| THOUGHTS|

INNERGARDEN2.0

other thought : straight edge isn't cool anymore

more thought coming soon!

 

AS TIME FLIES....LIFE’S CHANGE 

          Hardcore has been the biggest part in my life for years. I don’t quite remember when it started. I just remember i’ve never been that excited about new stuff. Since that all of my life changed. All things around me is mainly about hardcore. Friends I often hangout with is most of all hardcore kids. Stuff I heard is mainly hardcore music. My favorit reading are no other than hardcore zines.

          I always proud & happy being hardcore kid and be apart of hardcore scene. I recall had this conversation with a [hardcore] friend of mine about how our life would be the next ten or fifteen years. He said perhaps he would’ve been a father with several children, nice house and living a perfect normal live. He said he wouldn’t be surprised if that day he would completely forgetting hardcore. Im shock to heard his word. How could he forget something that have become the biggest part of his life just like that?! When it’s my turn to say mine, I said confidently “the next ten years I probably already had a record label with several releases, great band and completely still living unnormal hardcore live!”. After saying that I promised myself I would never leave hardcore.

          It’s not just my friend’s words that make me wonder. I always confused to those people who walk out from hardcore just because they had full time job or getting married or [this one doesn’t make any sense to me] they had girl/boyfriend. I thought maybe for them hardcore was only a music. Far beyond its implicit purpose as movement, bond of friendship and way of life. I do had those time where hardcore seems to be boring. But that was just its music. Never its scene.

 

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Arogance thought I write above is my own personal thought back then when im so immature and bold about hardcore [maybe I am still right now?]. But as time pass by theres so much thing come and go in my life. As im getting mature and grown up then I realize there’s so much problem in this life to be concern about. I then experience those hard time which make me realize that this life is tough. During that hard time beyond my intention I put hardcore step aside from my life. My mind is branching to solve life problem I have to face day by day as my age getting older. This is the point where I finally can fully understand why someone leave hardcore because they had a full time job or getting married. Everyone need a tool to make them happy. If hardcore as a tool do can make them happy but cant be used to solve life’s problem then they will search another tool that could. If their job or their family can then it would be no wonder if they then let hardcore go.

I then also experince thing everyone called falling in love. So I know exactly how’s the feeling to be in love. If your world used to be merely about hardcore.....it will turn upside down when you’re in love. Your world will all about her/him. You probably would still think about your band, your zine or your label but as she/he slowly take your world then those thing wouldn’t be your priority anymore. By the time it happen it’ll be completely normal if you choose to go out with your boy/girlfriend instead of having fun with your friends in a hardcore show. And by the time goes by.....your’re not gonna realize that you’re leaving hardcore behind already.

Sometimes we never really care about reasons behind why someone changed. The only thing we do is just judge them for not being themselves anymore. I never have any plan to leave hardcore scene but I cant promised myself it wont be happen. I had realized things can change beyond your expectation and beyond your strength. Now I can understand why someone drop their edge or why someone leave hardcore scene just because their new girlfriend/boyfriend. You cant force a thing if it’s no longer fit anymore. So I regret those bad thought about why someone not being hardcore or straight edge anymore. You cant just judge people. You don’t know any reasons why they make those decision. Now I cant confidently say “the next ten years I probably already had a record label with several releases, great band and completely still living unnormal hardcore live!”. But who knows??? If my soulmate is someone in hardcore scene then those word just might become true....hehehe.