Mikayla's Story

By Connie

I had previously lost a baby boy on Dec. 5th of 2000 at 18 weeks. He had died about 1 to 2 weeks before I went into labor and we never did find out why. It was very hard on us because we had just gotten married 3 days before losing him and we were on the last day of our honeymoon. After losing Dylan I was desperately trying to conceive again and stressed myself out so much about it I would actually make my period late! After 3 months of trying I decided to just take it easy and not worry and I then became pregnant! We were so excited but still feared losing this pregnancy so I was a bit paranoid. Things seemed to go just fine though! I was feeling good, getting big, and just had very positive thoughts about this pregnancy!

I had a wonderful Dr. and after learning that I had miscarried Dylan at 18 weeks he wanted to see me more often. We scheduled an appointment between appointments so he could check my cervix and make sure that I wasn't dilating. This appointment was on Aug. 28th 2001 at 5:30 p.m. I noticed around p.m. that day that I was feeling a little bit crampy but I thought it might have just been either the baby moving around or gas. I explained this to the Dr. and he became very concerned. We listened to the heartbeat with the Doppler and he said the baby sounded great! He then checked my cervix and his words still echo in my head! He said, " Oh my, this is not good. Not good at all! You are dilating!" I immediately became hysterical. I told my husband that I could not go through losing another baby! I was rushed to Labor and Delivery at another hospital by ambulance. The DR's there confirmed my dilation and said it to be about 2 cm open. The membranes were bulging through my cervix as well. I was not allowed to get out of bed. They had the bed tilted towards my head in hope everything would slide back up. In the morning a specialist came in and checked my cervix again. She said I was now dilated to 6 cm. We talked about a few options how we could handle this. The odds were really against me. The DR told me us could start pitocin to induce labor, we could also wait a day or two (I would not be able to leave the hospital) and see what happens but most likely I would not be able to keep the baby more than a day, and last we could try a cerclage but chances were it wouldn't work. I had to give my baby every chance of survival so I went with the cerclage. I was willing to take the health risks if it worked!

I was taken into surgery later that evening. They tried several attempts to give me a epidural but because of the position I was in (I had to be laying down at all times in fear of breaking the membranes) it was unsuccessful. I was then put under a general. When I woke up I was told the cerclage didn't work because I was fully dilated and when the Dr.'s tried to push the membranes back up it broke. All I could do was cry. I kept telling my husband it was not fair and why did this happen to me? What had I done? I also told my husband that I was so sorry. I was then put on pitocin and at 11:56 p.m. on Aug. 28th 2001 I gave birth to a beautiful little girl and named her Mikayla Lynn. She was so tiny weighing in at 5 3/4 oz and she was 7 1/2 inches long. She was perfect, her little fingers and toes were all there. I got to hold and touch her. The hospital took Polaroid’s and also the more professional pictures. She was dressed in a little hand made dress. I was given a keepsakes box with her dress, blanket, feet and hand prints, and pictures. Its been 3 weeks now since I lost my little girl and I miss her so very much! I know she is with her brother now and that they are safe.

I saw a high risk Dr. a week ago to discuss what we are going to do with the next pregnancy. Test results on the placenta showed infection but its not known if it was there before or after I started dilating. The DR believes that I have an incompetent cervix. I was given a couple of options for next time. 1. To wait and see if I start dilating. I will be checked and measure weekly and if I start to dilate they will put a cerclage in. 2. To put a cerclage in at 14 weeks and be monitored for contractions so I don't tear my cervix. We can start trying again in 3 months and I am so scared! With the help of my high risk Dr. I hope to have a successful pregnancy! Anyone is welcome to e-mail me at Mattnconnie@aol.com. Thanks for letting me share my story.