Yellow Skies
By:Isis
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, or anything related to, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Joss Whedon and ME do.
Rated: PG-13
*As always, thank you MadRog, for your time and help.
Reviews: Thank you! Thank you for taking the time to let me know what you think. It makes me really happy, and it's what keeps me going. :)
Email: isis_fanfic@hotmail.com
Distribution: Yes, but please ask first, and let me know where it's going.
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Chapter 9
Awakening
"So, who was on the phone?" Dawn asked Willow, as she came bouncing down the stairs. Tara followed her, carrying a laundry basket full of clothes to be folded, and Willow sat back on the couch with a "humph" at the site of them.
"It was Spike," Willow answered, a little lost in thought. She got up, but Tara cleared her throat, and Willow knew she wasn't going to get out of folding laundry. "I, I was just going to find a spell that matches socks and folds those sometimes tricky shirts."
Tara gave her "the look". Willow half- smiled and sat back down. "I'm joking, no magic. No sir-ree, not for this domestic gal."
Tara giggled, and then asked, "So is everything ok with Buffy?"
"Yeah, Spike said she was sleeping. He wanted to know something though, about a spell."
"So, he wants you to do a spell for him?" Tara asked, a little slighted that Spike would ask that of her. She was pretty sure he realized Willow was having trouble keeping her magic under control.
Willow put the shirt she had folded on top of the pile, and got up to retrieve some books that were stacked next to the couch. "No. I guess when he found Buffy, Warren was trying to do some spell, and he wanted to make sure it didn't work on her. He told me what kind of stuff Warren had out, and a couple of words he had heard before interrupting him."
"Do you have reason to think it did work? Did he say she was acting differently?" Tara asked concerned, grabbing a book to look though.
"He didn't say, just that she was acting a little nicer to him than normal."
Dawn had stopped looking for whatever it was she was looking for in her backpack, and went to the kitchen. She grabbed an apple from the kitchen to munch on, but never let the conversation out of her range of hearing. She came back in and sat in her previous spot on the floor. "So, and Spike's complaining?"
"No. Just wanted to make sure everything is ok with her, I guess."
Dawn rolled her eyes. "Well, you know Buffy, always with the keeping of feelings inside, and living in the land of denial." She took a bite of her apple and talked while chewing. "I think Buffy should give him a chance.' She studied that apple before taking another bite, then moved it around before her to add emphasis, "I mean, sometimes I wonder...I think they've been doinking, or at least some heavy make out sessions... you guys heard her saying his name in her sleep..." Dawn looked thoughtful for a second, then nonchalantly went on, "...and I don't think Spike wears underwear, because every time he's around Buffy..."
"Dawn!" Tara and Willow said at the same time. Tara looked at Willow, a certain way that somehow or another, Dawn understood.
Dawn jumped up. "Oh my God, they are! They've been..."
"Dawn," Willow said, a little stern. "We never said..."
"That's sooo cool." Dawn said enthusiastically. The look on the two witches told her to take it down a notch. "I mean, not in a cool, Buffy's doing a guy and doesn't even bother to tell us she has feelings for him, kinda way." Willow looked at her, her eyebrow raised, to which Dawn took as a warning. "Ok, not good she is having premarital sex. That is bad. Bad Buffy." She was quiet for as long as she could stand, then couldn't help herself, "But it's awesome. I like Spike...I wanted her to finally admit..."
"Buffy hasn't admitted anything other than...I think Buffy is still confused as to what she feels for Spike."
"Yeah, I think she's integrated the thought that she hates Spike, so far into her mind, that she doesn't even think to feel what's in her heart." Tara suggested. "Willow, not to change the subject, but we better get this done so I can start packing our stuff, and you can look up that spell. Then we'll go visit Buffy for a while, and you can fill Spike in."
Dawn sat up a little more now. "That's right, you guys are leaving tomorrow night, right? Won't you take me with you? Who's going to stay here with me?"
Willow patted the top of Dawn's head, as she walked by her. "Well, Spike made it sound like Buffy may not be in the hospital much longer, and Xander said if she is still there, he and Anya will stay here with you. Tara and I need this time together, and we won't be gone that long."
"Will you send me a post card?"
Willow chuckled. "We're just going to a bed and breakfast on the coast. Not like we are going to Hawaii or something. But yes, I'll send you a postcard."
****
Spike walked back inside the hospital, his lips holding a cigarette before he raised his fingers to it, and took a drag. A nurse walking by gave him a dirty look. "Sir..."
"Yeah," said Spike, as he pulled it out and threw it in a drinking fountain on his way by.
He could still hear the over-sized bird squawking as he turned a corner. "Sir, that's unsanitary. I'm gonna have to..." Her voice faded as he made his way to the stairs. Elevator was faster, but he needed to stretch his legs a bit more. On his way up to the fourth floor, he thought about Buffy - how he was one step closer to her, yet in reality, maybe still one-step behind. He debated now if it was a good call on his part to have asked Willow about the spell. He knew what the spell was for; he knew it was to make Buffy love that demon bloke, partially because he had figured as much so, and partially because Buffy had filled him in a little more since then. He didn't have an exact reason why he hadn't told Willow, he just thought it would be better if he acted a little dumb about it. It's not like he lied, he just didn't give her all the info.
Half of him wanted the spell to have had at least some effect on her, so that maybe the chances of her loving him would be out of the near negative zone. After all, it was to make her love a demon, and that he was. But the other half, where his heart spoke from, wanted her to love him on her own free will.
'It's not like she was saying she loved me, or was trying to hold my hand.' He thought to himself, 'Buffy can be nice, sometimes. But knowing there is even a smidgen of a chance that any nice words on her part are do to some sodding spell.' He pushed through the doors, and walked down a hallway that led to the unit Buffy was in.
Spike entered her room, and was floored by the scene before him. Buffy was straddling Xander, who was sitting in the chair, half of his ass sliding toward the ground.
"What the fuck?" Spike growled.
Xander looked petrified and held his hands up. "Hey, hey, not the one, just sitting here...she came... I mean, she walked over here."
Buffy continued to snuggle into Xander's neck, making Xander squeal. She said something Spike couldn't hear, but he didn't want to. This out and out disgusted him. Buffy wanted Xander? He growled again and stomped towards them.
Xander kept trying to push Buffy back, but she kept insisting and asking, "Don't you want me?"
Xander looked desperately at Spike. He could tell Spike was pissed, and so he wondered if this was going to end up being one of Spike's "this is going to be worth it" times. "Wait, Spike...I think she thinks I'm you or something, I don't know. I think she's sleepwalking, or delusional, or both. All I know is I'm innocent guy, here."
Spike stopped and looked at her. Yeah, something was off. "Buffy?"
Buffy grabbed Xander's hand and put it on her breast. Xander pulled away and said, "Hey!"
Spike glared at him, "Yeah, you better 'hey'!" He touched Buffy's shoulder. "Buffy."
"Yeah, Spike. I know how you like it," Buffy said, but was still looking at Xander, all seductive.
Xander was quite uncomfortable. "See, she thinks I'm you. And do I even want to know how she knows how you like it?"
Spike looked at him, and that told Xander everything. He muttered, "Oh, oh God."
Spike took Buffy's arm and shook it to wake her up. Xander pushed his hand away. "No, you are not supposed to wake someone that's sleepwalking."
"Well fancy that, works out nicely for you then." He clicked his tongue. "If you think I'm going to let her..."
Xander nudged Buffy slowly off of him. "No, I'm not the one that's low enough to use a situation like this to my benefit."
"Oh, what, and I am?" Spike asked, acting like he was surprised by the statement, all the while, still thinking in the back of his mind he wish he were in Xander's place.
Xander got Buffy to stand up, and then talked her back to the bed. She settled in, and looked like she had just gone back to her regular, sleeping self.
"Well, that was interesting. What do you think brought that on?" Xander asked as he straitened out his clothes.
Spike's blood went down to simmer, instead of boiling. He decided to let it go. "Hell if I know. Probably just all that's happened has her on edge, stressed out a bit."
"So stress is the aphrodisiac to get Buffy wanting you?"
"Ha... more or less. So anyway, the girls may be over later for a visit. Buffy should be awake by then."
Xander sat back down, and took a sip of his now cold coffee. "I can't believe Buffy didn't tell me."
Spike figured he meant the fact that Buffy had slept with him. "Look, I don't think it's something she was proud of." Heck, he knew it, she had told him enough times.
"Yeah, but *you* were probably making buttons to wear to the demon bars that read, 'I did the slayer.'"
Spike swallowed and looked away, before his temper got the best of him.
Xander finally looked up at Spike. "Well, congratulations are in order. All those times I said you'd never get her, and you two were doing it all along, right?"
"If I can't get it through to her that I love her, then I suppose it's worthless to even begin to explain it to you. You think it's a joke, a game... fine, but I know the truth." He felt like such a ponce... he had a reputation to keep. He was the big bad, a force to be reckoned with. Xander was scared of him, and the last news he should be flinging about was that he turns into a weak, tingly blob of mush, whenever Buffy is concerned.
Spike straightened up, and put on his best evil demeanor, with a touch of "I'm so cute even you may secretly want me" charm, hidden in the undertones of his voice, "I *love* Buffy. Whether you acknowledge that as the truth or not, doesn't change the reality of it. I'd do anything for her, and I think I've proven that. I've walked over myself, to be more like her...closer to her, what she is. *If* you are truly her friend, I'd think you'd hold her hand through her decisions in life, instead of pushing her in the direction you expect her to go."
Xander got up, and grabbed his jacket. He stood looking at Buffy for a while, before heading out. He got to the door and then turned back again toward Spike, who was standing with his back to him. This would be easier, he imagined, not having to look him in the face. "Tell you what. As much as I *really* hate to say this, you are right. Buffy's known you long enough to make the decision if she wants to be with you or not, on her own. So, I'm going to back off and just hope she is happy with whatever she chooses. And if she does choose to be with you, I certainly won't be having a party to welcome you to the family, but I guess I could settle for being a pain in your ass only some of the time."
After Spike heard the door shut behind him, he let out a breath that was long and slow. Part of the burdening weight that had come along with his and Buffy's crazy relationship, had just been partially chipped away. It felt good.
Spike walked over to admire his sleeping beauty- he liked the bead head look, reminded him of the past times he had the privilege of seeing it. It always made him want to run his fingers through her hair, but she was never one to stick around long enough to let him.
He pulled the covers up around her, and grinned as he thought how little the hospital gown covered her. Too bad he hadn't been around the times she had snuck off to the bathroom...he would have had quite a sight as she walked off, seeing how her ass would have been in view through the slit in the back.
He had to grab himself because the ache for her was growing, so to speak. And to know, because of the happenings a few minutes before, that she wanted him, made it all the more intense.
After gently kissing her forehead, he went to the chair for a nap. Heck, if it wasn't a hospital, he may have kept himself occupied in a different fashion. He thought about laying his duster over his lap, but what if Buffy woke? Or a nurse came in and he had to get up for some reason. Damn it! He'd just have to wait. He cursed under his breath and let himself slip into sleep- where good things always happen.
****
Buffy felt the sun upon her face, and opened her eyes. She stood in a field, that stretched as far as the eye could see, and beside her stood a giant, oak tree.
"Hey, fancy meeting you here."
Buffy turned to the sound of Spike's voice. "Spike? What are you doing here?"
"Don't ask me, it's your sodding dream. And you could have provided me with a blanket if you were going to keep me waiting on such a sunny day." He didn't look very happy.
"Sorry." Buffy looked around and noticed something moving on the other side of the huge tree trunk. She walked to the other side, and stood staring at the sight before her. "I made them for you," came Spike's voice from behind her.
A stick was propped up against the tree, and Spike picked it up and handed it to her. Buffy looked at him, then at the piņatas that hung from the lowest branch. "Get it all out, Buffy."
She walked up to the one of Riley, the paper mache matched his initiative uniform. Captain Cardboard was written across his chest. His eyes were looking down at her, and his face looked grim. She turned, as if to say something to Spike.
"Buffy, it's a dream. Nothing is real, except what you are feeling." Spike leaned against the tree and took out a fag.
Buffy held the thick stick up, a little unsure. "This is for giving up on me. I had given up on myself, and you didn't stick by me. For leaving me...for leaving me," she shouted, and then knocked his legs off. "You never did like I could beat you," she said as she moved on to the next figure, her posture confident. "And you, Parker." Parker's naked form swung before her. His cock was grotesquely large and hard, the place where his heart should be, just a hole. Buffy had to smile to herself, that Spike remembered what Parker had done to her. She took aim at his cock, seeing that was more or less his heart, and hit it hard. It fell to the ground with a thump and Buffy smiled victoriously. "Let's see ya talk to all the girls with half your blood supply gone." She moved on to the next figure, biting her lip as she contemplated her actions. It was Angel. She backed away slowly.
Spike now perked up a bit, was she going to back out of doing Angel in? "Oh! Hey, give me the stick, let me have a second go at the poof."
Buffy nodded, "Not a chance!" She took a couple quick steps toward Angel and plunged the stick through his heart. "Also, for leaving me." Spike settled back down, smiling at the site of Buffy staking her once lover.
Last but not least, was her dad- the hardest one by far, because he was the beginning. Buffy stood there for what seemed like hours, thinking. Then she let loose, hitting him over and over, all the while crying and pleading to know why he wasn't in her life. Spike had to leave to the other side of the tree, because it was even too much for him to watch. His heart was breaking for her.
Finally, her voice died down, and so did her sobs, so he went back to meet up with her. She was wiping away the last of her tears, and a radiant smile broke across her face. "I'm ready."
Buffy felt the ground move, and then she fell into a blackness that surrounded her. Then in an instant, she was sitting by a fire, in the dessert, talking to the first Slayer.
Buffy sat there as the other slayer shuffled around behind the fire. The flames seemingly engulfed her. Then she was still, as she stood staring into Buffy's eyes, slightly unnerving her. The first Slayer resumed her crouching and walking behind the fire. Her voice rose above the roar of the fire, "You will slowly wake to life, just as you will slowly fade from it. That's how life is; not easy answers to complicated questions, as you expect." The painted woman threw something that looked like dust, into the fire. "Nothing in life is for sure, but death. Your death was your gift, and love was behind your gift. Without it, your gift would have not have been so potent."
Buffy digested what she could of her words. "But why was I brought back?"
"So full of love, so scared to feel. Now be free to love fiercely, freely, and except the love that is given to you in return. Don't be afraid of it. Don't let fear be stronger than your desire." The flames rose higher, until everything became a brilliant orange that she had to close her eyes against. Once the heat of the flames was gone, Buffy opened her eyes and saw the hospital ceiling through thick haze. Sitting up, she felt almost nauseous. Everything felt tilted, and distorted. Then she saw a tiny light come toward her, until it burst into radiant beams, and settled into her mother's image. "Mom!" Joyce went over and hugged her daughter.
"Mommy." She clung against her mother's form. "Are you real? Or am I still dreaming?"
Joyce patted Buffy's head, which was now buried against her chest. "No, this isn't a dream Buffy."
Buffy looked up into her mother's face and then touched it, barely containing her tears as she did so. "I missed you. It's been so hard..."
"I know. I've missed you, too. Since you left, I've been looking over you, as always."
Buffy scrunched up her face. "Left?"
"Heaven." Joyce smoothed down Buffy's hair. "I had hoped you wouldn't remember; I knew it would only make it harder."
"I...I was in Heaven? I thought so, but I couldn't remember any of it. Just the feeling of being there, that's all I took back with me. I guess that's why it felt so peaceful, and happy. You were there with me." Understanding washed over Buffy.
"Yes, we were together. I knew you were coming because I saw it all happen. And what you did for Dawn, I've never been so proud of you Buffy. I knew you had turned into a woman before I had to leave the earth, but never as much so, as on that day."
"Why did you let them bring me back here?"
"I wanted it because I thought you needed it."
"What?" asked Buffy, nothing less than totally confused.
"Buffy, I know every detail of your life. Things you never filled me in on, I now know. Things that happened after I left the Earth, I have seen." Joyce wiped a tear from Buffy's cheek. "You were happy in Heaven, but I knew there were things left undone at home. I knew someday you would be here with me again, but for you to be able to go back and finish your life, that's a one-time deal. Something not many people get to do, but since you had put your life out to save the world, I knew my request would be answered."
"You asked for me to come back here?"
Joyce kissed Buffy's forehead, then looked her dead in the eye. "From now on, every morning that you look out a window and see the sun rising into a yellow sky, embrace this world, and know you are meant to be here." Joyce pulled Buffy into a fierce hug. "I have to go. I love you and Dawn very much, Buffy. Know I am always with you, and *will* see you again, someday."
"I love you, too."
Joyce slowly backed away, still looking at Buffy. She stopped by Spike, who was still sleeping in the chair, but never took her eyes off of her daughter's face. "Follow your heart." Then her mother's form fell into itself, until there was just that little dot of light that whipped away in a second. The room shifted, and everything felt back to normal.