Kenneth Cheung's secrets to dieting
1. Think of anything but food.
2. Think of all the starving people in the world.
3. Think of all the money you could save if you did not buy food.
4. Imagine how fat you would be.
5. Believe that you will end up like other fat people.
6. Imagine yourself buying bigger clothes.
7. Think of how short your life would be with clogged arteries.
8. Having a lot of blubber makes you highly flammable.
9. It takes more energy to move a larger mass.
10. Sometimes it feels good to be a Pillsbury dough boy, sometimes it is not.
11. You can avoid buying two seats on a airline for yourself.
12. Clothes do not make a person look fat: fat makes a person look fat.
13. It is easier to escape from trouble if you are thinner.
14. You become more athletic with less weight.
13. Imagine having fun with the scale.
14. Think of eating food that tastes disgusting.
15. Eat food that you do not like.
16. Eat a lot of the same food until you get sick of it.
17. Imagine having less sensitive skin with a layer of fat covering you.
18. Repent for your sins by fasting.
19. Clean your house to burns some calories.
20. Ride a bike instead of driving.
22. Run if possible.
23. Think of how your food was prepared in a restaurant, especially when the
waiter is in a bad mood.
24. Imagine how the animal on your plate died
25. If vegetarian, imagine how many bugs, mice, and rabbits succumbed to the
combine during harvesting.
26. The FDA sets a minimum standard to the number of rat hairs allowed in a
candy bar.
27. Chemically processed foods are not necessarily good for your health.
28. Obey YOUR thirst, not some millionaire who does not give a damn about you.
29. Bend your knees, not your back.
30. Surround yourself by thin people.
31. If you are obese, you might as well smoke, because it is not going to make
any difference in your lifespan
32. Stop going to restaurants; they serve you lard anyways.
05.19.2007