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My Little Angels By Meli Back in 1998, I became pregnant for the first time. Ed and I had been together for 3 years and wanted children although we really weren’t ready for them. But that November I took a pregnancy test and much to our surprise, there it was....the positive sign. We were very scared and extremely happy at the same time that nine months from then we would have our first child. Everything went fine until the 20th week and 3 days of pregnancy. I noticed some spotting and got a little alarmed, I ran and got my pregnancy books only to read that spotting is normal during pregnancy. I still felt uneasy and so I told my grandmother, she urged me to go to the hospital. When Ed got home from work we rushed to the ER. After I explained to the nurse my situation she sent me to Labor and Delivery. I was examined there by a perinatologist and he said everything looked fine. He then performed a quick ultrasound to see if the baby was okay and he was fine. That’s when Ed saw his baby for the first time, and when we learned we were having a boy. We were so excited and for a brief moment forgot the whole reason we visited the hospital in the first place. The doctor sent me home and told me if I started bleeding any heavier, felt a gush of water, or started experiencing contractions at least 5 minutes apart, to go back the hospital. We thought we were out of the woods until about 1:00 a.m. the next day. I was lying in bed and started having cramps. Since this was my first pregnancy I didn't really know if they were contractions so I called my sister in-law and explained to her what I was feeling, she said they sounded like contractions. I lied back down and started timing my contractions, sure enough they were exactly 5 minutes apart. I then had a sudden urge to use the toilet, when I sat on the toilet I felt something bulging out. That’s when I got really scared. Ed wasn't home yet and I called him telling him to pick me up because I needed to go to the ER again. While in the car the contractions started getting more intense. We finally got to the hospital and I was rushed immediately to L and D. When the doctor came to the examine, she tells us the news we really didn't want to hear.... I was already 5 to 6 centimeters dilated, fully effaced, and my membranes were bulging. She said there was nothing they could do to save my baby. I could not take the pain and requested an epidural, by this time none of this had sunken in yet until I felt an urge to push. When I did I felt my baby come out and when I realized he was no longer inside of me.. that’s when I really lost it. I delivered Angel On April 11, 1999 at 6:55 a.m. He was only 320 grams. We decided it was better not to see him because we felt it would be too painful but, I regret that decision to this very day. We do have pictures of him and he was just as perfect as can be.... my little boy. The doctor at the ER diagnosed me with an incompetent cervix and said I would need a stitch in my subsequent pregnancy. For months after Angel passed away life was just horrible. I cried and cried. We decided to wait and I got on the depo-povera shot. One year and a half later I got off the shot due to uncomfortable side affects. On July of 2000, I found out I was pregnant again. We were so excited, but a week later I miscarried. We were beginning to think that our dreams of becoming parents were never going to come true until September 2000, when by accident I became pregnant again. Now we were really terrified. I was sent to see a perinatologist due to my history. I explained to my doctor what happened with my previous pregnancies, but she said I would not need a cerclage because my pregnancy with Angel sounded like premature labor. So, trusting her expertise I did not get the cerclage. Things were going just wonderful until I was scheduled for a cervical scan. My cervix was measuring at 2.7. Every two weeks I went in for a scan and always measured the same. I was told that if it got any shorter I would need an emergency cerclage. At 19 weeks and 5 days, I woke up to go and use the bathroom. I noticed some spotting. I was getting worried, when I went to the bathroom again I had lost my mucous plug. We rushed to the ER and when the perinatologist came to examine me I was already 3 centimeters dilated. I explained to the doctors that I wanted everything done to try and save this baby, and so they admitted me and put me on bedrest for 24 hours. There I was on the Trendelburg position waiting to see if the baby the would slip back in. No luck, after lots of thinking and fear of infection, Ed and I decided to induce labor. At 6:55 p.m. I delivered my baby girl she weighed 340 grams. This time I requested to hold my baby girl and it was the most emotional time of our lives. She was so precious, so tiny, so perfect, and my little girl. Now I have 2 little Angels waiting for me when my time comes and I look forward to that reunion. I hope that in the near future I can write about my success story. Good luck to all you suffering mothers and my condolences. Please feel free to e-mail me. Thank you for listening. e-mail address: babymeli@msn.com |
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Copyright © 1999 - 2001, Incompetent Cervix and Pregnancy Support |
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