Section One - The Forgotten Indian
The Indian culture is indisputably among the oldest cultures in the history of our world. When the modern industrialized nation was yet to rise, before the advent of Christianity, Islam, and Buddhism, and long before the Asiatic peninsula was to be declared a ‘third-world’ region, Indian civilization was alive and flourishing. Thousands of years later, after the wake of several invasions and generations of foreign rule, India remains a culture so unique as to have assimilated other cultures into its own rather than falling itself. Whether seen by a historian or the average keen observer, the Indian culture is easily recognized as a prodigy in human civilization. However, my purpose is not to discuss the history of the Asiatic peninsula. This history is relatively well known, even if not fully appreciated, throughout the world. My purpose in writing is not what is known about India, but rather what is forgotten. As proven through time, Indian culture has changed dramatically as the times have themselves. The Indian culture is once again upon this brink of change, and the Indian culture prepares to enter yet another millennium through which it must survive the test of time. The question is, however, will this great civilization, one that has seen days of plenty and days of scarcity, survive this next millennium? If so, upon whose shoulders will such a burden fall?
An entire generation of the Indian population has literally been forgotten. To their parents, they are rebellious, lost, confused, and utterly hopeless. To their friends, they are strange, backwards, and hopelessly different. And, to their relatives back home, they are no longer, nor have they ever been, Indians. Who are these ‘forgotten’ Indians? His parents came here from India so he could have greater opportunities. Her parents wanted to be here so that she could get a better education. Their parents left India ‘for them.’
This is the story of the second-generation Indian, who has grown up in the United States, in Canada, in England, in Australia; in a country other than India, and yet has grown up as an Indian. This is the story of the Indian who was told to be proud of his culture, and who was told to be respectful to her elders. This is my generation of Indian youth; a generation which struggles daily to discover its identity.
Before I can begin to offer my opinions upon our culture and the direction it has traveled and the direction it must travel in the future, I’d like to begin by sharing a few of my personal experiences as a second-generation Indian. I’ve been asked many times why I have such a commitment to my culture, and why I bother to look deeper into my roots. This story is my reason why.
For those of you who may not be very familiar with Toronto, Canada, there is an extremely large South Asian population in this city. Having been born there and lived there for 10 years, I was accustomed to having many Indian friends, Indian teachers, attending Indian ceremonies, and developing a uniquely Indian social attitude. My parents made it a priority for me to be aware of my culture at a very young age, and so I was told daily of stories found in such Indian classical literature as the Ramayana, the Mahabharata, and the Bhagavad-Gita. I was told of how lucky I was to be born in such a religious and cultural family, and how simply incredible and deep the Indian culture was. Of course, being of such juvenile age, I never really gave much merit to their lectures. Essentially, I took it for granted that my culture would always be understood, appreciated, and lauded.
My first glimpse of cultural dissent arose when I began to notice contradictions within my upbringing. The first conflicting aspect that I would discover in my seemingly flawless ethnicity was my parents. Even though they would encourage me constantly to appreciate and learn my heritage at home, it seemed that whenever they went out of the house, they would nearly cower in shame when they revealed their culture to western society. I was always told to be proud that my mother country was India, and yet my parents in public seemed to be eternally afraid of the western world’s view of our tradition. I sometimes caught myself wondering whether it was of pride or of shame to be Indian, but these thoughts were momentary, and I’d resume those seemingly trouble-free days.
Little did I know that everything I was taught would be challenged much sooner than I could have ever expected. My father decided to buy a hotel in Orlando, Florida, and so my family was to move to this new place. Eventually, I enrolled into a small suburban elementary school outside of Orlando, and the same day became my first day of school in the United States. This first day was to leave a scar so deep that it is yet to heal, yet the sight of this wound serves as a daily reminder for me to attempt and discover my background and myself. Upon entering the classroom, I was greeted with absurd questions such as "What tribe Indian are you?" and "Did you live in an Igloo up in Canada?" Dismissing the questions as idiocy, I merely answered them and moved on. In a short hour, time came for the class to go to lunch.
To my surprise, it seemed that my enrollment in the school was not appreciated. The class sat on long tables to eat lunch, large enough to accommodate the entire class. However, it seemed that no person was in favor of my sitting by them, and so I chose to sit at my own table. I was a shy and slightly introverted child at the time anyhow, and so I did not mind the event. The long and winding lunch-line slowly dwindled to its inevitable end as I sat and watched everyone eat on the table next to me. The day’s lunch menu consisted of a main course of a "Sloppy Joe." One curious girl caught me staring at the other table, and so she walked up to me.
"Why don't you get a lunch? You don't have to pay for it, if you don't have money," she asked. Surprised at her interest, I simply replied "No, its okay; I'm vegetarian." She gave me a strange look, and said, "What do you mean?" I simply told her "I don’t eat meat, I'm not supposed to." She hurriedly went back to the table with the rest of the class, and told the girl beside her. This girl took it as an object of hilarity, and so the information spread quickly throughout the table. It eventually became a joke, I presume, because after a small period of time the majority of the table across from me was laughing.
“Here,” said a student who had walked up to me with his burger in his hand. “Wanna bite?” Dumbfounded, I stared at the boy for what seemed as an eternity as I could see the sheer pleasure he was getting out of his mocking attitude. It soon became hilarious to the rest of the class, and shortly after I had several kids in front of me, pulling meat out of their burgers and pushing it in my face. Angry, scared, and nervous, I did not know what else to do but cry, which is precisely what I did, until the teacher showed up a few minutes later.
This was the first in a laundry-list of experiences, including such highlights as getting ‘beat-up’ and pushed around in bathrooms, getting shoved off of playground equipment, being mocked by students in the 3rd and 4th grade, constant and consistent harassment, and many similar experiences. Never was I strong enough to fight back, and never could I share my problems with my parents. The relationship between us was nominal, and seemed to lack any signs of love whatsoever. I simply could not tell them that I was being hit, mocked, and laughed at for the very ideals they told me to be proud of. So, I decided to hold it all in, and simply lose the small bit of confidence that every 5th grade kid develops for himself.
Middle school started the year after, which did not show signs of improvement. I tried everything I could to make friends, but I could not loose the "Indo-Canadian nerd" impression that was cast onto me. I was teased on a daily basis about all aspects of Indian culture. They would joke around about our accents, our tradition of respecting cows, and the idea that all Indians were either convenience store clerks or taxi drivers. I became utterly sick of the pathetic and sarcastic imitations of our culture, especially since I knew that their vision was clouded with misconceptions about my race. How could I show them, if I did not know the realities myself?
Entering high school, I felt as though I was doomed to continue this inescapable trend of blatant derision. On the surface, there seemed to be no racial problems in this stage of the educational process. Below this scintillating surface, however, lay a dark reality of racial slurs, cultural misconceptions, and discriminatory practices. When we spoke of racism at school, everyone assumed that it was only affecting African-Americans or Hispanics, but very few people even though to include Asian-Americans within that group. It seemed, though, that no one cared to examine Asian-American culture, and that it was simply okay to continue the ceaseless ridicule of the entire civilization. We were all “dot-heads,” and we all worshipped cows for fun. Naturally, I began to avoid my culture, my religion, and my language, for it seemed to only be a hindrance in my social life. I thought that I would wait until people understood my culture for me to be proud of it.
Later on in high school, I entered a rapid spurt of mental and spiritual growth. It became clear to me that the United States was not the haven of equality that it was acclaimed as being. The Indian was discriminated against, and so I would take it upon myself to clear misconceptions about Indians at school. As I began this quest, I realized that I was falling short of one vital necessity. My peers asked me many questions about South Asian culture and tradition; questions I myself asked. How could I verily clear misconceptions if I held the same façade of reality?
Thus began my search for knowledge of Indian culture. This search has never yet ended, although it has leaded me to read all things that have influenced its development, from Islam and Christianity to Buddhism and Sikhism. I attempted to learn who I am, what my culture is, and why it is the way it has become. This writing is an attempt to offer the second-generation of Indians some insight upon the reasons why our culture is the way it is, as well as my own opinions upon why the time for change awaits us. I will not claim to be an authority on India or our culture; however, I feel that it will take a second-generation Indian himself to spread this insight. There is no doubt that racism will continue, for as long as we are humans, we will make mistakes. As long as we make mistakes, we will continue to, willingly or unwillingly, cause hurt to others. As long as hurt exists, hate must coexist. However, we must do our part to cause love and not hate to overpower our emotions. Let us, the Second-generation Indians, be first to lead this battle.
Section Two - The predicament of the Second-Generation Indian
Chances are, the majority of second-generation Indians outside of India have at least once in their life been imposed a strange, illogical, or unheard of rule by their parents. We’ve been constantly and consistently told of our culture, yet never once have we ever been given the explanation of why. Seldom have our parents recognized the fact that we are caught in between two conflicting cultures, and the only way for us to choose which path we want to follow is through reason. However, reason has never been presented to us, and that is why the second-generation Indian has divided into two categories.
Second-generation Indians who belong to the first category are those who have listened obediently to their parent’s will. They have never, or seldom ever, challenged their parents’ authority, and submit to their will with little reservation. What is the benefit of this? They have managed to keep the family together strong, without having to worry about conflicts or fights. Your parents are proud of you, and you respect your parents. Yet, deep inside there is that burn to be free. What happens? When that first glimpse of freedom comes, you either do not know what to do with it, and look for someone to depend on, or you take the freedom a little too far, and seek to make up for lost time. Often, as has been seen in our generation, both of these situations can have catastrophic results. The second category of Second-generation Indians includes those who refused to submit to the will of their parents. They became rebels, challenging every order and every bidding of their parents, for the simple reason that they would not be told to follow a culture which they believed to be outdated, unfounded, and simply without reason. The advantage of this category was obvious, as these Indians made their own rules, did not submit to unnecessary regulation, and did as they pleased. The disadvantage is also quite clear. The relationship between them and their parents deteriorated, they began to loose faith in what they were taught, and the parents began to loose faith in their teachings.
Obviously, there is a vast gray area between these two categories. There are some of us who seem to bounce back and forth, and some of us who lean slightly either way. Yet, for both of these categories, only one simple thing would be needed to alleviate all of these problems and misconceptions. This one simple thing is the reason why. All we needed to know was why our parents set these rules, why they had such high standards, and simply why things are the way they are. However, it seemed that our parents could never answer these questions, and simply stated that they were part of our culture. The theory I develop in the following words is based upon my own interpretation of the history of our culture, religion, and country.
Section Three: The way things are, and why
Most of us have grown up with several serious misconceptions; misconceptions we hold inside of us deeply and become obstructions in our struggle to progress as a race. Because of what we have been told as we’ve grown, all of us inside carry these delusions to a varying degree. They are as follows:
1) The Hindu/Indian culture is closed-minded
2) Our culture cannot be understood by the modern world
These two egregious misconceptions stand in our way as we progress into this modern era. Let us examine the historic trends of India and its culture to try and understand where these two ideals develop.
Most second-generation Indians may think of the religion and culture of India as being closed minded. However, this is clearly not true, as we can see in the progression of Hinduism in India. In the early days of the Aryans, the collection of literary works known as the Vedas was viewed as the most sacred literature and the path to salvation. However, eventually Rishis (sages) began to doubt the supremacy of the Vedas, and began to search for a more direct mode of achieving salvation, becoming the Vedanta (works such as the Srimad-Bhagvatam, the Bhagavad-Gita, and so forth. The Vedanta does not doubt the authority of the Vedas; it simply states that there is a better method of achieving salvation). Were these protesting Rishis persecuted? No, they were not, although in almost every other major religion in the world, whenever a separate sect or belief was formed within the parent religion, the sect would be persecuted until it finally broke off and formed its own religion. However, the all-encompassing belief of Hinduism remained intact as one, and in the instances that separate religions did form (Buddhism and Jainism) they broke off peacefully. Perhaps the biggest example of the inherent open-minded tradition of India can be traced to the founding of other religions from Hinduism, such as Buddhism (founded by the Buddha), Jainism (founded by Mahavir), and Sikhism (initialized by the first guru, Guru Nanak and declared a separate religion by Guru Gobind Singh, the tenth guru.) All of these religions disagreed with certain aspects of Hinduism, and consequentially broke off into their own religion. However, the founders of these religions are revered in India, to go as far as Buddha who is considered an incarnate of Vishnu himself (Vishnu is a Hindu name given to the aspect of God that is known as the ‘Preserver.’ Vishnu is said to incarnate himself as a earthly life form whenever necessary to rid the world of evil). Sikhs will enter Hindu temples, and Hindus will tell stories of praise of Guru Nanak, Buddha, and Mahavir. To a true traditional Hindu, all religions and all beliefs are the same.
Yet, as second-generation Indians, we know that this open-mindedness has not remained universally true. Since a young age, many of us have been taught otherwise. We’ve been told to spoke only when spoken to, and essentially forbid ourselves from expressing our true feelings and desires. Why? Our parents have taught us that this is our culture. Such is the thick layer of closed-minded attitude that lies upon our inherently open-minded tradition. How has such a closed-minded attitude developed in Indian culture? There is only one reason. Indians value their culture, beliefs and way of living as being the ultimate values in life, and thus adamantly protect these values. Whenever Indians have felt a threat to their way of living, their culture, or their beliefs, they have chosen to seal themselves from outside in an attempt to protect their values. This has proven true through history, and continues to prove true today.
We have used history to prove the inherent open-mindedness of our culture, so let us use history to prove this principle true as well. Let us examine the tradition of arranged marriage, perhaps one of the most controversial traditions between second-generation Indians and their parents. What is arranged marriage, and why has it developed in our culture? Thousands of years ago, long before British Raj, the Mughal Dynasty, or the first imperial unifications of the Indian subcontinent, India was comprised of many small kingdoms and tribal villages. In the courts of many kings, a very large ceremony took place to choose a girl’s husband, called a swyambar (often depicted in such purana literature as the Ramayana and the Mahabharata). In this ceremony, the young princes from all of the neighboring kingdoms would be invited into the king’s court, where the princess would choose her desired husband as she pleased. The woman’s right to choose her soul mate at these ceremonies obviously depicts a very open view of marriage, almost exempt from arranged marriage, other than the Hindu mandate for approval from parents.
How then did arranged marriage begin? Although we can only speculate, it seems to have derived from fear. As these neighboring villages and kingdoms began to compete for resources, often fear spawned that an opposing village would attempt to cause harm to one’s village in an attempt to cause harm to them. Villagers thought that perhaps angry or jealous villagers would poison their newly wed daughters who went to stay in the opposing village. Thus, early on, Indians perceived a threat to their way of living, and wanted to avoid this any way possible. The most apparent solution was for a parent to seek a spouse for one’s child within his or her own community, rather than risking the child’s life by marriage into another community or village (Stanley Wolpert; “A New History of India - Fifth Edition”). This apparently became the source of arranged marriage. Indians saw a threat to their way of living, and decided to seal themselves off from outside by marrying within their own community, giving parents the soul duty of finding a suitable partner.
As we all know, this system of arranged marriage has changed over time. From this agreement, it became complete dictation of spouse without consent of the child, and then progressed into its current stage where the marriage is relatively loosely arranged. The question is, does arranged marriage belong in our society today? Not really. No longer are we opposing villages fighting for resources, and no longer do we have such a reason for fear. While parents must have some say in a child’s decision regarding marriage (as shown throughout several Hindu beliefs, for the simple reason that a child has a responsibility towards his or her parents), they have neither the right nor the responsibility to take complete charge of this decision. Even the earliest stories of Hindu demigods describe the importance of love and attraction within this important decision. This is easily seen in the stories and depictions of such figures as Shiva (Mahadeva) and Parvati. In this story of the demigods, love was truly the strongest factor in the arrangement, as the demigod Shiva falls in love with a mortal, yet still chooses to marry her. Furthermore, in stories of Krishna (often regarded by many Vedantic Hindus as the supreme personality of God) and Radha, and Rama and Sita, we see that Hindu tradition dictates that love should be the overarching theme of marriage, and not an arrangement based strictly on fear.
This is only one example of Indians sealing up when faced with fear or with the threat to their way of living. Another can be seen in the progression of Hinduism throughout India’s history. While Hinduism was constantly progressing and encompassing newer ideals for a large part of its pre-Islamic history, it seems that this progression seems to have slowed to a near halt during India’s period of Islamic rule. Prior to this invasion, Hindu tradition encouraged questioning of faith in order to achieve a more complete understanding of religion or of spirituality. The best example of this can be seen in the Upnishads, the fourth part of each Vedic text. The word “Upnishad” itself can be broken into the Sanskrit base of upa (near), ni (down), and sad (to sit), meaning to sit down near. According to Vedantic tradition, pupils would sit down near their Guru’s, or spiritual teachers, and ask them several questions in order to clear their understanding of Vedic ideals and text. Eventually, this constant questioning lead to many changes within Hinduism, and led Hinduism from an essentially polytheistic religion into one that has faith in a monotheistic energy/being above the polytheistic demigods of earlier times. However, during the rule of Islam in India, the progression of Hinduism declines considerably, and no such monumental change occurs as did in prior years. Perhaps the only major change that had occurred during this time period was the formation of the Sikh faith in northwestern India. When we examine the upcoming of Sikhism, however, we see that its original intention was only reform within Hinduism, and it did not intend to break away from its mother faith. It did, however, which further supports the principle that Hindus during this time period had “closed up,” and were not willing to accept new ideals presented to them. This is probably why the Sikh faith unfortunately did not have the impact that Buddhism or Jainism did when they broke away from Hinduism, even though the Sikh belief most nobly attempts to create peace and common faith between Hinduism and Islam with the proclamation that the Hindu and Islam both believe in the same God. Over half a century has passed since India was given its independence, and slowly, the country becomes more open-minded as time passes. In a country that would be aghast at showing any public display of affection, today the televisions of millions of Indians bare the latest Indian soap-operas, filled with plots saturated with sex. In the country that would look down upon premarital relations of any kind, today Indian youth walk around with their girl or boy friends on the streets and take them out to movies. Why has all of this occurred in such a short amount of time? Simply because, the aura of India has changed. No longer does Indian culture perceive a threat to its way of living, nor does it fear it loosing its culture. The mentality of India today is much more similar to ancient India in its open-mindedness.
Why then, do Indians living abroad (commonly referred to in India as “NRIs,” or Non-Resident Indians) teach an expired, closed-minded message to their children, the second-generation Indians? Why is it absurd and appalling when second-generation Indians have premarital relations of the opposite sex, when their cousins in India are able to do as they wish? Why are we taught closed-minded beliefs such as blatant racism, superstition, fear, and other such unbased relics of past-time in India? When we apply the aforementioned theory, it all makes sense. Indians living abroad, those who have moved out of India yet work to actively maintain their culture, are afraid of loosing their culture, and perceive westernized or modern culture as a threat to their values.
During the post-Independence era in India, literally hundreds of thousands of Indians moved out of the nation in order to seek greater opportunity. The country itself was caught between a confusing blend of capitalism and communism as it bounced between alliance with the United States and the Soviet Union. Government itself was tied up in bureaucratic red tape, and it seemed that the only hope of opportunity lay beyond India’s borders. These heavy-hearted emigrates took with them only their memories, their spouses, and their culture.
Living thousands of miles away from home, the NRIs tried to maintain their connection with their motherland, as Indian restaurants, spice shops, movie stores, and other such relics of home began to emerge in urban centers with high Indian population. South Hall, Toronto, Vancouver, New York, Chicago, and other such cities became large centers of Indian population, leading to the building of mandirs (Hindu temples), gurudwaras (Sikh temples), and Indian community centers were erected. Indians felt closer to home than ever before, and they felt that they could pass on this great culture to the next generation of Indians, but the first born outside of India.
This second-generation of Indians was given an identity from their parents, one that would theoretically model each child as a proper Indian. They were brought up to respect and cherish their culture, but to not defend it if they were made fun of. They were taught to be Indians at home, but not in public for fear of ridicule. They were either given a strict set of rules and limitations, preventing them from anything which may cause them exposure to western society, in fear that western society would not accept them; or their parents, in an attempt to make them more acceptable to western society, tried to become westernized themselves. So much fear surrounded the development of these Indians, yet when time came to face society for themselves, they had no choice but to live with the derogatory remarks, the foul racial slurs, and the shame of being Indian. After all, would they tell their parents? These children lived two separate lives; one at school where they ran in shame, and one at home, where they would be perfect Indian children. The parents were so strict, that they never felt that they could talk to their parents, and consequentially, they were faced to deal with these problems all on their own.
Today, these Indians have separated into the aforementioned groups, in which they either blindly accept their culture without understanding it, or they reject it without examining its merit.
The question becomes, had this generation been brought up to question and examine their culture as traditional Indian ways dictate, would not the society have a better chance of survival? It is obvious that those who have rejected Indian traditions cannot carry its legacy, and neither can those who have accepted it without understanding. The second-generation Indians must continue to be endowed with the knowledge that resides in our culture, yet they must not be taught shame, fear, and closed-mindedness by their parents. It was not that the modern world would not accept Indians, but rather, Indians did not give the modern world a chance to understand them by refusing to change.
Referring back to the theory that Indians become closed-minded when they sense a threat to their culture, we can see that the only threat to our culture at this point is closed-mindedness itself. Our very culture, tradition, and way of living cannot survive if it is not understood by the next generation of Indians. All second-generation Indians must question their culture, and then seek out the answer. This is the only true Indian tradition, and this tradition must not die.
The NRIs also carry a deep burden. They must raise their children as Indians, but also allow them to examine their culture on their own. They cannot teach their children to blindly accept, they cannot allow them to be ashamed, and above all, they cannot obstruct the open line of communication between them and their children by imposing unfair or unjust rules. Fear should no longer carry a place in Indian culture. The only way that this civilization can survive through the next millennium is through the strength and understanding of generations of Indians who are yet to come.