My thoughts on Departure

But first...

I can't quite put how I feel about it into words just yet, but I wrote this little fic of how I think it should have ended. It takes care of a couple of things I had a problem with. I haven't had time to make sense of it all yet, but I have A LOT of unanswered questions.

Keep in mind that I haven't slept for days and that I wrote this very quickly, so please excuse any mistakes that are bound to be in there. Hope you'll like it.

Oh btw, I need to improve my vocabulary of insults... I couldn't find the right words to yell at Tess last night, so I had to resort to throwing things at the TV. Can anyone help out? ;P

So here it is. No title.

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The teens watched in wonder as the Granilith made its way to the atmosphere. Suddenly, a bright flash of light made them shield their eyes. It was followed by the sound of an explosion.

When they looked up at the sky again, they saw that it was clouded by the debris of the Granilith. Thousands and thousands of little pieces of the device were floating in the air, making their way to the ground. Thousands and thousands of little pieces of Tess were doing the same.

A strong wind picked up just then, and the cloud of debris started moving north. 'That wind will blow the pieces all the way to Las Cruces,' Liz thought. How fitting.

She turned to look at Max. She noticed unshed tears in his eyes. He couldn't possibly be crying for Tess, could he?

He noticed her looking at him. "He was my son too," he whispered.

Liz put her hand on his shoulder. "But he was half hers. He would have been half part of what killed Alex." She hesitated before adding "And he wasn't exactly conceived out of love, was he?"

He smiled sadly at her. "No. He wasn't." They were both silent for a moment.

"You'll have other children, Max," she said softly. "We'll have other children."

He took her face in his hands and looked intently into her eyes.

"I've been wrong a lot lately. But I was right about one thing: to have you in my life, to be around you. To love you." She smiled at him and hugged him close.

After a moment, Isabel broke the silence.

"So what happens now, Max?"

He thought for a moment. He stared at the faces that were looking back at him expectantly. A thought came to him. He smiled sheepishly.

"Now, we have to get a new Jeep."

And now for the actual review and speculations...

...only about, what, 3 weeks late?

I hate moving.

Ok, I had some time to think about it and analyse it somewhat and here's what I came up with. When I went to bed after watching the episode I was disappointed. When I got up the next morning, I was just plain mad! At Tess mostly (and at Jason Katims, but more about that later!) so I wrote this little thing in which she explodes and I felt a little better. But I was still a bit disappointed and I think I've figured out why. Alien baby.

I've been catching up on spoilers and now I have the proof they're evil! Had I known about the "mind-warp on Max" spoiler, I would have been even more disappointed when it didn't happen. I had hoped that's what it was, but to know that spoilers actually said it was would have made it harder that it wasn't. (If my grammar makes any sense to you... :P) Though I still have hope that maybe it was all a mindwarp. But that's for the speculations part!

I was hoping so much that she was making it up, I can't believe TPTB would do that to us. I know it's great for the storyline and character development, but it just sucks. Don't get me wrong, as a viewer and fan of the storyline, and as someone who has delusions about being a writer, I love it. It's great, it's interesting, and I can't wait to see how they deal with it. As a Dreamer, and someone who wanted Max and Liz's love to remain pure, I hate it. I hate the idea that it will always be between them from now on. Even if they forgive each other (which they will) and themselves (which might be a bit harder) they will never forget. There's this whole "Max-is-a-jerk" opinion from people all over the Roswell boards these days, but I don't agree with them. I am in no way mad at the characters, I don't blame Max and/or Liz for what happened. I think they reacted the way they were supposed to to everything. I'm mad at whoever had the brilliant idea of having Max & the-4-letter-word-that-rhymes-with-mess sleep together. I wanted M&L to be with each other and each other only. And the fact that we know it would have happened in an alternate timeline makes it all the more depressing.

That being said, there are more things I liked than disliked in the episode (so what is it exactly that I'm complaining about? :p)

My favorite dreamer scene is not the reunion at the end. It felt a bit rushed. To me, it felt like the writers thought "well, we might be cancelled, we have to get some kind of M&L reunion in there or we'll get flooded with strawberry applesauce again". To borrow Carrie's words (you are always so eloquent, my friend!) "I got my Max and Liz reunion. But it wasn't all that I had hoped. He told her he made mistakes and he wanted to be with her. They held hands. And then they seemed to slip into a normalcy. It just didn't have that zest it used to. Hopefully, that'll clear up when the new season starts. It just seemed too 'ho-hum'"

I had hoped for the same kind of gut reaction I have for every other great dreamer scene and it didn't happen for this one. You know, the good feeling you get when you hear "It was you" or "You're my dreamgirl, Liz" or "If I don't go right now things are gonna change" or... you get the picture! I wanted something that would tear me up inside (in a positive way) as much as the heartbreak of scenes like the last one in Destiny or the wedding dance did in a negative way. And the reunion just wasn't up there with all the rest of the great dreamer moments.

So my favourite dreamer scene is the one in the Jeep. It was perfect in everyway. And it got the strongest reaction from me. I was a mess, once again. (God, what is this show doing to me?) Max telling Liz that he always thought he would give her his ring once he graduated, and the realization that he wasn't going to graduate made me think that maybe that's when he realized also that he had always thought that Liz would come with him when he left. Him giving her the necklace was sweet – something to remember him by (I was wondering what had happened to it) Her reaction to it was great "I can't believe this is all I have of you" when she knows all that she *would* have had. Sigh. Max only had his dreams, the "part he was hoping for". She actually knows. I think on some level they both believed that they would be back together and they were just realizing that it wouldn't be.

Though he promised not to ask again, he did, and she finally told him the truth that she didn't sleep with Kyle (she had no choice, really, she let it slip earlier on). I think he'll feel guilty for a long time that he actually believed the lie – not that he should blame himself. That kiss was perfect. Was anyone else hoping for a flash of Future Max? That's one thing I'm not happy with. I wish Max found out about FM. The one thing I'm afraid of is that he'll find out over the summer and we won't get to see his reaction. That would suck, big.

But anyway. Liz asking if he loved Tess was heartbreaking (though the most heartbreaking moment between Max and Liz in my opinion is when she points "up north" and asks "back?" *sob*) Max's answer was perfect. What else could he have told her? I mean, no, he doesn't love Tess, but she is carrying his child and he's leaving the planet to be with them. He would have been a jerk to tell Liz "no, you're the one I love, but see, this is what I have to do". It would also have been wrong of him to declare his love to her in some grand manner. But he couldn't flat out lie to her and tell her he didn't love Liz, so "not like I love you" is perfect. He didn't say "not AS MUCH", which would have implied he loved Tess at all, he said "not LIKE" which could mean he has affection for Tess (which at that point he probably did) but not necessarily love.

Liz walks away, and Max puts on his brave face and smiles, though you can see in his eyes he's seconds away from breaking down, and he does just that as soon as she's out of sight. Give Jason Behr an Emmy already. I think that's what hit Max the hardest. He said goodbye to his parents, to Michael, to Valenti and none of it affected him as much as giving up Liz. Sigh.

Ok, on to the speculations!

I'm so glad Alex was back. God, I'll miss him! There are no words to describe how much I hate Tess right now. How could she? (I feel Val-the-cave-woman coming back! Arghh... grrr! I actually hate her more than the WB execs, how's that? :P) She planned it all from the beginning, the b*tch!! For the past couple of weeks, I've gone over some of the things she said and did with the knowledge that she's a traitor and a cold-blooded killer and I hate her even more!!!

One of the loose end that bothered me most about the show this season was how did Nicholas survive in WipeOut! ? Looking back on it now, I believe that Tess mindwarped the other podsters to believe the Skins had blown up, while in effect she just covered them so they could leave. Nicholas must have known of the deal between Nasedo and Kivar, and knew that he couldn't kill Max before there was an heir. But they couldn't just walk away and say "oh, we don't feel like killing you now, we'll be back some other time". They needed a cover. Which Tess provided. Arrgh. Hopefully that warranty on their husks will expire before they can do more trouble!!

Some people suggested that maybe FM was all a mindwarp to get Liz to give Max up. I don't believe it is. I think the fact that we saw Future Liz and FM together at the beginning of the episode is proof that it actually happened.

Tess sent Alex to "Sweden" just when she came back from New York. Nicholas was in New York too. Maybe they decided to put the plan into action then. That's when most people started to trust her, because she said she wanted to go "home to Roswell". Mmph! I'm not sure how the Dupes fit in there though. But Lonnie wanted to go home at any cost, so they might be in on it too, who knows. Though if she was, she wouldn't have tried to kill Max. I don't know...

Some people were disappointed that the Granilith turned out to be a one-time rocket ship. Who says that it was? I mean, they did have a rocket, and they believed it to be the Granilith, because no one ever told them different. What if the rocket was just a part of the Granilith? What if the Granilith is still in the pod chamber? I read this theory that may seem farfetched but is absolutely fascinating. What if the Granilith (which the other aliens at the summit referred to as something similar to the Holy Grail, and of religious significance) was in Max the same way the Royal seal was etched on his brain? And here's the cool part, what if Max somehow transferred it to Liz when he healed her? That would make Liz the Granilith.

Ok. Alien baby not a mind-warp. It's obvious why Kivar wants Zan Jr; he wants him to rally Zan's followers to his cause by putting someone of true Royal blood on the throne. He'll be able to control him easily, junior being just a child, and with the help of the kid's evil mom.

Max really had no choice to send Tess back to Antar to save his son. I'm just curious how he plans to get him back, though. I know his dad's a lawyer, but how do you fight an intergalactic custody battle? *lol*

My personal hope: alien baby is a mind warp. Tess wasn't going to tell Max she made it all up when he seemed just about ready to kill her (and he probably would have. He was going to kill Leanna, remember – or was he being controlled by Tess? Liz did say that it wasn't like him... oh, the evil witch!!!!). Anyway. She wasn't going to tell him now that the whole thing was fake. I guess she figured she'd get better odds going home. Maybe Kivar will kill her. Maybe not. Maybe they're related or something (I've read a lot of fanfics lately!) or maybe there's more to the deal than we know.

Which brings me to Nasedo. I never really trusted him, he kinda creeped me out, but I did believe he had the best interests of the Royal 4 at heart. Traitor. He was killed by Skins though, which raises a few questions. Did the other Skins know about the deal? Is Nasedo really dead? Is there a deal or did Tess make it all up? Let's says she did make it up. Why? Max was going to kill her. She needed to convince him that there *was* a baby.

Ok. My mind is spinning now. Change of subject.

So Maria gets flashes now. I guess that destroys the theory that only Liz gets them because Max healed her/connected with he. Don't get me wrong, it's cool that she gets them, I was just going with the "Liz has been changed" theory for that one. A review I read said that in Michael's eyes, Maria looks like Olivia Newton-John in Xanadu. And she does!! *lol* Or am I the only one old enough to remember that...?

I like that Michael decided to stay. "You of all people" is actually my favorite line in this episode.

I probably have more to say, but I will have mercy on you and shut up now!! If you're still reading this, thank you and sorry for the extra long post...

See you all later!

Valerie