Part 50
It was many hours later when Jack collected up the left over pizza, now cold and congealed to the bottom of the box, then he headed out to the kitchen to throw it away and start on preparing some coffee for himself and a pot of herbal tea for his partner. Philip - dressed in his bronze-colored pajamas, his silk robe and two pairs of thick socks - stayed on the bed, resting back against the stack of pillows as he suffered through his nightly Neb of medication. With some disinterest he began to channel surf until he stumbled across a program that looked like it was a real life documentary. Increasing the volume, he tried to listen to the reports over the annoying hum of his nebulizer unit.
*
As Jack carefully carried the two cups into the bedroom he caught the program on the television out of the corner of his eyes. Philip had muted the sound when he heard Jack come into the room, which left the images, but no sound on the television program. All Jack could see was that there was a woman on there, tears down her cheeks and her face so sad Jack wondered what could be the matter. As he neared the bed he placed both cups down and checked the level of medication still within the vial on the unit. He was satisfied that Philip had had enough and together they carefully removed it from him, then Jack passed him the hot cup before squatting to pack the unit away. Carrying the vial into the bathroom, he glanced at the screen again and caught sight of the homemade video of a funeral. Curiosity got the better of him and he halted in his tracks, standing just to the side of the muted television then he turned to look at Philip.
"What's this about?"
Philip turned up the volume again as he said, "Suicide."
"Oh," the older man continued into the bathroom to rinse out the vial. As he came back into the bedroom he again was captivated by the images on the screen. He reassembled the unit then swept his own silk gown aside as he climbed onto the bed beside Philip and cuddled into him, resting him back against his chest as he wrapped his arm across Phil's body.
"This looks cheery!" He commented as he watched a family of people standing beside a grave, weeping openly. Philip smiled despite himself then he glanced at Jack, who kissed the tip of his nose quickly, then they both watched the screen once more.
Jack frowned as he watched a reenactment of a drug-user shooting up. "What's this about again?" he asked, resting his cheek against the top of Phil's head as he idly stroked his fingers up the side of the thin body.
"Suicide."
"Ah," the older man said then shifted slightly to look at the profile of his lover before reaching to kiss his cheek lightly. Philip smiled at the tender display of affection but his eyes remained on the screen. They watched the program together and soon it focused on an AIDS-affected couple, the surviving partner discussing how his lover of ten years killed himself when it all got too much for him.
The partner, known only as Jason, told how his lover was once a Fitness Instructor and contracted the disease when someone he was training started bleeding after an accident with one of the pieces of equipment in the Gym. He went on to explain that it was only once Tom, the lover, was covered in their blood they then warned him that they were HIV+ - but by then it was too late. The eyes on the distraught man - who'd lived for five years on his own without his lover and, while positive himself, was still very well - spoke volumes to the two men on the bed. Jack instinctually tightened his hold across his lover's body as he turned to press his lips against the dark hair, while the younger man laid his arm between Jack's thighs and cupped his hand around his knee. Jason described how Tom had PCP twice and bacterial pneumonia once. At the mention of that, Jack again subconsciously hugged his lover a little closer to his chest.
Then Jason went on to explain how Tom suffered with pancreatitis, KS, thrush, leukoplakia, esophogeal ulcers and lots of other things including severe weight loss. In his battle with the diseases Tom had undergone chemo for 16 months but it started to have no affect. He also used all of the protease inhibitor cocktails and been very healthy on and off but after time he built up a resistance and was diagnosed as MDR.
"What's MDR?" Jack asked when Jason didn't pause long enough to clarification.
"Multiple drug resistant," Philip told him, as he remained riveted to the screen. Jack didn't like the sound of Phil's heavy breathing, especially as he'd just finished his nightly dose.
At the time of his death Tom's routine included Efavirenz, DDI and Hydroxyurea to thwart replication, oral Bactrim for PCP prophylaxis, Diflucan for oral candidiasis, thrush and leukoplakia.
"Shit.." Philip said on a soft, breathy sigh as he gripped Jack's knee tighter and started to lean forward. Jack watched him carefully, seeing the tears wetting the dark eyes as Phil sympathized with the story on the screen.
Easing him back gently, Jack resumed his caresses and position as he pressed his lips to Phil's temple once more. Jason cried when he told the viewers that Tom ended his life with an overdose of his medications five years ago but not a day goes by when he doesn't still miss him.
Jack heard the soft, swallowed sob of his emphatic lover so he kissed his temple again then whispered, "Don't even think about it!"
With a shiver that rippled through his body, Phil said, shakily, "I couldn't. I'm too selfish!"
Jack moved his hand to stroke down the side of Phil's throat and the younger man turned to look at him better. "I want to spend as long as I can with you," Phil confessed with a trembling smile. Jack gave a flit of a smile then he tenderly kissed Phil's dry lips.
"Good," he muttered as he pulled back to look into the watery brown eyes.
Phil pawed Jack's face as he searched every inch of its surface. "I don't want to die alone, Jack," he told him.
"You won't," Jack assured him. "I'll be here.." He could see the fear in Philip's eyes so scooped him into his arms and held him in a crushing hug.
"You'll hold me afterwards?" Philip whispered tearfully. Jack shuddered as he felt the tears sting his own eyes.
"Yes," he could barely say that then he buried his face against Phil's throat. "And for a long time afterwards, I'm sure," he whispered shakily.
Tears fell down Philip's cheeks as he looked over Jack's shoulder at the room around them. "Sometimes I wish it would just happen, soon, so that you could get on with your life again..."
"No," Jack said, his voice muffled by the warm skin. Philip wrapped his arms around the broad shoulders and squeezed him as hard as he could.
"Other times, I pray for more time. For a miracle to come and give me a day, a week, longer with you - in full health so that I could make love to you - just once!"
Jack kept his face buried against the coarse hair on Phil's throat as he shook his head.
"I'm so worried that I'll become a burden, hun," Philip told him honestly. "I love you too much to do that to you, and to Grae, and to Daniel and all the other people who'll have to help you once I start to get really bad..."
Jack pulled back and Philip stared into the watery, red-rimmed eyes. "You're my world, Jack," the younger man whispered as he touched his fingers to Jack's cheek.
After a quick sniff to clear his throat and nose, Jack said, "I know, baby.. I know... But you're not ever going to be a burden! You'll be a lot of work, but never a burden!"
Philip smiled weakly and said, "I love that you're still so honest with me."
Jack felt that sting him harder than he expected it to. Philip touched his fingers to the dry lips then he leaned over and oh-so-lightly touched his mouth to Jack's. They kissed - feather light touches and sweet caresses - for a long while then Philip sat back and smiled sleepily at his partner.
Jack knew that the fluctuating emotions that Phil had been suffering with all day were finally taking their toll. "Want to get under the covers?" he asked then helped him to when Phil responded with a slight nod.
As Jack climbed in Phil lifted his hand and asked, "Could you...?"
Jack looked at him and frowned, asking the question.
"Could you not wear a top tonight? I want to lie against your chest." With a shrug, Jack flung the unneeded pajama top over onto the valet then he climbed into bed.
He positioned himself on his back then tucked one arm under his head as Philip cradled against his side.
The younger man laid his cheek on Jack's pec and his fingers toying with the curls and chain on the slowly rising and falling chest.
Jack reached out to switch off the light and Philip said, "Wait. I .." He stretched up and kissed Jack's lips lightly. With a smile he pulled back. "Thanks," he said, indicating to the light with a jerk of his head. Jack switched it off then cuddled his lover against him closer until they both drifted off to sleep.
*
The sun shone through the window and Philip could feel its warmth in a ray across his face. Although snow mounted against the bottom seal of the window, the sun was inviting. It gently eased the artist out of his sleep until he'd slotted his eyes open and realized it was morning. Immediately he felt warm, with Jack pressed up behind him, his body bent to the contours of Philip's perfectly. Enjoying the engulfing embrace - Jack's arm reached right around the tiny-framed man and tucked in under his side, between the body and the mattress - Philip shifted his back against the bare chest behind him. He could tell by the soft snore in his left ear that Jack was still fast asleep. He tried to straighten his legs, but Jack's thighs were firmly braced against his own - not that he minded really. As he shifted his butt a fraction he could feel the early-morning erection nestled against his cleft.
He laid there for a moment, analyzing the feel of the pressure against his butt then with small, tentative moves, he came to realize that he was enjoying the feel, and seeking more.
Reaching down with his hand, Philip parted his thighs slightly and felt for the tip, which was involuntarily pressed into the opening now that his legs had parted. Jack snuffled softly, his breath puffing across the back of Phil's neck but still he didn't seem to awaken. Philip closed his eyes as his fingers stretched to touch the covered erection, caressing the rounded tip with his straining fingers.
This time Jack stirred more, rolling onto his back as he tucked one hand under his pillow. Philip flipped over onto his stomach and looked, first, at the partly slotted eyes watching him, and then he trailed his gaze down the naked torso to the cloth-covered mound. He continued to roll onto his side, bending one leg until his foot could rest comfortably behind his other knee. Pushing up onto an out-stretched arm, Philip hovered his hand over the blue-colored cloth.
"Can I?" He quickly looked back at his lover's face.
"Knock yourself out," Jack mumbled through a sleepy smile.
Philip knelt beside the body, level with the hips, and looked nervously into the soft brown eyes watching him intently. Jack reached a hand up and touched the side of the artist's face in a gentle show of support for him before he lifted his hips off the bed and slipped the pants partway down for Philip. The younger man pushed them all the way off before returning his attention to the fully erect shaft jutting up from a bed of dark brown curls.
Bending his hand into an open fist, Philip lightly ran his knuckles up the underside of the thick shaft. It twitched at the touch and Philip smiled, like he'd never expected it to do that. Jack's hand slipped down to the side of Phil's neck now, resting against the curve of his shoulder as the younger man leaned down to inhale the aroma of his lover deeply. The hand shifted to cup the shaft now in the open fist and then brushed his cheek against the tip as he whispered, "Oh, god, I've missed you."
Jack smiled to himself. "You talking to me or it?"
Sitting up straight again, Philip smiled. Gingerly he encircled the shaft in his long fingers and began to pump Jack slowly. The older man groaned as he sank into the mattress. Philip hitched his own pajama top up and leaned over and pressed the warm flesh against his stomach. He too moaned softly at the feel of the shaft against him as he reached to cover Jack's chest with tender pecks. All the while his hand pumped the thick muscle and then he sat back on his heels, changing hands and flicking out his already fatigued fingers.
Jack's eyes fluttered open slightly at the change of hands, but the rhythm was upheld pretty well, and his eyes closed once again.
Soon he moaned softly, silently willing the speed to increase and the pressure to tighten, and it was almost as though Philip read his mind because he changed hands once again, and this time his grip was stronger and the beat faster. Jack squirmed, indicating his enjoyment, and Philip chuckled throatily before leaning down to kiss up the hairy path from Jack's groin to his chest.
Phil's lips covered every inch of Jack's chest. His tongue toyed with the chain of the dog tags and his teeth chewed against the silences lightly, leaving little marks in the black rubber. All the time he continued to pump, but all too soon his kisses became fainter and his grip weaker – until both stopped at once and Phil lay, motionless, on Jack's chest.
It took a second for Jack to realize that Philip wasn’t just pausing and he quickly adjusted his head so that he could look down at the face pressed against his chest. His heart was beating hard against his ribs as he stared into the dull eyes looking up at him.
“Phil?” He touched his hand to the raven head. Philip turned his face and pressed it against the furry chest as he gave a soft, distraught sob.
"Philip?" He pushed the hair aside, trying to reach for the hidden face.
Philip brought his hand up to fight off Jack's hand and to shield his own embarrassment as he cried softly, "No, don't.."
"Hey, baby!' Jack said, gathering the face in his hands and gently lifting it now so that he could look into the teary brown eyes. "It's okay.."
"No, it's not okay.." Philip said bitingly. "It's not fucking okay!" He turned to get off the bed but buckled over, winching with pain at the sudden movements. Jack half sat up and reached for his shoulder now, gripping him and guiding him back onto the bed with him again. The dark eyes looked up and Philip told him, in a voice thick from wheezing, "I wanted to please you.."
Jack's gaze shifted from one eye to the other as he said, "It's okay.."
Screwing his face up, Philip started to roll away again but Jack caught him and hugged him close. "Help me then," he whispered into the long black hair.
Philip shifted back and frowned as he looked at him. Jack laid back and held his hand up and Philip placed his hand in it. The older man shifted their hands to his partially erect shaft and closed them around it together. Philip caught his breath in a soft sigh as he felt his hand glide up and down the growing muscle, under the strength of Jack's fist.
“Is this okay?” Jack asked him.
Philip nodded then asked, “Is it okay for you?” He felt the response by a twitch in the palm of his hand and that made him smile through what tears he had left.
As their pace increased and Jack's obvious enjoyment increased, Philip watched closely, alternating between his lover's contented face and the joined hands - working together to bring him pleasure. He felt a stirring deep within his stomach and more tears stung his eyes as he realized how lucky he was to have Jack. Perhaps another lover would have been angry that he couldn't pleasure him anymore, or perhaps another lover would have just told him it was okay and left it there, but Jack 'showed' him that it was okay - and listened to him when he told him he wanted to please him. Although he had no doubt that Jack was enjoying this at the moment, Philip was aware that they were partially doing this to please him.
The young man scrunched his fingers through the tuft of wiry hair surrounding the base of the cock and Jack moaned, shifted his hips at the touch and slotted his eyes opened slightly. Philip smiled down at him and then leaned over and kissed his lips gently. Jack's mouth parted beneath the touch then he laid his hand lightly on the back of Phil's head, encouraging him to stay there a while. Eventually, Jack twitched within Phil's fist, and the artist increased the forcefulness of his kisses. Again Jack spasmed in the small hand and Philip moaned deeply, the vibration rattled his chest and was felt easily by the fully aroused man. The long, tanned fingers gripped the raven hair now and as Jack hurled himself at the edge of his abyss they continued kiss, passionately but without tongues.
Suddenly the hand holding Phil's head still clawed at the scalp and Jack's lips stilled as he convulsed, his body shuddering with his orgasm. Philip could feel the liquid course through the veins, up the stem in his hand and then felt the warm liquid as it rained down upon their hands and Jack's stomach. He began to kiss him again, hungrily and with soft whimpers as he slowly milked his twitching lover until Jack was a boneless mess against the pillows. Shivering now, the older man gave a very contended groan as he tucked his arm under his head. Philip smiled, somewhat happier to have actually been part of that whole experience. He sat back on his heels and, as he sucked on his come-covered fingers, he asked his satiated lover, "Want to see a miracle?"
Jack frowned then said, "Sure." Philip picked up the hand that was resting against the wet stomach and placed it against his own groin. Jack's brow arched as he felt the slight swelling within. His eyes lifted to meet Phil's happy grin.
"This is a miracle," Jack murmured, sitting up slightly.
With a soft chuckle in the back of his throat, Phil said, "Biggest miracle I've had in a very long time!"
Jack was sitting up completely beside him now as he said, "Maybe I could try my luck and aim for a bigger miracle?" He was more questioning Philip to see if he felt up to attempting it.
The younger man slid down onto his side and said, almost dismissively, "Oh, I doubt it. Let's just enjoy it for what it was, shall we?"
Jack curled up facing him then he placed his hand over the slight swelling as he said, "I could .... Try.."
Philip smiled but shook his head. "You could, but I seriously doubt you'll improve the situation..." He rolled onto his back and smiled up at Jack as he tucked both hands under his head. Jack wondered if that was an invitation or not. He carefully rubbed his palm over the mound and Philip smiled but didn’t show any other response. He decided to try some other forms of arousal so carefully began to peel Phil’s top up but the younger man pushed it back down into place as he said, "No, please, don't."
“None of it?” Jack asked, immediately lifting his hand from the crotch.
“Just my top..”
Jack did as he was requested and left the top where it was, instead opting to kiss him over the layer of it, moving down his body to the pajama tie at Phil’s waist. "Can I remove these?"
Philip agreed reluctantly and closed his eyes tightly so that he didn't have to see Jack's face when he looked at the emancipated and bony body in full daylight. Jack saw his discomfort so lowered the pants to the tops of Phil's thighs only before lightly rubbing his palm against the bulge still encased in Phil’s underwear. Philip looked down at him again then smiled as he cupped the stubble-covered cheek. "Thank you."
Jack gave a shrug, like it was no big deal, then he lowered his face and rubbed his nose, mouth and eyes against the cloth-covered erection. Philip enjoyed the touches but, after a few moments of trying, he pushed Jack away and said, disappointedly, "It's not happening..."
Jack, not wanting to stress him further, replaced the pajama pants then slid up the bed to lie beside him. He engulfed the smaller man with his legs and arms then pressed his nose into Phil's ear. "So, we can just lie here and cuddle," he whispered softly.
Philip smiled as he combed his fingers through Jack's fringe. "How did I get so lucky?" He asked sincerely.
"You were due for a lucky break," Jack said, reaching for the bedding and covering them in it again. "And so was I."
He looked down into the dark eyes and Philip blinked quickly. "Some break you got. An impotent lover and HIV.."
"I don't have HIV, remember!"
Philip seemed to think about that a moment then he nodded. "Well, okay - but we thought you did."
"So? You told me why we’re together - it was fate, remember?"
Philip inhaled through his nose as he turned slightly to be spooned by Jack instead. "Some fate, leading you to me.. to watch me die..."
Jack quirked his head this time but let it go again, dismissing it as Phil's way of coping with the let down of the last few moments. He cuddled him closer and molded his body to his. "For the record, I wouldn't be anywhere else..."
There was no comment from the other man however and soon Jack fell back to sleep.
<end of part 50>
Stories on this page are the property of Nessessitee and Slida. Please do not copy these without the written permission of the Author. All Rights are acknowledged for MGM, Gekko and Stargate Productions as to the Copyrights of the characters within this story and no infringement on the copyrights are intended. For the Bombshells Series the character of Philip Simmons is entirely the creation and intellectual property of Nessessitee and Slida.
While the performances given by RDA and MS help to fuel the author's desire to write for their characters in a niche that she feels is present on the actual show, the portrayal of their characters in loving relationships in no way reflects the Author's opinion of the men's private life, nor should it be construed in that manner.