*******

Part 2

Nasedo had everything ready within a few days and declared that the departure would take place the following morning, Thursday. Max and Isabel begged and pleaded for just a few more days. While they wouldn't be allowed to tell their parents where they were going and why they would never come back, Isabel wanted to be able to say goodbye, even if her family wouldn't know that she was. Nasedo argued with her that a clean break was the way to go. It took a direct order from Max for Nasedo to grudgingly agree to a new departure time. They would leave on Monday, just before sunrise.

How should he spend his last few days on Earth? There were so many things he could do, so many things he hadn't had the chance to experience. But if he was truly honest with himself, Max knew there was only one thing he wanted to do. He wondered if four days was enough time to find out exactly where Liz lived. He could travel to Massachusetts to see her. He was suddenly panicked at the idea of leaving the planet without seeing her one last time. He hadn't seen her at all since high school. His fantasies of her had faded over the years and he had made a good life with Tess. He had learned to ignore the ache in his heart every time he was reminded of Liz but he had never truly forgotten her, and now all those repressed feelings were coming back to the surface with a vengeance.

He loved Tess, he was pretty certain of that. But not like he had loved Liz. Not like he still loved her. He waited for the familiar guilt to overcome him at the idea of wanting to see another woman when his long-time girlfriend was pregnant with his child but it didn't come.

He had to see Liz again. She might not remember him but he had to see her again. Even if he didn't talk to her, he needed to just look at her one last time and remember all that could have been.

***

Max walked into the Crashdown Café for the first time in years. When he had finally decided that his future was with Tess, Max had cut every tie he could think of that linked him to Liz Parker in any way, short of moving out of Roswell. It had become too difficult to be there and be reminded of everything that he would never have. As the door closed behind him and the familiar smell of fried food assaulted his nostrils, Max was instantly taken back to his high school days, when he would come here after class and pray to be seated in Liz's section just so he could watch her for an hour or so.

He had spent the last few days doing research on the internet and everywhere else he could think of, trying to locate Liz without any success. He was here in a last-ditch effort to find out where she was. He had resisted coming to ask for the Parkers' help before; he didn't want Liz's parents to be worried that he might be some kind of stalker. But now, his time on Earth was quickly running out; he had nothing left to lose.

"Welcome to the Crashdown, booth or table?"

Max opened his eyes to see a short blonde with a wide smile holding out a menu to him. Her nametag said Alicia. Before Max could answer, someone spoke up from behind the girl.

"Mr. Evans always preferred the booth."

His heart skipped a beat when he recognized the sultry voice. His eyes met hers and the feelings he had buried so deep for so long rose to the surface.

How could he even think that he was in love with Tess?

"And I think your favorite one is free, too," Liz said, indicating the booth where Max had spent so many hours as a teenager. Max stood frozen in place as Liz took the menu from Alicia's hand and walked to the empty booth. Could she really be here? After the disheartening search of the last few days, could seeing Liz again really be that easy? He finally started to move when she turned back to him. The few steps it took to reach her side seemed to take forever and it was all Max could do to resist the urge to touch her when he finally stood by her side.

They looked at each other for a moment before Max finally found his voice. "Hi, Liz," was all he could manage to say.

"Hey, Max," Liz said. "Long time no see."

"Yeah," Max nodded as he slipped in the booth.

"Do you mind if I join you for a moment?" Liz asked.

Max shook his head quickly. Of course he didn't mind. She sat down and they looked at each other for a moment, both of them suddenly shy and unsure what to say.

"I can't believe you remember me," Max said. "Let alone that you know I liked this booth."

Liz laughed, a light, crystalline laugh and Max felt 16 again, in the bio lab, on the rare but always joyful occasions when he had managed to come up with something witty to say to her.

"You spent a lot of time here in high school, of course I remember you."

"And you remember all your customers that well?" Max couldn't help but ask. He was stunned when a pretty blush rose in Liz's cheeks.

"Just those I had a crush on," she admitted.

Max bit his lip. "And how long is that list?"

It wasn't like him to be so bold. He had spent a lifetime trying to be invisible, and saying things like that wouldn't have allowed him to remain in the shadows for very long. But he was leaving the freaking planet in less than 48 hours; there would never be another chance like this.

"It's pretty short," she admitted.

Alicia chose that moment to come up to the booth.

"Are you ready to order?" she asked Max.

Max shook himself back to reality. He blinked and almost expected Liz to have vanished when he opened his eyes again. But she was still there, looking at him with a small smile. Finally, he looked at the expectant waitress. "I would like a cheeseburger and Saturn rings, or whatever you have these days that is similar."

"We still have Saturn rings," the girl said, taking the menu back. "Mrs. Richards? Will you be eating as well?"

Liz glanced at Max and seemed to make a decision. "Why not. Just bring me a side order of fries and 2 cherry cola," she said. "Mr. Evans' order is on the house."

"Of course! I'll be right back."

Max watched Liz who was toying with her place mat, straightening the fork and the knife with her finger.

"So, no more Parker?"

She shook her head with a smile. "Carter's family is very old-fashioned. One has to choose her battles carefully. I don't really mind. I still feel like Liz Parker most of the time."

"So how long have you been married?" Max asked, mostly to fill space. He knew exactly how long Liz had been married. It had been a long day, that Saturday not so long ago, when he had gotten up early and rode Michael's bike to the quarry where Tess wouldn't think to look for him. He had stared at the water for hours, trying to convince himself that he didn't care despite how tight his heart had been in his chest and how hard it was to breathe. He had gone home hours after the moon had risen.

"Almost two years," Liz smiled and Max could tell that she was happy. "How about you?" She looked at his hands. "I don't see a ring. Are you still with Tess?"

Max nodded. Before he realized what he was doing, he blurted out, "She's pregnant." He had no idea why he had just told Liz that. He and Tess hadn't even discussed it yet. He wasn't sure she even knew. The only reason Max knew at all was because of the connection with the baby.

Liz's face brightened. "Congratulations! Parenthood is great, you'll love it. Will the wedding be before or after the baby?"

"We haven't really discussed it yet." He wanted to get off the topic of them married to other people. "How come you know so much about parenthood?"

Liz was beaming. She reached for her necklace and opened the locket, leaning across the table so that Max could see it.

"This is my daughter, Caroline Maria. She's ten months old."

Max took the gold pendant between his fingers and stared at the photo of the smiling little girl. "She's beautiful," he said. He met Liz's eyes. "She looks like you."

"Thanks," she said, still smiling. Max looked at the photo a moment longer. The baby girl's hair was dark and she had her mom's doe eyes. Max felt a pang knowing that his own child would never look like that.

"Is she here with you?" he asked, letting go of the necklace. Liz shook her head.

"She's home with her dad. I'm on my own this weekend."

"Why are you in town? If you don't mind me asking?" She hadn't been here in so long, though Max supposed that maybe she had come to visit since her wedding. He was the one who hadn't been in this part of town much since then. How strange that she would be here just when he needed to see her. Whatever her reasons for being here, Max was beyond grateful for the coincidence.

Alicia returned with a couple of tall glasses, Max's lunch and Liz's fries. She placed the plates on the table and left. Liz started to munch on her fries and Max thought that she wouldn't answer him.

"I don't know, to be honest," Liz replied finally. At Max's surprised look, she elaborated. "I just had this very strong feeling that I should be in Roswell this weekend. That if I didn't come, I would miss my last chance to do whatever it is I am supposed to do. I thought maybe it was something to do with my parents but they are both fine, so I don't know. I'm only here until Monday morning. It was a really crazy thing to do, fly all the way out here for two days based on just a feeling, but it was strong. Just the thought of not coming... it was like I couldn't breathe." She shook her head. "I don't know how to explain it. Have you ever had a feeling like that?"

"Sometimes," Max said, swallowing hard. Was it just a coincidence? He didn't dare hope that maybe she had felt his need for her. But what else could explain her presence here?

"I wish I could say it was like a sixth sense, but it really isn't. I just get them once in a while, and usually I ignore them but this one was too strong to ignore. It's like I had to be here."

"Well, I, for one, am glad you listened," Max said. She would never know how glad he truly was. He was rewarded with a smile.

"I promised my mom I would go shopping with her this afternoon," Liz said a little regretfully. "But I liked catching up with you. Maybe we could hang out again next time I'm in town?"

Max debated whether or not to tell her he wouldn't be around next time she was in town. His impending departure was becoming more real with every passing moment and Max was filled with dread every time the thought crossed his mind. Out of nowhere, he said, "Are you free for dinner?"

Liz looked surprised but pleased. "My parents expect me to have dinner with them I guess, but we didn't make any formal plans."

"Let me take you somewhere."

Liz thought about it for a moment. "Won't Tess mind?"

Max didn't want to think about Tess right now. This was his last chance to ever spend some time with Liz. He shook his head. "We could catch up some more, reminisce about old times."

"I would like that."

"Can I pick you up at 6:30?"

"I'll wait for you outside."

***

Max was in front of the Crashdown at 6:30 sharp. He parked and walked around to the passenger side before Liz could climb into his vehicle. He opened the door for her.

"Thank you," she said. When he was back behind the wheel, she said, "I can't believe this Jeep is still running! You must be taking really good care of it."

"You know my Jeep?" Max was clearly surprised.

Liz nodded. "It's the same one you had in high school, right?" At Max's nod, she continued. "I used to have fantasies of you and me driving down the highway with the top down, the wind in our hair and not a care in the world."

"You did?" Max's mouth was suddenly dry. He had dreamed of the same thing a thousand times.

Liz's face was flushed. "Uh-uh. I had a crush on you, remember?"

Max smiled at her and couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if Tess had not shown up when she did. Where would they be today if he had had the chance to ask Liz to that dance? It wasn't the first time he ever wondered about that, but though he had wished it, he hadn't really believed that Liz had had feelings for him before now. To know that she had made the whole thing all the more bittersweet.

He parked in front of a restaurant and turned to Liz, slightly embarrassed.

"Is Senor Chow okay?"

Liz laughed and put a hand on his arm. He wondered if she could also feel the heat that radiated from the contact.

"It's fine, Max."

He scratched behind his ear. "I know it's not high cuisine or anything, but it's pretty nice and..." His voice trailed off. He wasn't sure if he should say what he had been about to say.

"And?"

He was leaving the planet in 36 hours. If he couldn't be honest with Liz Parker now, he never would.

"And, you weren't the only one with fantasies in high school," he admitted. "I had our first date planned down to the smallest details, and this was the best restaurant I could afford at the time."

"That's sweet," Liz said. She looked a bit uncomfortable though, and Max wasn't sure why. Hoping to diffuse the tension, he added, "Besides, I couldn't get us into Chez Pierre or any of the other better restaurants on a Saturday night on such short notice."

She laughed. "Senor Chow is fine," she assured him. "I'm always in the mood for Chinese Mexican food." She looked at him seriously. "Besides, we don't need fancy. We're just two old friends catching up, right?"

"Right," Max replied. He realized what had made her uncomfortable before; the mention that maybe he thought of this as a date. It wasn't a date. Not when she was married and he was expecting a child with another woman.

"Shall we?"

***

They were seated in a private booth near the back. After the waitress took their orders, they found themselves sharing an awkward silence.

"So," Liz finally said. "What else did you have planned for that first date of ours?"

Max blushed a little. "Well, there used to be a pool table here back in the day. And, well, that dance floor was there then too."

"So you would have kicked my butt in pool?" Liz asked.

Max snorted. "Hardly. I never played pool in my life. I was hoping you would teach me."

She raised an eyebrow. "How did you know I could play?" she asked.

"I overheard you and Alex once in school," he admitted.

She smiled. "So I would have had to show you how to line up shots and things like that?" Max nodded. "And, of course, I would have had to put my hand over yours to guide it and maybe lean in very close to make sure you were getting it right?"

A corner of Max's mouth lifted. "I was hoping it wasn't too obvious," he said.

"It wouldn't have been," she said. "But I'm not 16 anymore." She winked at him.

"I can see that," Max couldn't help but say. "And to think I thought you were gorgeous then..." He quickly looked away. Liz was a married woman.

"Thank you," she said. When he met her eyes again, she said, "You're more handsome than I remember. I didn't think that was possible."

Max felt the tip of his ear redden at her comment. No one had ever said he was good looking. Well, Tess did, but she was an alien too. No human had ever found him attractive.

"What would have happened after the pool lesson?"

"Hopefully dancing," Max replied. "And before you ask, no, I didn't know how to dance either. But that wasn't the point."

"The point was having your arms around me," Liz said.

Max nodded.

"I also had that particular fantasy," Liz said, a little wistful.

Max closed his eyes not wanting to think of everything they had missed.

***

"This has got to be the only restaurant on earth with the Won-Ton - Quesedilla combo," Liz laughed, looking at her plate.

"What, you mean that they don't mix egg rolls and enchiladas in Boston?"

Liz shook her head. "Only in Roswell. I miss this town sometimes." She took a spoonful of the Won-Ton. "So tell me, Max. How come we never had that first date?"

Max swallowed his mouthful and looked at her, regret in his eyes. "Because I was a painfully shy 16-year-old kid afraid of rejection, who knew that there wasn't a snowball chance in hell that someone as beautiful as Liz Parker would ever look my way."

"But you did go out with Tess, so you must have gotten over that shyness somehow." There was no reproach in her tone. She was merely stating a fact.

Max shook his head. "Tess pursued me forever before I agreed to go out with her. It took me almost a year to kiss her," he said. He didn't know why he was sharing those details with Liz. It's not like she would be interested in his relationship with Tess.

"You had more than a snowball's chance," Liz said after a moment. "As a matter of fact, your odds were pretty good." Liz smiled, remembering. "It would take me hours to fall asleep at night trying to find a way to casually bring up the subject of a date with you. Then I would see you in class and my nerves would take over. I would spend half the class wondering if you would ask me out, and then the second half trying to come up with the courage to ask you, or at least remember some of my brilliant planning and witty dialogue from the night before. But then, class would end and we'd be no closer to each other and I would leave and go home and tell myself that I would do better next time."

Max shook his head, a small smile on his lips. "That's how my bio labs would go, too," he said. "Except for one thing. I never waited for you to bring up the subject of a date because I never expected in a million years that you would want to ask me out, ever. If I had, I probably would have asked you myself."

"I almost did, you know. You probably don't remember."

Max met her eyes. "The party at the old soap factory. I remember. It only occurred to me later that maybe you wanted me to ask you to go with me. And by then, it was too late."

She frowned, not understanding. "You could have asked me to another party, I still would have said yes."

Max nodded, acknowledging her point. "But by then Tess had come to town and she had set her sights on me," he said. It wasn't exactly a lie but he couldn't exactly tell Liz that Tess had been his bride in another lifetime. "She was more aggressive than you were and I guess you moved on."

"I had never seen you show any interest in a girl before, so when you started hanging out with Tess I figured I had missed my chance."

"I would have picked you," Max said. I still would pick you, he thought. But he couldn't tell her that.

"And I would have picked you over Tom." She hesitated. "I think I might even have picked you over Carter," she confessed. She put her hands over her face. "Oh my, what a terrible thing to say! You won't tell him, right? I love my husband."

"My lips are sealed," Max assured her. "I know you love him. It's just a case of the grass being greener, I suppose."

"I guess," Liz said. She didn't look convinced.

Max reached over the table and took her hand in his. "Are you happy, Liz?"

Her eyes met his. "Yes. Carter and I have our ups and downs, like any relationship I guess, but I love my husband and I adore my daughter. I have a good job that I enjoy and still find challenging. I can't complain."

"Sounds like a charmed life," Max agreed.

"It is," Liz said. "I really shouldn't complain..."

"But...?"

Liz shook her head. "Unrealistic expectations," she said. "The bane of my existence."

"Such as?"

Liz considered her answer for a moment. "Have you ever felt like you might die and go to heaven if someone just touched your hand? Just looked your way and smiled at you?" When Max didn't reply, she went on. "You know that feeling, the butterflies in your stomach, the certainty that if that certain someone would only kiss you, you could die happy because you would have known true happiness?"

"I think I know what you mean," he replied cautiously.

"I've wanted to feel that way all my life," she said. "I had such high expectations for my first kiss with Tom, and my first kiss with Carter, that they both were disappointing in the end. They were nice but not quite the fireworks I had dreamed of. I know it's only because I've watched too many Hollywood movies and read too many romance novels, but..." she bit her lip and looked away. "I always thought that I would have felt that with you."

Max was stunned into silence. She had just described his most cherished dream.

"I know what it feels like to be overwhelmed with love for someone every time I look at my daughter. I know what it feels like to know that you would give your life for someone, without hesitation or regret. I guess in my adolescent fantasies, I assumed that I would also feel that way about the father of my child."

"But you don't."

Liz shook her head. "Do you feel that way about Tess? Like she is where your life begins and ends?"

Max shook his head. "No." It was a terrible thing to admit but he couldn't - wouldn't - lie to Liz about this.

Liz opened her mouth to ask him something, then closed it and looked away. Max squeezed the hand he was still holding across the table.

"But I always thought I would feel that way about you if we ever got together."

Liz turned wide eyes to him and he knew that it was the question she hadn't dared ask.

They looked at each other for a long moment before Liz broke the silence with a nervous giggle.

"I guess it's like what you said, the grass being greener. The only thing we have is the perfect fantasies of our high school days. Our reality probably wouldn't have been that amazing."

"I guess you're right," Max said, even though he didn't believe that for a second. To be with Liz would have been as glorious as his dreams, he knew that deep down in his bones.

Liz removed her hand from Max's grasp and wiped her eyes. "I love Carter," she said again. "You and I, it never happened. Maybe it was for the best. I mean, there had to be a reason for that."

Max hung his head. He knew the reason.

"There's no point in wallowing in regrets, is there?" She put on a smile. "We can always be friends. Would you like that, Max? To rekindle our friendship?"

Max wondered if it would have been possible to be just friends with Liz Parker. He knew that since she was married and he was with Tess, things would never have progressed between them, at least not physically. But how long before their respective significant others realized how important the other was to them? How long before getting to know Liz but never being able to have her destroyed him and he did something drastic?

"There's nothing I would love more, Liz," Max said honestly. "But I'm afraid it might be a little complicated."

Liz raised her chin, her eyes stubborn. "Why? Because of Carter and Tess?"

Max shook his head. "No. Tess has no say in who I'm friends with. I just meant, I won't be in Roswell much longer so we won't be able to visit when you come to town."

Liz smiled. "That's what email is for, Max."

Max returned her smile, his rueful. "I might be out of reach for quite a while."

Liz was confused. "You sound so... definite. You're not going to jail are you?"

A corner of Max's mouth lifted despite himself. Antar might as well be a jail. He wasn't going there of his own free will. His smile died and he shook his head.

"In this day and age, where on Earth are you going that you can't be reached by email?" she wondered aloud.

Suddenly she blanched and grabbed his hand over the table.

"You're not... you're not thinking about killing yourself, are you?" she asked in a whisper.

Max's eyes widened. "No! Where did you get an idea like that?"

"I don't know. You just sound so serious, so adamant that you won't be reached. And you do look sad, Max."

"I guess I am a little sad," Max agreed. "But I won't kill myself." He debated what to tell her to make her understand that he wasn't avoiding her. He didn't want to lie to her but he didn't think she would accept the truth right now. Not when it was so unbelievable.

"It's more like going to war," he said after a moment. "I'm leaving Monday morning and I don't quite know the circumstances of where I'll end up. I just know there is a very real chance I might not come back." His voice broke on the last word. It had finally sunk in that the moment he had dreaded all his life was inescapably here. He would leave Earth and everything he had ever known for a most uncertain future in another galaxy.

Liz squeezed his hand. "Where are they sending you? Is it the military?"

Max shook his head. "I can't tell you, Liz."

She nodded, understanding. "Some kind of special ops or something I suppose. Don't tell me, I don't want you to have to kill me," she tried to joke, but it fell flat. "Oh Max, I'm so sorry! Will you even be there for the birth of your child?"

Max shrugged. He supposed he would see the birth of his son. But if Liz thought he was in the military, it was probably better that she kept on believing that. Telling her that Tess was also coming would just confuse her.

She rubbed her hand up and down his arm. Max closed his eyes and tried to ignore the flashes that filled his mind, of her doing that to him in his bed, their naked bodies covered in sweat.

"So tonight is all we have," she said softly.

Max opened his eyes and looked at her, a promise burning in his amber gaze. "If I ever come back I swear I will find you again."

"I'll hold on to that," Liz said.

***

The waitress broke the moment when she came to clear their plates. Liz looked at Max for a moment, before she got up and reached out her hand to him.

"Would you dance with me?" she asked.

Max took her hand in his. "I would love to," he said, following her to the dance floor. When they reached the middle of the room, he put his arms around her and she rested her head on his chest as though they had done it a million times before. He tightened his arms around her waist and rested his cheek against her hair, breathing her in. Oh, how he had dreamt of that moment!

They danced lost inside each other for a long time. The songs seamlessly flowed into one another but they hardly noticed. Other couples danced around them but they didn't see them. Max and Liz were lost inside their own little world. Nothing had ever felt this right.

***

Finally, the music stopped and they had to return to their table. Liz looked at him, her big brown eyes filled with something he couldn't quite read.

"How is it possible," she asked in a quiet tone, "that this moment with you exceeded even my most unrealistic expectations?"

Max met her eyes. He took a strand of her long brown hair and put it back behind her ear. He couldn't lie to her, to himself; not anymore. "Because I think we were meant to be," he said softly. "Something went wrong somewhere, but soul mates know nothing of unrealistic expectations."

She nodded, her eyes filling with tears. "And this moment is all we are ever going to get? You are what I looked for all my life. This isn't fair."

He rested his forehead against hers. "Life ain't fair, sweet Liz."

She closed the distance between them but Max knew that if he kissed her now there was no turning back. If he kissed her, he would have to love her, make her his like she was meant to be, despite Tess, despite Carter, despite a whole planet that was waiting for him to return it to its past glory. Despite a little baby girl who would live in a broken home.

So he pulled back slowly, closing his eyes against the hurt he could see in hers.

"I better get going before we do something we would both regret."

She held on to him, her hands around his shoulders. "I could never regret it, Max." Against his better judgment, he opened his eyes and looked into hers. He could tell that she was telling the truth. He also knew that he could never regret this either. It was what was meant to be, what he had longed for his whole life.

"I will cherish this dance until the day I die," he vowed. His fingers lightly grazed her cheek. "I'm so sorry, but this is the way it'll have to be."

He turned away from her abruptly. He was both glad and disappointed when she didn't come after him. He hurried to the door, leaving enough money to cover the meal and a cab for Liz with the cashier at the front desk. He stepped into the cool night air.

He didn't look back.

***

Max knew that Isabel was expecting him at home with their parents. He knew that Tess would wonder where he was. But as he sped down the highway toward the desert, he didn't care about any of that. The tears running down his cheeks blurred his vision and made driving downright dangerous but he didn't care about that either. Maybe Liz had had the right idea. Maybe suicide was the way to go. What did he have to live for anyway? His life was not his own. He was expected to leave the only world he had ever known to rule another he had never cared about. He was supposed to raise a child with a woman he had thought he loved but now realized he never could. There had been more passion in his short dance with Liz then in years of making love to Tess. Would he go as far as resent his son because he wasn't Liz's, because he wouldn't look like the little baby girl who had stolen his heart almost as quickly as her mother had?

He slammed on the brakes and the Jeep slid onto the desert sand. He beat the steering wheels with his fists until they bled.

Max Evans sat in his Jeep on the side of the road and let the tears come. He cried for his shattered dream of ever being with Liz. He cried for how his life was ripped from his control as a teenager, how he had never chosen who he wanted to become, what he wanted to do, who he wanted to be with. He cried for how this unfair destiny was thrust upon him with little regard for his heart's desires.

When there were no more tears, he cried again. He sobbed until his eyes ached, until the dull throbbing in his head made his heart leap in his throat. He stared at the cold, harsh stars that would never truly be his home and cursed them. He cursed them for sending him here. He cursed fate for bringing Liz to him without letting them be together.

He got out of the Jeep and stood on the desert floor. Years of frustration, of destroyed hopes built up in his throat and he let it all out in a blood curling scream. Anger built inside him and he welcomed it. He screamed until his voice broke. He fell to his knees on the hard desert ground, breathing hard.

Didn't he deserve something to make up for all he had given up? Didn't fate owe him that much? This was all but his last night on Earth. For the first time in his life, Max Evans would do what he wanted to do.

Part 3

Go back to the fanfiction index