A Lesson in Sacrifice
Disclaimer: Some dialogue taken from Roswell episode #2-5 "The End of the World" written by Jason Katims.
Part 9
Back at the Evans house, Sam splashed cold water on his face.
“Max, my friend, you’re a mess,” he declared to the reflection of the boy who was staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Dark circles were visible under the teen’s eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. Unfortunately, there wasn’t any time to catch some sleep this morning. Max Evans had to be in school in less than 45 minutes.
Sam sighed and turned to look at Al, who had been uncharacteristically silent for a long time. He was staring at the handlink in his hand.
“Something on your mind?”
Al looked up from the small screen. “Something’s not adding up and I’m not sure what it is,” he said finally. “Something’s wrong.”
“A lot of things are wrong,” Sam remarked. “Anything specific?”
When the Observer didn’t answer, Sam insisted. “Al?”
“I’m trying to find out all I can about this girl, Tess.”
“You think Tess has something to do with the end of the world?”
“Ziggy has accessed some very top secret files. She believes they are from a faction of aliens on Earth who will help the space invaders when the time comes. Among other things, they list Michael Guerin as public enemy number 1.”
“And?”
“And they list a prominent member of Antar’s Royal family as a ‘great friend to the cause’. They call themselves the Universal Friendship League. Not the kind of friends I want to have.”
“But it doesn’t say that it is Tess,” Sam commented.
“Well, Max is dead and Michael is persona non gratis. Which leaves Isabel and Tess. Your pick.”
“You have a point, but still… maybe she’s working as a double agent or something. You know, trying to find out information to help hold off the invasion.” Sam didn’t sound very convincing, not even to himself.
“Maybe.” Al shrugged. “The files refer to something called “The Book of Destiny”. Do you have any idea what that could be?”
“None whatsoever. I’ll ask Liz, maybe she knows. Or better yet, I’ll ask Max.”
“You do that. In the meantime Ziggy and I will check on Tess. Make sure she’s not causing any trouble.”
*********
It was lunchtime. Sam went looking for Michael. They needed to have that talk, and the sooner the better. On his way to the cafeteria, he bumped into a very animated couple. He was about to apologize and be on his way when the girl stopped him.
“Geez, Max, where is it you’re going so determined?” she asked.
“Um.. I’m… looking for…” he stuttered.
“Liz?” the boy offered helpfully, nodding his head emphatically, daring Sam to say something different.
Sam eyed him curiously. “Um, no, actually, I’m looking for…”
The black-haired boy was shaking his head vigorously behind the girl’s back, stopping short when she turned to eye him suspiciously.
“… Michael,” Sam finished.
The boy sighed heavily and shook his head in resignation.
And the girl started. “You’re looking for Michael, uh? Well, he’s not here. He’s not in school today. And I believe if you were to go to his crummy apartment, you wouldn’t find him there either. No. If you’re looking for Michael today, I suggest that the best place to start is Courtney’s pants.”
“Uh… Courtney?”
“Yeah. That stupid excuse for a waitress. You don’t want to know where I found Michael last night.”
“Uh… no, I guess I don’t?” Sam said. The group made their way to a table by the far wall of the cafeteria.
“No, you don’t. You don’t want to know that I found him in Courtney’s apartment. Oh, and Courtney was also there. Did I mention she was wearing a towel?” the girl’s voice had raised in pitch and volume and a few people turned to look at her.
Noticing that her companion was about to say something, the girl raised a hand to shush him.
“Now, I know you’ve heard this story more than once since last night, and I’m grateful to you for being such a good friend.” The boy groaned. “But Max here needs to hear what a two-timing jerk his best friend really is.” She leaned closer to Sam and whispered, “Do you believe he used the “I-think-she’s-an-alien” excuse? Mmpph.”
Sam didn’t know how to answer that. Did these kids know that there actually were aliens in Roswell? He didn’t have time to really dwell on it though, for the girl had resumed her babbling.
“And I can’t believe that that psychic was right! A bit too optimistic, maybe. She actually gave us 48 hours, but she told me. She said he was very ‘volatile’.”
“You went to a psychic?” Sam asked amused.
“Yeah, we went, the three of us. Oh, don’t worry, you’ll marry Liz, it’s in the cards. For Alex and I, though, it’s a different story.”
Alex. Sam looked at the boy sitting across from him. Alex Whitman, who right now had less than six months to live.
“What did the psychic tell you?” he asked him.
Alex sighed wearily. “Well, she said I was a ‘good friend’. Can you believe that?”
“But you are,” Sam replied. He wasn’t sure why Alex was unhappy about that.
“Yeah, but I mean… Man, I know she’s your sister, but is Isabel really the kind of girl you want to be a ‘good friend’ to?”
Sam laughed. “No, I guess not.” Noticing Alex’s look, he stopped. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly.
“Oh, no, go ahead. What kind of a ‘good friend’ would Alex Charles Whitman be if he couldn’t take his friends having a good laugh at his expense?” he smiled.
Sam smiled back and turned his attention to the girl. She seemed to expect him to say something.
“Um.. “ he started. He realized Alex hadn’t mentioned her name. He didn’t think Al or Liz had, either.
“I’m sorry about Michael and Courtney,” he said.
“Thank you. You can never trust those aliens. Present company excluded, of course.”
So they knew.
“Do you think Courtney is one, too?” he asked, after a moment.
She sighed. “Michael seems to think so. He’s not my favourite person right now, but I don’t think he’d sink so low. He wouldn’t use that as his excuse to fool around with her if he didn’t think there was something to it. But enough about my love life. How’s my favourite mariachi singer?”
“You know about that?”
“Yeah, buddy. The whole school knows about that.”
Sam shook his head. ‘Poor Max’, he thought. ‘He’ll never live it down’.
“Did it work? I haven’t seen Liz much in the past couple of days.”
Sam nodded slowly. “Yes, I think she’s coming around…”
The girl smiled. “Great. It’s good to know the psychic was also right about the good stuff.”
******
Later that evening Sam met with Liz and Future Max in the girl’s room.
“Are we sure no one will walk in on us unexpectedly? I mean, it would not be good for them to see two Maxes,” Sam said.
“It’s safe. Maria’s working downstairs and I told her I needed to talk to you in private. She won’t let anyone come up here. She’s really happy that we’re making up.”
“Also, her parents are gone for the evening. No one will bother us. Trust me, I know,” Max added.
Liz turned to look at him.
“How do you know that?”
“I remember.”
Liz was about to say something when Sam interrupted her.
“Maria. That wouldn’t by any chance be the firecracker I had lunch with today?”
“Yes, it is. Oh! I’m sorry, did you have to sit through a “Michael-is-a-jerk” speech?”
Sam chuckled. “Yes, I did. She’s really mad at him.”
“She should be. I mean, Courtney? Over Maria?”
“He said that he’s investigating her. He suspects her to be an alien,” Sam explained.
“She is,” Max said.
“The good kind or the bad kind?” Liz asked wearily.
“The bad kind turned good. Don’t worry, Michael’ll take care of it.” He tried to sound reassuring.
“Max, there are a few things we should discuss,” Sam said.
“Sure. What’s on your mind?” Max took Liz’s hand and sat down next to her on the bed. Sam paced around the room.
“What is the ‘Book of Destiny’?”
“How do you know about that?” Max asked suspiciously.
“It showed up in some files Ziggy dug up. She believes they are plans for the invasion.”
“It’s a book that was sent with us. It’s written with these alien symbols. We don’t know what they mean. We haven’t been able to translate it. We think it explains our purpose here, why we were created, how we are supposed to mate… how we get back.”
“Where is that book now?”
“It’s in the pod chamber.” Catching Sam’s look, he added, “It’s as safe as it can be. We’re the only ones who know about it.”
“Speaking of knowing, just so I don’t make a huge mistake, who knows about you… about you being… um…”
“Not of this world?” Liz asked with a twinkle in her eyes. She smiled at Sam. “You know, it is politically correct to call them ‘aliens’.”
Max smiled at Liz and squeezed her hand before listing the 7 others he trusted with his secret.
“Anyone else who knows, be very wary of,” he added. “That usually means bad things.”
“Got it.”
Sam started to pace again. A few moments went by without any of them saying anything. Finally, Sam stopped in front of Max.
“You’re about to leave,” he told him bluntly.
“What— w-what do you mean?” Liz asked, moving a bit closer to Max.
Max pushed a strand of her brown hair off her face. “I told you about this. If we succeed in changing the future, different events will take place. I will cease to exist.” He turned to look at Sam. “But I didn’t accomplish what I came here to do. Will I still disappear?”
“Yes,” Sam answered. “The man you are now is who he is because of what you experienced. Something major is not going to take place when it was supposed to. From now on, Max will be different from you.”
Max nodded slowly. He knew exactly what Sam was referring to.
But Liz was confused.
“What won’t take place?” she asked Sam. When the Leaper didn’t answer, she turned to Max. “What is he talking about?”
Max looked at Sam who nodded and quickly made an exit through the window. “I’ll be back later tonight, Liz,” he said before disappearing down the fire escape.
Liz turned to Max expectantly.
“Well?”
Max got up and started to pace the room in the same fashion Sam had.
“That night in Whitaker’s office, I came to ask you out to a Gomez concert in Santa Fe.”
Liz’s eyes brightened up. “That’s very sweet of you.”
“You said no.”
“Well, of course I said no. I was not going to jeopardize your destiny for a concert, no matter how much I love the band.” Secretly, Liz was rather proud of the fact that she had resisted him. Where did she find the strength, she wondered.
“I didn’t take no for an answer.”
“So we went to the concert,” Liz said, still confused. She knew the band was good, but could a concert really be a life-changing experience?
Max hesitated. He wasn’t sure how much he should tell her. She knew way too much about the future as it was. But he had already said too much to stop now.
“No. The night of Gomez I came to your room. That's the night that things between us were… cemented.”
Liz got up from the bed and stood in front of Max.
“Cemented,” she repeated. “So when you say cemented, you... “
“We made love.”
“No, no, we...we didn't. “
“Liz... “ Max started. He had expected this. She had expressed similar concerns that very special night 14 years ago. As Liz was protesting that she had absolutely no intention of making love to anyone at that particular stage of her life, Max felt the memories come rushing back to him.
//He had come to her window with the Gomez tickets in his hand just over an hour ago. After 15 minutes of begging and pleading, she finally let him into her room. He was not going to miss this chance. He told her everything he had wanted to tell her ever since that day in May, when she had left him at the cave.
And then she finally let him back into her life.
To say that Max was ecstatic would be the understatement of the millennium. He had never felt such happiness. He hadn’t thought it was possible to be this happy.
His hand found its way to her hair as he talked. His fingers were playing with the silky strands as he looked into her eyes. He hesitated when he leaned in, afraid that all this newfound happiness would disappear if he dared hope for it to last. He was pleasantly surprised when Liz closed the gap between them and their lips finally met.
The kiss was sweet, soft, much like their very first one. But it soon grew more passionate as Max let go of her hair and took her face in both of his hands.
When their mouths finally parted, Liz looked at him.
“Max…” she said breathlessly. “We can’t… we shouldn’t…”
“I know… I know…” he whispered back to her. “It’s too soon…” He left a trail of kisses down her neck before he spoke again. “But I can’t let go right now. I can’t not touch you. It’s been so long, Liz… I have to feel you.” His eyes were dark when he looked at her.
“I feel the same,” Liz said. “But we can’t… we’re just not ready… I… I don’t think I’m ready,” she finally admitted.
“Then we’ll stop,” Max said reluctantly.
“Yes, we should,” Liz answered, just as reluctantly. She played with the top button of his shirt while he rubbed her back lightly. Their eyes met. “But who says we have to stop right now?” she said in a small voice.
“Right,” he replied. He didn’t need to hear that twice. His lips found hers and he kissed her as if his life depended on it. Her lips felt like the first drop of water after an eternity in the desert. He needed the taste of her. He needed the feel of her. He needed her to touch him.
He lost all track of time as they kissed and caressed and held and kissed some more. Liz was nibbling on his ear when she said the words that would seal his destiny forever.
“Make love to me, Max,” she whispered, her breath hot against his ear.
He pulled back to look at her, afraid that he had misunderstood. The look in his love’s eyes confirmed that he had not.
“But… you said--“
“I know,” she interrupted him. “I was scared. But I’m not anymore. I’m as ready as I’m gonna be.”
He nodded, but still hesitated. He wanted to make sure she was doing this because she really wanted to. He didn’t want her to regret this. “Are you sure? I mean, you’re not doing this just because of me, are you?” His desire for her had been obvious for a little while now.
“Of course, I’m doing this because of you. Do you think I would do this with just anyone?” she teased. He relaxed a bit at her teasing. “I want this just as much as you do,” she added.
Somehow, that didn’t seem possible to Max, but he wanted to believe her so bad. He kissed her. “Last chance to change your mind,” he said keeping his tone light, but his eyes were very serious. “Because once we start, there’s no going back.”
“I don’t ever want to go back.” //
Max pushed the memory away and focused on Liz once again. She was still defending herself.
“Making love to you is the farthest thing from my mind. I...I don't even have protection.“
“I did. “
Liz rolled her eyes. “Oh, that's great. There you are, Max the Saint, just walking around with a condom in his back pocket.“
Max didn’t say anything, but he remembered quite clearly that she had been very glad he had left his halo at home when protection had become an issue. Liz was about to say something else but Max raised a hand to stop her.
“You don’t have to defend yourself. Your honour is not at stake here,” he smiled at her, then turned serious. “But I know what I know. Sam is right. Max and I will be two different people starting tonight, and I’ll… leave.”
Liz looked at him and her concerns over her lost virginity vanished when she finally understood what he meant.
“So, you’re going back to where you came from?”
“No. There’s nowhere to go back to,” he said lightly, trying to deny that his heart suddenly felt like lead.
“Whe- … where will you go?” she asked in a little girl’s voice that matched the frightened look in her eyes.
“I guess I’ll know when I get there.” He tried to smile at her.
Liz’s heart broke at the sight of Max trying to put on a brave face for her sake. She knew her Max would still be fine even after this one vanished, but she had grown to love this particular version of Max. How could she not? After all, wasn’t he just an older, more mature version of perfection?
She took the couple of steps that separated them and embraced him. She hugged him to her tightly. He buried his face in her hair. This was goodbye.
“I’m so sorry,” she said.
“Oh, don’t be.” He looked at her. “You must understand that it’s not all bad. I mean, I was literally minutes away from dying before I came here. I got to have a few more days, with you, the girl I fell in love with.” His eyes became distant. “My only regret is that you died alone, out there, by yourself. I hope Sam will succeed and that we’ll change that. Because I’ll always be there for you, know that.”
“I know,” she whispered through tears. She was still holding on to him. After a moment, she asked, “Could you show me? You know… us? Together?”
Max pulled back from her a little. “I guess I could,” he said.
“But you wont.” Max shook his head. “Why not?”
“There is no way for you to understand how… incredible… we were together, and how much that shaped who we became. The love we have for each other… you think it’s strong now, but it hasn’t even reached its full potential yet.”
“But if you showed me, then I’d understand,” she insisted. She couldn’t let that version of Max go without trying to preserve at least a little bit of him.
“You would, but that wouldn’t be fair to Max,” he said with a twinkle in his eyes. She half-smiled at him and looked down. He put his finger under her chin to raise her head. He was serious again. “I think part of what made it so special is that we got to discover it together.” She nodded.
“But I can make you see how happy you’ll make me when you’ll let me into your life again. That way,” he added with a grin, “you’ll do it as soon as you see me and we won’t have to spend another moment apart.” She giggled as he put his hands on either side of her face and looked into her eyes. As the connection opened, she felt a rush of love and happiness come over her. As every emotion Max felt for her on a different version of this very night flooded her, she closed her eyes to take it all in.
The relief.
The utter happiness.
The love.
The need.
The… complete emptiness.
She opened her eyes and looked around. Max was nowhere in sight. Liz shuddered violently and hugged herself. She stepped through the window and looked around the balcony. She had never felt so desperately alone in her whole entire life. She looked up at the night sky.
A shooting star crossed the dark horizon.
And Liz felt some warmth return to her heart at Max’s last goodbye.
To be continued...
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