It had been over a year since Alkali Lake. One year and Scott Summers was getting progressively worse.
Scott starred at the advancing men and did nothing.
"Cyclops!" Someone screamed, but he continued to stare as they unsheathed their serrated blades and stalked him, laughing amongst themselve that he would be an easy kill. And he would be.
"Goddamn you to hell, you blundering idiot!" He now recognized the voice as Wolverine's as the man lept in front of him, claws barred and flashing red in the moonlight as he drove them into one enemy body after another. A stray sword ran clean through his side and he swivled to decapitate it's former owner.
"That looked like it hurt." Scott commented simply, still making no attempt to join the battle.
"If you're not going to do anything useful, at least shut up!" Logan growled at him, plunging his shimmering claws into another unfortunate's side. These weren't mutants, they weren't even militants, just a civilian force Magneto had gathered under his twisted power. Well, they were a civilian force; now they were dead.
Fine senses tuned for any straglers, the Wolverine sheathed his claws.
"You...you could have been killed!" He hissed in Scott's face.
"You do have point....?" Logan could have hit him, and probably would have had it not been for Storm's sudden appearance.
"What do you think you were doing? If Wolverine hadn't stepped in and saved you, you would have been killed!" Scott sighed.
"How long did it take you to figure that one out?" Storm starred at him in disbelief.
"I can't believe you..." she whispered, then abruptly turned away and walked to the jet, Nightcrawler on her heels. Logan waited until they had gotten into the jet before shootting Scott a disgusted look and following. Scott remained were he was.
"What is he doing?" Ororo hissed. Logan growled and stalked back out, uncermoniously tossing an unprotesting Cyclops over one shoulder and carrying him into the jet.
"You're bleeding." Scott commented quietly, reaching down to press a finger into the still open wound. It was healing but it was still deep.
"No thanks to you." Logan commented drily, dropping him into his seat and buckling him when he refused to do it himself.
Proffessor Xavier meet them at the door, looking deeply troubled. Wolverine was still carrying Scott as he hadn't spoken or moved since the battle.
"Let's get him to bed." Xavier said before anyone else could get a word in. Logan was resigned to have to carry the man through the mansion and toward his room, but Xaiver turned the wrong way and led them further down the hall. He stopped in font of Logan's room.
"This is my room." Logan reminded him pointedly.
"Yes it is. I wish for him to stay with you tonight." Now Scott did stir. With a sudden burst of energy he struggled out of Logan's arms, landing cat-like on all fours.
"No." He said forcefully, moving to his feet.
"No?" Xaiver asked carefully. Scott eyed him suspiciously.
"No." He repeated firmly.
"For once I agree with the suicidal idiot." Logan added, leaning against the wall.
"I'm not suicidal!" Scott snapped quickly. Too quickly.
"You are staying with Logan tonight, or I will strap to the table in the medical wing." Charles Xavier informed him cooly.
"I don't think he wants me there."
"He has as little choice in the manner as you do." The Wolverine's left eyebrow lifted in an 'oh-really?'
"I'm sleeping in the living room." He said finally.
"You are not. You will sleep in your room, in your bed with Scott." Logan glared at him. The man had the tone that said 'don't you dare mess with me.' so he sighed and made a noncommital gesture with one hand.
"Good. Go to bed. Both of you." With that he turned and led the rest of the group toward his office. Logan waited until they had rounded the corner and turned to Scott who was now leaning heavily on the wall, expression blank. He wasn't going to move on his own. Growling deep in his throat, Logan swept him up and carried him into the bedroom, roughly depositing him on the bed.
"You don't move. I'm going to find you something to sleep in." However, Scott simply lay there as if her were dead and said nor did anything. Shaking his head, Logan stomped to the closet and located his own sleep wear before retrieving a suitable tee-shirt and pair of boxers. When he came out ten minutes later clad in a pair of checkered blue boxers and white tee-shirt, Scott was still in the same posistion.
"Do you sleep with those on?" He asked gesturing toward his visor. Scott managed a nodd and remained quiet. "Right...well, I'm not dressing you, so either change or sleep in what your wearing." Logan told him, throwing the clothing on to his chest and heading for the bathroom. When he emerged, he grunted softly at the picture Scott presented. Cyclops was cuddled under the blankets against the snowy cold just outside the window, his uniform scattered across the floor.
"You better not snore." Logan warned, but Scott said nothing, still as Death. "Stupid, meddling old man..." Wolverine muttered, pulling back the top cover and moving under it, turning so his back faced his temparary bedmate.
"Vhat vas dat all about?" Nightcrawler asked when they entered Xavier's office.
"He needs someone to be with tonight. He needs the protection that Logan can provide him."
"Protection from what?!" Ororo snapped a little more forcefully than she meant to. Xavier ignored her tone.
"Himself." He said quietly. Silence insued.
Logan woke slowly, immediatly conscious of the warmth to his back and the arms around his chest.
"What are you doing?" He snapped, pushing Scott's arms away. The man's visor blinked up at him blurrily.
"I was sleeping." He said as though it should have been obvious. Logan glarred at him.
"Okay, look. I don't know what you're up to, but I don't think that was Xavier's idea of 'sleeping'...you know what? Forget it." He located a pair of jeans and began to slip them on.
"Don't leave me..." Scott said quietly. So quietly that Logan almost didn't hear him and wouldn't have had he been a normal human. There was something so imploring about that voice, he found himself hesitating. "Please..." Scott sobbed, much louder this time but still relatively soft. "It's the middle of the night...stay with me?" Berating himself that he was going soft, Logan sighed and discarded his pants before lying down again. There was an uncomfortable silence as Scott dredged up his courage to ask another question. "Hold me?" He whispered.
"Sorry...I'm really not into men." Scott swallowed hard and pushed on Logan's shoulder until the man rolled on to his back.
"I don't want sex...I just want someone to hold me...I miss her so much..." He bit his lip as tears welled up unseen in his eyes.
"You think I don't? I loved her too...and I've never stopped...but what your doing to yourself is a disservice to her. She died to save you, you should at least honor her by *living*." Logan said propping himself up on his elbows. Tears overflowed Scott's eyes and he let them fall.
"I know that! I've never forgotten that...but I can't....*live* without her. I'm trying...I tried...I just...hold me tonight?" Logan looked up at his fellow X-man, his collegue, and dare he say it-his friend, and felt his chest tighten. Giving in with a sigh, he opened his arms and Scott fell into them gratefully, sobbing into his brood chest.
Logan lay awake for a long time after Scott had cried himself to sleep and thought about how much the man had changed. At first it seemed like he was coping; he continued to be hostile toward Logan-though slightly abated-he continued to lead missions and train, and *eat* and *sleep* but after about a month, it was almost as though he had given up. He stopped raising to Logan's baits, and they stopped sparring all together. He continued to lead missions, but he stopped actually fighting; he would stay in the jet or he would just stand there and watch stupidly. He stopped eating at regular intervuals and had lost so much weight that his uniform had to be taken in a full six sizes. He came out every morning with circles under his eyes and it was obvious that he had slept very little. For a while Scott seemed to improve; he at least started bantering with Logan again, though he didn't put much heart into. Over the last month however, he had declined steeply. Cautiously Logan felt Scott's stomach and wondered how much of the weight he had regained over the last six months he had lost again.
Sometime later, Logan fell asleep with one arm wrapped lightly around Scott Summers' waist.
Scott woke to the sense of warmth; of safety and he sighed, lifting his head hesitatently to look up into Logan's face before carefully moving higher and looking out the partial exposed window. It was early; barely five would be his guess, but that was still *much* longer than he usually slept.
"Are you awake yet?" Logan asked him. Startled a little, Scott looked down at Logan's face. His eyes were still closed and his expression was calm and serene. He found himself taken by that face, the gentle rise and fall of his chest. He swallowed hard.
"Yes." he managed finally. Logan languidly opened his eyes and stared up at Scott. There was a silence for a moment, in which Scott carefully closed the distance between them and brought their lips together. It was a slow sensual kiss, their lips barely touching.
"I thought I told you that I wasn't into men." Logan managed, his voice soft and strained. Scott backed up slowly.
"Have you ever been with a man?" he returned. Logan hesitated, then growled softly.
"No, and I'm not going to start now!" his voice was a quiet hiss, but he made no attempt to push the other man away. Scott was hopeful that their proximity was not an oversight.
"How do you know you don't like something until you've tried?" he asked. Logan's growl was more punctual this time.
"Have *you* ever slept with a man?" he barked finally, this time placing some space between them.
"No. But I'm always willing to try new things..."
"You hate me remember?" Logan reminded him, pushing him away fully. Scott tumbled onto his back and watched Logan stalk to the bathroom. He listened to the water turn on and thought about Logan's last statement. /you hate me remember?/ did he really? Just then he had found the man amazingly attractive and at the moment he *did* want sex. But did he really want Logan, or was he seaking for an outlet of a year's worth of celibacy and depression? His head spun and he slowly crawled out of the bed and discarded Logan's clothing before slipping his uniform pants on and gathering the rest of his uniform up in his arms. He spared one glance at the bathroom door and suddenly dropped his clothing again. Not exactly knowing why, he made the bed and folded his borrowed sleepwear neatly before sweeping his clothing up again and leaving the room. The water was still running in the bathroom.
Logan pulled the lever roughly and scalding hot water slid over his shoulders. He *never* thought he would have that kind of conversation with Scott Summers of all people. And worse yet, he found himself hesistating to tell the man to back off. He must really be depraved if he even *considered* considering allowing the man to sleep with him. He should have left the first time he woke up and not allowed Scott to get so close. Logan whimpered; maybe he wasn't so 'not into' guys, if the errection in his fist was anything to go by. It dusturbed him.
Logan had never had a problem with gays-after all, it was stupid for a mutant to have prejudices-but he had never let any man get even remotly intimate with him; not hugs, not kisses, not sex. He had always been satisfied, even a little happy that he could always say he was at least a normal man in his sexual prefrances, if nothing else. This morning had shed doubt on that however.
With a shudder, the Wolverine came into his hand, then he slid to the floor and he wept. It was Scott's face he held in his mind, and Scott's name that jumped to his lips to be whispered to the unhearing tile around him.
When Logan emerged from the bathroom, he was surprised to find his bed neatly made and the clothing he had leant Scott folded and resting on the pillow. Confused and upset, Logan sank to the bed and without thinking, picked the garmets up and buried his face in them. They smelled like he had; sweet and musky like a damp forest, but also cool and clean like fresh fallen snow on the banks of a cool mountain stream. Suddenly throwing the clothing on the floor he cursed the man that was upsetting his life, and he cursed the man that had put him there.
"Damn both of you to hell!" He snapped into the dead air of his room, the sun shinning through the partially opened window, a cool winter breeze dancing with the sunshine. /Just like you and me, Cyke. Your sun shine; warm and open. I'm the winter breeze; cold and unliked. We can dance, but we'll never work; one will always push the other away./ he thought to himself, surprisingly amused as well as disgusted by the poetic thought.
"You don't get it, do you?" Scott asked point blank. "He. Hates. Me." Charles Xavier shook his head.
"No, he doesn't. Nor do you hate him-you just don't know it yet. He's already in bed, you should get there too." his tone said the conversation was over, but Scott plowed on.
"Why exactly do I need to sleep with someone anyway?"
"You'll thank me for this one day. Just trust me Scott." Scott Summers glared at his mentor, his teacher, his leader and his friend, but eventually he consented.
"Fine...but you're going to tell me why your doing this one day too." he warned before stalking out of the room and heading for Logan's.
Dressed in lose dark blue cotton pants and a tight black tanktop, Scott knocked on Logan's door. There was a muffled curse and then heavy footsteps as Logan rolled out of bed and stomped to the door.
"What?!" He hissed jerking it open. He didn't seem particularly pleased to see Scott, but he also didn't look surprised. They glared at eachother for a moment, Scott through his night-visor with the strap firmly in place behind his head. Finally, Logan rolled his eyes and stomped back to bed, leaving the door open.
"No touchy-feely this time." he warned as an after thought, turning his back to Scott who was still in the doorway. Scott glared at the man on the bed for a moment longer, then sighed and stepped through the door, closing it behind him.
Upon scrutinizing his action of the morning during his shower he had been absolutely abhorrid with himself. Not just because he had made a pass at *Logan* of all people, but also because he didn't regret it, and didn't doubt that he would do it again given the chance. He had spent the day scrutinizing the other men in the mansion and found that he wasn't even mildly attracted to them. Nor was he attracted to any of the woman, though he could concied that many *were* attractive. Then he had found Logan in the shop working under a bike of his own. And his heart skipped a beat.
Having come to the conclusion that he was undoubtably attracted to the dark man, he was still trying to come to terms with it. Sighing in resignation he settled on the bed and turned away from the brood back he was being offered a perfect, unobstructed view of as Logan hadn't gotten under the covers. Scott however, was feeling the chill keenly and took a moment to wrestle under the blankets before attempting to sleep.
Logan woke up screaming. Something he had been dreaming had scared him to death; there was only one problem-he didn't remember what he'd been dreaming. Frightened and momentairly disorientated, he looked around the room wildly.
"Logan?" Scott sat up carefully and cautiously wrapped his arms around Logan's chest. "Shhhh...it's okay..." he whispered. Logan looked down on him and for a moment he couldn't for the life of him remember *who* this man was. So, his mind drew the first logical answer; they must be lovers. Breath coming in short ragged gasps, he clutched Scott desperately while he waited for the fog to clear so he could remember *where* he was. "Are you okay Logan?" Okay so that was the second time he'd been called 'Logan' so he assumed that was his name and nodded.
"I am now...thank you...." He managed, struggling for the other man's name and coming up with a null. Scott smiled tenderly and brushed his sweat dampened hair back.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"About what?" Where they having problems in their relationship?
"What you were dreaming about."
"I...I don't remember what I was dreaming....Scott." The name came back, and the rest of it too. They were not lovers, Xavier had put Scott in his room for god alone knows what reason, and Logan wasn't interested in men. He stiffened. Scott pulled him gently back to the bed and though he knew they weren't together, and moreover never would be, Logan lay back with him without protest and let the younger man whisper assurances and stroak his hair. Like it was something he did all the time. He slowly drifted back to sleep, no longer confused on where he was or who he was, but he was confused nonetheless.
Scott was woken suddenly by a heart rendering scream. Logan was sitting up right, panting and looking lost, frightened.
"Logan?" he questioned carefully, not wanting the man to be startled and slash him to shreds. Sure the man at least knew he was there, he slowly sat upright and hesistated but only for a second before wrapping his arms around Logan's chest. "Shhhh...it's okay." Logan looked at him and he was shocked to see his eyes flash with confusion-almost as if he didn't know who Scott was. The older mutant was clutching him as a drowning man clutches life, and Scott was rendered speechless, his heart bleeding at the sight and sound of the obviously frightened and disorientated man. "Are you okay?" he asked gently, giving into the urge to stroak Logan's chest lightly; he didn't even think Logan noticed him doing it.
"I am now...thank you..." he sounded uncertain as if he were searching for something that he couldn't find, and didn't remember what it looked like. Scott was overcome with compassion-for some reason seeing people suffer always struck a chord in him. He pushed Logan's damp hair away from his forehead and smiled incouragingly.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, leaning against Logan's brood shoulder.
"About what?" he seemed suddenly fearful-like a child being asked to discuss an uncomfortable subject.
"What you were dreaming about." Scott supplied gently.
"I...I don't remember what I was dreaming...Scott." Logan struggled for the name, but when he abruptly came up with it, he stiffened. Scott resisted the urge to sigh and pulled him back to the bed, relieved that Logan allowed to him to. Suddenly only wanting Logan to feel safe, he began gently stroaking his hair and whispering soft words to him until he fell asleep. Scott however, was provided no such reprive. He lay awake for many hours and just thought. Thought about his sudden, unexpected attraction to a man he thought he hated. Thought about Jean. Thought about the past year. Thought about the pain and confusion, the hurt and disorintation he'd seen in Logan's eyes. He thought about how good it felt to be in another's arms again.
Logan once again woke to a sense of warmth and unconciously pulled the lithe body against his side closer. Then he remembered who it was and paused for a moment. Swallowing audiably, he looked down at the man he had once considered a rival. He had etched features, handsome ones really, delicate, almost to be considered pretty. Yet there was something so strikingly masculine that Logan doubted anyone would label him with a feminine term. Not even sure *he* knew what he was doing, he leaned down slightly and brushed their lips together so lightly that the sleeping man didn't even stirr.
/He tastes as sweet as he smells.../ he thought absently, leaning to taste those lips again. Scott was waking slowly, so he reluctantly withdrew and waited for him to wake up fully.
"Scott?" he asked quietly when he was fairly sure the other mutant was physically if not mentally awake.
"hmmm...?" he moaned cuddling deeper into Logan's side. Logan let him.
"What colour are your eyes?" he wondered, searching the man's face. Scott's face split into a slow smile.
"Blue." he chuckled softly. "You know what? No one has ever asked me that before. Not even Jean." Logan was mildly surprised.
"She didn't ask what color your eyes were?" Scott shook his head.
"No. That's the thing about living with a telepath. They already know everything about you, so they don't have to ask. Kind of takes the fun out of mutual exploration, you know?" Logan laughed softly and realized that this was the first time Scott had spoken of Jean without breaking down. Suddenly, Scott lifted up on his elbows and looked into Logan's face. Logan let him.
"So...are you still not into men?" he braced himself for a thrashing, but he *had* to ask the question. Surprisingly, Logan only chuckled at him.
"I'm still not into men. Sorry."
"Then why did you kiss me? Twice." Logan lifted one arched eyebrow and considered carefully before answering.
"I wanted to see if you tasted half as good as you smelled and looked." He said finally, shifting to get up. Scott moved so his weight was resting on the other man.
"So, how do I taste?" Logan was once again weary.
"Good....very good." he couldn't help but add that in. Scott was silent for a moment; in this lapse in conversation, Logan moved to get up again.
"It's four in the morning. Don't leave yet..." resigned and begining to get a bit annoyed, Logan stilled again. "I bet..." Scott continued. "I bet I would feel as good as I taste." He looked down at Logan nervously, almost afraid that the other man was going skewer him.
"I bet you would." The Wolverine answered quietly, running a hand up Scott's back and drawing his head down. Their lips met in a tentitive kiss that slowly grew in confindence until their tongues were warring and their limbs were throughly tangled.
"You don't know what you're getting yourself into it..." Logan moaned, pulling away.
"Damnit all! Yes I do! I have an academic knowledge of the physical part and I can wade through the rest of it." Scott wrapped his arms around Logan's chest. "I'm not a child...don't try to protect me." He pleaded softly.
"I don't even have an academic knowledge of any of this!" Logan complained. Scott laughed a little nervously and pulled Logan back to the bed. Moving slowly he stratled Logan's hips, happy to find a full erection press into his back.
"Okay...lubercant..." Logan laughed.
"You're not going to find that around here..." He warned, but Scott had already climbed off the bed with an 'oh yah?' and was padding toward the bathroom.
"Now what the hell is he doing?" Logan cursed softly upon hearing his medicine chest invaded.
"Don't you dare get out of that bed!" Scott called back, his 'leader-voice' that had been absent for over a year in full swing. Logan chuckled, but found himself settling back on the bed.
/Jesus almighty...what am I doing?/ He thought to himself, shifting to get up and leave, but Scott emerged from the bathroom just then and thought left him. The younger man had taken his shirt off and his pants were riding low on his hips. He had a bottle of lotion in his hand and smirk on his face.
"That is *my* lotion." Logan informed him.
"Well...right now, it's lubercant." Scott told him firmly. Logan scowled. "It's your own fault for not having anything that works better." Logan might have responded but Scott had crossed the room and was on the bed. "Now do you seriously have *no* clue what you're doing?" Logan raised an eyebrow.
"I told you I've never..."
"I don't want to if you ever *done* it. I just want to know if you have some basic knowledge of how it's done." Logan thought for a minute. "There was this guy that once explained it to me in loving detail in an attempt to get me bed. I killed him." Scott couldn't help but laugh imagining someone trying to 'seduce' Logan by explain the process...he started laughing harder. "Give me that!" Logan snapped finally. Scott obedantly lay down and watched his soon-to-be lover. "If you laugh at me...I'm going to kill you." He warned. Scott struggled with the fit of laughter bubbling in his chest and nodded. Logan glared at him for a minute longer just for good measure, then tugged his pants down and off. Predictably he had already abandoned whatever underware he had been wearing, and now lay completely naked to Logan's eyes. Scott wreathed under Logan's gaze nervously before finally sitting up and tugging at Logan's tee-shirt.
"No. Lay back down." Scott glared at him, the dark red of his visor glowing brighter.
"Logan..."
"Look...I'm already not completely comfortable with this. Let me do this at my own pace." Scott nodded slowly and lowered himself back to the bed. Satisfied for the time being, Logan opened the orderless bottle of lotion and tipped it into his hand, watching it pool in his palm. Scott watched him intently, eyes narrowing again when a sudden smile split over Wolverine's handsome face. Before he had a chance to ask what he was doing however, Logan tipped his hand and poured the lotion into Scott's navel.
"Jesus! That's cold!" He complained, but then Logan was catiously probbing his entrance. He moaned encouragingly and one finger slowly pushed past the ring of muscle.
"Stop, stop, stop! Wait..." Logan was stock still looking down on him with confusion and concern. "Okay...okay, move." Biting his lip in a curiously endearing manner, Logan carefully moved his finger in an out until it was easy passage and Scott was moaning almost constantly. He dipped the index finger of his other hand into Scott's navel and drew out a hook of lotion which he smoothed on his middle finger while his forefinger still moved in an out of Scott's body. Scott gasped in surprise when a second finger joined the first.
"Stop!" He breathed when he felt Logan's knuckles flush against his skin. "Take them out, take them out!" Confused, Logan drew his fingers out.
"What-?" Scott pulled him into a kiss.
"Okay. Now...I want you inside of me...now."
"Won't that hurt?"
"I don't care. I want you inside of me when I come." Logan's breath came in shallower gasps and he made no move to fill the request.
"I....Scott, I don't know if I can do this...I-I don't want to hurt you..." Scott silenced protest with a kiss.
"*I* want you to. Logan...please...do you think *I'm* not scared? In the last two days I've suddenly become attracted to a man I thought I hated...don't you think that frightens *me*? I'm scared Logan...but I want this...I want you and I don't even know why. I just do." Logan swollowed hard and knelt between Scott's spread legs. The man under him nodded encouragingly and pulled his legs up against his chest. Logan stalled again and reached foreword.
"Close your eyes." He warned, pulling at the visor. When it didn't come off, Scott raised his head and unbuckled the safty strap.
"Why-?" he questioned, still holding them in place.
"Because I want to see your face-all of it."
"You're not afraid?"
"No." After another second, Scott released the visor and Logan pulled it off, setting it aside. Logan just stared at him and realized that he'd never seen Scott without his visor.
"Now your just stalling...." Scott whined and Logan laughed a little. Holding the base of his straing erection he carefully pushed into Scott's body.
Scott screamed and Logan stopped moving. Scott clutched at the bedding.
"Give me my visor..." he panted. Logan reluctantly retrieved the eyewear and handed it back to him. Forcing his body to remain still against his extincts that said to just thrust into the heat underneath him. Fingers trembling, Scott attached the familiar apparel and opened his eyes to look up at Logan.
"Slow...." He moaned. Logan nodded, closing his eyes in something not unlike pain but more akin to pleasure. He carefully pushed further into the body beneath him until he was seated flush between Scott's hips. "Oh...oh heavenly god...I'm not going to live through this...." Scott moaned, encouraging Logan to move.
It took only a few thrusts with Logan stimulating his prostrate on each stroak for Scott to come. Logan followed him; his claws extending into the bed on either side of Scott's head and screaming as he came.