My thoughts on Graduation

It's taking me a little longer writing this review because I still have trouble separating my feelings about the episode from my feelings about the show ending.

About the end of the show, I am absolutely heartbroken. There was actually a point somewhere in the middle of Jim and Kyle's last conversation where I wished there was something I could physically do to stop time and prevent the show from ending. Sigh.

I saw it on Sunday with the nice people at the Philly party. I had reservations about seeing for the first time in public and even (very briefly) considered leaving before it was shown, but we all know I could never do that ;) And seeing it in public with a bunch of people who *care* and who *get it* is different than seeing it with casual viewers who don't understand why you get so upset. The whole room was in tears, even the guys were choked up. It was actually nice to see it with a crowd after all. Emotional support or whatever. I couldn't speak for a long time after watching it. I was in a daze.

So I'm trying to handle this whole cancellation thing "with grace and aplomb" but I'm only half-succeeding. At least no one at the office asked who died yet.

Jason Katims said that he listened to what the fans wanted when he sat down to write this episode. I wonder if he read any fanfic? Because a lot of things I read in fanfic were in this episode, like Max and Liz having to admit in front of everybody that they were "touching... people". Giggle.

Let me just say right now what my biggest disappointment is and get it out of the way. We never got to see Liz explain to Max why she pretended to sleep with Kyle. I guess we are to assume that she did tell him but I feel cheated that we didn't get to see his reaction. To me, the whole thing with Future Max is a major deal, it's what took the storyline in the direction it went, alien baby (sorry, human baby) and all, and I feel we deserved to see Max get his very deserved explanation. So thank God for talented fanfic writers. And for that missing scene from Departure. Sigh. I guess I'll get over it in time. And I'm aware that not everyone is bothered by this. Fred, whom I met at the Philly party, has a problem with the way the Dupes storyline was dropped last season. I don't. So to each their own, I guess.

"It's wrong to benefit from someone's passing." Yeah, I guess, in theory. But go ahead, Liz, do the little dance of joy, I certainly won't stop you! *lol*

"It's a brand new day, full of possibilities and hope." Sigh. If only it was true.

Liz is having visions! Yay! That's a neat power that could come in handy. And they seem to be clearer than Isabel's visions,too. Ah, so many possibilities introduced so late.

The copy we saw in Philly was a rough cut and not all the effects were added in yet. When they are in the alley and the bad guy pulls out a gun, the message "REMOVE WIRE" flashed on screen. It was pretty funny. Just thought I'd share that.

How can that video tape survive the Tess explosion? Grrr. We can't even count on her to do that right. Yes, I still hate Tess. Seeing the future of Michael and Maria is beyond Liz's capabilities *lol*

Kyle: "I gotta do something with my life". Why is it that when I say things like that, it's never funny and Kyle is? I will SO miss Kyle.

The bad government people are in the Sultan's Hideaway motel from 285 South. Giggle. So that means they are somewhere halfway between Roswell and Marathon, Texas. Just thinking out loud. This is the last time I get to do this, after all ;)

No, bad government people, Isabel is not a "thing". Don't judge all aliens based on Tess. They're not "all the same, you know."

Max and Liz making out!! Yay!! I'll take all of that I can while I can, thank you very much. "You college girls" "We want to be loved for our minds, not our bodies." Giggle. "Your future looks really, really bright". That is, except for the part you die. I know we went through all that Panacea/Max is dead thing, but it's still not one bit of fun to watch Max with blood coming out of his mouth and his eyes open, dead. Shudder. Yes, I do take this very seriously.

"Where do we get popped, when do we get popped, who pops us?" is one of the line that got a big reaction from the crowd in Philly. It was a great line, too. There were a lot of great lines in this episode.

"You will attempt to achieve another flash?" "Seems like the thing to do". Giggle. I absolutely LOVED Max's expression there. *lol*

Hey! It's Madam Vivian! Hi! *wave* I realize she's just a character, but I did the same thing whenever she showed up on "Once and Again", and she wasn't even Madam Vivian then.

"Believe in the love." Gosh, that expression on Michael's face is too funny. "I don't know what that means." "I know you don't." Giggle. Michael, clueless until the end. He's too cute. And yes, I did just write that ;)

But I might have to take it back. Doesn't he know better than to use his powers in PUBLIC?!!! Argh. I believe we did go over that before, Spaceboy.

More Max and Liz making out!!!! "It's a tough job." I DON'T CARE!!! I want this job!! Where do I sign up? I met this Dreamer guy in Philly who wouldn't mind taking care of Liz while I keep Max busy (it's was funny, he was actually telling Max to get away from his girl while watching the make-out scene of FAAB – and all that time I thought it was just us girls. Giggle.)

Max is a guy after all, isn't he? ;) Liz is having all these questions about the fact that she's becoming an alien and Max is all "yeah, yeah, but we're together now" as if it solved everything. "Shut up and make out with me" would be the subtext here. Giggle. Though I understand he was mildly distracted. I'm actually torn between slapping him for being so insensitive and slapping her for having the chance to be kissing him and still be wasting her time worrying about this silly life-changing experience that is turning into an alien :P

Max has definitely and officially given up the throne. He never really wanted it in the first place, so GO Max :)

I know that after the ending, this question is not relevant anymore, but when they said they should leave separately, Max and Liz were still leaving together, right?

"Crystal Ball, here." *lol* I like that. Must use that in a fic.

Jim, I know you only want what's best for your son, but we've known since the third episode that Kyle didn't want to be a cop. You might be projecting, here, Jimbo. And Kyle is right about everything he said.

Weren't Isabel and Jesse going to Boston anyway? Why does it come as such a surprise to Jesse?

Michael travels light and leaves all his Metallica CDs to Max. What he's really saying is "Maxwell, I'm not good at all this mushy stuff but if I leave you my most prized possession, you'll know you're still my brother." Sad sigh. "Maxwell, don't, because I can't." Whimper. *Take deep breaths, Valerie, it'll be okay.*

That picture the Feds had of Liz was taken when she and Max were playing mini-golf. How long have they been spying on them?

When they put all the "alien" pictures together, it just reminded me very strongly of the four-square symbol. Maybe Future Max was wrong all along, and the complete unit included Liz, not Tess.

Michael, acting in typical Michael fashion: this whole stupid story was screwed up from the very beginning, from the moment I kidnapped you and stole your car. *smile* That's kinda sweet, in a Michael kinda way. "Wherever I'm going, whatever I'm doing, just know I'll always love you." And he leaves. Just like that. Poor Maria. *sniffle* Oh crap. When Michael Guerin can make me cry, I know I'm in deep trouble.

You know, "The Grapes of Wrath" is my favourite book of all time. Really, it is. Tom Joad is one of my favourite characters. How much do I love the reference here? Yep. That much :)

"It's a trick I learned from Superman." Another subtle Smallville reference? I read somewhere that they had a scene at the Crashdown that went something like this:

Customer: Miss, do you recommend the Smallville salad?
Liz: No, I can't honestly recommend that.
Customer: Okay, then, I'll have a Roswell burrito.
Liz: Good choice. You know, after tonight, we're taking it off the menu.
Customer: Really? Why? I've enjoyed the Roswell burrito here for the past three years.
Liz: Yes, but it didn't sell very well.

I don't know how much truth there is to that, but I thought it was funny. Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled program.

-"I can't do it without you." – "I would do anything if it means being with you." Dreamer sigh. Of course, we've known this all along. But doesn't it feel nice to hear them say so? *little dreamer dance of joy*

Even though I kinda expected it from what he did with the charcoal (I did see Superman after all), when Max got down on his knees I was ecstatic and got little happy chills running down my spine :)

From Skye: "Okay the only thing I could think of when I saw Max propose to Liz (well aside from AAAWWWWNNNESS) was, "Dang, Valerie's gonna be happy." "

You got that right, Skye!! (But why on Earth would you be thinking of my reaction in a moment like this? ;) *lol* ) I did the Dreamer dance of joy (well, not the first time I saw it, I *was* in public after all). And I had little tears of happiness. We've been through so much!! We deserved a beautiful marriage proposal, and we got one! *dance*

"I feel like the luckiest half-human on the planet/We'll take these 12 days and we'll live 12 lifetimes." Sigh. Everything I ever hoped for :) And when he said, "Liz Parker. (notice the little pause and little smirk here) Will you marry me?" I couldn't help but wonder exactly how many times Max Evans practiced this in front of his mirror since he was 8 years old. There was no doubt she would say yes, but Max still had this little look of worry for a second there. And when she did say yes, the whole room started clapping and I was a very happy dreamer indeed. :)

And I still am, even though I read on the boards that the scene originally went on a little longer. Here it is for those who might have missed it:

He proposes
She looks at him, considers for a long time, then tears well.
Liz: I . . . yes.
they kiss.
Max: Right after graduation.
Liz: Okay.
She nods, tears, now falling. They kiss. They hold each other as never before. As they lower themselves to the blanket.
Max: Sure you don't want to wait? Tomorrow we'll be married.
They are laying together now.
Liz: Judging from the way things happen around here, I think we'd better just seize the moment while we can.
They fold into each other, kiss, it's tender, it's sexy, it's everything anyone could have imagined.
Move in on Liz, cue music:
FLASH FLASH, we see Liz have a series of romantic flashes spanning Max and Liz's relationship.
Max: Flashes?
Liz: Good Ones.
And they continue to make love we pull back and we Dissolve To Graduation Day

So we were supposed to see the cementing and we DIDN'T?!!? *Valerie taking deep breaths, trying to calm down* Okay... Hell, we had to sit through Max and T%$$ and now they cut this, why? Because of time? I mean, there must be a minute of stuff that we could trade for a little cementing, right? Anything? How about those Feds no one cared about? Darn it. This is so unfair. *pouts* My only consolation comes from the fact that a talented fic writer out there will take this scene and write a beautiful story out of it, that will be a lot more detailed than anything we could have seen on television. ;) I just hope I find it. But I still wish we could have seen some Behr-chest. Sigh.

Oh my God. That look Max and Liz gave each other at graduation. That "look-into-my-eyes/soulmate/I-wanted-so-much-to-marry-you-but-now-we'll-get-killed/I'll-love-you-forever" look. It just broke my heart. Whimper.

This didn't bother me when I first saw the episode, but now I wonder, why doesn't anyone stop Max when he comes on stage? I mean, shouldn't the Principal get up and say "Mr. Evans, go back to your seat" or something? Students can just stop someone's speech for no reason?

When he said they were there to say goodbye, it was just too sad. Can you tell I was *really* crying by that point?

Did anyone notice Aaron Behr sitting behind Isabel? He doesn't look much like his brother, but he's cute anyway. :)

The fact that I was actually sad to see Isabel give Jesse her wedding ring back just shows how powerful this whole scene was. Me, who have been telling Jesse to get lost for most of the season, actually felt sad for him. And they say this show is bad.

Did the writers or Jason get the double meaning when they had Max say that he was an Outsider? ;) I can't help but find that very funny.

I love when he says "But that's not my problem anymore." You GO Max. Be yourself. Live your own life. Forget everyone's expectations and just make yourself happy. I guess that's really the message, here, isn't it? "I have to be who I really am and let fate take care of the rest." My God, Max, I think you've got it. I'm proud of you. Hugs.

Michael to the rescue!! Yay!!!! I guess he figured what "believe in the love" meant ;)

Winner of the best line, and it was tough because, as I said, we had some great ones, drum roll please! Kyle! "Soon I'll be buzzing and cracking like tin foil in a microwave and I'd just as soon be with my own kind when it happens" *lol* Followed by Michael's answer, "Does he really get to refer to us as his own kind?" Followed by Max's reaction. *lol* This scene was just too great for words.

"So now we're six." For those keeping track, the very last words we heard Max Evans say. Sigh.

"Like I said, we're gonna need a van." Giggle.

I felt bad for Jesse again. Don't you hate it when that happens? ;) But I think Isabel made the right choice. I wonder how long they'll wait for each other before they move on.

The scene between Jim and Kyle is probably the most heartbreaking one of all. I cannot watch this one without crying, still, and I've watched it quite a few times (I'd like to be tear-free when I watch it with some people, or they'll call the men in white and have them put me in the padded room, so I watch it often to try to be numb to it. So far, it's not working.) The room cheered when we saw the Sheriff was going to be Sheriff again. *dance of joy* Yay!!! Good thing we never stopped calling him `Sheriff' ;) He gave the Feds an anonymous tip. Giggle. I wouldn't expect anything less from Jim Valenti. He's the frickin' man! It's so sad when he tells Kyle, "Then you'll be on your own. Really on you own." Whimper. "Thanks." "It's the least I could do" and he's all choked up. *sob* I can't even write about it. Gosh. What is this show doing to me?

Oh, and then Jeff Parker. I'm so sorry, Mr. Parker. Here's a hug for you. But at least now you know the truth.

The Dreamer wedding. The real deal, not the alternate-future-flash. Yay!!! Much better location than the Elvis chapel, if I may say so. I loved Liz's dress and hair. I want a dress like that at the wedding I'll never have. I also want the groom to look like that, please! :)

And this is the very last Max and Liz kiss we'll ever get to see. This is just too bittersweet.

I don't know if it's just me, but when I heard those words, I didn't hear Liz talking to her Dad through her journal; I heard Jason Katims and the rest of the writing staff talking to us through Liz: "So that's the end. Our life in Roswell. What a strange trip it's been. Will we ever go back? I don't know. Even I can't see everything in the future. All I know is that I'm Liz Parker, and I'm happy." Damn it. I'm crying again.

I loved how the journal entries book-ended the series. It might have been a nice touch to have her say "I'm Liz Parker-Evans", but maybe she didn't change her name ;) Anyway, it was beautiful. Just beautiful. And if Liz is happy, then Max is happy, then I'm happy too.

I meant to say in my review of Crash, but I forgot, that that particular episode reminded me of "The Fugitive" or "Starman", when the people who are running away from something are helping random strangers along the way. I have a feeling this is what the future of Roswell would be like. Doing random acts of kindness while staying one step ahead of the bad guys. And be on some sort of quest. They'd have to be looking for something, they're always looking for something in those shows. But I digress. It's not important anymore.

This might come as a shock to some of you, but I don't think I want them to do more Roswell. Let me explain; it's like Liz said: "If that's something you seriously think you could or would do then fine, we'll talk about it. But otherwise please don't put me through the whole emotional roller-coaster." I don't think I can take much more of this. I am lost in the alien abyss. It is just a TV show after all. (Or so I try to convince myself. I have to keep repeating that, because I don't think stupider words have ever been spoken ;) )

So this is it for me today. Thanks to those who read those little reviews of mine. I hope you enjoyed them, got a giggle or two out of them and that I didn't annoy you too much. :)

I'll still be around! I hope you will too!

Valerie