Incompetent Cervix After Infertility

By Theresa

I had a miscarriage on Sept 16, 1999 of boy/girl twins after 7yrs of infertility treatments.  I also had a early miscarriage and a tubal pregnancy 2 yrs ago which nearly killed me.

After I found out (on Father's Day) I was very excited but nervous since I had so many complications in the past, I went for ultrasounds every week then 2 weeks.  At about 8 weeks I started staining and they told me not to worry, then I started bleeding.  I went to a specialist and on sonograms he found out I had placenta previa and said it would probably rise up when I got a little bigger.  At about 15 weeks I did my registry because they told me I would be on bedrest starting at 24 weeks . I started feeling pressure although I didn't know at the time that's what it was. Then on Sunday I started having pains in the center right above my pubic bone but they went away. On wed they got worse. I went in to the doctor at 9 pm and he told me it was probably stretching , and I didn’t look like a woman in labor but if it got worse go to the hospital, so I went home. I knew something was wrong at around 12:30 am when my water broke.

I didn’t even know that's what had happened.  I almost collapsed, I was so nervous that they would keep me in the hospital never thinking of a miscarriage.  I thought they would give me medicine and put me on bed rest. When I got there the pain was worse.  They did a sonogram and he only saw one baby. He did an internal I was 5cm and 100% effaced. He said there was nothing they could do, I just couldn't understand it.  I kept asking them why can't they save them. I saw one on the screen still moving all around. They gave me an epidural and I waited for 12 hrs to deliver my son and daughter. I named them Francesca & Robert.

I never even held them or saw them. They said it was better that way but now I am not so sure. They were buried and now I go to the cemetery almost daily.  No one asked if I had a cone biopsy until the night of the miscarriage which I had it 11 yrs ago. I never thought it could do this. I waited 7 yrs to get pregnant only to lose them. I feel as if my body killed them or I should have known to tell the doctor I had a cone biopsy. They said next time they will do the stitch.

It took me 7 yrs and $60,000.00 to get here. If I had a guarantee the invitro would work I would try now.  Mentally I don't think me or my husband is ready especially him, he wont even talk about trying.  He says he can't get out of the past and what happened.  Maybe it's because he was on the other side watching the whole thing. He saw the babies lifeless bodies. Maybe it was too much for him after all these yrs.  The only good thing was that I had a wonderful doctor in the hospital. He let my whole family stay with me until it was time to deliver and he wants me to try again. I don't know what to do.  I go back and forth every day with it. What if the invitro fails? Worse, what if it works and the stitch fails?  I don't think I can bear to lose another child.

If anyone wants to talk feel free to write lountree@aol.com