Disclaimer: Paramount owns all that belongs in the Star Trek universe I only borrow the characters so I can fool around with their minds and their bodies.

Rating: Tame 13

My thanks as always to Robin who wades through this nonsense of mine and makes it presentable

WHAT YOU ARE TO ME  Tom's POV

I sit on the other side of the mess hall with Harry, watching you talking with Tuvok and the Captain. Your smile is as bright as a summer’s day, as she makes some witty remark that Tuvok obviously doesn’t understand. I watch the Captain turn her gaze to you and lay her hand on your arm. And I watch as you cover her hand with your own in a gesture of friendship, nothing more nothing less. You glance up and spare me a smile, letting me know that all is well with you, and I'm glad. I'm glad that for another moment at least I have chased your fears away. I know how it feels to be alone. I know how it feels to be afraid. I was afraid of her once, her strength, her rank, and her feminine beauty. I knew I loved you long before I would admit it, but I knew she loved you too. So I played the waiting game or so I thought. What I didn't realise is that you were testing me, watching me, and teaching me, as I became more in control of my life. I realised that what I really wanted was you. I remember the first night you said you loved me. I remember how I scoffed and how I joked, but you kept repeating it until I believed. I remember the first night that you took me to your bed. I remember the warmth and security, and the sense of belonging I felt when wrapped in your arms. You healed me, and you made me whole. I remember the pain I caused you when every now and then I would lapse into the Tom Paris of before. When I called myself the names that so many others had done before me--a liar, a drunk, a whore and a murderer. I remember the tears that you shed when you thought I had fallen asleep. And as everything does, our lives have turned full circle. Now you are the one who doubts yourself. Now you are the one who thinks I am growing away from you. But that's not what is happening. I'm growing up. I'm healing and I'm happy, and you are my reason to believe in myself. I chased away your fears last night. I pushed them far into the back of your mind. I gave you all that I am and more, I gave you all that you made me. Our loving a slow, gentle healing is all that I could want. That along with that special place you have for me within your heart. I love you, I always will. Harry is muttering, shaking my arm and I realise it is time to go. I lift my tray and notice that I have eaten nothing; I got so engrossed in thinking about how you make me feel alive. I hand my tray to a slightly hurt Talaxian and make some excuse about feeling space sick, and then I turn to leave, but my path is blocked by that strong muscular body that my very essence craves. "I love you," you whisper and then you cover my lips with your own, and as the heat from your kiss flows through me, I feel strong.

~~~~Y~~~~