Authors Notes: This one is for the Snoopy dance cult. < g >

Hey Sexy. Ooh, I love how you turn me on!

Still grinning, Spike sat back and logged onto the Internet. Ever since the first time that he went online, he knew he was hooked. If he wasn't already being shunned by the majority of the demons in Sunnydale, they would have definitely stopped hanging out with him since he stayed in almost all night and stayed up for most of the day to check out the Internet. His favorite part of it was the mail features. Every time he heard that funny sounding voice say, "You've got mail," he felt all loved and appreciated.

That night was no different, and Spike had to contain himself from doing the Snoopy dance across his crypt when he saw a mailbox full of messages. He made himself more comfortable and sat down to start reading them. "Ten posts from my Billy Idol list.... Three spams from the provider of my Billy Idol list.... Bloody wankers."

Spike kept scrolling down, deleting the messages that he didn't want, and he was finally left with only one email. "Enlarge Your Penis Now. Well, no use in keeping that! Well, maybe a little peek wouldn't hurt..."

Looking around his crypt, he made sure that nobody was watching him. He was the Big Bad, and did have a reputation to protect, afterall! He opened up the email, and started to read. "What the bloody hell is this?!? I never sent them a soddin' feedback form! I wonder if any of the other people on here did."

Curiosity got to him, so he started to check out the other people the email was sent to. DeadSexy126, DeadSexy128, DeadSexy129... Feeling a bit angry, Spike decided to check the profiles to these names, to see who was trying to steal his idea. He clicked on the member directory button, only to find out that none of these names were real. Determined to see if anything was in fact real, he checked out every single name that the advertisement had been sent to. Out of the 47 people it had been sent to, the only real names were DeadSexy127 and OneOfAKind.

Ignoring the rest of his emails, Spike started to read the only other real profile.

Member Name: Anne
Location: Hell. Literally. < g >
Sex: Your place or mine? ;)
Marital Status: bleh. No comment.
Hobbies: a lot of self defense training, trying to discover myself, and dancing.
Computer: The one that my best friend shoved in my face.
Occupation: you don't wanna know. lol
Personal Quote: There are 24 hours in a day. I just prefer the last 12 of them. :)

The vampire stared thoughtfully at his monitor. "Well she sounds just neat. I doubt she knows anything about Hell though. I think I'll email her and show her a bit about it."

He sat down and started to write a short email, just introducing himself. He was bored and needed to talk to someone. Once he was done writing to her, he looked at his clock and swore to himself. It was just about that time that he had to leave for a little while, just to make sure that Buffy did alright with her patrolling. It's not that he cared if she died or not. He just wanted a front row seat when it happened.

With a small pout, Spike logged off and left his computer running so that he could just hurry up and sign on when he got back. He stepped out into the cemetery and set out to find the Slayer. It normally wasn't hard to find her, but it took over an hour for him to locate her. It was a little after 3 am, when he watched her step into her house and shut the door, unaware as always that he was even there.

Feeling better that she was home for the night, Spike walked back to his crypt. For a second he wondered why he was relieved to see that she was safe, but he assumed it was just because he still had time to get the chip out and do it himself. It had nothing to do with the way her eyes twinkled when she smiled, or the way her body curved in the tight little numbers she liked to wear. It was all business. Nothing more.

With his mind still on Buffy and all the reasons he didn't like her, Spike grinned again when he saw that he had mail. He quickly deleted the junk mail and moved on to the email from Anne. "So, the little chit responded! I wonder if she's on now..." He quickly put her on his buddy list under the 'people to shag' group, and decided to just write her an email, and maybe talk to her if she signed on later.

Hi Anne
Well, it looks like I just missed you. I had a couple of things that I had to do too. I can almost promise you that you haven't seen hell until you've seen my town! Very dangerous neck of the woods. And about the whole biting thing... Maybe we know the same group with all the biting and all. lol So, I'll be online for a while tonight. IM me if you come on and you want to chat, okay? Bye for now.
~Will

Minutes after he sent the email, he saw OneOfAKind pop up on his buddy list. A smile crossed his face as he clicked on her name.

DeadSexy127: Hello Cutie. ;)