Well... I already had this idea for a GW fic in mind, but this is 
dedicated to WhiteCat... I hope she isn't upset with me... And this is- 
^_^ -also dedicated to Psycho-chan. Enjoy! All characters belong to 
their respective companies and no, only the GW characters are 
involved, any others are props I invented. Please don't freeload off 
of me, okay? Thanks, and I really hope you like this...! ~X Creator


  Oretachi baka nan da ze, kitto. 
  We must be idiots. ~Duo Maxwell/Ep. 23: Duo Returns to Shinigami

Sunday 11:00 AM ...

     Duo watched the tiny air bubbles swirl haphazardly through the 
liquid, immobilized, staring helplessly through the emerald tinted 
glass. Snared by the shimmering container, he cursed himself for his 
stupidity. How could I have been so stupid as to be caught by that 
impossibly ridiculous bait? It's inconceivable. It's embarrassing. 
It was utterly stupid and heaven alone would know what Heero thinks 
of me now...
     Heero... Duo shuddered as he sensed his torturer approach softly 
behind him. Oh, no... The masochist's presence hung malevolently the 
in the air around him, chilling Duo to the core...
     Please, no... Go away... 
     "Duo." Heero made the one word sound like a complete sentence. 
The tall, slender boy leaned in the doorway of the warm kitchen, 
absorbing the seated Shinigami pilot dressed in his usual black 
minister attire, through unruly chestnut bangs. Duo shrank down in 
his seat, hoping against hope that Heero was going to let him off 
easy. Seeing the look, or rather lack thereof, he knew it wasn't 
going to happen.
     "Staring into you soda will not help your situation. The others 
have appointed me to make sure you carry out your end, and you are 
to change now." The cold emphasis on NOW made Duo wince.
     "Aww... Heero... come on. How was I suppose to know that you 
wouldn't try to kill yourself in that last battle?" Duo whined, 
desperately trying anything to delay to inevitable.


     Duo blew a huff of air through clenched lips as he saw a large 
group of ten to twenty MS units near where Heero was. "Oh, boy..." he 
muttered under his breath, yanking hand on the controls of his 
Gundam to send the energy scythe cutting through three of the more 
or less identical units he'd been battling for two hours with the 
others. 
     Abruptly he was hit by one of his more playful moods. He 
flicked on his communications control to speak with all fours 
others. "Hey... I'll bet you that Heero will try to take all those MS 
units down by self-destructing!"
     Utter silence was at the end. More destruction and random chaos 
followed as the Gundams continued to battle mechanically. Duo 
sweatdropped. "I'll even say that I'll cross-dress for an afternoon 
if Heero doesn't do it!"
     Pure silence. Except this time all the others froze. Duo 
finally heard a choked giggling at the end. That must be Quatre, he 
thought. Man, is he the only one with a sense of humor in this-
     Heero abruptly split away and Trowa, along with Wufei, moved in 
and took out the Gundams.
     Trowa's solemn face appeared on his screen. "You lost. Since it 
was Heero you betted on, I suppose he'll have the honors of watching 
you through the entire session of your cross-dressing expedition." A 
smile twitched at the corners of his mouth.
     Duo gaped. "I've been set up!"


     "It was your mistake in assuming that I would try to do it," 
Heero could not disguise a hint of irritation in his voice. 
     Duo stalled. "When was to last time you talked so much in one 
day? You want me to make you a cup of coffee to-"
     Heero clamped one steel-vise hand onto Duo's slender arm and 
glared into his clear amethyst eyes, boring into them unmercifully 
with icy cobalt. "Dress, or I'll dress you."
     Duo widened his violet eyes and stared impishly at Heero. "Oi? 
I didn't know you liked me *that* much-"
     Heero narrowed sheer frosted blue at Duo. "Omae o koro-"
     "EEP!! I'm going! I'm going! I'm goin'! Don't lose your hair-
trigger temper and swear to kill me like the last twenty-three 
times..." Duo ducked into the bathroom as Heero released a threatening 
growl in his general direction. The Wing Zero pilot negligently 
tossed in a large handbag after him. "Change."
      Duo let out a resigned sigh. "Yosh... ninmu ryokai." He neatly 
caught the black handbag and reluctantly disappeared from view. 
Heero waited until he heard the soft *click* of the door before 
allowing a *very* small smirk grace his sensuous lips. 5... 4... 3... 2... 
1...
     "YAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!  YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!!!!!" Duo's scream rang 
clear through the door and onward to some OZ operation center.
    
     Trowa tapped his fingers thoughtfully on the chessboard and 
calmly addressed Wufei. "I think if he screamed a little louder he 
would've been able to reach Treize's HQ..."
     Wufei acknowledged Trowa's words before moving his Bishop to 
counter Trowa's Knight. "Perhaps... I never approved of this prank you 
know... It is hardly honorable..."
     "You never argued against it." Trowa calmly countered, sliding 
his Soldier forward.
     "Hmph." Wufei studied the board.
     "I'll bet you that he'll get hit on by at least five people..." 
Trowa offered.
     "? I doubt this facade can go far. Yosh. What's the punishment 
for the loser?" Wufei asked, raising an eyebrow.
     A barely detectable mischievous glint lit Trowa's eyes. "The 
same fate as Duo."
     "No," answered Wufei flatly. "I will not allow such a disgraceful 
punishment for either of us." He glared at Trowa for even thinking 
of such a thing.
     Trowa slightly raised his eyebrow. "..."
     "So I guess I should have reprimanded Duo when announced that 
rash bet!"
     "..." Trowa leaned back. "It doesn't even have to be long. Just 
five minutes in front of the winner only."
     Wufei scowled.
     "I think it'd be rather fun, just the right *challenge* for the 
mind of the loser."
     Wufei reconsidered. "Fine. I'm still certain it won't happen." 
Wufei captured the Knight with his Rook.
     "Really? What do you say if I said that I will win in this next 
move?"
     "Same odds for Duo."
     "Checkmate." Trowa moved his Queen and smiled pleasantly.
     Wufei's jaw fell open in a most unglorified manner as he 
quickly scanned the chessboard.

     "Duo, out." Heero's cold tones seeped insidiously through the 
resolutely closed door.
     "Not a chance in Hell!" Duo snarled.
     Heero considered the options of answering that response for the 
total of five seconds before deciding to 'coax' him instead of 
damaging the valuable wooden door. "Out, or I'll get the key."
     "..." Duo stared horrified at the full-length mirror then turned 
to face the door at Heero's words... Maybe I can bust through the 
window...
     "You can run, you can hide, but you claimed you never lied."
     Ch. Duo cursed silently, shuffling slowly towards the door. He 
had to bring that up. He slowly opened the door and stepped out in 
the attire the others chose, his face red as a full rose.
     Heero studied him clinically.
     Kami, is that a *smirk* I'm seeing on Heero's face?! Duo forgot 
about everything else for a moment as he observed the minuscule 
twitch Heero's lips had inflicted on his ice-carved face.
     Duo had his customary braid, but his clothes were... *definitely* 
not his usual attire.
     A tightly clinging jet-black, sleeveless, silk and leather 
dress fastened at a choker-like collar, cleverly cut to conceal that 
it's wearer was *extremely* flat-chested. It had a open dip at the 
back, going all the down to the edges of the clumsily laced ebony 
corset, a wide, obsidian, leather belt wound tightly around the 
narrow waist, and a very revealing slit up the side of the elegantly 
hanging folds. A pair of black leather hand gloves and high-heeled 
boots completed the outfit. It made Duo look *very* feminine, but 
wasn't entirely pleasing to let him pass for a girl...
     Duo snapped out his trance as Heero stepped forward. "Oi! What 
are you do-!!!"
     Heero yanked the cords of the corset tight. "Ow..." Duo gasped. 
"Man, I can't breathe!!"
     Heero paused, then loosen the corset so that it only reduced 
Duo's waist to two-thirds of its original size instead of three-
fifths. After finishing with that, he straightened Duo's clothing a 
bit and snapped off the band holding Duo's braid together.
     "Hey!" Duo yelled, disoriented from Heero's adjustments. His 
long luxurious chestnut hair spilled out in surging waves over his 
slender shoulders and flowed down his back. Heero produced a brush 
from god-knows-where and started to 'brush' out Duo's hair.
     "Ite-te-te-te!" Duo winced, as Heero's brutal strokes showed no 
consideration for his tender scalp.
     Heero spun a dazed Duo around as he finished grooming the 
Deathscythe pilot's hair. He considered. Then he moved to brush out 
Duo's unruly bangs, smoothing them out somewhat. After satisfying 
himself with the appearance of Duo's hair, Heero then went over to a 
large jewelry box that Quatre had provided and snapped open the 
heavy oak lid. Duo barely reacted when Heero firmly latched on 
several gold and silver bracelets onto his wrists, the clip-on hoop 
earrings started to snap him out of it, and the heavy jeweled 
necklace interfaced on a metallic chain definitely woke him up. 
"HEERO!!!" He started to snatch the jewelry off when the cold tones 
interrupted.
     "Don't. The others suggested it to make you pass."
     Sighing, Duo abandoned his half-hearted attempt and decided to 
cooperate and get it over with as soon as possible. Besides... I 
really don't want anyone to realize I'm a guy in women's clothes...      
     Heero finished decking Duo sparsely with the selected 
accessories and then gave Duo another once over. Expressionlessly he 
went to the intercom on the kitchen wall. Duo stared after his back 
and scrunched up the folds of the dress nervously... What the hell is 
he doing? I'm afraid to look in the mirror right now...
     Heero's short words ended and he released the rely button. He 
looked at Duo calmly. "Wait."
     "Huh?"
     The sound of rapid footsteps coming down the stairs hit Duo hit 
in the head like a ton of bricks... "Why'd you want the others over 
here for..." he gritted out between clenched teeth.
     Heero looked at him mildly. "Keep your voice an octave higher 
and put more thought and grace into your movements," he advised. Duo 
stared, then smiled sardonically. "Oh..." his said sarcastically, his 
voice adjusted appropriately. He mockingly put up a slender hand, 
which clinked with the bracelets ringing against each other. "Gomen, 
perfect soldier. I just *know* you're capable of doing a *far* 
better job than I am-"
     Trowa arrived, trailed by a disgruntled Wufei. Their arrival 
went unnoticed by Duo since his back was to them. "-In fact, I'm 
positive you'll have much more fun doing this than me, you-"
     "For a mission, I would." Heero cut in coolly. He looked at 
Trowa, who had risen an eyebrow. Wufei frowned at Duo's back and 
addressed Heero. "Women shouldn't be here. So. Where's Duo?" Trowa's 
eyebrows went up even higher at Wufei's apparent ignorance. Duo 
froze, then slumped forward, desperately hoping that the others 
would go away.
     "Wufei..." Trowa said, amused. "Duo's right in front of you."
     "What?" Wufei sputtered.
     Heero looked down at Duo's beat-red face. "Turn around." Then 
he jerked him around to face the waiting duo behind the hapless 
pilot.
     Wufei's jaw dropped as he took in Duo's appearance then 
collected himself. "You've got to be kidding me. That can't be Duo..."
     "Says you. This was your lame-brained idea..." Duo growled, his 
voice unchecked.
     Wufei turned pale and started to look faintly ill. 
     Trowa was surprised, to say the least, at Duo's amazingly 
successful conversion. It showed in his eyes, which stated far more 
for Duo's cross-dressing than anything else so far. "Ara... so what do 
you need me for?" Trowa asked calmly, composure recovered.
     "Makeup." He simple statement struck out at everyone present.
     "MAKE-UP?!!!!" Duo shrieked. "NO WAY!!!"
     "Makeup?" Trowa asked, off-guard. 
     Wufei frowned. "I don't think-"
     "You're in a circus. I'm sure you've had some experience with 
makeup and face-painting." Heero said stoically. 
     "Ah. Yes, I do. You want me to enhance Duo's face...?"
     Duo groaned and buried his face into his hands.
     Wufei shut up and turned away, determined to ignore all further 
proceedings.
     "Hai." Heero handed Trowa a large bag of makeup.
     "Heero," Duo growled, not entirely friendly tones in his voice. 
"Where the Hell are you *getting* all of this stuff?!?!"
     Heero looked at Duo complacently. "Quatre."
     Quatre? What the Hell does he mean by Quatre? He wears this 
sh*t or something? Duo was starting to hyperventilate. Meanwhile, 
Trowa was calmly sorting through the various accessories and 
selecting various items. At length he turned to Duo. "Yosh... Duo 
please sit down." Duo narrowed his blue-violet eyes. "You're not 
going to paint me like one of those clowns-" he began, opening his 
mouth when Wufei abruptly clapped a hand down on his shoulder. 
     "Do not be afraid to admit your defeat and face the 
consequences!" he declared solemnly. "Were I in your place I would 
face my punishment as a man!"
     A huge sweatdrop formed on Duo's head, but Wufei's words had 
the desired effect. They calmed Duo down enough to get him thinking 
rationally again. I guess the makeup's from Quatre's sisters or he's 
paying for them... his guards or *Heero's* actually picking this 
stuff... Aw, man... Not only the clothes, but accessories *too*? He 
heaved a great sigh then obligingly seated himself in one of the 
large, comfortable chairs at the kitchen table. He closed his eyes 
and steeled himself for long hours of torture... 
     Trowa selected a seat next to him and delicately flicked open a 
case of mascara...

     I wonder where they are... Quatre thought, slightly bewildered. I 
haven't seen any of them this morning... He exited through one of the 
guestrooms that had been assigned to one of the missing Gundam 
pilots and milled around confusedly for a few seconds... "Hey," he 
said softly to himself. "I could try calling them over the 
intercom..."

     Duo desperately tried not to squirm as Trowa started to put the 
last finishing touches on his face. He sighed again. Wufei was 
studiously gazing into a large cup of coffee, suddenly finding the 
chocolate colors incredibly fascinating. Heero was calmly seated 
nearby, observing the entire operation with interest. He hadn't 
*moved* a muscle the entire twenty minutes. Despite having worked on 
Duo's face for so long, Trowa used little makeup on him. He 
concentrated instead on strategically placing the makeup in the 
right amount and combinations.
     Trowa carefully applied the last brush of faint blush along 
Duo's cheekbone. "Kanryo," he murmured setting the paintbrush gently 
aside on the table. He studied Duo's resigned face neutrally. Heero 
looked pacified, as always, at Duo's unusual circumstances. Wufei 
glanced up at Trowa's voice, took one _really_ *brief* look at Duo, 
then dove back into the protective cover of his coffee mug, 
muttering something inaudible. Heero spoke.
      "Duo, remember my... advice."
     Duo scowled uncharacteristically. "Yessir! I would've *dream* 
of doing _anything_ else, sir!" he replied smartly, his voice 
adjusted once again, and *dripping* with sarcasm. He, with some 
effort, flowed up from his seat and posed. "So. How do I lo-"
      The sudden crackling of static started them (with the obvious 
exception of Heero and perhaps Trowa) and cut Duo off. "...ano...Duo-
kun? Trowa-kun? Heero-kun? Wufei-kun? Watashi  wa... Quatre..." the 
voice briefly paused, as if the reorient itself. "Um... where are you 
guys?"
     All four Gundam pilots looked at each other. Heero closed his 
eyes and stayed still as stone. Trowa got up and moved gracefully 
over to the comm. He pressed the rely button. "Quatre-kun. We're in 
the downstairs kitchen."
     "Honto ne? Yatta! Matte ne... I'll be over in a second..."
     "Yosh."
     Trowa released the button and looked with some amusement at 
Duo. "As to how you look will be shortly answered by Quatre. As for 
how well you act will depend on you..."
     Duo rolled his eyes. "...why me?"

     Quatre made his way down the stairs, approaching the kitchen 
doors rapidly. He carefully pushed open the enormous doors and 
looked inside the warm brightness with large, clear, sweet corn-
flower-blue eyes. "Minna... ara... Hi." He looked uncertainly at the 
strikingly beautiful brunette who was sitting at the table with the 
others. "Um... who are you, ojousan?" he asked politely.
     One of her elegant eyebrows twitched. Trowa's lips quivered. If 
it had been anyone else, one might have suspected it being the 
beginnings of a *smirk*. Wufei was looking somewhat green, and 
Heero... was sitting expressionlessly, as usual.
     "Saa..." Trowa coaxed gently, prodding the brunette with an 
elbow. "Introduce yourself to the host..."
     The brunette looked as if she would've preferred to toss Trowa 
down a cliff with bombs attached to him.
      Quatre looked with some confusion at the odd expressions all 
present were generating. "Ano... did I miss something?"
     "Iie." Heero spoke curtly, opening cobalt steel eyes.
     "If you don't introduced yourself... I will..." Trowa said softly 
with some amusement.
     The brunette scowled, the expression twisting her delicate 
face. "...gomen ne," she addressed Quatre in a husky voice that suited 
her perfectly. "Atashi wa... Dune desu. Hajimeshite." Trowa nodded 
slightly in acknowledgment. Wufei appeared to be choking slightly. 
Heero barely blinked.
     If I had to pick a woman's name it should be able to pass for a 
man's! Wufei was thinking fiercely. Something like... Tenshin for 
instance!
     Hm... Trowa thought privately. I would've preferred to name him 
Erica. It could be converted both ways...
     Dune is very close to his name and can pass for both male and 
female. Heero observed quietly. Nice. I would've thought of calling 
him Danielle.
     "Sou ka... Watashi wa Quatre desu! Hajimeshite!" Quatre spoke 
earnestly, beaming slightly at being introduced. "Ano... why are you 
here?"
     Before Dune could open her mouth, Trowa answered quickly. "She 
wanted to know if she was attractive... we were debating on it before 
you came. What do you think, Quatre?" Dune was giving Trowa the 
Dagger Look of Death, turning solid red.
     Quatre blinked. Trowa can lack tact sometimes... he thought to 
himself quietly. Though Dune-san can't be serious... Quatre looked 
over at the furiously blushing brunette. She was nothing short of 
gorgeous. 
     Long, thick, chestnut hair spanning elegantly to her slender 
waist, she didn't boost a curvy figure, but her slender form hosted 
a nice appearance nonetheless. Her jet-black clothing fitted her 
perfectly, jewelry accenting her look, and Quatre noticed she wore 
little makeup. Years of observing his sisters were enough to inform 
of that fact. What makeup she did wear only enhanced her lovely, 
large, blue-violet eyes set in her pale, comely face. "Well?" Trowa 
asked.
     "Er..." Quatre said, slightly embarrassed at having his opinions 
bared. "I think... you're really pretty, Dune-san..."
     This time Trowa had to turn his face for a brief moment before 
coming back with his normal deadpan expression. Wufei was starting 
to shake with some indescribable emotion, and Heero... was actually 
displaying a tiny change of expression in his stony demeanor that 
said he thought this whole incident was slightly amusing. Dune 
simply looked like she wanted to fall through the floor...
     Quatre felt even more bewildered. "Ara..." he murmured quietly.
     "Don't you find... Dune-chan familiar?" Trowa asked mildly.
     "Huh?" Quatre looked more carefully at Dune. "No..."
     Dune was attempting to lose herself in the complexity of the 
kitchen table.
     "Quatre. Is there someone missing?" Heero asked calmly.
     Quatre blinked, then looked around. "Ara... Duo-kun wa...?"
     Wufei looked like he was ready to die of asphyxiation any 
minute.
     Everybody waited. Quatre looked more confused. "Isn't there 
something special we were going to do today?" Trowa coaxed.
     "Special?" Quatre thought about it. Today... something special? 
Do I know Dune-san? Is her coming to visit special? Duo-kun isn't 
here either... Wait. Duo. Dune. They look alike... could they be 
siblings?! "Ara!" he gasped, looking at Dune. Dune looked defeated. 
Quatre's next words threw all of them off. "Dune-san is Duo-kun's 
sister?!" Heero facevaulted slightly. The rest of the group crashed 
to the floor, twitching slightly in disbelief at Quatre's naïve 
mind. "Ano... did I say something wrong...?"
     When Trowa managed to peel himself off the floor, he quickly 
regained his composure. "Iie, Quatre... Wasn't there something that 
Duo had to do today that he promised?"
     "..."
     "A bet." Heero *hinted* helpfully.
     "Bet?" Quatre pondered. Duo not here... Dune-san is... bet... Gundams 
fighting... Quatre's thoughts came to an abrupt halt. His jaw dropped 
and he quickly looked up at Dune more carefully. "Kami..." he 
stuttered slightly. "D-Duo-kun?!?!" Dune, no Duo, sighed in 
resignation under Quatre disbelieving gaze.
     "Ya, Quatre. Yeah, it's me," he grumbled in his usual voice. 
Quatre stared at him with wide eyes.
     "Wow, Duo-kun! You'd really pass for a girl!" Quatre declared 
enthusiastically. Duo slumped despondently.
     Wufei abruptly got up, finished his morning drink in a huge 
swig, nearly choking himself in the process, and left the room 
hastily without a word. Quatre looked puzzled.
     "Did I do something to offend Wufei-kun?" he asked tentatively.
     "No," Trowa said quietly. "It's just that Wufei and I made a 
bet on Duo's expedition..." 
     "Bet?" Heero asked, slightly interested despite himself.
     "Whether Duo will become interested in as a girl," Trowa 
obligingly clarified. Duo froze.
     "You're telling me that one of you think guys are going to 
*hit* on me?!" Duo half-shouted.
     Heero definitely looked amused somehow, even though his 
expression didn't change. Quatre looked slightly nerve-racked. "Ara, 
Duo-kun. It isn't that bad is it?" Duo started to say something when 
Trowa cut him off.
     "Yosh. I'll be back in the recreation room." Trowa left 
silently.
     "Duo," Heero said flatly. "It's 11:55 AM. You have five more 
minutes."
     "Right. When's this thing suppose to end?" Duo asked.
     "6:00 PM."
     "Okay, I need to go to the restroom." Duo scuffled up and 
headed towards the bathroom. "Plus I need to figure out how to do 
that in *this*..."
     "...." Quatre looked after the receding form. "Don't you think 
we're being a little hard on him? I mean... it was just a joke..."
     "..." Heero stared at Quatre.
     Quatre sighed. "Ah... I wonder what Wufei and Trowa bet on."
     "Whatever it is, I think Trowa will win," Heero murmured.
     "...I think Wufei would win," Quatre said. "After all, he has 
been the most perceptive of us so far..."
     "Is that a bet?"
     "Sure, if you'd want."
     "Ryokai."
     Quatre sweatdropped. "Er... what's the punishment?"
     "Whatever you want."
     "Um... how about... cross-dressing in front of the winner for a 
while? I mean, since Duo-kun is doing it because of a bet, it seems 
fitting somehow... uh..." Quatre stumbled, flushing slightly red.
      "..."
      "Never mind, that was a stupid idea-"
      "Yosh. Loser dresses up for the winner." Heero shrugged 
indifferently.
      "Okay then..." Quatre finished phrasing.
      The ominous flushing came and then Duo stepped out, no worst 
for the wear. "All right, let's get this show on the road... Hey, 
Heero. I'm going to need a watch on me to tell me the-"
      Heero held up a watch, then fastened it to his wrist. He 
looked expectantly at Duo.
      "You're not telling me you're going to follow me in _that_ 
outfit... are you?" Duo asked, raking Heero with a searing glance over 
his usual attire. Loose green tank top and tight black shorts.
    "What would you prefer that I wear?" Heero asked coldly.
    Duo sweatdropped. Good question... he thought. I mean, this is 
practically all he has in his wardrobe besides school uniforms... but 
then I only have pretty much one type of clothing for myself too. An 
idea suddenly clicked into his head and he grinned wickedly. Oh 
yeah... some payback... Quatre looked apprehensive at his sudden 
expression.      
     "Exactly. You have any plan for where we're going?"
     "No."
     "Good. We're going shopping for you." Duo smirked, seeing Heero 
blink in startlement. "Getcha some *nice* clothes..." Heero glared at 
him for a few seconds then dropped the subject and shrugged. 
     "Fine."
     "Okay then. Let's go! Ja ne Quatre-kun!" Duo waved, his voice 
going back into feminine range. The pair left, radiating hostility.
     "Oh boy..." Quatre murmured.
       
1:00 PM, in some expensive boutique... 
  
     Heero glared, pressing his lips into a thin line as he faced 
his adversary. "No," he declared flatly.
     "Come on, Heero," Duo wheedled, "You need some variety in your 
wardrobe..." He was holding some ludicrous contraption with lots of 
multi-colored lace, frills, and... bows.
     "No."
     "It fits you perfectly," Duo coaxed, winking to a salesclerk 
nearby who was desperately trying not to laugh.
     Heero glared.
     "Okaay..." Duo dropped the 'cloak' and picked up a pair of 
'pants.' "How about this?"
     Heero glanced at the hideous green and purple ensemble, gaudily 
decorated with neon blue and orange. "Dune-" 
     Duo let out an exaggerated sigh. "Alright then." 'She' turned 
to the clerk who was struggling to straighten out her face. "We'll 
just take these then..." He waved at thirteen various articles of 
clothing of which Heero had merely grunted, glanced, or blinked at 
with no comment.
     "Alright," the lady tallied up the cost. "That'll be $----.-- 
please."
     Duo smiled sweetly and handed the lady a credit card from the 
small knapsack he carried. Dubious, she ran it through and as it 
came out clean she smiled cheekily. She had some doubts when she met 
the young pair who had approached. She handed them the towering 
packages. Duo unceremoniously dumped them into Heero's unresponsive 
arms, which automatically tensed to catch them. Other then bending 
down slightly, there was no other reaction. The salesclerk mentally 
applauded. She knew the huge fur coat *had* to be heavy...
     "Alright, Heero-kun..." the brunette purred. "You want to go to 
the movies?"
     Behind the leaning tower of Packages, Heero blinked, then 
frowned minimally. "Duo, you're dead."
     Duo raised an eyebrow. "Saa... you're so depressed..."
     "Hey, baby," a masculine voice cut in from the side. "I'll go 
with you..."
     Duo froze, then slowly turned around. "Ch." An obnoxious, 
arrogant bozo was stuttering in his line of view. A classic example 
of blonde, blue-eyed muscle and machismo. Duo smiled wanly. "I'd 
rather not. Sorry, Heero promised me, ne?" Duo looked mock-adoringly 
at the figure obscured by boxes.
     "..." The guy shrugged. They were in a refined area after all. 
"Okay, have it your way. You have no idea what you're missing..." he 
left in search of more willing prospects. Duo gagged as the 
swaggering guy left. 
     "Yeah right..."

     Trowa looked at Wufei. "That's one," he noted with interest.
     "..." Wufei looked away.
     The two Gundam pilots were casually following Duo and Heero. 
They had to keep score after all... though Heero probably knew they 
were there...

2:00 PM, watching some action movie in a theater... 

     "They call this action?" Duo hissed to a loosely seated figure 
beside him.
     "Hn." Heero uttered. "Normal lives."
     "Oh... they should really try publishing our 'normal' lives then... 
it'd make much more action than _this_..." He stared in disgust at the 
tanks barreling out to slam with sudden ear-snapping effect into the 
cliff. Duo winced. "The sound and visual effects are good though..." 
he admitted, taking another handful of buttered popcorn and started 
munching. "Popcorn?"
     Heero stared calmly at the popcorn as if it were a form of 
alien prototype bacteria. "..."
     Duo sweatdropped. "Okaay..." He started to withdrawn the offered 
food when Heero serenely snatched a small handful and tentatively 
started to nibble at it. 
     "..." Duo's sweatdrop grew in size. He decided to ignore Heero 
for the time being. He was about to turn his attention back to the 
large movie screen when...
     **GLOMP**
     A large, _male_ hand from the seat beside Duo (not Heero of 
course!) wrapped itself around his chest. 
     "Kinda flat-chested are we? I don't mind... you wanna hang with-" 
Another repulsing hand reached over and yanked at a lock of Duo's 
long unbound hair. The theater was in one of the less refined 
areas. 
     Snatching at his chest disgruntled him, but _touching_ his 
*hair* without permission was more than Duo would take... A throbbing 
vein had started to pulse in Duo's forehead and his fist trembled...

     "Ouch. That has to hurt..." Trowa remarked quietly to Wufei, who 
was seated next to him, near the back of the theater. He watched as 
Heero restrained Duo from doing any further damage to the whimpering 
wreak in the seat to the other side of Duo's position.
     Wufei nodded his agreement, wincing internally at the ferocious 
belt Duo had coldly aimed at his harasser's crotch. "Don't you think 
he overreacted a bit...?"
     "If it were you..." Trowa let the sentence trail off.
     Wufei conceded his point. "That's two," he grumbled softly.

3:45 PM, outside of the aforementioned movie theater...

     "The _nerve_ of that asshole..." Duo snarled quietly, fuming. 
Heero trailed closely behind, following the stiffly marching form 
in front of him. "I'm going to tear his arm off if I see him again..." 
the indignant figure growled.
     "HEY YOU!!!" a shadowy figure shouted. "AREN'T YOU THE BITCH 
WHO HURT OUR BUDDY?!!"
     Duo blinked then noticed the gathering group of thugs. He 
stopped short, closed his eyes, took a *deep* breath, and let it out 
with a easy sigh. Heero raised an eyebrow as Duo opened his eyes. 
Duo's dark amethyst eyes glinted with wicked intentions, a feral 
smile tugging gently at his lips. "Okaay... this will be an acceptable 
substitute..."
     "GET HER, BOYS! NO ONE MESSES WITH US AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!" 
the ringleader shouted.
     "Exactly what I wanted to say to you..." Duo whispered evilly. He 
took up a fighting stance...
     Some of the gang members, who were intelligent enough, suddenly 
realized that they may have gotten in over their heads...
     Heero watched the grossly outclassed battled debated whether to 
join in. Hm... nah.

4:00 PM, outside of the movie theater...

     Duo winced at a particularly painful bruise on his arm. Heero 
casually strolled over. "Not bad," he said mildly. Duo scowled.
     "Yeah, well, you could've have joined in any time, y'know." Duo 
dusted himself off, straightening out his outfit and trying to wipe 
the thug-germs off of his hands. "Ick... they don't believe in 
personal hygiene... eww..." 
     Heero silently gestured towards a nearby restroom. Duo sighed. 
Conversating with a chunk of rock wasn't easy. "Thanks," he mumbled, 
hobbling slightly as he went to the bathroom.
     "Women side."
     "Oh f---." Duo muttered. "This is embarrassing..."
     "I'll look over the car," Heero silently left the furiously 
reddening Shinigami pilot who was slowly approaching the restroom 
door as if it were a loading Beam Buster RifleX1...

4:10 PM, outside of the restroom, which was conveniently located next 
to a bar...

     "Oh man..." Duo murmured as he quietly left the bathroom. 
     "Nice meeting you Dune-san! When I grow up I want to look as 
pretty as you!" the cheerful girl waved, as she scampered away.
     "This is Hell," Duo whispered. He had gotten more or less 
unscathed, quickly going and washing his hands, but when the little 
kid had crawled under his stall _just_ after he was done... He'd 
almost died of a heart attack.
     "Omae o korosu..." he muttered, not even sure who he was saying 
it to. Probably Fate. He was going to take a rematch with her sooner 
or later...
     "G-Gomen k-kudasai..." stammered a voice.
     "?" Duo turned around to see a timid, young man hovering close 
to him. 
     "Could y-you accompany me for a d-drink?" The young man's 
exquisite emerald eyes shone hopefully from underneath a thick 
fringe of luxurious ebony hair.
     "..." Shit. Duo didn't feel so good. "I'm really sorry..."
     The guy's expression crumpled.
     "Um... but if it's only for *one* drink..."
     The man's expression lit up, radiating his joy from his 
gorgeous face. "Ari-Arigato!"
     Shit. I don't believe this... What the Hell am I doing?! He's 
cute though...

     "I don't believe this! What does he think he's doing!!" Wufei 
hissed.
     "?" Trowa was surprised himself. "...I guess he has a soft spot 
of guys lacking self-esteem and confidence..."
     Wufei's knuckles were turning an interesting shade of pale blue 
and white as he clenched a nearby tree branch. The poor limb was 
starting to fracture... "I can't believe he would lower himself to 
masquerade accompaniment in such a degrading manner..."
      Trowa blinked. "...Three," he intoned softly.

4:30 PM, a mostly deserted parking lot...

      Heero glanced at his watch. It told him precisely what his own 
internal clock told him, 4:30 and 13.45 seconds. He tapped his 
fingers in annoyance, indulging himself for once. 
     Where's Duo?
     Heero calculated the possibilities for any delays for going to 
the restroom and estimated the time capacity for each. "..." He 
started to get out of the car...
     On cue, Duo appeared. He was staggering. Only slightly, but 
Heero noted the handicap. "?"
     "Ooii. Heerou..." Duo slurred, shaking his head infrequently.
      Heero stared. "Duo, are you... drunk?"
      "Nahh... well, maybeh a little bituh..." Duo slumped against the 
passenger door.
      "How many glasses?"
       Duo frowned. "Uh... one, two, three..."
       Heero developed a slight sweatdrop. "How and why?"
      "I dinna know there waseh a buh next to the damn washroom... 
this poor guy showed up and wanteh me to have a drink with him-" 
Duo's speech was clearing up.
       "..." Heero was speechless for a moment. "Where is he?"
       "Out likeh a light, on the bar. His alcohol tolerency is 
loweh than mine. Which is pretty low..." Duo's slur was definitely 
lightening. "But I recover quickly if I dinna have too much..."
       "..."
       "Lesuh go. Where to next?"
       "..." Heero looked clueless for a moment. "Park?" he finally 
suggested.
       "Fine with me."

5:30 PM, local park...

       Duo sweated. He was somber and more than slightly queasy from 
Heero's bone jarring, rubber-burning driving. But that wasn't as bad 
as the unexpected outdoor sermon that was taking place at the park 
that had just been so 'conveniently' near. It was killing him. There 
was absolutely no chance of escape either, once they had 
accidentally entered the huge crowd of devoted worshippers (it 
appeared to be a famous minister who was directing the sermon), 
there was no way back. He knew that from experience.
       I really should have gotten used to it. I mean, I tagged 
along with the others at Maxwell Church for mass for over _four_ 
hours before. But, damn, that was a *very* long time ago! Duo 
pondered silently in slight panic. The minister was starting on his 
second tedious, never-ending hour. The topic was on gluttony. 
     It wouldn't have been so bad if it had been a topic he would've 
been able to relate to. 
     Envy, sure I understand that. I envy all the nice, normal 
people, for the peaceful life I never got. 
     Sloth... well, I get slightly sloppy every now and then. Like 
that bet, Duo fumed.
     Lust... ... okay... I never really thought about that one... don't 
think I want to...
     Greed... where the Hell am I going to find greed in my life? My 
entire life is, because of pure necessity... that topic would've been 
bad too...
     Pride... Wufei probably would've understood that topic more... 
     Anger, there's the occasional enraged fit when I might go on 
homicidal automatic for a brief period of time... Heero probably 
would've fully connected with that. Duo glanced at Heero who was 
sandwiched between a fat lady and a skinny man, thirty feet (it 
seemed like thirty kilometers) away. With about three hundred people 
of every variety blocking his line of sight to him. He looked 
perfectly the same. Unruffled and like he was hanging onto the priest's 
every word.
     Gluttony? Sheesh. All of us are skinny as sticks, all sinew and 
bone. Especially Heero. I don't even know why he's paying so much 
attention... I can't even remember the last time I ate so much that I 
felt full... Always being on the run has that effect on you... Duo 
scowled.
     "What's wrong, gorgeous?" asked a masculine voice.
     Duo froze and slowly turn to face his opponent.
     A courteous, refined-looking redhead blinked at his murderous 
expression. "Ano...?" he murmured, his leaf-green eyes emitted 
bewilderment at such a strong reaction.
     Duo sweatdropped and dropped the impolite glare. "Um... sorry."
     "Daijoubu daijoubu," the redhead said, smiling.
       
     "What are they saying," Wufei demanded. He was perched on the 
branch opposite of Trowa's. They had managed to escape the mad mob 
that had gathered at the clearing and scaled a tree.
     "It's too far away," Trowa said finally.
     "Does this one count?"
     Duo abruptly turned the most interesting shade of dark red and 
Trowa swore he could see a hint of violet in the vermilion shades.
     "..." Wufei's question answered itself in that moment.
     "I guess so..." Trowa said softly, with a hint of amusement.

5:55 PM, the sermon ended...

     Duo had to admit. He had been reduced to prayer by the 
minister's tirade. "Oh god, please let him be done soon..." he 
muttered.
     Heero's expression twitched. He had somehow been jostled into a 
convenient position and made it back to Duo's side. A final ringing 
shout resonated from the figure on the scaffold and the crowd 
applauded, and started to _finally_ disperse. "I never thought I 
hear you say that," Heero murmured. 
     Duo gave up scowling and blew out a soft chuff of breath. 
"Right. Time?"
     Heero barely glanced at the watch on his wrist. "5:55 45.3 
seconds." 
     "Lemme see that!" Duo grabbed Heero's arm and squinted at the 
digital readout. He released Heero's wrist in disgust. "I swear 
you're a android. Admit it. At least you're not as bad as Mr. 
NeverEnding over there-"
     "Hey, darling!" whooped a macho voice.
     Duo groaned. Heero tried not to smirk. It was becoming harder 
under the unusual circumstances.
     "Tired of your boy toy yet? Come on, I know you wanted to go 
out with me back there... You were even talking to my pansy classmate, 
Shuiichi back there!"
     Duo tiredly looked up. It was the obnoxious blonde bozo.
     "For the last time NO!" Duo shouted, his voice dropping back 
down to his normal tones for a split second under his waning 
control. 
     "?" The blonde was taken aback for a moment. After a moment of 
silence he said. "Man, lady. You have a deep voice..."
     "Heero, time?"
     "It's..." Heero glanced down at the watch. "6:00 PM on the dot."
     Duo smiled. Then he decked the blonde. "I am a _guy_ damnit!!" 
He then stomped a few steps before turning back. "Heero, I need the 
keys. I'm changing back ASAP." Heero shrugged, then tossed him the 
keys. "You want me to pick you up later?"
     "No, Duo." Heero's tone was matter-of-fact. Duo rolled his eyes 
and tossed his long chestnut hair over his shoulder.
     "Suit yourself."
     Heero watched him reach the car, started the engine, and charge 
down the street at what was probably three times the speed limit. He 
then stepped over the shell-shocked blonde and started for the tall 
oak tree nearby.
     "That was a guy?" the guy mumbled incredulously. "Hey, you! Is 
it true?"
     Heero reached the base of the trunk and studiously looked up. 
It was deserted. He paused. Oh well, I'll just ask them later...
     "Hey you!"
     Heero tossed him a disdainful look. He was never one for social 
activities. His 'job' made it slightly difficult, but he deduced it 
would be polite in this case to give an answer.
      "Yes."
      "Then why the Hell was he dressed like that?!"
      "He lost a bet."
      The guy stared suspiciously at the monotonous figure in front 
of him. "You pulling my leg?"
      "No. " Heero decided the conversation was terminal. The 
pathetic form was apparently offering no further insight on social 
behavior on his low intellect. He started for the bus station.
      "Jerk!" the guy yelled after him.

Moments earlier at 5:59 PM, up an oak tree...

     Wufei stared.
     Trowa stared.
     Both were thinking the same thing.
     Does this man count for the fifth one?
     He can't, he already tried before! Wufei vemently protested 
mentally. He couldn't deny the feelings of disgust and resignation 
at his paltry objections though...
     Does he count...? Trowa analyzied slowly. He mulled over it.
     As one they came to a conclusion and looked at each other.
     "Don't be afraid to admit defeat and face the consequences," 
Trowa murmured, unconsciously echoing Wufei's earlier proclamation. 
His conclusion was fair and he felt more or less indifference at his 
resulting answer of the question.
     "Right." Wufei nodded stiffly, after a moments of darkened 
silence. His own conclusion had been difficult, wrongly made at 
first, but with Trowa's words straightened out, becoming just.
      "Saa. The bet will be paid in full tomorrow then. Five minutes 
in front of the winner..." Trowa's voice trailed.
      "Hai. Time?" Wufei asked stonily.
      "Whenever you want," Trowa said, blinking.
      "Just to make sure there's no outsiders viewing, sometime 
between 10:00 AM and noon at..." Wufei thought about it. Certainly not 
at Quatre's house...
      "The Gundams' garage?" Trowa inserted helpfully.
      "Yes, that'll be fine."
      "Yosh, ja ne."
      "..."
      Both parties left the tree, wading in a confused tangle of 
emotions, going their separate ways, bare seconds before the short-
haired teen nearby walked over and peered up at the positions they 
vacanted...

6:20 PM, at Quatre's mansion...

     Duo sighed in relief, flopping bonelessly down on a comfortable 
stuffed chair, finally back into his _normal_ gear. He stretched, 
wryly thinking about the afternoon's activities.
     Actually, that wasn't too bad... I guess I was too edgy to enjoy 
much of it... Not that I EVER admit that to the rest of the guys. 
Still... I think I'll save the costume in case I'll in need of some 
serious undercover... I fooled a lot of people, that's for sure... Duo 
rubbed wearily at his neck, feeling the pain at his waist where the 
corset nearly squeezed the life out of him. God, Heero didn't need 
to tie it *that* tight... Duo scowled, for the 75th time that day. He 
sat there for a moment, trying to work out the kinks in his way 
overtensed body.
     "Ara... Duo-kun!" Quatre's voice intruded into his dead-like 
trance. "You're back! Daijoubu ka? How are you feeling?" The blonde 
Arabian looked anxiously at the black-clothed Shinigami pilot with 
large gentain eyes.
     "I'm just _fine_," Duo pronounced, his words dripping with 
weary sarcasm and good humor.
     "Honto ne?" Quatre said sweetly, "Sugoi! I'm really sorry... for 
not doing anything against what the guys were planning..."
     Duo waved it off. "It's okay, no use crying about it now..."
     "Duo-kun... Heero-kun wa...?"
     "Him? He said he'll get back here himself." Duo grinned.
     "..."
     "You know how capable and resourceful the 'Perfect Soldier' 
is..."
     "..." 
     "In fact, I'm sure he'll come into this room any minute now-"
     The door flung open. Startled by the sudden interruption, Duo 
jerked. "What cheerful timing..." he muttered. "Oi, Heero-"
     Dark brown eyes scowled at him. Wufei jerked his head to the 
side, pigtail swinging, and hmphed. "Heero?" he huffed. "What-"
     "Wufei-kun!" Quatre cut in cheerfully, before things got ugly. 
"Okaeri!"
     Wufei stopped short; then nodded stiffly to Quatre. "Sorry 
about interrupting your conversation." Wufei apologized, off-hand. 
     Duo's jaw dropped. Recovering, "Are you ill, Wufei?"
     Wufei frowned at him. Somehow, Duo got the feeling Wufei's 
irate state was caused by his participation. He thought about it... 
     "Ill?" Wufei repeated Duo's words as if they made no sense 
whatsoever. "Hmph. Excuse me... I have some things I need to attend 
to..."
     "Ara..." Quatre murmured. "Wufei-kun, matte ne!" Quatre hurried 
after the swiftly retreating figure, following him into another 
room.
     Duo stared after the pair. One was stalking and the other was 
running. Hm... Duo thought. There's something definitely wrong with 
this picture... Ah, shimatta. I'm too bone-tired to care about it...
     _thud_
     Duo blinked. Nanni? He thought, sitting up tensely. He stared 
at the door at which the two had left through thoughtfully. "..." He 
shrugged and dropped back down onto the chair, relaxing his muscles. 
"If Wufei touches Quatre," he murmured drowsily, "Trowa would kill 
him... It was _their_ stupid bet after all..."

     _thud_
     "Um... Wufei-kun?" Quatre asked hesistantly, "What are you 
doing?"
     "Hn," Wufei grunted noncommittally as he dragged a dusty, 
anonymous trunk from some dusty corner that Quatre never knew 
existed. That alone was pretty astonishing, since Quatre was the 
young master of the houshold. The fact the Wufei actually decided to 
answer Quatre's half-hearted probe on his intentions was impossible. 
"I'm looking for some family antiques I put here earlier..."
     Quatre blinked. It took a total of ten seconds for the meaning 
of the statement to sink in. It took another twenty to understand in 
the significance behind the reply. The same amount of time, the 
grand total of thirty seconds, would've enabled Quatre to hack 
through into OZ's database. The same thirty seconds in his Gundam 
would've let him destroy five to ten Leos. The fact that Wufei's 
impossible sentence should shock him to such a state of extreme 
immobility says a lot alone in itself... The fact that Quatre was now 
repeating Wufei's statement senselessly also said a lot for the poor 
Sandrock pilot's equilibrium at the moment.
     "F-Family an-antiques?" Quatre stuttered softly.
     "Hai," Wufei replied shortly.
     "Gomen kudasai, demo... naze?" Quatre asked.
     "None of your business."
     The blunt retort helped stabilize Quatre somewhat. "Ah. Gomen."
     Silence for a while as Wufei futily pecked at the large, 
complicated paddlock with a small wire.
     "Um... Wufei, forgive me for asking, but if this is yours, why 
don't you use a key?"
     "I threw it away first chance."
     "Ara..."
     "I didn't expect to ever open this again."
     "Ah... Does this have to do with your bet with Trowa?" Quatre 
asked innocently.
     Wufei froze. Che. I was wondering if he'll start thinking about 
that if I keep this bumbling up. I was hoping he'd leave before he 
saw what's inside this chest... Wufei studiously considered the 
question. Shrugging, weary of the subject, he abandoned caution and 
replied honestly.
     "Yes."
     "Sou ka... Wufei, did you lose?"
     "...yes..." he replied grudgingly.
     "Wakatta. I've leave you to handle your loss then... if you need 
any help, ask me." Quatre said softly to the young Chinese man.
     Wufei nodded stiffly. Quatre bowed his head in acknowledgement 
and walked out. Wufei eyed the blonde Arabian discreetly from the 
corners of his eyes as he left the room. As soon as the door clicked 
shut, Wufei hurriedly yanked the lock-pick and jammed the tumblers 
into place. Heaving slightly, he threw open the chest's lid 
silently. He paused a moment, in heavy thought, looking at the 
contents with a degree of heartfelt sorrow.
     "Nataku..." he whispered quietly, gently picking up a beautiful 
ceremonial robe as if it were made of the frailest crystalline 
glass...

6:20 PM, at a particular circus...

     Trowa arrived promptly, stopping for no detours on the loss of 
his bet's account. He noted the time and quickly went to the trailer 
he and Catherine shared, changing. He then headed toward the main 
tent for his partner's skilled knife-throwing act. The ringmaster 
greeted him enthusiastically as usual when he showed up through the 
draped curtains, decked out in his clown attire.
     "TROWA!" the man hissed, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"
     "Saa..." Catherine reasoned, standing up for Trowa's credibility 
since Trowa remained in his usual silence. "He came on time didn't 
he?"
     "Yes! But if he keeps transversing off he'll-"
     "Demo... he came on time right? Then there's nothing to worry 
about!" Catherine clasped her hands together, the frilly cuffs of 
her performance outfit waving with the movement. "Ja! Come on 
Trowa!"
     "..." Trowa silently followed her out into the ring, ignoring the 
sputtering ringmaster.

6:40 PM, Trowa and Catherine's trailer...

     "Sa... Trowa, you made it a close call this time!" chided 
Catherine softly, changing out of her costume behind an improvised 
curtain.
     "Gomen, Catherine," Trowa said eloquently, looking politely 
away from the curtain.
     "Demo, if it's not too personal, why did you show up so late?"
     "..." Trowa debated whether to say anything. "Well-"
     A quiet knock sounded ominously on the door. Catherine started, 
and Trowa turned gracefully, tense. Catherine rose and went to 
answer the door. "Konbanwa... ara!"
     A searing pair of icy cobalt eyes glared at her. Heero 
inclined his head minimally. "Ya. Trowa wa...?" His normally 
expressionless face seemed to calm Catherine down a little, instead 
of frightening her more. "Anata wa Trowa no tomodachi ka?"
     Trowa peered around Catherine's shoulder and gazed quietly at 
the silent form. "Heero. What do you want?"
     "..." Heero looked slightly comfortable. He tilted his head and 
looked down at his shoes. "Did you... win your bet?" he finally asked, 
bluntly.
     Trowa blinked, taken aback, and studied Heero self-conciously. 
He rested a lithe hand on the trailer's doorframe. "No," Trowa 
answered simply.
     "Bet?" Catherine asked, surprised.
     Trowa looked wanly at her, a touch of self-mockery in his 
emerald eyes. "It's a long story... Heero, do you need something?"
     "Iie. I'll see you later, then." Heero nodded awkwardly at 
them, then turned and vanished into the shadows. They watched him 
leave.
     "Bet?" Catherine asked coyly, turning to mock-glare at Trowa.
     "..."

7:05 PM, Trowa and Catherine's trailer...

      Catherine shook, the corners of her mouth twitching. Trowa 
looked at her with a slight degree of alarm as she closed her slate-
gray eyes and gave in to gasping, unstoppable laughter that she 
seemed to be trying to strangle down her throat.
      "..." Trowa half-rose, "Catherine daijoubu ka?"
      "Da-daijoubu, Trowa," Catherine giggled. "Saa. How are you 
going to accomplish that?" She eyed his clothes, his face, and 
especially his *hair.*
      Trowa paused. "I was hoping you had an idea..."
      Catherine raised an eyebrow and examined Trowa thoughtfully. 
"Hm..."
      Trowa was suddenly struck with a premonition of dread.

Back at 7:00 PM, in a telephone booth...

     **riing**riing**riing**click**
     "Moshi-moshi, Winner residence," rumbled a Maganac fighter's 
voice.
     "Ore wa Heero. Quatre wa...?"
     "Ara... wait a second, Heero-san." There came the sound of a 
receiver touching down on a table, and pattering feet going down a 
hall... the thud of someone tripping, some cursing, then a moment of 
silence.
     Heero waited patiently.
     **click**
     "Heero-kun?" Quatre panted, picking up on another phone.
     "Quatre, the winner of the bet--"
     "Mou..." Quatre sighed, already knowing what Heero was going to 
say. "I know."
     "..." Heero didn't expect Quatre to be so exasperated with him 
about it. "Alright. Where and when?"
     At his end, Quatre wrinkled his forehead at Heero's apparent 
unconcern. Ara... but then Heero's always like that... Quatre thought. 
He pondered over the meeting place. "I'd like to get it over with as 
soon as possible. How about tomorrow morning at..." Quatre quickly 
scaned for readily accessible places that were mostly deserted, 
"...the Gundam's garage?"
      "Yosh. Around 10:30 AM then?"
      "Hai..."
      "Acknowleged, see you tomorrow."
      "Okay-" 
      **click**
      Quatre stared at the phone, slightly affronted. Heero is so 
abrupt sometimes... Quatre sighed quietly, hanging up the phone. Hm... I 
wonder what can I look up... He froze. The unmistakable aura of 
intense displeasure was radiating from a very, very, *very* close 
source around him...
      "Quatre-sama..." Rasid rumbled, tapping his foot in obvious and 
unmistakable disapproval. His large bulk towered above the 
diminutive shounen.
      Shimatta. I forgot he had the phones tapped... Quatre shrunk in 
on himself guiltily.
      "What is this about... a bet?"
      "Ah... well... I..."
      "Quatre-sama." The destruction of the universe was at hand, 
its gleeful aura spraying fatality.
      "..." Quatre slumped, then squared himself to face the music. At 
least he'll understand it more than Avdol and the others... I hope.

7:30 PM, Winner residence...

     "WHA-A-AT?!!!" Rasid's rumbling roar reverberated through the 
halls.
     Quatre frantically tried to shush him.
     "Quatre-sama," the Maganac fighter hissed between clenched 
teeth. "I will _not_ allow this outrage-"
     "Rasid!" Quatre pleaded. "It's a matter of honor!"
     Rasid paused. When he opened his mouth to object further, 
Quatre hurriedly cut him off.
     "Besides, it's only for a few short minutes. It's nothing 
serious. Come on Rasid..."
     The Maganac pressed his lips into a disapproving line. "Quatre-
sama-"
     Quatre looked with pleading, earnest, sad eyes at the fighter.
     Rasid ground his teeth, he hated it when Quatre did that. He 
sighed mentally and reversed track.
     "-if you're going to make this work," he finally growled, "I'm 
going to be the one who's going to make sure it does."
     Quatre breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, Rasid-san." Then he 
did a double take. What did I just do?!
     "Come on, Quatre-sama. You better make sure you're going to 
pull this off so well, that you'll fool the others..." Rasid headed 
down the hall in a general direction. The general direction of the 
servants' quarters.
     "..." Quatre slowly trailed after him, a huge sweatdrop forming 
on his head.

7:45 PM, god-knows-where...

      Heero sat ramrod straight, unperturbed, intensely studying the 
screen of his computer. The deserted dorm room was silent save the 
low humming of his laptop. Readouts scrolled by quickly and he 
watched carefully, flicking on a recorder as well as several 
stereos. Low, soothing voices broke the stillness, filling the dark 
room as he analyzed the tones, pitches, and frequencies at which 
they were speaking. He sat thoughtfully and reached for another tape 
on top of the huge pile.  The huge pile of stolen women's fashion, 
modeling, commercial voicing, exercising, dancing... etc... etc.... tapes 
that he'd scourged from libraries, stores, and stands. Heero sat 
there for quite some time, observing, taking note, studying, and 
mimicing several postures, voice tones, and who-knows-what-else. 
Then, finally being somewhat satisfied that his performance, he 
started thinking about what he should wear... 

Monday, 10:00 AM...

     Wufei grimaced slightly, then squared his shoulders, robes 
rustling, determined not to disgrace Nataku's memory by acting so 
foolishly. He breathed in deeply and let out his breath slowly. He 
reached for the doorknob of his assigned room in Quatre's mansion, 
determined to get it over with as soon as possible. He wanted to be 
there as soon as Trowa came. Remembering to try and act with 
Nataku's grace, he smoothly stepped out into the hall, knowing it 
was safely deserted, and flowed out of the mansion to the Gundams' 
garage...

10:00 AM, at a certain circus, in a restroom which had an open 
window...

     "Trowa..." Catherine mock-gasped, looking 'him' over approvingly. 
She reached up and blended a few more sections of makeup on Trowa's 
transformed face. "You really could pass for a girl!" she finished, 
maintaining her deadpan expression for the incredible length of ten 
seconds. Then she burst out giggling.
     "..." Trowa shifted uncomfortably, adorned in the costume 
Catherine lent him.
     Discreetly wiping away tears of mirth, Catherine lowered her 
hand innocently and sobered. "Truly, Trowa. You look amazing. No one 
would recognize you. They'll doubt it even if you admit it out 
loud."
    "..." Trowa bowed his head. "Arigato." The pair of feathers tucked 
behind his ear brushed against his neck.
    "Do itashimashite." Catherine smiled. "So when do you plan to 
go?"
    "..." Trowa closed his eyes serenely. "Having no appointments this 
morning, I might as well wait for him."
     "And get it over with as soon as possible..." Catherine 
interjected dryly.
     "..."
     "Well, don't just stand there! Go! And tell me what he thought 
about your 'look'!" Catherine jibed teasingly.
     Trowa nodded and quickly scanned his surroundings. Finding it 
clear, he twisted into an airborne somersault and flipped out the 
window, heading for his truck... 
      Catherine sighed melodramatically. "I hate when he does that... 
He makes it look so easy..."

10:00 AM, in a car, on the freeway, driving at the speed of 100 mph...
  
     Heero zoomed down the freeway, taking care that the rushing 
wind flying past his open window didn't disarray his carefully 
positioned hair. True, he didn't pick a very complicated attire, and 
his hair wasn't exactly what the typical girl styled it, but he 
believed he would pass. He ignored the squealing tires as he spun 
into an incredible 90-degree turn. It wasn't that he was in a hurry... 
but he would prefer to have the entire incident over as soon as 
possible... 

10:00 AM, on the other side of the Winner residence...
    
     Quatre winced as he peered at himself in the mirror. His 
reflection stared mercilessly back at him. "Are you sure I pass 
Rasid? I look awful..." Quatre wrung his hands.
     Rasid tore his eyes away from the stunning figure Quatre made. 
He looks better than his sisters... "You look fine, Quatre-sama. I'm 
sure no one would recognize you..."
     Quatre frowned. "I didn't even change my hairstyle!" he 
exclaimed petulantly, self-consciously tugging at his platinum locks.
     "Don't worry." Rasid felt like rolling his eyes in 
exasperation.
     Quatre sighed. "Yosh. Ara... I think I'll head for the meeting 
place..." He shuffled his feet, staring at the ballerina-like shoes.
     Rasid nodded. "A wise decision..."
     Quatre smiled sheepishly.
     "Come back as soon as you're done. It'll be most unpleasant if 
anyone recognizes you..."
     "I know..." Quatre headed for the door.

     Somewhere, Fate was laughing her head off. All four Gundam 
pilots were now simultaneously on their way to meet with their 
'winners' of their bet, all dressed up in a style of girls' 
clothing. At the exact same moment, in the exact same place. Pity 
one of them was going to miss all the fun. Hm... Hey... actually...

10:05 AM, Winner residence...

     Duo frowned, stretching. He slowly dragged himself off the pile 
of manuals on his desk that he'd been studying last night, and 
yawned. He scratched his head blearily and squinted at the 
digital clock in his room. "Hey... it's morning..." he rasped hoarsely.
     He staggered up and went to the restroom to wash up. 

10:10 AM, Winner residence...

     Duo emerged, refreshed, dressed, and ready for anything. "Ahh..." 
he sighed. "Hn. Okay, what's on my agenda list today?"
     He snatched up a miscellaneous piece of paper on his desk and 
scanned it. "Hm... I think I'll go fix up Shinigami. I did kinda of 
wreak up his controls last time we went out..."
     Duo grabbed his coat, a handful of necessary tools from his 
toolbox, and bounced off to the Gundams' garage...

10:20 AM, Gundams' garage...

     Trowa entered the garage after he parked his truck into some 
thick undergrowth nearby. He quietly entered the dimly lit, deserted 
hanger, the heels of his boots clicking on the smooth, stainless, 
metal floor.
     **clik**
     The noise of something snapping into place sounded like a 
gunshot. Trowa started, looking up swiftly to see the unusual sight 
of an elegantly dressed schoolgirl perched on top of Wing Gundam. 
She was Japanese, petite, and fairly pretty. She had on what 
appeared to be a standard school uniform; a sharply cut business 
suit-like top with a gently spreading skirt that nearly reached her 
bare knees. A decorative ribbon looped around the collar of her 
inner blouse, and an iridescent, eye-catching, pearl-adorned tiara 
was displayed in her short, unruly dark chocolate hair. She wore 
knee-length, laced boots, on her crossed feet and ivory, slightly 
past elbow-length gloves. Her pear-shaped, pearl earrings swayed 
slightly as she cocked her head to one side, narrowing deadly blue 
eyes. 
     Something about that movement struck a chord of familiarity in 
Trowa's subconciousness. It wasn't her that that bothered Trowa 
though... it was more like the serious energy handgun she held in her 
right hand, aimed directly at his head.
     "Dare da?" She asked in a low, husky, seductive voice.
     Trowa took a moment to regain his bearings and raised up his 
arms in a gesture of submission. He studied her with calm emerald 
eyes. "Atashi wa Erica-" he began in a low modulated tone, deciding 
not to let on that he was a guy.
     The faint patter of soft shoe-clad feet reached their ears. The 
girl looked up as Trowa instinctively turned around. Trowa and the 
girl blinked in shock as the form stepped into full view...

      Indeed, Wufei concentrated so hard on being not caught by 
anyone within the Winner residence, it took him over ten minutes to 
get out of the house. Even outside, he was so self-conscious, he 
completely missed the chattering duo inside the supposedly 
'deserted' hangar. He was suddenly jerked out of his disgusted 
contemplation of his degrading attire as he registered the elegant 
lady turning around at his approach. Wufei looked up and stared. 
     What is _SHE_ doing *here*?! He quickly scanned the tall, 
refined-looked lady. 
     She was clad in an outfit similar to one of the performers at 
Trowa's circus. A tight, half-black, half-gold tank top, underneath 
a small vest, was cut at midriff, revealing her middle. A gold band 
set with a jewel encircled her slender waist and a frilly, gossamer 
skirt reached halfway down her thighs, fluttering loosely with her 
graceful movements; a similar frill cuff peeked from each strap of 
her tank top. She had wide golden bands, resembling her belt, around 
her lower arms, each set with a shimmering jewel. Her right arm had 
some sort of decorative armband that was also set with several 
jewels. 
     Wufei noted the leather boots wrapped closely around her feet 
as she turned to face him with the calmest, most courteous face he'd 
ever seen. A linked jewel swung freely underneath the leather choker 
around her neck as the pair of eagle feathers swiveling with the 
smooth movement of her head. Her swept back hair revealed a high 
forehead, of which a linked chain was strung refinely across. She 
looked at him with clear, dark-lashed, emerald eyes.
      After observing all the characteristics of her clothing, Wufei 
abruptly reached a conclusion and automatically blurted out a 
question. "You're one of Trowa's friends aren't you?"
      "Really?" A bemused, feminine voice breathed, somewhere above 
their heads. Wufei started and looked up. A dark, shadowy figure 
lanced down, landing abruptly, and snapped up, sharply aiming a gun 
at both of them. "You both know Trowa?" the hostile woman stated, 
rather than asked. "Atashi wa Hade. Yorishiku. Anta," Hade inclined 
her head towards Wufei. "Dare da?"
      "Hn. Atashi wa Tenshin." Wufei studied the woman, edging 
nervously at the sight of her gun. "Hajimeshite," Wufei added 
reluctantly, minding his manners. "What do you think you're doing 
here?"
      "I might ask the same of you," the other two girls 
chorused simultaneously. They looked at each other, their faces 
mirror images, frowning minimally.
      "..." The trio stared at each other. Wufei and Trowa's circus 
friend eyed Hade's pistol nervously. Drat, Wufei cursed silently, I 
hadn't thought of carrying a weapon with this...
      **eeaaakk**
      All three spun around as a door off to the side creaked open.

      Quatre nervously wedged the panel door open, wincing at the 
creak it emitted. I really should have the doors oiled... I can't 
believe that even in one of the most sophisticated labs built, there 
are squeaky doors. He eased in quietly and carefully locked the 
door, sighing in relief. Finally, I got here without been seen. I 
can't believe how many people walk around the mansion at 10:00 AM...
     Then he noticed the other three people in the room.
      "Ara!" he yelped, forgetting to contain himself. He 
automatically hid both hands behind his back, featherduster prop and 
all. 
     I thought no one was suppose to be in here today...! Wait, could 
it be they're agents from OZ operation centers?! Quatre thought 
frantically. He quickly looked the intruding trio over, moving his 
hand to the closest alarm button. He stopped short. 
      The gorgeous Asian caught his eye first. What she was wearing 
definitely proclaimed she was *not* here for espionage. Tall, 
stately, the exquisitely dressed woman screamed out for attention. 
She had on a resplendent ceremonial kimono wrapped with a swathe of 
cloth, marked with squares at the edges, around her small waist.  
The pattern of autumn leaves and blossoms delicately accented the 
lush, dark blue of the superb cloth. She had on traditional Chinese 
slippers, and her raven hair was caught up in two small buns on 
either side of her head. They were covered with some white cloth, 
clinched up with a beautiful string of beads on each odango. She 
gazed with fiery, dark, almond-shaped eyes above a small, crimson 
painted mouth.   
      The other who looked like she dressed for an entertainment 
performance didn't look dangerous either. She appeared to be 
extravagantly cultivated. Quatre did a double take when he noticed 
the gun held in the last girl's hand. She looked uncertain, struggling 
to figure out where to strategically aim her gun which apparently 
couldn't cover all three of them at the same time.
     The quartet stared hypnotized at one other...
     Then the sound of someone cheerfully whistling echoed down the 
hall, an ominous clanking clattered... All four jerked, their nerves 
already overstrung...

     Duo hopped energetically to one of the doorways into the 
Gundams' hangar... carelessly clashing his tools against one another 
as he strode down the hall. As he finally entered the garage, he 
flicked on the lights... and found a gun practically shoved up his 
nose. 
     "OI!!!" he yelped, jumping back in alarmed reaction. "Baka 
yaro! Watch where you're aiming that thing... huh?!?!"
     Duo stared at a surprised girl dressed in a school uniform who 
was on the other end of the gun. Then he noticed the other three 
girls scattered around the hangar, frozen with shock at his 
appearance. The young maid blushing at the corner particularly 
caught his attention. She was a pretty thing. Her orange and gold 
maid uniform matched her cornsilk hair and highlighting her lovely 
sea-blue eyes. The fluffy white bow and orange-yellow laced slippers 
definitely was a nice touch. So was the flowery embroidery on her 
right strap of her outfit. The flower-embroidered hairband was a 
nice addition too. However that wasn't the eye-catching thing about 
her. Nope... it has to be the ropes of pearls strung around her arms 
and neck... Yeah... that's it... Duo mused calmly. Why's she here? I don't 
think Quatre has maids dusting the Gundams... though that would be 
nice. Hm... did she hijack the jewelry from Quatre...?
     "DUO?!?!?!" the entire group shouted. (Well... Trowa and Heero 
spoke in surprise). Hade finally lowered her gun.
     Then all four of them looked at each other and asked 
unanimously. "Wait, you know Duo?"
     "Gomen kudasai..." Duo interjected politely. "What are you guys 
doing here? Especially you, the maid in the corner..."
     "Ara... a-atashi wa Qamar... I was just ordered to dust some things 
off..." Qamar stammered, before shutting up, realizing how incredibly 
lame *that* sounded. Gundams were not _dusted_. Not by any of 
Quatre's servants anyway... Qamar shifted nervously, pearls clattering 
against another.
     The four of them stared at Duo wordlessly, half blushing 
furiously, the other half casting their eyes downward.
     Duo frowned. He took a closer look at the milling quartet of 
two brunettes, one blonde, and one raven-hair lady. Something isn't 
right here... one Japanese, one Asian, one Arabian, and one... hey... Oh 
My GOD!!! 
     It clicked. The pieces fell neatly into place.
     Duo burst out laughing. His entire body shook with convulsions, 
the tools nearly slipped out of his grasp as he was caught up in his 
mirth. He wheezed, gasping for breath. He finally turned a pale 
shade of delicate blue and started choking slightly. He crumpled 
into a cross-legged position on the floor, tools and all, wheezing 
in unrestrained laughter.
     "???" All of them goggled at Duo's condition while turning 
faintly pink at the same instant.
     "Ara! Duo-kun daijoubu ka?!"
     "What the matter with you?!"
     "..." Erica had nothing to say on Duo's sudden psychotic 
behavior.
     "...Duo... Omae o korosu..." Hade said quietly in soft uncertain 
tones...
     All of them stopped short as they listened to themselves and 
froze. Slowly, with an omen of suffering and extreme embarassment, 
they turned to look at each other.
     "..." All four stared at one another for a long, agonizing 
moment.
     "Hade-san... you... that sentence sounded an awful like..." Qamar 
stuttered.
     Hade stared, wide-eyed, at the blonde, suddenly noticing a 
striking resemblance to a particular Arabian...
     "..." Erica looked at the scarlet-faced, walking-antique Asian. 
"...That tone of voice..."
     Her eyes... calm and pacified, without fear... they're like... 
Wufei's thoughts spun crazily in a cycle.
     "HEERO-KUN?!"
     "Quatre???"
     "Wufei???"
     "TROWA?!"
     "!!!" They spun around, shock coursing through their veins, at 
the mention of each others' names. They faced each other 
incredulously.
     Trowa was suddenly reminded of the way Hade had questioningly 
tilted her head to one side, eyes glinting, with deadly purpose. The 
same way as a particular person who had appeared in the darkneses of 
the night at Catherine and his trailer...
     "Hahahahahahahaa~" Duo gasped from somewhere on the ground. He 
managed to pry himself up and stared at them, still chuckling with 
mirth. "Gee, guys, this is a nice payback for making me suffer... but 
why the Hell are you guys dressed like that?!"
     "Indeed," Wufei grumbled, shooting the wide-grinning Duo with a 
venomous Look. "Why are you dressed up, Trowa? I lost the bet... and 
why are you," Wufei pointed accusingly at Quatre and then turned to 
look at Heero, "and you, dressed up like girls?"
     "..." Trowa crossed his arms, closing his eyes briefly. "No, you 
are wrong. I lost the bet... Therefore, I am here to pay up in full."
     Quatre looked at both of them with sweatdrops dropping off the 
back of his head. "Ara... Heero and I betted on who would win... so..." 
Quatre currently had huge eyes with an odd expression on his face.
     "That's right... and according to Trowa I had lost my bet with 
Quatre," Heero said, deadpan.
     "No... Wufei-kun lost... so I had to pay my side..." Quatre murmured.
     "Hmpgh," Duo choked. "Lemme get this straight. All four of you 
betted on one another and all of you thought you'd lost so you 
popped up at the same place at the same time to... pay... *snicker* up 
in full... and the punishment was to cross-dress???"
     Four Gundam pilot gave the Shinigami pilot the Stare of Death 
and Promise of Agonizing Torture.
     "Hey, really, you guys don't look half bad!"
     The Stares turned into Glares.
     "All of you pass for girls, very attractive ones... I'd probably 
tried to hit on you myself if I was interested--"
     Fists trembled, knuckles cracked, pulsating veins rose.
     "Hm... do you guys want to drop into town? I'm sure you'll knock 
the guys out-- ACK!" Fists and elbows landed on the long-haired 
pilot's head. Quatre stood in the background, visibly annoyed.
     "SHUT UP, DUO!!!" All present chorused.

                         **END**

    Source: geocities.com/ironic_balance/works/writtenworks

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