The Moon or the Sun

Category: Max and Liz
Rating: Suitable for ages 13 and over

Summary: Max wants answers, and he’ll go just about anywhere to get them!
Spoilers: The End of the World
This takes place after Christmas. Very minor spoiler for the Christmas episode.

Author’s note: The name of the cards and their general meaning come from a real book. I made up the rest!

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“I can’t believe she talked me into this,” Max muttered to himself as he pushed open the door and walked into the dimly lit room. He took a quick look around. The room was crowded with various esoteric objects. There was stuff everywhere; on the walls, on the tables, on the windowsill. The bookshelf looked as if it was about to crumble under the weight. But there was no one in sight.

He felt stupid for letting Maria convince him to do this. There was no point in being here. Maybe he could still get out without being noticed. His hand was already on the door knob when a voice startled him.

“Well, you made it this far. You might as well stay.”

He silently cursed himself and turned to face the woman who had spoken.

“Um… I was just… My friend…” he stuttered.

“I know,” she said seriously. When she saw the stunned look on his face, she laughed. “It says ‘psychic’ on the door for a reason,” she told him mischievously.

It took him a second to realize she was joking. He gave her a small smile and just stood there, his hand still on the door.

“Why don’t we get started?” she said with a smile. She led him into a smaller room. A table and two chairs stood in the middle of it. She indicated the chair closest to the door. Max took a seat while she walked around the table to sit across from him. He took a look around the room. It wasn’t as crowded as the other one. A piano stood on his left, but that was about it. He turned his attention back to the psychic. She seemed to belong in the previous room more than she did in this one. Her attire was anything but simple. A large gold and silver necklace matched the biggest earrings Max had ever seen. Her clothes were dark, but colourful scarves brightened it up. She appeared to be a jolly, pleasant woman. Max could see why people in general, Maria and her mother in particular, trusted her.

Madame Vivian took out her tarot cards and asked him to split the pack in two piles. Max extended his right hand but she stopped him.

“You have to use your left hand, dear. Left is the side of your heart.” Max hesitated slightly, but cut the cards with his left hand. Madame Vivian took the cards and started displaying them on the table.

“May I say you have quite a complex destiny? I’ve only seen the cards fall like this once before…” She paused for a moment, as if trying to remember when that had been. She went on. “The friend who told you to come here… that’s her card,” she said, pointing to the Queen of Cups. “She’s a good friend, trying to get you in touch with your inner life and knowledge. She knows things you don’t and wants you to find the truth for yourself.”

It sounded like Maria all right, but it could have been anyone. Max wasn’t convinced. He started to wonder again if it was a mistake to come here. He was starting to feel self-conscious. He could just hear what the others would say: how could level-headed, reasonable Max be desperate enough to let Maria talk him into seeing a psychic? It should have never come to this.

She pointed to the second card. “That’s the Moon. It means that you are going through a very tough time. You are confused. Things you thought were built in stone are falling apart around you and you can’t put your finger on why.” Max raised his eyes from the cards to look at Madame Vivian, but didn’t say anything. “But you won’t give up hope.” He held her gaze a little longer and looked back down.

“What’s this card?” he asked.

“That’s the Queen of Wands.” She caught his look. “I know it sounds silly, but it’s actually a very good card. She’s the woman in your life. She’s very generous and full of life. She’s your true love.”

Max didn’t look up and kept silent. The psychic pointed to the next card. “That’s what she’s been through.” That got Max’s attention.

“And what is that?”

“That’s the Five of Cups,” she answered gravely. “It means that she had to do something she didn’t want to do, betray someone… someone very close to her.” She looked at Max but he stubbornly looked down at the cards. “She feels remorse and sadness for what she had to do, even though deep down she knows it was for the best.”

Max looked as if he had been stung. “For the best?!” he almost spat at her.

“You see the card next to it?” she asked gently. Max glanced down. On the card was a picture of a man hanging by the neck. He looked back at Madame Vivian, pain still in his eyes.

“This card indicates something that has to be sacrificed for the greater good. She did what she did out of love.”

Max exhaled sharply and said nothing.

Madame Vivian continued. “This card is Justice. It means you are seeking the truth.” Max looked at her, unimpressed. “I know I may be stating the obvious,” she said with a small smile. “I’m just reading the cards. Shall I continue?”

Max shrugged but kept looking at her.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Now, these two cards together… that’s very interesting… This one is the Lovers. It may indicate that there are two potential mates for you. Which is strange, considering how clearly your true love is indicated by the Queen of Wands…” She was speaking very softly now, almost as if she was thinking out loud. Max leaned in a little closer to hear what she was saying. “The second card is the Wheel of Fortune. It indicates the beginning and the end of your destiny.”

Max looked at her, waiting for her explanation. She looked a bit embarrassed.

“That’s never happened before… I don’t quite know what to make of it… Here, pick a card.” She held the rest of the pack out to him. Max hesitated between two cards, then picked one, making sure to use his left hand. It was the Six of Cups. Madame Vivian smiled.

“Ah, there we go. Now it makes sense. Your true love triumphs. Promises made in the past are coming back to the surface. They will be strengthened by what you’ve both been through. It will give you serenity.” She looked at him. “You hesitated. Let’s see what the other card would have been.”

She picked the card Max had briefly considered and then looked at him with a smile. “That’s the Eight of Cups. It means you would have had to let go.”

Max felt relieved, then he felt a bit silly. When had he started believing in all that mumbo-jumbo? Madame Vivian gave him a knowing smile, as if reading his thoughts.

“Don’t disregard knowledge just because you can’t understand where it’s coming from,” she told him. She was looking at him as if she could see through him. He didn’t really like the feeling.

“What are the last two cards?” Max said, trying to get the focus back on something else.

“This one is the Chariot. It means conflict. Personal conflicts with someone you used to feel close to… but also a much bigger conflict.” She seemed lost for a moment. “Did I mention your destiny is complicated?”

Max gave her a look that said “tell me about it”. He nodded. “Yes, you did.”

“But it’s not all bad. Your last card is the Sun. It brings light. It will guide you in understanding the truth you are seeking.”

She looked at him and nodded once, as if to say “there you have it”. She started to pick the cards up.

“That’s it?” Max asked.

“Yes,” she answered.

“But that doesn’t tell me anything!” he protested.

“Oh, but it does,” the psychic answered mysteriously. “Think about it. Talk it over with your friend the Queen of Cups, the one who sent you here. You’ll figure it out eventually.”

When she saw that Max wasn’t moving, she got up. “If you will excuse me, I have other customers,” she reminded him gently.

“Ah.. yeah…” Max said. He got up and was starting to leave when Madame Vivian cleared her throat. He turned to face her.

“Oh, sorry…” he mumbled and got his wallet out of his back pocket. He paid the psychic and made his way through the strange esoteric room and out the front door. He climbed into his Jeep and started the drive back to Roswell.

What the psychic had told him replayed in his mind while he was driving. It was easy to figure out the conflict part and the two potential mates. But the image he kept seeing was the one of the man hanging. What Liz had to go through, what she sacrificed for a greater good. He tried to rationalize it. Liz slept with Kyle, thus betraying him and sacrificing true love for the greater good of…what? A roll in the hay with her ex-boyfriend? No. That couldn’t be it. It had to be something more. Liz would sacrifice a lot for… what? Her family, yes. Her friends, surely. She had put her own life in danger for them more times then he cared to remember. She would give up anything to make sure they were safe, to make sure he was safe…

And then it hit him. She had sacrificed their true love… for her true love.

A loud honk brought him back to the present and he realized he had drifted onto the other lane. He quickly swerved back to his side of the road and kept going into the desert. He drove a little while longer until he couldn’t see the road behind him and stopped the Jeep. He got out and started pacing.

That had to be it. She had slept with Kyle so that he would let go of her and fulfil his stupid destiny. Things started to fall into place. That night he had first asked her out to the Gomez concert, she had been trying to set him up with Tess. But he had refused to let go.

Then later that night she had come to his room to tell him that she loved him but that she wouldn’t die for him. The words had cut through his soul like a knife. She had figured that if she told him she feared for her life then he would let her go. And he almost had, too. But he loved her. He just couldn’t help it. So maybe it had been a bit selfish of him, but he had refused to let her go even then. Because, like he had told her so many times before, he believed with his whole being that no matter what they went through, it was all worth it because they were together.

She knew he felt that way. So as a last resort she had turned to Kyle. She had found the one thing that could make him turn away from her. It had worked, for a short while anyway. But nothing could ever make him turn away from her completely. It had hurt like hell, but he always knew something just wasn’t right. He knew she wouldn’t do that to him unless there was a damn good reason. When you see into someone’s soul, there’s not a lot they can keep from you.

She had to know he would figure it out. She had to know that once the dust settled he would see right through it. Only one question remained. What made her do it in the first place? It had to be more than just his destiny. What could possibly be the greater good?

He got back in his Jeep and drove the rest of the way to Roswell. The events of the night of the concert played in his head over and over again. How he had been surprised to see she was already in bed. How he had stopped breathing when he had realized she wasn’t alone. How he felt like he had been punched in the stomach when he recognized Kyle and saw the guilty look on Liz’s face. He concentrated on the look on her face for a moment. Guilty, yes. Surprised, no. It was almost like she knew he was coming. It was like she knew he would be there and she had put on a show for him to see…

The Jeep’s tires screeched as he took a hard turn off the main street to the Sheriff’s house. It HAD been all a show! Somehow she knew he would be there and she had made sure he would catch them together. Come to think of it, he had only assumed that they had actually slept together. Sure, they had seemed cosy enough, but Liz and Kyle were friends, and friends were comfortable together, right?

His mind was racing as the first real hope he had felt in weeks started to take over his heart. She only had to make him believe that what he saw was true. She didn’t actually have to go through with it. But why do it at all? He just couldn’t figure that part out.

He stopped in front of the Sheriff’s house and ran to the door. He knocked furiously.

Tess opened the door. Max was taken aback. For a moment, he had forgotten that she lived there too.

“Max! What are you doing here?” she asked, obviously surprised to see him there at such a late hour.

“Actually, I came to see Kyle. Is he here?”

“Sure… just one second, I’ll go get him.” Tess looked at Max, concern showing on her face.

“Are you ok?” she asked.

“I just really need to speak to Kyle right now,” he answered.

“What’s going on?” Kyle said from behind Tess.

“We need to talk,” Max said, then started to walk out to the lawn, expecting Kyle to follow.

“Okay,” Kyle said, a bit confused. He caught up with Max.

“Why?” was Max’s only question.

“I don’t know why”, Kyle answered, understanding immediately what was on Max’s mind. Max looked at him with contempt.

“You mean to tell me she just came here and asked you to sleep with her and you didn’t bother to ask her why?”

“Oh, I asked why. She wouldn’t tell me.”

Max just stared at him for a second. That’s not the answer he had expected from Kyle. He let out a small laugh. “She really didn’t tell you, did she?”

“What did I just say? Evans, are you drunk again?”

“And you slept with her anyway?”

Kyle hesitated before answering. “Yeah. I mean, what guy wouldn’t?” ‘Oops, wrong answer’ he thought when he saw the look in Max’s eyes. Max raised his hand. Kyle tried to move away so he wouldn’t get hit.

“Whoa, man, what are you doing?” Kyle said frantically.

Max put his hand on Kyle’s arm and concentrated on making the connection. It happened very quickly.

*Am I taking my boxers off?
No! Undergarments stay on!
Right*

*I just want to make sure that I made it actually clear that we’re not gonna…
Consummate, I understand.*

*So Evans must have really pissed you off to get you to resort to something like this.
I told you I don’t really want to talk about why I’m doing this.*

“What the hell are you doing, let go of me!” Kyle exclaimed as he broke free of Max’s grip.

But Max had seen all he needed to see.

“You’re covering for her,” he realized. “She didn’t tell you what was going on, yet you’re covering for her because she asked you to.”

Kyle just looked at him.

“I’m sorry I was so hard on you, Kyle. You are a good friend.”

Kyle nodded. The seriousness of the moment made him uncomfortable. He smiled wryly. “You’re not getting all mushy on me, are you Max?”

Max smiled and shook his head.

“Don’t get too excited.” He turned towards his Jeep. “I better…”

“Yeah, go. I may not know exactly what‘s going on, but I know it’s killing her. ‘Everything that one does not share becomes a burden for the soul’”.

Max gave him a funny look but didn’t say anything. He got back in the Jeep and drove to the Crashdown. He was there in minutes.

He took a deep breath and climbed the ladder up to her balcony. This was it. The make-or-break moment. He thought about what the cards had said. Would he finally see the Sun, or would the Moon keep its hold on him?

Soon he was at Liz’s window. She was sleeping. He just looked at her for the longest time. She looked like an angel, so peaceful. He hated the thought of disrupting her slumbers. Then she moaned and a frown took over her beautiful features. She started to shake her head. She was talking in her sleep, but Max couldn’t hear her through the closed window.

He knocked on the window. She kept shaking her head and he could now hear muffled sounds. He knocked a bit harder.

She sat up suddenly and she gasped for air. “Max!” she screamed. She was trying to calm herself down when he knocked again.

She looked at the window, startled. “Max,” she said again.

“What are you doing here,” she asked after opening the window to let him in.

“I figured it out, Liz. I figured everything out. Well, almost everything. What made you do it? What was so important that you felt you had to sacrifice us?”

Liz took a few steps back and fell on the bed. “Who told you? Was it Maria?” She started to shake. “You were not supposed to know. I promised I would never tell…”

“No one told me. Maria made me go see that psychic, Madame Vivian?” Liz nodded. “She told me a bunch of things that didn’t make much sense to me at first, but once I started thinking about it, it all came together. You made me believe you and Kyle were together so I would turn away from you. But why, Liz? Why?”

Liz didn’t answer. She just looked at him with tears in her eyes.

“You had to know I would figure it out. You must have known I wouldn’t give up on us so easily.”

Her voice was very soft, barely above a whisper. “We had to try.”

He sighed and sat down on the bed next to her. He could see how this was affecting her, and it hurt him to see her so upset. But he had to know. For the sake of his own sanity, he had to know.

He reached tentatively and pushed a strand of hair off her face. “Who’s we?”

“You and I,” she answered without looking at him. Tears started to fall. She didn’t do anything to stop them.

“Oh, Max!” she cried as she buried her face in his chest.

“It’s okay, it’s okay… I’m here now, you’re not alone anymore,” he spoke softly in her ear as he hugged her tightly.

With them being so close for the first time in months, the connection was instantaneous. He felt all the pain, the sorrow and the loneliness she felt. He felt her soul being torn apart the way his had been when she saw him outside her window. He felt her sadness when he left her alone on the balcony after their dance.

He pulled back from her. “We never danced on your balcony…”

She looked at him. “No, you didn’t.”

He was confused. She put a finger on his lips to keep him silent. He kissed it tenderly.

“Last week, you told me you believed in me. Do you still?”

“Of course I do, Liz.” He cupped her face with his hand.

“Then just hold me tonight, and we’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

He had so many questions that needed an answer. But he had never been able to resist those eyes. And he was so happy just to be holding her again. For now, it was more than enough.

He nodded and let go of her just long enough to remove his jacket and his shoes. Then they laid on her bed and he put his arms around her. They just laid there in silence, relishing their closeness. A few minutes passed and Max spoke.

“Do you hear that?” he asked softly.

“Hear what?” she answered.

“Music…” he said. “A song. You don’t hear it?”

“No… what is it?”

“I don’t quite recognize it… ’Even if it’s a lie, Say it will be all right, And I shall believe…’ Do you know it?”

She looked at him, amazed at how easy it was for him to see through her. Had she really believe she could keep this whole thing a secret from him?

“’Please say honestly you won't give up on me, And I shall believe…’” she sang.

“You do hear it!”

“Actually, I was singing it to myself, in my head.” He started to ask something, but she stopped him with a kiss.

“Tomorrow, I promise.”

And they fell asleep. For the first time in weeks, there would be no nightmares to disrupt the sleep of Max Evans and Liz Parker.

The end

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