Another year wasted
the bonk
28 September 2004 -- After a some major riding Wed, running Fri, and street hockey Sun, I was hit hard with the effects of overtraining during ice hockey Mon night. Exacerbated by just 5 hours of sleep, my legs were burning after only the warm-up, and it was downhill from there. After about three shifts my legs were screaming, and had the game continued one minute longer than it did, I think I would've pulled my groin, as I could feel the tears gradually building up. Waking up on Tues, it felt like there was still lactic acid in my legs. Silly as I am, I hope to go running again on Thursday.
 number games
22 September 2004 -- The other night I glanced down at the odometer in the mini-van and read the following mileage: "101010". Too binary, I thought. On a related but not-so-related line of thought, today I did my first bicycle commute since starting work. Round-trip time was roughly 2:22, which was pleasantly surprising considering my long layoff.
 be all you can be
21 September 2004 -- If my goal is to become a better person each day than I was on the previous day, have I really lived up to it? Definitely there have been countless days of personal growth. But everyday? I suppose if it were so easy, then there'd be nothing to strive for. And if we try with real sincerity to fulfill this loftly ideal, then in doing so we are in fact already halfway there, or perhaps even more than halfway.
 old man back
10 September 2004 -- Ok this is what I want: a chin-up bar in my room. I won't be doing too many chin-ups, however. I merely want to hang upside down from it for about 15 minutes a day, to reverse the effects of gravity on my spine. Yeah, I have an old man back. And I can only do about 3 chin-ups.
 ...
5 September 2004 >-- Sigh.
 emergency
20 August 2004 -- This is a test of the emergency broadcasting system. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
 i wish they all could be california girls
14 August 2004 -- I'm back. I was away on a trip for 2 weeks, and since coming back I haven't been able to get back into the swing of things. Still remembering beautiful La Jolla. Twas my kind of place: warm and dry, sunny, easy going, bicycle-friendly, health conscious, yoga infested, with excellent food. How can one ask for any more?
 what time is it mr. wolf?
20 July 2004 -- I'm well past the point of being annoyed by internet pop-up ads. These days I just reflexively close them, sometimes without noticing. Today, however, I noticed just how stupid some of these "advertisements" can be. Viz, "Your computer clock may be wrong!". I defy you to name one reason why I would care.
 not hemorrhoids
18 July 2004 -- Agh the itching. I don't think you can sympathise unless you've tried it. And trust me you don't want to try it!
 a star is born
16 July 2004 -- Yesterday I went for the longest jog of my entire life. It lasted 31 minutes. I'm not going to say whether or not you're supposed to be laughing now. Well, if you're laughing, then I say: quack quack! Oops, I meant oink oink.
 don't try this at home
14 July 2004 -- So today I discovered, among other things, that you can run your keyboard through the shower and still be able to use it afterwards. Well, kinda.
 fat dust mites
13 July 2004 -- I'm seriously experimenting with gaining weight through diet and training. Latest measurement shows 156 lbs. after my midnight meal. So far all I've really noticed is that I look (and feel) bloated all the time from the more frequent eating. In another unrelated experiment, I made a major effort yesterday to reduce the dust mite population in my living quarters. This involved much vacuuming, ironing, freezing, and wiping of items to kill and/or remove the microscopic hyperallergenic critters. Will report back on the results of my experimentations in near future.
 some might say that we should never ponder
9 July 2004 -- Days seem to be approaching and passing a bit to quickly for my liking. Meanwhile, some things are happening much too slowly...
 call me stubborn
27 June 2004 Part II-- Finally I've put a finger on why I adamantly refuse to join the cell phone-toting masses. (Or, more likely, I've at last dreamed up a presentable excuse for my stubbornness.) The main thing that irks me about cellular phones is the consumerism that's involved. We're talking about the manufacture of needs, of status, of interactions, of trends, and of lifestyles. Included are sometimes snobbishness and often poor etiquette. These are aspects not (yet?) justifiable by the practical benefits offered by cell phones, and I do not wish to be financially bound to behaviours and ideologies -- ok maybe ideologies is stretching it -- that I don't believe in. I am not anti-progress or anti-technology by any means, as well-demonstrated by the rapid adaptation and integration into my life of other communications technologies -- email, instant messaging, etc. -- far in advance of societal trends and even awareness. But the cell phone is a different kind of animal, whose advent has not always been driven by pragmatic motives. I'm sure one day I will succumb, but for now stand firm.
 ...
27 June 2004 -- diemcoquewrydsnmeroqpd[zm.z,mweu. So there.
 raymond ho rankings
25 June 2004 -- If search engines can be reliably used for demographics, then I feel very very unaccomplished compared to others of my namesake. Using my name as search keywords reveals that the other Raymond Ho's in the world are pretty darned successful -- lawyers, company chairmans, many Dr. Raymond Ho's, some Hon. Raymond Ho's. And what about me? I have a stupid web page that shows me sprawled on the carpet.
 hallelujah
18 June 2004 -- So today I officially received my degree. Ho hum. It occurs to me that some of my supposedly most momentous moments [bad alliteration!] have passed without much personal exultation. Every day is just another day in the life. Perhaps that's why when asked "What's new?" my response is usually very bland, although interesting things happen to me every day.
 i pretend to speak french
16 June 2004 -- Si j'étais Quebecois peut-etre je voterais pour le Bloc, not because I'd support separation, but to stand up for the the province's unique place in Confederation. After watching the leaders' debate, I concluded that Gilles Duceppe was the most coherent and focussed of the party leaders. His questions were the most direct, poignant, and piercing, his answers the most unequivocal, and his vision the most unmistakable. He sold me, and in his second language to boot. M. Duceppe even added a rare and welcome bit of wit. On the subject of national defence:
Harper: I believe in the sovereignty of Canada.
Duceppe: So do I.
-- and later,
Duceppe: It takes a separatist to get two federalists to talk to each other.
 booop
15 June 2004 -- Oooooooooooooooooof!
26 May 2004 -- Have to go pee...
 Liberals damage my back -- and my liver
18 May 2004 -- DOWN WITH THE GRITS! The Ontario Liberals released their first budget today. Among the highlights (lowlights?):
1. New health-care premium $300-$900 a year.
2. Most eye exams, physiotherapy and chiropractic services to be no longer covered by health plan.
3. Case of beer going up 45 cents and wine 15 cents.
Ouch ouch ouch.
Remark #1 - I'm looking for a permanent job now and before I even start work, I'm informed that I'll be docked at least $300. Oh joy.
Remark #2 - As the wear on my 90-year-old back accumulates, I have been contemplating more and more each day seeking professional assistance. See, I would be able to pay for that myself, except that I've just been stripped of $300.
Remark #3 - Ok now since I can't afford therapy, I'll just use beer as a cheaper remedy. This will also help me forget about paying all those taxes. Oh wait...crap. Talk about rubbing salt in a wound!
It seems that in setting this budget, the government has followed a doctrine of "How can insaneray be most afflicted?" GRR.
 wise words
16 May 2004 -- "Nobody is listening until you fart."
 geeky thoughts
14 May 2004 -- I think it's time to unleash all the delusional remarks that have been harboured on my PDA for the past several months. Will paste below... you have been warned.
04/3/3 23:07 (clie) -- Teeheehee. The other day I saw a lady pull a small teddy bear from her purse, cup it to her ear, and start talking into its belly. At last, a cell phone accessory that I appreciate!
04/2/17 19:25 (clie) -- Confidence is knowing that you're right without feeling the need to say anything about it.
04/2/23 17:54 (clie) -- I had a dream (nightmare?!) recently about shear stresses in beams. Something must be troubling me, and I know exactly what it is.
 in mourning
5 May 2004 -- The Leafs are toast again. 'Twas a cruel fate suffered yet again, made even more cruel because I truly believed that the suffering would end this year; I had a sense of conviction like never before that we would finally reach the promised land. Alas, we, the followers of this religion, are a woeful bunch. But our time will come. I still be-Leaf.
 diana and elvis
28 April 2004 -- Diana Krall's performance at Union Station - I guess I should write about this one because I was there today. I was even within spitting distance of Ms. Krall and hubby Elvis Costello when they made their entrance (though after that I was herded with everone else to the far back of the hall to see the performance). That was the most thrilling part. The actual performance was nothing breathtaking, mainly due to the terrible acoustics of a train station! That, and the whole atmosphere of the thing, the poor logistics, the television crews... these things were just the exact opposite of the intimate setting required for jazz music. In the Great Hall of Union Station, Diana Krall seemed out of place. Well, Jann Arden also seemed out of place interviewing her, but I got something out of it (although I couldn't understand a single word of it, again due to the horrendous reverberation in the hall). From the way she spoke and the way she carried herself, you could see that her music really reflects her personality and vice versa. Overall for me, twas a good introduction to Diana Krall, and I would definitely want to see her perform again - but just not at a train station.
 woe is me
25 April 2004 -- Because I want your pity/insight/indifference, here's a list of my current chronic physical ailments: stiff lumbar; knotted spasm-prone lower right lumbar; apparently displaced nerves in both ankles causing numbness and/or tingling sensations; right wrist pops upon bending; right shoulder crickety cracks when arm is brought across body; right hip flexor easily strained (probably related to the right lumbar problem). The list is growing steadily. I wonder if I'll still be able to walk when I turn 30. Any suggestions?
 return on investment
8 April 2004 -- Today I made a very nice transaction. I returned two cases of beer bottles, and with the hefty reward that the beer store guy gave me, I walked next door to the Dollarama and bought two CDs. Tchaikovsky and Bernstein. So you see, drinking beer has its perks.
 a nice problem to have?
19 February 2004 -- "Hot for Teacher: when sex-crazed undergrads are infatuated with you." I read an article thus titled today, which reports that teaching assistants across the country often have problems with students having crushes on them. One TA resorted to wearing a false wedding ring in order to fend off these advances. All the while, I was thinking to myself, "how come I don't have this problem?" Well, I guess it's cuz I'm a true professional... yah, um, that's the reason. Anyway, the article appeared in The Peer Review, which proclaims to be "Canada's graduate student magazine". Yes, quite nerdy. And until it landed on my doorstep 2 days ago, I didn't even know it existed.
 ray says
9 February 2004 -- Laying claim to wisdom is a sure sign that you don't have a whole lot of it.
 "may contain lethal doses of peanuts, 100 times out of 100"
04/2/4 17:46 (clie) -- "May contain traces of peanuts or other nuts." Just look what overzealousness has done to us. This is a common-enough label, to be sure, but it now finds its way on to packages of *actual* nuts. I don't mean cookies or candy bars here; I'm talking about clear plastic tubs of nuts. The packaging clearly indicates "mixed nuts" or "coated peanuts", and for heaven's sake, you can see the damn nuts without opening the package. The silly warning label is in fact almost misleading. Traces?! Heck, this package is brimming with honkin big whole nuts! Geez.
 hacking
3 February 2004 -- Today's bout of freezing rain and the like prompted me to stay home, rather than waste 5 hours in commuting. As a grad student I guess I have that luxury. Anyway, it's the first such weather occurence this winter season as far as I know, and it reminded me of a terrible few days of weather we had in March 2003. While not terribly cold then, mother nature gave us not snow, but wonderfully annoying ice pellets. Ice pellets packed mercilessly on roads and driveways. Looked like snow all right, except that one could walk over it as if walking on water. I remember trying to shovel that stubborn stuff - no human-powered shovel stood a chance. After an hour of back-breaking work, I had managed to clear a path of about 10 square metres. My dad took up the task the next day, wielding an axe like a lumberjack to chop up the massive sheets of ice. I'm suprised nobody called the cops to report an axe-toting maniac romping around in front of our house...
 life's questions
29 January 2004 -- What makes something funny? What is humour? I have thought about this often and I cannot come up with an answer. ribbit.
 if you have a big butt, watch out
04/1/21 18:19 (clie) -- Bubbly butt, fat ass, huge rump... I've come up with another anatomical term of endearment: booster seat. It came about when, riding the subway, a little stumpy lady sat down beside me. She was much shorter than me, but somehow when seated, the top of her head hovered several inches above mine. A quick glance over revealed the secret of her power: buttocks so aptly padded that they served as a built-in booster seat.
google this!
20 January 2004 -- A most recent google of "insaneray" reveals that I am again being mocked. Needless to say, my page is not listed. In addition to the usual suspects, the search results give a link to the AA page of an ex-girlfriend! GRR!
 for your elightenment...
19 January 2004 -- Here's a rare daytime entry. Sorry, but it'll have to be brief. The end.
 need more...
14 January 2004 -- Happee new year! No I'm not late, cuz I meant that for Chinese new year. Um yeah, that's what I meant. What do girls and a good night's sleep have in common? ... Both are currently beyond my grasp. Moral of the story: eat more fibre.
 all men are created equal
03/12/19 10:54 (clie) -- What a dinosaur French President Jacques Chirac has proven himself to be. The impending ban on religious symbols in schools brings to mind one word which we all learned when studying some of the darker regimes in world history: oppression. I am not religious, not by a long shot, but I do respect and moreover value my fellow human beings' rights to live freely and their rights to be individuals.
      What the looming legislation fails to recognise is that for many people, the separation between the secular and the religious is impossible. The religion, the culture, and the person are often one and the same. Assuming that the Christian model applies for all people is either absurdly naïve or stubbornly narrow-minded.
      Disallowing an individual to wear their traditional garments or other accessories is a degrading attack on that individual. Might as well force vegetarians to eat meat while we're at it. If you want to live in a country that respects you as an individual and values the uniqueness you contribute through your culture, then surely France cannot be your destination.
      Lastly, I would like to add that in seeing the responses of some readers in the Toronto Star, I was highly apalled and disappointed by the number of "go back where you belong" sentiments expressed. This, in famously multi-cultural Toronto. I guess we have ways to go yet.
 some nonsense
16 Decemeber 2003 -- 0316h. Ahh it was one of those days. Mind numbing slavery sandwiched between fleeting moments of dreaminess. A morning session helping young kids... twas refreshing, invigorating to see the uncarved block (or the semi-carved block) is not just a poetic creation. Then back on the subway to ride once again into oblivion, back to the familiar hazy daze. Tick tock click clack. Stumbling into the streets after the customary eternity, feeling my way through burgers and lattes, emerging eventually in a comparative sanctuary. And the reality returns, not the everyday, but the reality we long for, of vibrance, sincerity, and togetherness. Dreaming not of what is grand, but of what really is. Stealing the slightest glimpse into the essence of life. Fond farewells.
      I was walking home in the dead of night. Not a creature was stirring, save the occasional car. But in their absence, I could hear with crystal clarity the snow crunching beneath my shoes. The quiet, cold, and crisp air was enlivening. Tis the reason I still am not tired. Sometimes all we desire is to exist outside the conundrum, even for a fleeting moment. Thus spoke a silly boy.
13 Decemeber 2003 -- Sniffle sniffle sniffle. That's the worst part about winters.
6 Decemeber 2003 -- Hello. I was going to write something, but had my thoughts disrupted and it's freezing cold here and now I have to go eat something. Maybe later I will be more composed.
 tidbits on the go
2 Decemeber 2003 -- Dammit, December already. Let's see what's in the ol' grab bag...
03/11/26 6:23 pm (clie) -- For an activity that is often more entertaining than people-watching, try people-watcher-watching. For example, when one of those eye-catching ladies walks past, pay particular attention to the manneurisms of certain female bystanders. It's all very interesting.
03/11/25 6:17 pm (clie) -- "What to say when you talk to yourself." 'Tis the heading on a page of a book that some dude sitting beside me on the subway is reading. Hmm, interesting.
03/11/24 7:02 pm (clie) -- Riled up over nothing. I want chips.
03/11/19 12:25 am (clie) -- Aaaahhh, what a feeling! What a rush! Just proves the merits of beer.
03/11/17 5:49 pm (clie) -- Mood changes perception. On an unrelated note: ow my knees!
03/11/17 11:05 am (clie) -- On the bus/subway this morning, people seemed to be playing musical chairs.
 get shot up
03/11/13 6:59 pm (clie) -- In discussing at the dinner table the reluctance of some towards getting a flu shot, I thought of something truly brilliant. How 'bout we make the flu vaccine the *only* OHIP-subsidised type of flu treatment? Well, of course, if you get the flu even after being vaccinated, then your treatment should be covered. But if you catch it because you refused a shot, then you - not the other taxpayers - should pay for your own pig-headedness. By the way, "pig head" is a rather odd metaphor, wouldn't you agree?
 the dreamy type
03/11/13 6:08 pm (clie) -- Perhaps I am too idealistic. My professor gave me one of those lamenting "when I was young, I believed in honesty & integrity. But..." talks the other day, and it made me think a little. My parents have always hinted (and sometimes not even so subtly) that I am too dreamy, and as a result not adequately shrewd or pragmatic. But really, have I missed out on anything because of supposedly lofty ideals? Has it hurt me? Maybe, but not in ways that have caused regret. The way I see it, better to be too idealistic, than to be at the other end of the spectrum. I always remember the priest who "rescued" Jean-Valjean from a vicious cycle of crime & poverty - he never locked his doors, and no harm ever came to him. And I don't buy the notion that idealism implies vulnerability.
 sometimes we have too much time
12 November 2003 -- WOOOO!!! From Environment Canada: AVERTISSEMENT DE VENT MAINTENU. Jeudi .. Nuageux avec percées de soleil. 60 pour cent de probabilit?d'averses de pluie se changeant en averses de neige en matinée et cessant en soirée. Vents du nord-ouest de 50 km/h avec rafales ?80 augmentant ?60 avec rafales ?110 vers midi . Maximum de 5 avec températures diminuant ?moins 1 en soirée. Bring it!!
 and sometimes not quite enough
9 November 2003 -- I would like to comment on punctuality. To me, it is a great measuring stick of personality, for it shows that somebody respects your time as you have respected theirs. Can anyone argue against such mutual respect? Meanwhile, perennial tardiness points to the fact that one is either terribly disorganised, and/or they selfishly place a higher value on their time than on that of others. Even if one does not mean it to be selfish, such is nevertheless implied through the act of being late; actions speak loudest.
      By the way, we are voting again tomorrow. Do you know who your candidates are? If not, see (way) below for indictments. Cheers!
 eureka
03/11/5 2:37 pm (clie) -- Genius is 99% sleep deprivation and 1% coffee.
 mission impossible
4 November 2003 -- Dun, dun, deh deh, dun, dun, deh deh. It's not a doctored image either.
mission impossible dreams and thoughts and memories
03/10/31 9:26 am (clie) -- Yet another skating dream last night: this time my special power was the ability to manouvere & twirl on a single wheel. Wheee! The interesting thing about all these fantasies is that they do not covet superhuman abilities; given some practice, it's all within reach.
31 October 2003 -- I have been recording random thoughts on my PDA recently. These are easy to relay on to this website. So here comes some verbal diarrhea. You have been warned.
03/10/30 8:09 pm (clie) -- For whatever reason, I just had a flashback to Stephanie getting pee on her hand from a "wet" seat at the IMAX theatre in Taiwan. ^_^
03/10/30 7:53 pm (clie) -- I am trying to describe in words how two hours of my life were just wasted because somebody who lives inside a bubble didn't realise that I don't live in that same bubble. Well, I guess that's to be expected from someone who lives in a bubble. Was that description good enough?
03/10/28 5:38 pm (clie) -- Suddenly, I feel in control. Still, distressed, mind you, but in control.
03/10/28 12:09 pm (clie) -- "The weight on one's shoulders" is a phrase that aptly describes many a difficult predicament. For me, however, I feel this weight more in the heart; rather than burdened, it is as if I feel unsettled, which in my mind is a far worse state of being. And today is one of those days in which something weighs heavily on my heart. Actually it is just a couple of almost trivial matters, but for some reason they bother me greatly.
 common sense
03/10/25 6:25 pm (clie) -- The law here stipulates that persons under the age of 18 must wear head protection while riding a bicycle. Too bad it's impossible to enforce; I see far too many kids zipping around without helmets or worse, riding with their helmets dangling from the handlebars. By the way, anybody who wishes to argue the virtues of *not* wearing a helmet should not be allowed to own any sort of vehicle.
 growing pains
19 October 2003 -- Maybe my standards have gotten higher, or maybe I really did play like crap today. I dunno..just didn't feel right. Anyway, my back is now in the usual post-workout condition of tense and sore. I really can't fathom getting older like this, since age isn't renowned for healing one's back. >_<
 stop. ok now try it using the brakes.
14 October 2003 -- Whoever coined the phrase "rolling stop" must've ran through a helluva lot of stop signs. Oxymoron! The pairing of the two words is a veiled - and unfortunately often successful - attempt to draw attention away from the complete wrongness of rolling through an intersection. Stop! In the name of the law!
not insane enough
10 October 2003 -- I'm certain that one of the reasons nobody visits here is cuz I don't get listed in search engine results. I just tried googling "insaneray" and hmm what popped up? Well let's see: something I posted on halfbakery, my yahoo photos, some other dude named insaneray, and schmellypig's guestbook, of all things! What's up with that, man? Maybe my name doesn't appear enough on this page to get picked up as a keyword. insaneray insaneray rayrayrayray raymond ho is insane raymond raymond insane raymond ray ho insanity insaneray eats ice cream INSANERAY !!!!!
 your civic duty
4 October 2003 -- 0231h. I've not been staying up this late lately. Actually I've felt pretty sleepy of late, often being felled by bouts of afternoon nappiness. So I guess I should start honing my sleep deprivation skills again. zzzzzzz. Hi! Yes, I'm awake.
      We just had a provincial election here on Thursday, and a mayoral election is slated in another few weeks. I know that there are many people who actually choose not to vote, citing disinterest, disillusionment, and other blah blah blah inane reasons. To you who abandons one of the few civic duties we have here, I say that's fine with me, as long as you don't try to complain about anything at all. Don't tell me that that the air smells, or that our schools suck. Don't go on about getting stuck in traffic, or tell me that you can't afford your rent. By not voting, you agreed to let others speak for you. By not voting, you basically agree that you'll accept anything and everything. By not voting, it is a slap in the face to those before us who fought so hard to secure the right to vote and the privelege of living in a democratic society. I realise that I may be addressing some close friends with these remarks, but I won't mince words. Show me somebody who refrains from voting and I'll show you someone who takes far too many things for granted.