We've
All Gone Saucer-Happy! There
can be no doubt that the UFO phenomenon is a fascinating subject. Some of
us are so enthusiastic about it that it drives us crazy. Intoxicated by
the stimulation, passion and richness of this discipline, the joys of
ufology sometimes drives us nuts. That's when we become "saucer
happy". Doña
María is a resident of Vigo (Galicia) in her fifties. A fan of space, UFOs
and the Beyond, she has spent many years reading all kinds of magazines
and books on esoteric lore--an interest she combines with her great
passion for the pink press. I wasn't surprised to find that on that summer
morning in 1992, my companions from the Vigo Center for Psychobiophysical
Research should be so interested in my meeting her. Doña María presented
herself as a consummate psychographic contactee, placing at our disposal
dozens of notebooks filled with psychographic messages and mediumistic
drawings. Doña María, like many other contactees, claimed that alien
beings had infiltrated all walks of human society. Some of them even posed
as very popular personalities--a fact stressed by numerous contactees and
even certain researchers... Doña
María, as with many other contactees, entered into trance states through
telepathic communication with her "extraterrestrial guides", whom despite
being infiltrated in terrestrial society, could still transmit their
messages to the Galician contactee through psychography or telepathy. And
we were on the verge of witnessing a demonstration. Spellbound, we waited
for the guide to tune into the contactee to transmit his message. Finally,
after intense concentration, Doña María began to receive the message:
"Hey! No vayas presumiendo por ahi.." Dumbfounded, we discovered
that her alien source wasn't Oxalc, nor Ashtar Sheran, nor Adoniesis or
any of the "known" ET guides--it turned out to be Julio Iglesias. Because
according to Doña Maria, Julio Iglesias was one of those infiltrated
aliens. Swamped with intense emotion, we heard the communication: the
Spanish crooner's lyrics reached us brimming over with messages, according
to Doña María's interpretation. It was then that I understood, after many
years of intense pondering, what it was that Isabel Preisler had seen in
Julio: it wasn't that he'd seduced her--rather, like any good alien, he
had abducted her in order to artificially inseminate her! Julio Iglesias
fans now know the secret to his success...he was conceived by alien sperm.
I'm convinced that Budd Hopkins would treat this information with the
weight it so rightly deserved... This
was neither the first nor the last time I would witness "alien contacts"
of this sort. Because the number of infiltrated aliens in our society is
something to see. Valencia-based contactee Vera Kallas provided me a
no-less extraordinary revelation, which took place during the filming of a
TV series and right in front of the cameras! I still have this tape as a
most valuable piece of evidence regarding the presence of aliens in our
world. While I interviewed Vera about her paranormal experiences, she
suddenly fell into a trance. An anonymous communicator began transmitting
information through the contactee: the face of researcher Vicente Moros,
who was present at the session, mirrored my own perplexity. Finally, the
startling "guide" presented himself: "Hello! I'm Carl Sagan..." Well,
I thought, it sure is easy that way. I'm not surprised that Sagan received
so many awards for his COSMOS show--if he's an alien, he's got it licked.
Who'd dare teach him anything about the universe?... It's
Tough Being A Contactee Who
says there's no evidence that we're being visited by aliens? Carlos Jesús
leads a group of UFO believers in the town of Dos Hermanas (Seville). His
communications and messages became widely known throughout Spain through
the popular science show "Al Ataque", hosted by Alfonso Arús. Thanks to
the cameras of Antena-3, all of Spain was able to watch alien beings--such
as "Christopher from Zeta Raticulin" -- possess Carlos Jesús and transmit
their messages station-to-station. Moreover, even "Mikael", the alien from
Ganymede itself, or even Jesus Christ, spoke to the world through the
contactee from Seville---of course, preserving the Sevillian accent
corresponding to the body of the person they'd possessed. Carlos
Jesús bears on his body, like many other contactees and abductees, the
proof of his contact. And if other UFO abductees have received an alien
implant in the nape of their necks or in their nasal passages, Carlos
Jesús carries in the big toe of his right foot a "micro-transmitter" able
to fire a billion megawatt energy beam (a textual quote). So, skeptics
beware! Don't mess around with Carlos Jesús-Mikael-Christopher, since
aliens have placed the power of Divine Justice in his hands...I mean, his
feet. Abraham,
Elijah, Jesus, Moses, the Eternal Father, Antar Zeran, the Virgin Mary,
etc. are some of the extraterrestrials (?) able to possess Carlos Jesús
and speak through him: "I will now exhale three times," says Carlos
Jesús three times before going into trance, "and my voice will change
completely...puff, puff, puff...Hello, my voice is no longer the same, I
have descended from a spacecraft and straight into this body. Now I am
Antar Zeran..." Millions
of viewers shared with me the excitement of that moment, following the
contactee's touching possession by higher powers. Being
a contactee is hard work. Never mind carrying a micro-transmitter in his
big toe -- which causes poor Carlos Jesús to spend a fortune in sneakers,
since every time the beam fires there isn't any manmade footwear that can
withstand it: there are awful arguments between contactee and contactor
which sometimes jeopardize the former's physical integrity. A
few years ago, over fifty million viewers were able to witness how an
alien took over the body of a contactee--live and in color--on the stage
of "Esta Noche Cruzamos el Mississippi". The stage of Tele-5 turned into a
makeshift parapsychological laboratory and a landing platform for Astenon,
a resident of Ganymede (a world having an excess population of
super-evolved beings, it would seem), who would transmit his important
messages through Miguel Algarra, his channeler. Before dumbfounded
spectators, Miguel Algarra engaged in a terrible struggle with Astenon,
who possessed him without asking for permission, and would also slap him
around...or rather, Miguel would slap himself around. It was merely a
matter of sharing the limelight, since according to Astenon, the folks on
Ganymede watched Pepe Navarro's show all the time, and understandably, the
alien guide wanted to say hi to everyone back home, if only the jerk of a
contactee would quit hogging the camera. All of Spain and part of
Freakistan thrilled to the experience, and Lucas Grijalder himself, faced
by such an eloquent incident of alien contact, summed up in a nutshell the
essence of many similar messages: "You sound about as clear as
Chewbacca..." Making
Love To No One At All If
Carlos Jesús became famous thanks to his appearances on "Al Ataque", the
cameras of the equally stern "La Noche Prohibida" program granted stardom
to 49-year old contactee José Verdún, better known as Penumbra. Penumbra,
to whom the aliens gave a pyramid stone of magnificent powers, perhaps as
payment for his carnal services, is the only contactee who recites his
messages with bulerías (Andalusian songs accompanied with
clapping and dancing--Ed.). No more monotonous Oui-Ja sessions, boring
psychographies or redundant telepathic messages--Penumbra gives his
messages a brighter tone by reciting them in prose or in rhyme, or ripping
into a fandango using texts revealed by the "space guides". Like a true
pioneer of the cosmic cante hondo, he recites as he claps his
hands: "I'm a dying madman/with a world on my mind/of talking
butterflies/and trees that sigh..." Precisely. A dying madman with talking
butterflies in his head...he says. Penumbra
isn't the only human who's had the good fortune of enjoying close
contact--I mean very close contact--with extraterrestrials. Copulation
between humans and aliens is hardly circumscribed to the males. Karol, a
well-known Catalan parapsychologist, was the victim of sexual harassment
by a beautiful but libidinous extraterrestrial. Karol, who was up in
years, could not longer endure the alien's unbridled passion as he got
between the exhausted contactee's sheets night after night. Anguished over
the spaceman's nightly visits, Karol appealed to a distinguished Barcelona
hypnotist for help, and after a few sessions of hypnosis, the alien rapist
vanished for good. Weeks later, Karol returned to hypnotist to ask him for
a solution to her new quandary. Now she missed the nightly visits of her
cosmic friend. "Couldn't something be done to make him come once a
week?" The
Osteratrix Report In
the town of Antequera, contactee Rafael Sánchez is at the center of a
significant case of E.T. contact which recently achieved significant
political implications. Rafael has discovered the secret behind alien
technology, since the aliens are coming to Earth from the planet
"Arcolobus" on what appear to be large flying carpets some five meters
long and which operate on advanced technology. Aladdin knew what he was
doing. Through
his messages, Rafael Sánchez has learned that thousands of asteroids will
collide against the Earth in July 1998, devastating the planet (this
prophecy, not a very precise one, was made in mid-Nineties). For this
reason, he devoted himself to building a spaceship that would allow him to
escape the Apocalypse. After
making several designs, mock-ups and tests, Rafael Sanchez has managed to
build a prototype of his spaceship using...a motor from a blender. He
immediately wrote Spanish prime minister Jose María Aznar to warn him of
the danger facing Spain and the planet as a whole, offering his technical
services to prepare the evacuation of the planet aboard his blender-ships.
Amazingly, prime minister Aznar has not replied to his mail. Could the
P.P. be engaged in some sort of pact with the Osterizer company to develop
the life-saving craft? Could the infamous CESID papers contain the key to
transforming our appliances into Flying Saucers? Are the aliens
right-wingers? We are assailed by terrible doubts. In
the light of the bizarre revelations made by contactees like Penumbra,
Doña María, Carlos Jesús or Rafael Sánchez, we would finally be in a
position to unveil the secrets of the UFO. In 1999, after more than fifty
years of dealing with the UFO phenomenon, researchers all over the world
are finally in a position to understand the mystery: Julio Iglesias and
Carl Sagan came in from Zeta Raticulin aboard blender-ships to paint the
town and sign a secret pact with José María Aznar while they were at it.
And if it was the "Matrix Report" that blew the whistle in the United
States, the "Osteratrix Report" will do much the same in Spain. The truth is out there. It's just a little mixed up.
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