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"Republican Party Reptile"

My cousin PJ gets crazy just as much as he can
A real party reptile for a northern man
He’s dressed like a republican
He thinks conservative
But he drives faster than I ever did
He’s into nuclear power and insider deals
He has a scene with baby oil and heels
He’s my favorite politician
When he comes on weird
Says I’m not fit for this office let’s get out of here
My, my, loves his ma and apple pie
Well, well, he’s the party’s favorite guy
I hope you like it
You know I’m going to take good care of you
I hope you like it
I hope next time you bring your friends with you
He’s a drinkin’, huntin’, shootin’, fishin’ son of a gun
He knows a surgeon’s gonna keep his wife young
Got industrial kickbacks in an offshore bank
Knows who to stand on and he knows how to thank
I hope you like it
You know I’m going to take good care of you
I hope you like it
I hope next time you bring your friends with you
My, my, loves his ma and apple pie
Well, well, he’s the party’s favorite guy
He likes to come take me for a night with the boys
He talks about the NRA and their toys
Got an automatic rifle in his pick up truck
He drives me home when he’s in no state to walk
My, my, loves his ma and apple pie
Well, well, he’s the party’s favorite guy
I hope you like it
You know I’m going to take good care of you
I hope you like it
I hope next time you bring your friends with you
I hope you like it
Love it, like it
I hope you like it
Love it, like it

Thanks to those who have assisted with lyrics transcription and/or correction: Jonathan Berkey, Michael Bickley, Todd Carrier, Tony Dennison, Mattias Engvall, Svein B. Hjorthaug, Kimberly Hynd, Jeff Cetola, Lewis Crow, Ian Ingham, Christian Jennings, Thomas Kercheval, John Lewis, Simon McKenzie, Allard Mosk, Eric Mossfeldt, Erle Mundle, Martin Powell, Brady Severns, Valeri Shaw, Jeroen Sprenkeler, Bas van Giesen, Michael Wallack and Greg Ziegler. Special thanks to Oliver Hunter.