Part 19
One week later.
Jack entered the Gear Up room on the base; his body was weary and his mind was ready to shut down. He'd been back at work for exactly four days - three of which had just been spent off world on Px4098 with a dying Daniel clutched to his chest.
A Tok'ra agent had been made by one of Apophis' team and SG-1 were asked to go in and help pull their operative. It had been one hell of a mission - again!
On his first day back from his days of illness Jack was working in his office, trying to catch up the backlog of mission reports on his desk when the alarms went off and Jacob came a-calling. By the time he'd reached the gate room Jack found that Jacob wasn't alone - he'd brought his lap dog, Lantesh, as well. For a moment Jack could enjoy watching Martouf try to chat up Sam, yet again, but as soon as they started the briefing and discovered the gravity of the mission, things went south - fast!
With barely enough time to change into their BDU's Jack still managed to race off a quick call to Philip, breaking their dinner plans and telling him that he had no idea when he'd be able to call again. Philip had said he understood but was clearly disappointed. It was going to be their first date in a very long time and the first time they'd seen each other since that night Philip had left him to suffer with his cold alone. Jack had hesitated then just as he was about to hang up he told Phil that he loved him and would be home as soon as he could.
As he headed to the gate room, he saw Graham sitting at the control desk. Jack raised his hand to the peak of his cap and tilted his head a little. Graham had understood and gave a small nod in response. Jack turned towards the twirling ring and knew that Graham would keep an eye on Phil for him while he was gone - and take care of him should he not return.
As the agent had already been made before going in, the gate was heavily guarded and, despite sending through a MALP equipped with sort range missiles and launching some missiles through the gate from earth, they still lost Darrell from SG-4 the minute they stepped through. Daniel was next to drop - shot by enemy fire during the ensuing volley of fire before he could clear the gate completely and make it to cover. Partially hidden by the DHD the injured man was the least of Jack's problems as he tried to beat back more than a handful of hostiles that each wanted to take him down.
But Jack, being Jack, managed to overcome his immediate threats and as soon as he could, he crawled over to his fallen friend, calling to Sam and Teal'c to provide coverfire as soon as they could. As he scraped across the dirt to reach his friend, Jack didn't think it looked good. Daniel was face down, no movement, and blood was seeping into the ground under his cheek and upper torso. He shuffled into position beside him, ducking whenever it seemed the crossfire was swinging too close to them and throwing himself over the lifeless body to protect him from more hits. All the while he called to Daniel, demanding him to wake up. Grabbing a fistful of green jacket Jack shook him as he continued to duck flying bullets. Teal'c, having removed all immediate threat of hostiles from his portion of the woods, moved over to lay in coverfire for Jack. This gave the colonel enough time to grab Daniel by the jacket and drag him to safety.
That was when he felt it - the gut-wrenching thud at the back of the head before he felt nothing anymore. He slumped face down over Daniel's body, his cheek pressed against the rise of the unconscious man's rump. Struggling to keep his happy thoughts intact when all around him was going to hell, Jack hurriedly pushed himself up off his friend, gripped the back of the green jacket with both hands before he unceremoniously continued to drag Daniel to safety.
Collapsing in exhaustion and excruciating pain, Jack slumped against a tree, heaving to catch his breath. He wiped his arm across his forehead then reached for Daniel to pull him into his lap, keeping him closer and safer. After a quick, tentative touch to the back of his head to ensure he wasn't bleeding the colonel (stupidly) let his head loll back, slamming it harder against the trunk than he'd anticipated. Flinching once more he sat up again, his eyes fighting to stay open. Again his head rolled back- this time it stayed there as Jack's eyes fluttered closed.
With a harsh jerk Jack jolted awake when a bullet ricocheted off the tree trunk right beside his left ear. Dazed and confused, he quickly shook Daniel to rouse him, but the unconscious man wouldn't wake. A little clearer in the head now, Jack simply scrunched lower to protect himself from flying bullets.
Constantly twisting this way and that to ensure their safety Jack was suddenly sickened to his stomach when Daniel's hand slipped off his lap and thudded on the ground, lifelessly. Quickly he rolled him over onto his back and crawled over him, desperate to locate a pulse anywhere on him. He tried his throat, but felt nothing. Placing his ear to the partially opened mouth Jack silently pleaded with his friend to still be alive. Gaining no joy there, he slipped his hand under the jacket and the t-shirt and pressed his palm against the wet, mushy skin. A single tear sprung to his eye as he felt the slow, but steady, heartbeat. Looking down at the handsome face all Jack could see was blood. Blood on his face, blood mattered his long hair to his forehead and jaw, blood soaked his shirt and stuck it to his chest. Jack had cursed under his breath then looked around for something with which to clean his friend up. He located Daniel's water bottle and then took Daniel's hat and, wetting it, gently wiped the congealed blood from the man's face. All the while he quietly pleased with him to hang on until they could get him to Janet.
Sooner than he'd thought possible the gunfire ceased. Sam, Martouf and Jacob had joined them behind the trees and discovered Daniel lying in Jack's lap, his jacket stripped off to reveal a shot to the chest and a scar of dried blood across his cheek and ear where a bullet had skimmed the surface.
Daniel was partially conscious now, and Jack was trying to pour water in his mouth. They were safe where they were but trapped, separated from what remained of SG-4 by a large expanse of unshielded ground. Reinforcements for the hostiles were spotted coming in so Jacob, Teal'c, Sam and Martouf occupied themselves with working on a strategic plan to get out of there, leaving Jack, who was still not fully recovered from his own recent bout of sickness, to tend to the injured team member.
After four hours Daniel's condition worsened. The young man was drenched in sweat, his face was flushed and his breathing was erratic. Jack didn't like his signs and hoped to god that the others would get them the hell out of there, PDQ!
Four hours stretched to eight, stretched to sixteen. Jack watched as his friend's life slowly slipped from him. During lucid moments Daniel had managed to follow a simple conversation with his CO but then he'd pass out or start rambling and Jack knew that the pain was searing throughout the torn body and overcoming any clear thought Daniel had.
More hours passed, hours in which Jack tried to keep his friend from slipping away completely. But Jack's own strength seeped away with every tick of the clock as well. His head thumped badly and his heat was racing. His throat, which had felt fine for the past day, was raw and parched, protesting at ever swallow Jack made. His breathing was labored, hampered by the heavy weight crushing down on his chest, but Jack wouldn’t shift Daniel. Not an inch. He constantly regripped the jacket, tugging weakly to keep his friend as close as he could. Had Daniel's breath been stronger Jack would surely have felt them on his throat and, when he looked down to check on him, against his lips. But whenever he went closer to Daniel he felt nothing. At one point the shaking colonel placed his fingers over the desiccated lips, and found solace in the tiny puffs he felt. He would brush his lips across the golden hair, silently pleading with his friend to fight just that little bit harder, to wait just that little bit longer.. to hold on…
The blackness confused him. He was unsure of where he was, what time it was or who it was shaking him awake. Then he recognized Sam’s voice in the darkness. She had been trying to wake him for a few moments, and was relieved when he gave a groan of protest at being stirred from his rest. She told him that it was late and that they had to go, now! They’d defeated the latest wave of hostiles but she couldn’t be sure how soon it would be before others arrived, and they were very low on ammo.
He felt strong arms go around him and recognized Jacob’s voice as he told him quietly to let Daniel go. But Jack couldn’t. It was as if his fingers were frozen into the white-knuckled, vice-like grip he had on Daniel's black t-shirt. In the end Sam had to gently pries the two men apart, and Teal’c carefully collected the inert man into his arms while Jacob, and Martouf, helped Jack to his feet. The colonel’s body protested the move, his joints in his hips and knees locked from the static position for too long. Jacob bore the weight of the legless man as they all quietly mad their way to the dais in the dark, stepping over charred bodies littered across the battle-scarred world.
Solemnly the group reached the gate and Sam, with Martouf, immediately moved to the DHD. Jack could see, even in the darkness, that Darrell's body still lay on the stones, two and a half days after it had fallen.
Reverently the CO of SG-4, Colonel Gordonshire, moved in and scooped up the stiffened body into his arms. Barely able to keep the bile from rising up his throat, he took the young officer off to the side while the gate burst to life. Sadness sliced through Jack's heart as he watched the limp, lifeless body in the other colonel’s arms. He could sympathize. There was no worse feeling than returning one of you men - killed in action. Squeezing his eyes shut, Jack turned his face away only to open his eyes and see Daniel, cradled against Teal’c’s chest as they waited for the gate to open. Shakily he raised his hand to the blood matted hair then shifted his eyes to look at the outline of the dark man beside him. No words were exchanged. None were needed.
As soon as the unstable vortex lit up the night sky like it was day, cries could be heard from the trees around them. Without turning around the battle weary group jumped through the gate, leaving the Tok’Ra op still in the clutches of the Goa’ulds.
The minute they stepped through to the other side, Jack knew something was wrong. Instead of the gate room he had sand, whipping at his face and exposed arms. He was slowly becoming aware of a conversation – not between Jacob and Martouf, but between Selmak and Lantesh. Orders were barked and Lantesh shielided his face as he ran across the desolate world. Selmak indicated to Teal’c to follow, which the Jaffa did without hesitation. Turning to the man propped against him, Selmak gave a strange smile then shifted his gaze to Gordonshire. Sam was already instructing him to follow Teal’c and the Colonel did. With the other ahead of them Selmak lowered his head and when th elooked up again, it was Jacob’s gentle voice that Jack heard. He asked if Jack felt the need to use the sarcophagus and Jack then recognized the world they were on. This was the same world they had brought Daniel to three months ago when the Rectogs killed him. Jack looked around. The night sky was brighter and he could make out shapes in the distance, disappearing into the side of a mountain. Shaking his head, Jack said he didn’t need the healing device, that a bump on the head was nothing to him. Jacob had laughed at that comment. Together the men waited until the others returned.
Jack was sure that the arm Teal’c had around Daniel was merely a precaution. Gordonshire didn’t look so hot though, and Jack had a secret smile to himself. /Thought you were bringing home a dead one, eh!/
The colonel was happy to see the young man, due to marry his childhood sweetheart in one weeks time, return to the gate under his own steam, even if he was a little shaky.
As Sam dialed up the DHD for home again Jack peeled himself from Jacob’s clutches and almost fell into Daniel's arms. The two men held on tightly, neither willing to give up the embrace until the gate was stable and the time to go was upon them. In the blue light of the gate Jack pulled back and stared at his friend. Daniel still looked like shit, with dried blood and matted hair, but he was living and breathing – and his smile, for Jack, was breath taking.
So they went through the gate, but as the two men stepped up to the shimmering wall, they turned and gave each other one quick glance before stepping through, both on their right foot first.
On the other side Jack looked around the gate room then his eyes suddenly collided with Graham’s stare from the control room. Both men held the stare a moment until Jack reached the end of the ramp and threw off a sloppy salute to the awaiting General. Hammond, who looked like he hadn’t slept in three days, smiled at his ragtag team as he returned the salute.
The news was good for the earth team – Darrell was fine, Daniel was fine. But things were not so good for the Tok’Ra. Their inside man was still.. inside. Reluctantly Jack knew they would have to plan another attack, this time with more ammunition and better preparation, but right now all he wanted to do was shower and clean off Daniel's blood from his hands, chest, throat and stomach.
After he’d been given the all clear from Janet, the colonel remained in the infirmary, to ensure himself that Daniel was okay. He hung around, watching over Janet's shoulder like an expectant father as she made her checks. The two friends kept exchanging looks and slight smiles - both obviously tired but overjoyed that Daniel was still alive! Soon though, Jack had become so much of a shadow behind Janet as she worked that she threatened to throw him out of her infirmary. He'd muttered something then pulled a childish face behind her back - making Daniel snigger - before he settled himself quietly onto the next bed, holding his hands up in placation when the female doctor glared at him. When Daniel had been given the all-clear Jack threw his arm across his shoulders and personally escorted the anthropologist to the debriefing room.
Throughout the debrief, which Sam and Jacob delivered for the most part, Jack felt his weariness and lethargy return. Almost before the end of the hour-long session he was yawning and straining to keep his eyes open. He would look up after each yawn, and if he'd been discovered doing it, he'd shrug slightly in way of an apology.
Now, as he began to slowly peel off his clothes and prepare himself for a steaming hot shower, all he could think about was going home and, perhaps, seeing Philip. It was too late to call him now but it was all Jack could think of and hope that maybe his lover would be at his house, waiting for him. It was unlikely, but he remained pessimistically optimistic. As the strong stream pummeled his aching muscles Jack gave himself over to a fantasy; a chaste one where he and Philip were entangled in whites sheets on his bed – it was a sunny afternoon and they were there, laughing and talking with this arms entwined and their legs slowly caressing. The young artist would be lying back against his chest as they toyed with each other’s hands. Shaking himself from that serene thought and with a wistful sigh he started to scrub the grime away from his body.
The late hour meant that nearly everyone else was home and the base was on skeleton crew for the night shift. Hammond had suggested that Teal'c drive Daniel home but the two of them said 'No" so quickly and at the same time that it put an end to that suggestion completely. Daniel argued that he could stay the night on the base instead. Sam piped up at that point and, after promising to see him all the way up to his front door, offered to drive the archaeologist home. Daniel had smiled gratefully at her, but told her that he was still considering his options.
After the debrief Jack didn’t see anyone else so he had no idea who was and who wasn’t around anymore. And, as he settled himself under the strong, hot stream, he didn’t care either! He reveled in the silence. It was quiet there - peaceful - and he could think. By the time he was switching off the shower he'd come to a decision. He needed, and wanted, time alone with Philip. Time where he couldn't be called in to work unexpectedly. Time where Philip wouldn't feel guilty for not being at work. They needed a holiday - together. As he wrapped his towel around his waist and headed to his locker he'd decided to go and see the General and ask for some time off. All too aware that they still had to go in a rescue the Tok’Ra operative, Jack thought that perhaps a few weeks down the track he could secure himself a week’s vacation and then he and Philip could go to the cabin. Perhaps he could take him fishing - not that he could imagine the younger man out there with a fishing rod in his hand, but he could well imagine some of the beautiful pictures his talented hands could create in that serene surroundings.
*
Hammond was curious about the requested leave, but all Jack would tell him was that it was for 'personal' reasons. Reluctantly, the General approved a week vacation and decided that Major Carter would be allowed to take the team for that week. Jack had agreed, albeit tiredly, and thanked the CO before leaving the office quietly.
Watching the downcast man go out of his office, Hammond was very concerned. He'd watched the spark go from Jack's eyes over the past few months but he didn't know why. He had noted that the colonel and Daniel had repaired whatever it had been eating at their friendship all those months ago, so he didn't think it had anything to do with that. He supposed it might have been something to do with Sara, but he couldn't imagine what that might be. As he stood in his office, staring out through the glass window into the debriefing room next door, he thought about the man who - despite being as irreverent as he was - was one of the best soldiers he'd had had the privilege of working with in his whole entire career.
It was because of Jack's loyalty and dedication to his work that Hammond wished he could let him take the time straight away, but it was unfeasible. The team needed to be back on deck after only one day of leave so that they could make another raid on the Goa’ulds and try to rescue the Tok’Ra operative. After that, Hammond had assured him, he could take a whole week off – two if he wanted. Jack had nodded his bowed head and muttered something under his breath, which might have been thanks of some kind, as he turned to leave the office. As the door clicked shut quietly behind him, George Hammond realized he missed his friend’s dry wit and sharp-tongued repartee.
*
As Daniel left the gear up room, adjusting the cuff of his sleeve, he decided that he needed some coffee before trying to make the long trek home so late at night and after such a hectic mission. It went through his mind, briefly, to stay on base for the night, but with only one day off before they tried to go in a rescue this Tok’Ra op again he was eager to get back home to a documentary on Egypt that he'd taped during his absence.
Pushing on the doors he entered the deserted commissary and was instantly greeted with the strong aroma of the brewing coffee. His mouth twitched slightly as he poured the black steaming brew into a foam cup, then he looked around, able to take his pick of a seat in the empty room at this late hour. Maybe there were some advantages to returning so late on a mission. Least he didn't get the dregs of the coffee and he didn't need to shoulder anyone for a seat.
He hung his heavy head as he cradled the foam cup carefully between his two palms. With a languid sigh that burst into a yawn, he fought to keep his eyes from closing. Suddenly the door squeaked open and he looked up. Lieutenant Simmons entered the quiet room; unaware that Daniel was in the corner. After pouring himself a coffee he turned, and that's when the two men's eyes met. They held the gaze a long moment then Graham tilted his head slightly, asking the question silently. Daniel blinked more than nodded, but it was enough and the younger man joined him at the table.
"May I, Daniel?" Came the soft, satiny voice that Daniel once knew oh-so intimately. It stirred something within him that the anthropologist put down to simple fatigue and the fact that he really needed to get a good night's sleep. He slowly scanned up the body before him until he reached the hesitant smile on the good-looking officer's face then, with a slight flick of his fingers, he gestured towards the chair.
"Sure," he said, as he mentally kicked himself for allowing his eyes to linger on the black pouch at eye level before him. Rubbing his hands over his face now, he moaned softly as he shifted in his seat, bringing his legs back to tuck underneath him.
“Are you okay.. now?”," Graham asked cautiously.
"Yeah.” Daniel sighed, almost making coming back from near-death seem like and everyday occurrence. Just needed a little pick me up before attempting the long drive home though." The anthropologist lifted his cup, waggling it slightly to make his point.
"Tell me about it. I make the trip home first thing every morning and some days I swear it's purely on instincts. My eyes are firmly shut."
"That's dangerous.," Daniel commented then he frowned. He was about to say that he'd seen him at work during the day, but didn't get the chance before Graham spoke again.
"Yeah, I guess it is." The young officer sighed as he lifted his cup to his lips and took a sip of the steaming liquid.
The two men sat in silence a while until Daniel started to give indications that he was ready to go. Graham looked up.
"So -" he said, seemingly desperate to make conversation. Daniel resettled into his chair and laid his hands on the table again. He recognized that Graham was trying to start something here and wanted to see where it might go. It had been such a long time since they'd spoken. Here was neutral ground, at least.
"How have you been?" They said together then both laughed softly. Graham held off until Daniel told him first.
"Busy.." He said with a nod. Graham nodded also.
"Yes, I see you've been off -world a lot.. lately.."
"I think Jack's just about ready to throttle every Goa'uld for keeping him from ugh.. home..."
They fell into an awkward silence a moment then Graham sighed and said, "Phil's missed him a lot, too."
Daniel didn't comment - he merely arched his brow slightly as he kept his eyes fixed on his hands before him. Graham lifted his drink to his mouth once more and another discomfited silence fell over them.
*
By the time Jack O'Neill entered the commissary though they'd moved on dramatically, both laughing and joking - just like old times. The colonel looked over and wondered who was being so loud at such a late hour, and saw them. With a little roll of his eyes he grabbed up the coffee pot and headed over to the table.
"Hello," He had to say to get their attention, despite standing beside them a few moments with the coffee pot in his hands. Daniel looked up and said, casually, "hi Jack. What brings you into the commissary at this time of night?"
The older man held up the pot and Daniel made an appreciative sound as he passed his cup over. Graham also held his cup up, and the look the colonel gave the lieutenant as he filled his cup clearly told Graham that he shouldn't get used to being served by Jack. No way. No how. He returned the pot to the hotplate, spilling some of the scorching liquid on his hand, right on the soft fold of flesh between the thumb and the first finger.
"Sheeeet!" Jack hissed as he shook his hand furiously.
Daniel looked up from the table then, as his friend returned to them he asked, "you okay?"
Jack stopped his frantic hand waving and stared at him a moment. "Yes, Daniel, I'm just peachy!"
Rolling his eyes as the sting of sarcasm hit him, Daniel muttered, "I only asked."
"I poured boiling coffee onto my hand, do I look okay?" Jack snapped, holding his hand out. Daniel looked at it, did a double take and looked at it again. He quickly grabbed it and held it.
"Graham, get me some ice, please," he said, and immediately the younger man got up and raided the soda dispenser for some ice.
"It's fine, stop fussing," Jack growled quietly to the anthropologist.
Daniel glared at him. "Two minutes ago you're snarling because I didn't care enough, now you're growling because I am?" He said. Jack stared at him a long moment then gave a tiny shrug as his mouth flapped open and shut silently. Graham returned with the ice and passed it to Daniel as he shot a wary look between the two men. Daniel soothed some ice over the red skin, causing Jack to flinch slightly.
"How's that feel now?" Daniel asked in a soft, deep voice as his long fingers glided over the icy, slippery skin.
"Fine-" Jack mumbled quietly, watching the smooth, tanned hand move over his own craggier one. Daniel looked up again and smiled and Jack returned the smile, a little hesitantly. The younger man frowned and Jack's eyes slotted towards where Graham was sitting with his head bowed. Blinking like he just realized he was there again, Daniel grabbed another piece of ice and went back to smoothing it over the raw skin.
"So what were we talking about?" He asked, trying to re-ignite the conversation. Graham frowned then pressed his hands onto the table in an effort to get up. "I really should be going. I'm only on a short tea-break."
"No. Stay." Daniel demanded, and then watched as Graham quickly glanced at Jack before sitting down again.
"Sure, why not. Walter can cover me a little while longer."
A genuine smile filled Daniel's face now. "Good."
"We were discussing gate addresses," Graham reminded him. Jack's brow arched high, clearly finding it an odd conversation.
"Ah yeah," Daniel said in a soft voice as he settled back in his seat but didn't relinquish the hand in his. His fingers unconsciously traced across Jack's tender skin now, but neither man seemed to be objecting.
"From the MALP reports, it looked like a beautiful place," Graham said of a recent idyllic planet they had discovered. He resumed his task of drinking coffee, and seemingly ignoring the caress between the two friends.
"It was,” the anthropologist said. A perfect place for a holiday.”
With a quirky smile, making the dark eyes shimmer slightly, Graham said, "If you like that kind of thing."
Daniel chuckled quietly in the back of his throat.
Jack cut in. "You don't like beaches?" He asked.
"Oh," Graham looked at Daniel as if remembering the colonel was there suddenly then he looked at Jack, before dropping his eyes to watch the joined hands. Immediately, Daniel let go of Jack then lightly laced his fingers together and placed them on the table in front of him.
"Graham loves beaches," Daniel told him as he watched the lieutenant carefully. The smile filling the dark face was breathtaking as Graham bowed his head slightly and stared at the ring his coffee cup left behind on the cloth.
"Did you go to any beaches in Canada?" Daniel asked.
Graham seemed surprised that he knew he'd even gone. It made him smile more. "Yes I did. I went to Wreck beach..”
Jack head tilted back quickly as he looked at the younger man. "That's a nudist beach, isn't it?"
Graham colored and wet his lips quickly as he nodded. "Ah, Yes, Sir, it is."
Jack, with brow quirked quizzically, shifted his gaze onto Daniel as he said, "Oh."
"I'm surprised you know of it, Colonel," Graham said respectfully.
"I spent a lot of time in Minnesota. It's a hop, skip and jump onto Canadian soil from there." He said that with a dismissive shrug then added, "Though I don't recommend hopping, or skipping or jumping - on a nudist beach.."
Daniel shot him a deadly look as Graham turned beet red and lowered his face. The older man silently mouthed the word, "what?" as he screwed his nose up and shrugged. Daniel rolled his eyes and shook his head at his friend.
Daniel deliberately turned his attention back to Graham. "I can't imagine you at a nudist beach..." He said, sounding a little in awe of the idea.
"Please," Jack growled softly as he screwed his nose up in distaste this time. "I'm trying hard not to here, okay?"
Daniel shot another dagger look towards his friend then quickly looked at his ex-lover, just in time to see him blush and look down a little coyly. Jack wasn't sure if he heard it or imagined it but he was sure the words - 'I'm not' - floated in the air between them and it could have only come from Daniel. He shivered slightly.
Pressing his hands onto the tabletop, he pushed himself to his feet. Daniel arched his throat to look up at him.
"You're going?"
"Yeah, I want to go home and find Philip and have sex.. lots and lots of sex.. and vegetables.. though not during the sex.."
"Jack!" Daniel sounded mortified as he shot Graham a quick look.
"What?" Jack looked totally mystified.
"I wish you wouldn't," Daniel told him.
"Wish I wouldn't what? Have sex?"
After a moment he said, "No," then through slightly gritted teeth as he nodded towards Graham, he added, "I mean tell me about it!"
"I thought you and I shared this kind of stuff now?" Jack said.
"Well, maybe we shouldn't," Daniel said. Jack raised his arms from his side and shrugged.
"Whatever. You should go and get some sleep. You look like shit, Jackson!"
"That's what I like about you Jack. You know all the right things to say to me, to make me feel that little bit special!"
Daniel heard Graham's soft scoffing and looked over to see he was laughing to himself. Jack lightly hit him in the shoulder with the back of his hand and Daniel looked up. "Thanks Space Monkey!" Holding his hand up, he said, "For the hand job."
Daniel caught his breath in the back of his throat and cautiously looked over at his ex-lover to gauge his reaction. There seemed to be none. Rising to his feet quickly, Daniel lifted Jack's hand again for one final assessment. "You got any cream at home? You might need to put some on."
"I'll get Phil to rub it in," Jack said with a wink and Daniel diverted his eyes as his mouth dropped open and his tongue played across the tops of his teeth.
"Sure, whatever," he mumbled. "Just do it."
"Fully intend to, Danny boy," Jack said, patting him on the shoulder then turning to go with a muttered goodbye to Graham. Daniel waited for him to go and sat again.
"I really should get back to work,'" Graham said. Daniel nodded.
The younger man looked at him and said, "But there's something I wanted to ask you first."
Daniel looked at him and tilted his face slightly, awaiting the question.
"How are you? Really, I mean? I heard you and Teal'c ......"
"Separated? Yes, we did, though where you heard it from I'd like to know."
"Relax, it was Phil."
Daniel seemed relieved and nodded his head. "Ah, of course."
"He told me you told him it was your idea..."
Daniel said nothing as he licked his lips slowly while he stared into the dark brown eyes opposite him.
"That you weren't sure of your feelings for someone else."
Lowering his eyes to the tabletop again, Daniel arched his brow and pressed the palms of his hands against the blue cloth.
"Was he right?"
There was a long silence and finally Daniel said, in a small voice, "I did something really stupid."
"Ending it?" Graham asked.
Rolling his head back until he could look him straight in the eye, Daniel said, "Starting it." With a frown that clearly indicated suppressed pain, Daniel went on to tell him, "I was hurting at the time.."
"I know," Graham said, his voice full on contrition as he inched his hands across the blue cloth towards the anthropologist's between them. "I was hurting too. I ended things with Chris."
"Yeah," Daniel said, quickly raising one hand to his mouth then returned it to the space between them. "Phil told me."
"Maybe we're both stupid for starting something we shouldn't have?" Graham suggested. Daniel met and held his intense gaze for a few long moments.
"Maybe," he said, dropping the gaze and muttering, almost to himself; "I guess that's what happens when you don't let yourself be honest about things. Or talk to those you care about - let them know you care?"
Graham watched the bowed head closely. "Or if you don't tell those you love, that you - really and truly - love them."
Daniel didn't react to that other than to raise his brows briefly.
"But then," Graham went on, "I knew how you felt about me. I was just gutless and an idiot, what more can I say?"
Daniel laughed softly as he sat back, dropping his hands into his lap while he said, "That just about covers it."
Graham smiled and got up out of his chair to move to the one Jack had been in. Shifting it slightly, he could reach Daniel's hands under the table without having to sit too close to him. Daniel seemed to jerk at the touch, looking at Graham like he was seeing him again for the first time.
"Look, I'd really like another chance with you, Dan.."
Blinking, the dumbfounded anthropologist just stared at him. There seemed something different about him. Something self-assured. It was rather attractive.
"Maybe we could go out to dinner one night?"
After swallowing hard, Daniel stammered, "you would?"
"I'm a different man, Daniel. Let me prove it. I promise you, if Jack tried to come between us again I'd tell him to go fuck himself!"
"WHAT?" Daniel had never heard Graham use such a word.
"Well he isn't the only one possessive of you, you know. Why do you think I shifted to nights?"
"To avoid Jack?"
"To avoid you - watching you and not having you. I can't bear that. I want you, Dan..." His voice was low and breathy - and such a turn-on for the tired anthropologist.
By now, Daniel was having heart tremors now. "Me?" He rose to his feet, stepping backwards as Graham got to his feet too.
"Isn't that what we've been discussing?" Graham asked, stepping over chairs to reach Daniel, who was still stepping backwards.
Daniel looked around frantically but he knew the place was deserted at this time of night. Looking down, he saw Graham close the gap between them. "No, I mean... no, I haven't been... Ugh.." He held his hand out and halted Graham in mid step. Clenching his teeth in determination, he ignored his body's reaction and said "No!" directly and clearly.
Graham frowned. "I thought? What the hell were we discussing then?"
"I don't..?" Daniel said shrugging and shaking his head.
Graham frowned. "It's Jack all over again, isn't it? Only this time... he's your problem.. not mine!"
"No, God, no!" Daniel said, desperate for him to believe that. He cupped the smaller man's face in both hands and tried to smile at him but Graham's eyes flashed with anger. Suddenly....
... Daniel sat up in bed, his whole body heaving as he sucked back his breath and realized that it was all just a dream. A bead of sweat rolled down his sternum, pooling into the fold in his body as he sat up on outstretched arms. His head was spinning and his body on full alert. His groin was rock solid.
Groaning loudly he muttered, "Where the hell did that come from?" as he rolled over onto his side and gathered a pillow under his chest, lying across it and allowing room beneath his bent leg for his full-on erection. He sighed heavily, trying to clear his thoughts.
After a few seconds he shifted again, this time placing the pillow as if it were a chest he could lay upon, and he laid his hand lightly on the flat surface. His fingertips skimmed the cloth as he sighed, trying to settle his rattled nerves.
"Great," he muttered quietly, "Graham *and* Jack...?" He fondled the cloth gently. "What the hell am I thinking?" He pressed his hand flat against the pillow then sighed again. He tried controlling his breathing with calming images but all he could think of was the dream and the two men in it. Rubbing his hand over the imaginary chest he was laying on he hissed softly, "Oh, that's just peachy, Daniel! Just.." With building frustration and anger he gripped up the pillow and threw it across the room as his feet struggled with the sheets. Frantically he tried to kick them off, only to have them tangle around his angle more.
"Great!" He yelled through clenched teeth now as he finally reached down and removed the twisted bed sheet, then got up and went into the kitchen.
Daniel tugged his pajama bottoms back up over his hips as he padding out to his kitchen, his bare feet sticking to the wooden floor as he crossed to the fridge to grab the milk. He yawned as he poured a cup full of milk into the saucepan on the stove top, then he put the carton down and crossed his arms over his chest, slowly closing his eyes. He yawned again as he waited for the milk to froth up then rise slowly. Slowly he became aware of a slight tingling sensation rising up his spine as he watched the froth rise. He recalled, quite vividly now, standing there one night and laughing as Graham crept up behind him, gripping him tightly around the waist and biting his right shoulder playfully. The warm sensation continued up through his hair as he recalled the younger man asking if they really needed the sleep-inducing cocktail. Daniel had laughed and said he needed the rest, so yes, they did! Graham had dipped his finger into the cream then he placed the digit into Daniel's mouth and the archaeologist sucked it for all he was worth. The next morning the two men stumbled wearily into the kitchen to discover the abandoned milk and cups and cream still on the bench from the night before.
With a heavy sigh and a quick flick, the gas was out and Daniel concentrated as he poured the steaming milk into his cup, stirring as he went. He flicked off the kitchen light with his elbow then headed back into his bedroom, yawning as he went. He kicked the door closed with his foot then he put the cup by his bed as he climbed in under the covers. Soon he was fast asleep.
*
Unbeknownst to him, several floors above him and on the other side of the apartment building, two men laid tangled together fast asleep on a sun bed. They remained wrapped together like they had been when they were talking; Todd's hand lightly cupping up the side of Phil's face - preventing his head from rolling too far to the side- and his other hand was draped to the ground. Philip was lying back against him, his head resting on the curve of Todd's neck and shoulder, his face turned towards his friend's throat.
Everything was silent, except for the distance howl of a dog and faint traffic noise.
End of part 19
Stories on this page are the property of Nessessitee and Slida. Please do not copy these without the written permission of the Author. All Rights are acknowledged for MGM, Gekko and Stargate Productions as to the Copyrights of the characters within this story and no infringement on the copyrights are intended. For the Bombshells Series the character of Philip Simmons is entirely the creation and intellectual property of Nessessitee and Slida.
While the performances given by RDA and MS help to fuel the author's desire to write for their characters in a niche that she feels is present on the actual show, the portrayal of their characters in loving relationships in no way reflects the Author's opinion of the men's private life, nor should it be construed in that manner.