Part 31
After they'd satiated their need for contact, Philip and Jack both eased back at the same time and looked into each other's eyes. Jack gave a sharp jerk of his head, indicating that they should go and settle onto the sofa for their talk.
Settling beside the frail man Jack held his hand as he asked him, "Will you 'now' be honest with me? You're sick, aren't you? I'm not as stupid as I pretend to be, you know!" He gave a half smile then toyed with Phil's cold hand, stroking his thumb down the long, thin middle finger, over the callous formed from years of sketching. "Please, baby, I've known for a long time, you don't have a cold."
Phil lowered his face then he snorted. Even he knew it wasn't possible for someone to believe that line all this time, yet he wasn’t sure if he was brave enough to ask Jack what he thought was wrong with him.
Adjusting his position so that his attention was focused on Philip, Jack asked, "You ever gonna tell me?"
Slowly the dark eyes lifted and Phil swallowed before telling him, "I have cancer..."
The sudden rush of blood draining from his head to heart left Jack giddy. He'd suspected something 'big' like this but hearing it admitted took his breath away. He stared into the shimmering black pools, then he suddenly pulled Phil closer and hugged him, burying his face in the black hair once more as he softly whispered, "Oh, baby.. baby.."
Philip cried freely now - big, sobbing breaths as he grieved with Jack. All his bottled up fears and heartache finally spilled over, causing his head to thump with a sudden blinding headache and his body to shiver from head to toe.
He crawled onto Jack's lap, and the two of them remained locked in that embrace for a long time, both crying yet drawing strength from the other.
*
After a long while, in which the gloomy day outside became a cold night instead, Jack lifted his face and Philip pulled back. The younger man traced his bleary eyes over Jack's tear-stained cheeks then looked into the puffy brown eyes. It broke his heart to see Jack cry. He'd never seen him with his guard down this much. He knew he'd reduced this strong man to this. Fear filled Philip's throat and stilted his breathing. He felt his chest tighten with regret and his breathing became labored. He watched a silent tear slip out of the corner of Jack's eye and roll down his flushed cheek. He placed his hand over the track of the tear then lifted his eyes to look into Jack's once again.
"Damn you," he whispered hoarsely. "Damn you for not letting me go!"
Jack nudged his face into the hand as he said, in a choked voice, "I'll never let you go!" If sheer determination could make that possible, Philip could believe him.
Sniffing harshly, the young man said, through a mouthful of tears, "You're going to have no choice, Jack. And, unfortunately, you're going to have no choice - soon."
Shaking his head, Jack gripped him to his chest again and buried his face into the long hair. His breath, harsh and ragged now, blew against the black strands as he said, "Don't!"
"I'm dying.." Philip whispered and then started shaking within Jack's hold as if he'd realized that fact for the first time. His hand gripped up the sweater on Jack's shoulders as he cried softly, "Oh, god.. I don't want to leave you!"
Jack pulled him back abruptly, cupping the miserable face in his hands. With a sharp determination in his eyes he told him, "We're going to battle this -together."
"There's nothing to battle," Phil wept, wheezing as he shifted to sit on the sofa beside Jack. Swallowing down his tears he stared at his hands as he confessed, "I have Karposi Sarcoma." Tilting his face now, he was barely able to look into Jack's eyes, to see his devestation.
The silver-haired man nodded then finally said, in a tight voice, "So? There must be something they can do? They treat cancer, don't they?"
Philip shrugged silently.
"What about Chemo?" he suggested hopefully.
Philip screwed up his eyes. "I tried it..."
After a beat, Jack said, "Tried? What the hell does that mean?"
Philip looked at him; his lips were trembling as he wet them quickly before saying, "Please Jack. I tried it..."
Horrified, Jack whispered, "You're telling me you're not on any sort of therapy?"
"Why postpone the inevitable?"
"Why?" Jack blustered then jumped to his feet, pushing his hair back with both hands as he paced nervously. Wasn't that obvious? Didn't he want to spend as long as he could with him? Didn't he just say he didn't want to leave him? Why the hell wasn't he getting some kind of treatment for this? Unless.....
Jack stopped moving and turned to look at the man on the sofa. He looked so small. For the first time, he looked so damn ill! This softened his next question considerably from the initial harshness Jack felt. "How long?"
The soft tone of Phil's voice didn't hide the difficulty he had in talking about this. "Um, maybe four months.. maybe .. less.."
"Four months?" Jack asked, his knees suddenly turning to liquid. He almost stumbled as he reached out for the mantel. Philip jumped to his feet and was ready to go to him, but Jack held his hand out like a linebacker, keeping him at bay. He turned to the stone hearth, resting his elbows on the shelf before he covered his face.
Philip remained on the spot, helpless to act and unwilling to tell Jack that it was more along the lines of 'or less' than it was four months. They had time to discuss that - later. Jack was going through enough right now. Nervously Phil drilled his thumbnail into the raw patch on his other palm. Finally he found his voice and said, timidly, "I valued quality of life over quantity."
Jack didn't move for a long while. It seemed like minutes but it could only have been seconds. Then he slowly dropped his hands from his face, letting them fall onto the mantel as he turned to look at the other man. "Five months of quality?" He asked quietly.
Philip lifted his eyes to the ceiling as they filled with tears once more. "Yes," was all he could say once he'd stopped trembling enough to talk.
Jack held him in his gaze like Philip was a deer in his headlights. Neither man said anything for the longest time then Jack observed; "You're shaking."
Philip hugged himself and ran a hand up his arm as he said, in a quivering voice, "I'm cold."
Nodding, Jack moved numbly through the process of lighting a fire for him. The room was growing darker by the minute and he got up and switched on a lamp in the far corner, the one that Philip preferred as it didn't catch in the corner of his eye as he tried to watch the television. Jack watched him carefully as he walked back to the fireplace.
The younger man wanted to do something too, but he didn't know what.
From where he was squatted before the fire again Jack observed Philip out of the corner of his eye. He looked so lost, so bewildered. It reminded Jack of the time when he told Daniel about his test results.
"How about you make us a hot drink?" he suggested, somewhat more kindly than he felt. Philip looked at him, almost gratefully, and then he nodded and went up to the kitchen. Jack took the moment alone to cover his face again. With every fiber of his being he steeled himself against the rising tears he felt. He would not give in. He would not!
As soon as he heard a sound behind him he forced himself to pull together then he inhaled a deep breath to calm his shivers. Turning to look up over his shoulder he saw his concerned lover standing behind him with his cup cradled between both hands. Jack slowly rose to his feet and took the cup, offering a low, "Thanks," as he moved to put it on the coffee table. Philip went back to the kitchen for his own drink then returned, walking up to Jack's side. The older man took the cup from him and put it down also then he turned towards his lover and gently took him into his arms, pulling him close so that their body's melded together.
Philip wrapped desperate arms around him, clutching the maroon sweater to pull Jack as close as he could. He tilted his head back, his chin barely resting on the top of Jack's hunched shoulder, and he sucked in deep breaths through his parted lips.
"I did try that stuff," he whispered, and in return Jack gripped him closer. Any closer and Philip might have feared for the safety of his ribs, but for the moment the engulfing embrace was exactly what he needed.
Jack pulled back slowly and his soft, chocolate-brown eyes shifted across the blotchy face. "Can we talk about that?"
Philip nodded. "Can we sit down please?"
"Sure," Jack said, releasing him further. He saw a flicker of pain dart in the dark eyes. "Are you okay?"
"I can't stand for too long these days," Philip confessed quietly. Without questioning him Jack slipped his hand into the artist's thin one and then led him around the coffee table and to the sofa. They sat together; Phil leaned back against Jack's solid body and the older man crossed his arms over the slightly heaving chest as he cuddled him close.
"You okay?" He whispered against the black hair.
Adjusting his position slightly, Philip admitted, "Actually, no."
Like so many times when Jack had tried to cuddle against him while watching television Philip fidgeted. He shifted his legs, seeming to not know where to place them, and then he sat up straighter, then back. All were movements Jack recognized and was familiar with. So familiar was he that he half-expected Philip to get up now, mutter something about not being comfortable or needing to finish something in his room and leave him there, alone. It seemed he’d started to do that more and more whenever Jack came in too close to him.
So it surprised him when Philip turned around slightly and said, "I'm in pain.."
"Pain?" That was not the excuse he was expecting, or one that he’d every suspected before.
"My chest, my back and my legs. You probably haven't noticed but I don't stand an awful lot lately."
Jack thought about that. He realized that he rarely saw his lover standing these days. Philip often perched himself against something, like a desk or the arm of a chair, or he was sitting, on his stool in his room, or at the dining table, or in here, on the sofa. He thought about their most recent argument and internally cringed, realizing that Philip had been bracing himself against the wall throughout it, then against the back of his chair.
"Can I get you something to ease the pain?" Jack asked.
Philip pointed up towards the dining room table. "My stuff's up there."
Jack eased himself off the sofa and went into the bright dining room.
His hands shook as he reached for the brown paper bag, a rather large one, he'd noted at the hospital and now he knew why. He carefully turned out the contents onto his dining table. Plastic bottles filled with pills, boxes of Atrovent and steroids, and tubes of ointment spilled onto the surface. Jack watched as one of the brown bottles rolled a short distance away, threatening to fall off the edge of the table but instead it remained there, rocking back and forth in a tiny, jerky motion.
He searched for the painkiller and picked up the familiar bottle. He brushed his thumb over the label as he recalled the first night he met Philip - he'd given him a few of these to help ease his headache. Jack screwed his eyes shut tightly as an uncontrollable tremor ripped through him, causing a sickly feeling to crawl up his back and lodge deep in his throat. For a spilt second he thought he would be sick but he overcame that. Reigning in his emotions once more he chanted to himself, almost like a mantra, that he was not going to give in! Not give in! Suddenly feeling very old, he brought his hand up to rub his finger and thumb into the aching orbs then he jiggled the bottle in his hand as he pushed on the kitchen door and went in to get Philip a glass of cold water.
Numbly he came down the steps, his brain on shut down, his limbs feeling heavy. That was when he noticed how huddled Philip was on the sofa, curled up into a ball, his knees to his chest, his long arms wrapped tightly around his knees. The dark eyes were vacant as they stared into the fire and Jack caught himself wondering what he was thinking about.
Holding out the glass to him while remaining standing, Jack said, "Maybe you should go to bed."
"I thought you wanted to talk?" Philip asked, looking up then lifting the pills from Jack's hand.
Sniffing harshly, he said, "We can talk another time. You know what these do, they make you drowsy."
"I don't have to take them," the soft, velvety voice said, as he held off on putting the pills in his mouth.
"Take them," Jack told him. "You probably should sleep."
Philip swallowed the pills and downed the full glass of water. Nodding tiredly, he pushed himself onto his feet then sighed.
"I feel wiped," he muttered. Jack didn't comment on that, he merely nodded then put his arm around the narrow shoulders and guided the drowsy man to bed.
As they were about to go into the spare room Philip tilted his head and asked, "Can I sleep in your bed tonight?"
Jack looked at the unruly beard, and absurdly wished Philip would comb it or trim it right now. He blinked then said, "I'm not ready for bed at the moment."
"What I'm asking is to sleep in your bed, Jack."
With a slight nod, the older man said, "Sure."
As he tucked Philip into the bed, he leaned over for a kiss. Philip tried to angle his face to make the kiss land on his lips, but Jack pointedly placed it on Phil's forehead. "Night," he mumbled quietly.
Philip blinked sluggishly as he muttered, "G'night." He rolled onto his side and closed his eyes. Jack waited a few moments then left the room, pulling the door closed behind him.
*
It was late by the time Jack pressed on the door of the Diner that he and Philip had gone to on the first night they met. It was also here that he'd run into Philip again after their first big argument that saw them 'separate' for a short while. How long ago was that? Jack couldn’t recall but one thing he did remember – quite clearly – was that was the first time Philip started coughing. Shrugging the rain off his coat he slipped into a corner booth, the same one they’d slipped into all those months ago. He ordered a strong coffee when the petite waitress came over to put a glass of water and a menu on his table. With a friendly smile the young woman moved back behind the counter and poured him his drink.
He rested his elbows onto the table and covered his face with his hands. He wanted to part his fingers and see Philip sitting opposite him – smiling happily – smiling healthily. It wasn’t going to happen. He kept his face covered as if by shielding his eyes from the outside world he could block it out, stop the time from turning, cease everything until he had time to come to grips with the fact that his lover – his Philip – was, irrefutably, dying.
He peered over the tops of his fingers when he heard the cup get placed in front of him. "Thanks," he muttered. The waitress smiled mechanically and went back behind the counter again, busying herself with wiping down the benches. Every now and then she’d cast a glance in the direction of her solitary customer, watching the misery he seemed to be going through as she wiped benches clean.
*
As Daniel and Todd approached the anthropologist's apartment they exchange silent, awkward smiles. Dinner had been a success - again. Todd had invited Daniel to one of the more secluded restaurants in town and it had been a night filled with easy conversation between them and flirtatious comments from the librarian. Daniel wasn’t sure if flattery was going to get Todd anything – tonight or any other night - but it sure did help his flagging ego.
"So how did you find that place?" the anthropologist asked as he reached one hand into his pocket to retrieve his keys.
"I just asked everyone I served today the name of a restaurant that they'd take someone special to. Coe's was the winner."
Daniel had arched his brow at the 'someone special' comment and he gave a slightly lop-sided smile. "Very ingenious!"
Todd grinned. "I try!"
Wetting his lips quickly Daniel said, "But no one warned you how expensive it was, huh?" He smiled and watched the heat rise in Todd's face.
"I will pay you back!" He assured him.
Scrunching his nose and flipping his hand Daniel dismissed that. "Next time you buy - How’s that?"
Todd's eyes lit up as he asked, with a hopeful smile, "Are you telling me you'd like to go out again?"
The blue eyes rolled to the ceiling. Daniel hadn't quite meant that to be an invitation, but he was glad it came out that way. He'd been wondering the whole walk back to their building how he was going to broach the subject of another 'date'. He didn't want to lead Todd on, but he still wasn't sure if he was 'romantically' interested in him - or just 'sexually' charged by his attention. While Daniel loved sex - craved it at the moment especially here in the company of such a virile man - he wasn't the kind of person who could have sex just for the sake of sex. He also needed the tender touches, the little things that only came when you cared emotionally for the man you were making love with.
He always needed an emotional attachment to his partner.. and while Todd was fun and entertaining and, if he was honest, very flattering and ego boosting with his compliments all the time, Daniel wasn't sure he 'felt' anything for him - yet. Maybe it would take some more time. Maybe it would never happen. The anthropologist was very well aware that he carried something for someone else anyway, it was just a matter of seeing if he was ever going to be allowed to fall in love again, or if he was destined for a life of loneliness... Lovers - for him - were either thrust upon him - like Sha're- no dating required...or they were born from long friendships - as was the case with Teal'c. Graham was.. well, he wasn't even going to go there - not now...
With a somewhat shy smile Daniel pushed his key into his lock now then turned to the man beside him. Todd's eyes quickly scanned the door then dropped to meet Daniel's gaze. He saw the hesitation there and knew that - again - he wasn't getting through that barricaade.
Wanting to be the one to say it first though he smiled as he said, "It's okay.."
Frowning, Daniel looked at him. "You don't even know what I was going to say."
The slightly taller man cocked his head back and looked deeply into the blue eyes. "You were about to not invite me into your apartment.."
"Oh?" Daniel arched his brows high as he lifted his chin. "You. ah.. You never invited me back to your place either.." He silently kicked himself for that comeback. What on earth was he trying to imply with that retort - other than he was as petulant as a five year old?
Todd grinned, chivalrously. "Daniel, I can tell a polite let down when I hear one."
The blue eyes blinked rapidly. "Oh."
Todd smiled at the blush creeping across the smooth cheeks. "I've really enjoyed tonight.." He said, lacing his fingers together and hanging his hands before him.
"Me, too," Daniel responded, nodding profusely. Todd bit back the smile that wanted to grow wider as he watched the shyer man mumble into his boots, "I .. I still can't let you in though." He was well aware of the artifacts and paperwork spread out across his dining table that he'd brought home a few nights ago to decipher. Jerking his head up he looked at the good-looking man leaning casually against his doorframe, a gentle smile in his dark eyes.
Daniel caught his breath at the unquestionable beauty of the other man. "I.. ah.. I think I'd like to though.." Then he opened the door slightly before adding, "maybe another night."
A slight grimace came over Todd's face as he said, "I'd invite you back to my place - tonight - only.." He saw the spark of interest in Daniel's gaze and added, quickly before the fish stopped nibbling at his bait, "I just don't have any furniture."
Clearly thinking this was his version of a polite, but playful, dismissal Daniel laughed as he said, "Yeah, right." He pushed his door open a little more.
"No!" Todd straightened up, and met Daniel's eyes. "I mean that. I don't have any furniture.."
"How can you not have any furniture?" he asked doubtfully.
Todd laughed throatily. "I'm serious! Come up and have a look for yourself!"
Daniel eyed him up and down, only lowering his eyes far enough down his chest to see the dark hairs peeking from the partly opened shirt. Meeting the amused gaze once more he said, "No furniture?" He wasn't sure if this was some ruse to get him up to the loft or not. Before he knew what he was doing he'd shut his door again then turned to face Todd as he said, "This I've got to see!"
"You're coming up?" Todd's eyes grew wide like an excited child's.
"Sure, why not."
Todd almost skipped beside Daniel as they made their way to the stairwell. "Of course you have to see this," he said chirpily. "You're an archaeologist, aren't you? You're used to looking at abandoned ruins and all that," he joked as he held the door open for Daniel to go through. As the blond man stepped by him he whispered, "Probably gets your blood pumping."
Daniel felt tingles cascade down the side of his body that had been whispered against. He turned quickly to look at the devilish smile on the handsome man trotting up the stairs beside him now. Their eyes met briefly then Todd ducked his head as he reached into his pocket for his keys.
As they approached his door, the only door on the whole floor, apart from the one that led to the Cleaner's closet, Todd said, "Actually, you could probably date some of the dust in here for me. I'm sure it's ancient!" He quickly had the door opened and Daniel stepped up to the darkened room. Before the light went on he half expected that once it did it would reveal a room full of furniture and he'd turn right around and head back down to his place - knowing that Todd was just trying to get him up there. But when the light did go on, and it revealed a completely empty room, Daniel stepped into the place - astonished.
"You.. ah.. you really meant it." He looked around as Todd went over to the doors and opened them out onto the balcony.
"You didn't believe me!" Todd poked his pointed into the bewildered man's chest lightly. Daniel laughed as he stood in the completely empty room.
"I thought you would have something! I mean, something, but.. " He shrugged and that made Todd laugh heartily.
"Ah Daniel. You're used to being lied to I see. Well, I might play tricks in the bed, but never in the head," Todd said, going to the window and standing in the breeze. He missed the blush on Daniel's face at his last comment. Unbuttoning his shirt then tugging it from his pants and leaving it to billow in the strong breeze from the cool night, he said, "I do have the essentials now though. A fridge, a microwave and up there," he pointed up the six steps to the mezzanine floor, "A mattress - but I won't show you that!"
"Thank you," Daniel muttered with a smirk as he pushed his hands into his pockets.
Todd twirled on the spot, his black shirt hanging just so , revealing his tanned, well-formed physique. With a wink he headed to the kitchen as he said, "Not tonight, anyway!"
Daniel laughed now, totally complimented by the tenacious way he was always coming on to him.
"Would you like a drink?" The host called from the tiny kitchen.
Daniel could see him easily and merely nodded, then quickly added, "Do you have cola?"
Straightening up, Todd held two long necked soda bottles in his hands as he crossed the room towards Daniel. His approach put the anthropologist in mind of a black cougar, stalking his prey - but it wasn't an image that disturbed him at all, in fact, he felt rather euphoric by the open display. As Todd reached out one of the bottles to him he gave a lop-sided smile that showed up a dimple on his right cheek.
"Doesn't everybody?" He said as he passed over the drink. Daniel looked at him blankly then nodded when he realized he was answering his question about cola.
"So come on and make yourself at home.." Todd said, waving a hand in the air and swirling on the spot. Daniel choked on his mouthful of soda as he laughed.
"Sure, which is your favorite seat - just so I don't sit in it?" the anthropologist joked.
"I'm partial to the arm chair,' Todd confessed then went to the corner of the room and held his hands down, like he was leaning on the back of one. "And if I owned such a beast, it would be right here!"
Daniel nodded then looked around. "And the sofa? So I know where to stand?"
Todd laughed and then jerked his head towards the balcony. "I do have an actual seat out there though."
Daniel raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"
"It came with the place. It's what I used to sleep on before I bought the mattress the other day.." He said as he stepped up and out of the doors. Daniel followed him outside, looking around at the almost panoramic view from there.
"Wow!"
"Yeah." Todd sighed as he straddled the end of the sun lounge and placed his bottle between his parted thighs. He tilted his face up at the night sky above them and smiled. "Best view in town, I'm convinced of it."
Daniel looked down and saw him - his long legs straddling the seat, his shirt open and revealing his gorgeous body, his head back and his long throat arched.
"Yeah," he sighed as he turned away again. From behind him Todd said, "Really should get some furniture though."
Dipping his face as he laughed Daniel agreed. "It must cramp your socializing," he said. He half turned to shoot a quick look at the man on the seat before looking back out across the dark city again.
Todd shifted back on the seat until he was against the backrest. He picked up his drink and took a mouthful before saying, "You're here, aren't you?"
Daniel turned again, and did a double take as he saw him lying back on the seat; his feet still planted firmly on the ground either side of the white sun lounge, the drink held in his hand lying across his groin. Todd wasn't looking at him though. He was staring up at the sky again as he said, "And Phil was a regular visitor.."
Wetting his lips, Daniel said, "Yeah, about that.."
Todd frowned and looked at him. "About what?" he asked, raising the bottle to his lips and sipping the drink slowly. Daniel looked at the cracks in the concrete at his feet.
"Just, well, he used to stay over night.. didn't he?"
Todd was silent a moment. "Are you asking because you're interested in where he slept?"
Looking up Daniel quirked his head and moved his lips- but said nothing. Todd looked off into the distance, a little peeved by the question. "He slept on here." He patted the arm of the sun lounge. Daniel's brow arched.
"Oh, and .. you .. ugh ,, slept in there?" he asked as he pointed into the loft.
"No, Daniel," Todd said testily, wondering if Daniel had ulterior motive for coming up there. "I slept here and he slept-" he patted the vacant space on the seat right in front of his groin, "here." Patting his chest he said, "And his head was here. He's light, he didn't weigh much against me..."
Not liking the tone, Daniel coughed then turned and put the drink down. He started back into the apartment and Todd stood at the same time, barring his way.
"I'm sorry," he said, breathing against Daniel's ear. The blond man jerked his head away as he turned to look at Todd. "Believe me, it was never sexual.."
Daniel blinked then nodded as he stepped back. "I . I didn't think.."
Todd laughed as he wagged his finger in his face. "Daniel Jackson! I've known you all of two days and I can tell that you are one lousy liar!" He chuckled as he turned and picked up his bottle, holding it to his lips as he swallowed a mouthful of the sweet drink. "I know I've shocked your socks off!"
"No," Daniel began, sounding serious. "My socks are still on."
"Pity!" Todd grinned as he looked down at his feet then up again. "I have a fetish for feet!"
"Jesus!" Daniel laughed as he scratched at the back of his neck. "You say the weirdest things!"
Todd's grin broadened. "What can I say to that?"
Daniel smiled as he shook his head and turned to look out at the view again.
"Do you want to stay the night?" Todd asked. The older man turned to him, flustered by the question.
"Pa.. Pardon?"
Todd smiled as he stepped over to him, close enough to invade Daniel's personal space but not too close that he forced the other man to step back. "You can sleep in there, I'll sleep out here.." he said in a low voice as he trailed his eyes across Daniel's pale features in the moonlight. "I'd just love to see what you look like, first thing in the morning-" Daniel swallowed hard as the warm breath, sickly sweet with the smell of cola, wafted across his lips as Todd inched closer to whisper, "Still warm and crinkled from sleep."
"I .. ah.." He stepped backwards now as he held his hand up between them. "I'm really not a morning person..."
Todd smiled then took a deliberate step back from him. "Okay. You were worth another shot."
"I was worth another shot?" Daniel questioned, tilting his head. Todd shrugged.
"Three come-ons and you haven't budged. I've got to be honest with you, Doctor Jackson, I'm not used to it, but it only increases my interest in you... ten-fold."
"Oh?" Daniel adjusted his glasses as he blinked rapidly. "It.. it does?"
Todd nodded as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Make it twenty-fold. This outfit you're wearing tonight increases my interest in you tenfold. You look gorgeous."
Daniel pressed his hands to his chest as he looked down at the outfit he was wearing. It happened to be something he'd picked out in the days after his break up with Graham when Philip insisted they go out for a coffee then bulldozed him into buying the outfit from the shop window next door to the coffee place.
"Thanks," he said, eyelashes fluttering with embarrassment.
Pointing with the hand around his soda bottle, Todd said, "And when you do that, that with your eyes! Arg!!" He laughed then took another long drink before resting the bottle on the lip of the balcony wall.
Daniel gave a laconic raise of his brows then he looked down at the passing traffic. He wasn't aware Todd had stepped up beside him until he could smell the scent of Jazz once more. Turning he stared directly into the dark, smiling eyes.
Todd combed his fingers through Daniel's long hair and the anthropologist sighed and arched his throat with the touch. "I'm sorry," Todd whispered as he passed his fingers through the dark blond mane again, and again arched Daniel's throat with the caress. Todd gripped the back of his head now, holding him firmly. "I know you're trying to resist.. this..." he said, his gaze shifting between Daniel's eyes. He stepped closer, pinning Daniel back to the chest-high wall behind him. Their groins brushed together as Todd held the weight of Daniel's head in his hand. "I just can't wait," - his breath puffed over the exposed throat - "to taste you." He pressed his lips to the side of the Adam's apple lightly. He felt the nodule bob as Daniel's made a nervous swallow.
Daniel's heart raced as Todd's lips moved over his sensitive throat. The dark fringe tickled at his lips as Todd kissed him repeatedly, working his way across the Adam's apple, up to under Daniel's left ear then down to the hollow of his throat, just where his shirt was buttoned up to.
The anthropologist's hands, which had been hovering just over Todd's arms, now came in and gripped his muscular biceps. His lashes fluttered as he felt the strong arms flex under his touch as Todd gently held him by the hips while he continued to kiss and lick his throat. A soft bite on Daniel's 'spot' right above his left collarbone saw the archeologist grip Todd's arms firmly and push him away gently.
The librarian straightened up and Daniel flushed as he looked into the dewy eyes. "I'm.. I'm sorry," he said, pressing his glasses back into place. Todd stared at him a moment then stepped back, dipping his head and turning away.
"No, I'm sorry."
"I'm not good at this dating thing," Daniel confessed. Todd raised his brows as he kept his embarrassment at bay.
"Neither am I. It was all so easy with my wife..."
Daniel bowed his head and smiled sadly. He totally understood that.
"We were friends first, you see," Todd explained, picking up his bottle. Daniel swallowed and looked up.
"Believe me," he said. "I understand exactly. I was the same.. I am the same.."
"There's two excuses I can give,' the librarian held up two fingers and counted them off as he said, "One, you're just so goddamn gorgeous I find it hard not to reach out and touch you, and, two, I feel like I know you already. As I only ever fall in love with friends, it's caused me a little dilemma - my dick wishes you were a friend, I guess."
A smile crept across Daniel's face then he turned to look out across the twinkling lights of Colorado Springs. Todd mentally berated himself for being so crass. Putting his drink down again he went over and stood beside Daniel. "It's not just my dick that wants to be friends with you, Daniel."
The anthropologist nodded and said, "That's good to hear." His eyes closed slowly as Todd touched his lightly curled fingers to his temple. Opening once more, Daniel fixed him with a deep stare. "I think I should go.."
Todd lowered his hand and stepped back. Daniel turned and went into the loft then over to the front door. He opened the door and looked back at Todd, who was framed in the patio doorway.
"Can I call you again?" Todd asked.
A small smile curled the corner of Daniel's mouth. "You owe me dinner, remember?"
Todd laughed quietly then nodded. "Sure. Night Daniel."
"Good night Todd," he said, then closed the door behind him as he left.
********
End of part 31
Stories on this page are the property of Nessessitee and Slida. Please do not copy these without the written permission of the Author. All Rights are acknowledged for MGM, Gekko and Stargate Productions as to the Copyrights of the characters within this story and no infringement on the copyrights are intended. For the Bombshells Series the character of Philip Simmons is entirely the creation and intellectual property of Nessessitee and Slida.
While the performances given by RDA and MS help to fuel the author's desire to write for their characters in a niche that she feels is present on the actual show, the portrayal of their characters in loving relationships in no way reflects the Author's opinion of the men's private life, nor should it be construed in that manner.