Part 59
Daniel rushed into the hospital, not sure what he would find. Without need for many directions he found the ward quickly and entered the room. Graham was sitting on one side of the bed, Jack on the other. All heads, even Phil's, albeit more slowly, turned towards the sound as the door rushed open.
"Hi," the unsure visitor said as he stepped closer.
"Daniel," Jack said, with almost a sigh of relief. The anthropologist moved over to the bed where Jack stepped back, letting him get in close to his friend.
"Work?" Philip asked breathlessly, barely louder than the sound of the oxygen whoosing through the cannula under his nose.
"That can wait," Daniel said gently.
"I'm ... okay," Phil whispered. Daniel nodded then bit his lips together as he looked across the bed to where Graham sat, watching them both.
The anthropologist ducked his head and looked back down at the man in the bed as he said, "I know. I know. I just had to see."
"'Kay." Phil sighed and closed his eyes.
Daniel turned towards Jack and saw the distress etched in his ragged features. "You okay?" He asked in a low voice. Jack rolled his eyes slightly then shrugged.
Then Daniel pointed to the corridor. "Um, can I .. speak to you .. for a minute?"
The older man frowned then nodded before turning and leaving the room with his friend.
Out in the corridor Daniel hugged himself and spoke in a low voice. "The General called me into his office and told me.
Jack nodded. "I thought word would get around."
"He also told me you'd had.. words about the kiss..."
"Don't worry. He's none the wiser about you and Teal'c. I told him I didn't know anything and that you'd never given me cause for doubt."
With a big nod, Daniel said, "Well, thank you. That's not really the truth, but I appreciate you keeping the confidence."
Rubbing his left eye tiredly, Jack said, "What he doesn't know.."
"And what he does know - now," Daniel said, his thick eyebrows bunching up his forehead as he looked at his friend over the top rim of his glasses. "You told him about Philip.."
"I had to." Jack groaned tiredly as he lowered himself into a chair out in the corridor. He sat forward and held his head in his hands. "I can't work now. I don't know how long he has but I can't work..."
Daniel sat on the chair beside him, having to lean around him to continue to talk in a low voice. "He's worried about you."
Jack looked up from his hands. "Hammond?"
Daniel nodded then in a cautious tone, he queried, "He said he's going to lose you."
Jack's mouth opened slightly as he stared into the questioning blue eyes. Muttering something briefly under his breath, he shrugged as he said, "You're smart Daniel. Think about it. I can't go out there again."
The empathetic friend was nodding like he understood then he said, "But do you really think this is what Philip would want?"
"What *he'd* want?" Jack sat up then studied the face beside him closely. Barely able to keep his voice to a polite hiss, Jack pointed to the room as he said, "What Philip wants is a miracle to make him better. I got it. He didn't. I can't go on playing the damn game any longer.."
"So you'll what? Live in that house and fester alone?"
"No. I'll sell the house and go and live in the cabin." After a pause he added, angrily, "What the hell does it matter what I do, Daniel?"
The younger man stopped chewing on his bottom lip long enough to say, "It matters to Teal'c and Sam and Janet and the General-" He bit the inside of his cheek before he added, "And it matters to me, too! A great deal! "
Their eyes met in a heated stare then Jack shook his head and looked away as he leaned down onto his thighs again.
Daniel closed his eyes and slid in the seat so that his head leaned back against the wall. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers as he said, "Now's probably not the best time to talk about this, I guess."
"Not really. But things are only going to get worse, not better. And don't be trying to talk to me about this when he's.." Jack stopped talking and Daniel tilted his head to look at him.
"Okay." He sat up again and leaned close to Jack. "Just know this. Hammond *doesn't* want to lose you. He wishes he could do more for you..."
Jack shook his head and snorted, "God, Danny, that's just what people say at times like this!"
"No, Jack. I think he means it. You said something to him earlier about all the times you saved the world? He said that got him thinking. I really believe that if there was anything he could do to help you - he would..."
"Open the damn gate and let me take him to the Nox's world would be a start.." Jack said tiredly. The look in the blue orbs told him that that was not an option still, despite all Daniel's good intentions and Hammond's wishful thinking. Shaking his head bitterly, Jack muttered, "Then he's going to have to learn to cope without me..." The older man wearily stood, his air expelling from his lungs in a tired moan.
As Jack moved away Daniel said, hastily, "*I* don't want to lose you." He waited until Jack turned to look at him before he said, "Off duty or on. I'm not sure how *I'll* cope with another C.O.-"
"You'll cope," Jack dismissed that quickly.
The earnest face tilted slightly as Daniel confessed, "There are few people in this world that I trust, Jack. And there are few people I work well with." He gave his friend a meaningful look. "But it's not just that. Your friendship means more to me than anything I do through that gate, and-" He looked down at his hands then looked up again. Jack met his eyes. With a defeated shrug, Daniel added quickly, "I just wanted to tell you that."
The colonel nodded then turned his head towards the room before looking back at his friend.
Daniel gave a dismissive smile then said, "I've said what I wanted to say. You probably want to go back."
With a solemn nod Jack got to his feet and crossed to the door, where he stopped for a moment and gave Daniel a glance before he went inside.
The despondent man leaned back in the chair again, covering his face with his hands as he gave a soft groan. He heard the door open once more and looked up to see Graham cross to him and sit beside him, but say nothing. Daniel shifted to lean onto his thighs. With his face tilted towards his quiet companion, he asked, "How is he?"
"Not good," came the raspy response and Daniel knew the strength it took for Graham to even say that much at a time like this. Since he'd heard of the news, in the general's office over an hour ago now, his thoughts had been equally divided between Jack and Graham.
It was going to be hard on everyone - to lose Philip in their lives, but he couldn't belittle the impact the death of the young man would have on his ex-lover. It seemed that at times like this people always seemed to recall the good in a person and forgive them their trespasses, however, where Philip was concerned, it was hard to not recall good moments, Daniel realized. And as much as his friends loved him, and Jack loved him, there was a bond between the two brothers that might almost shatter Graham when it severed.
He'd never known two brothers to be closer. Over the course of the five-month relationship he shared with Graham, Daniel had come to see just what having a brother could - and should - mean. Growing up without siblings, he wasn't prepared for the way the two of them interacted on a daily basis. They finished off each other's thoughts, they knew what the other seemed to need and they supported each other as much as they could. No topic of discussion seemed sacrilege between them either, therefore Daniel was often dragged into some very interesting conversations about homosexuality, the military and - on some occasions - favorite positions. It was a very comfortable triangle of friendship, as far as Daniel was concerned, and it came at a level that he'd never experienced before in his life.
But when the brothers fought - as they most certainly did - it befitted their Mediterranean ancestry. Hot, passionate and loud - Daniel recalled lying in bed one Saturday morning imagining the roof to be torn asunder by the yelling. But their arguing had a good side to it - as well for Daniel - for after an argument Graham would storm into the room, fired up and passionate, and practically devour him in his need to vent his frustration. It was the only times that Graham would top, too. Daniel saw that as his 'macho Greek Male' coming out in him - and he didn't mind, not one little bit!
Shaking all thoughts like that from his mind, Daniel sighed and sat forward. Graham watched him from the corner of his eyes.
"You know," the anthropologist said, hanging his head slightly as he toyed with his own hands. "You probably think you have to go through this alone-" He twisted his head to look at Graham now. "But you don't."
"I'm not fooling myself here, Daniel," Graham said flatly. "I know that the only person that gives a damn about me is lying in that bed, dying, right now."
"No, he's not." Daniel said.
Graham met his eyes. "He's not - what? Dying?" He asked cynically. "Of course he is. You're fooling yourself if you thought otherwise."
Daniel wiped his hand over his mouth as he sat up and leaned closer to the distraught brother. "I mean he's not the only one that cares about you."
Graham's eyes searched Daniel's face then he gave a derisive smile as he shook his head. "I don't need your pity.." He got up abruptly. "I'm going for a coffee."
Biting back his own frustration, Daniel remained on the cold, hard plastic seat as he wrung his hands together and watched his ex-lover walk down the corridor, soon turning out of view.
Closing his eyes he recalled the first Saturday he'd spent at the Simmons' apartment. It was the morning after he and Graham had spent their first night together. They met in the kitchen and Philip just accepted him right away. He started in with the sibling teasing of Graham right away too, and Daniel recalled how very relaxed he felt that morning. How relaxed they all were that morning. He didn't see much of Philip that weekend, spending most of it in Graham's bedroom, but whenever either of them did make an appearance the cheeky sibling would always comment. A smile ghosted across Daniel's face as he recalled the 'warmth' of being with the two of them.
Eventually Daniel got to his feet and went into Phil's room - just in time to hear him say, "go."
"No," Jack said obstinately. Daniel came to the other side of the bed and Philip turned his face to look at him.
"Make ...Jack... go."
Raising his brow in curiosity, Daniel asked, "Make Jack go? I don't think I can." He tilted his face and asked, "Go where?"
"Bathroom. Coffee." The patient wheezed. Jack rolled his eyes.
"He's trying to get rid of me. Give this guy a cocktail and he's ready to party without ya," Jack said, smiling lovingly down at the ailing man. His thumb was lightly brushing the back of Phil's hand as they spoke.
"Cocktail?" Daniel asked, curiously.
"My drugs.." Philip said faintly but with a smile.
"Hey, if I was given alcohol and coke, I'd be ready to party too!" Jack said.
"They gave you a brandy or something?"
Jack gave his clueless friend a patient smile. "No, coke. As in Cocaine."
"They gave you drugs?" Daniel was mortified.
"It's a hospital, Daniel. Of course they gave him drugs."
"I meant drug - drugs."
"It's meant... to.. help." Philip said with a waning smile. "It.. tastes... bad, Jack."
Jack dropped the joking and leaned over to brush his lips over Phil's forehead. "I know, babe." He straightened up again. "But it's put color back in your cheeks."
"Sure." Phil snorted.
"Believe me, you're at least three shades of pale better than you were before."
Phil rolled his eyes and looked at Daniel. Through dry lips he mouthed the words, "Help me," to him.
Daniel smiled then lifted his face to address Jack. "Can I have a private word with my friend, please?"
Jack looked at the anthropologist then down at the patient. "Careful, he only wants you for your drugs."
Phil's face twitched and almost formed a smile as he blinked slowly. Jack dropped the joking again and leaned over the side rail to plant a kiss on Phil's brow. "I'll be right back. Five minutes, the max." As he straightened up he caught Daniel's eye and the look told him everything. 'Don't wear him out.' The friend returned a quick nod then turned to watch Jack go.
"Never.. thought.. leave," Phil said, breathless again. Daniel smiled at him as he reached to lower the bedside. He hitched his leg onto the edge of the bed and sat down. "How's .. Grae?"
Daniel considered fobbing that off with the mandatory answer, but he knew Phil wouldn't want that kind of treatment.
"He's rough," the anthropologist told him honestly.
"Look.. after.. him?"
"I don't think he wants me to," Daniel said, biting his lips together in a shy smile at the end.
"Yes. Does." Phil's hand fumbled for Daniel's and held it. "Loves.. you."
Shaking his head, Daniel gave a derisive smile as he said, "I think you're wrong about that."
"No."
"Look, you shouldn't be tiring yourself out about this. I promise to keep an eye on him, but it's up to him."
With a weak squeeze of the hand, Philip repeated, "Loves.. you."
"I don't.. think we should be talking about this. Not right now, okay?"
Clamping his eyes tight, Phil rolled his head away. Daniel frowned and leaned across the frail body to rest his hand on the other side of the bed. "Phil?"
"What?"
"Are you okay? Should I call a nurse?"
"No." He rolled his head back slowly to look at his concerned friend. "What.. should.. we.. talk.. 'bout?"
Surprised by the strange question, and realizing it was Phil's way of saying that he didn't really want to change the subject, Daniel pouted out his bottom lip as he shrugged.
"My. Room.. or .weather?" Phil queried sardonically.
Daniel looked around the room then at the window. "Nice room, pity about the weather."
A wry smile twisted Phil's mouth then he started coughing once more. "Thanks," he said, showing his appreciation of Daniel's humor under the circumstances.
"Okay, so you want to talk about Graham?" Daniel asked, earning himself a grateful look from the ailing man.
"What about me?" Came the question from the man who'd just entered the room again. He held out a polystyrene cup to Daniel and the confused man took it with a quiet 'thanks'.
"I thought you could probably do with one," the lieutenant explained the kind gesture. Daniel looked down and met Phil's knowing look. Biting his bottom lip he slipped off the bed and went around to the chair on the other side.
"Sorry if I've stopped your conversation," Graham said as he peeled off the plastic lid from his cup and blew over the hot contents. Daniel's eyes met Phil's once more then the anthropologist lifted his chin slightly.
"We hadn't started it," Daniel said. Graham's eyes flickered up and met the blue gaze from across the bed.
"Should I go out and come back in again then?" He asked, obviously joking.
Daniel bit back his smile. "No, I don't think that's necessary."
Graham leaned over to put his cup on the side cabinet then picked up the clean wash cloth left there to wipe Phil's face with.
"Phil," he called and waited as the head slowly rolled over to look at him. "Mom and Dad are coming."
With a muffled groan and a clamping of his eyes, Phil acknowledged that. He reached his hand out and Graham held it. "I'll be okay-" the lieutenant told his brother. "With any luck, it will take them a week to scrape the money together."
"Any idea when they might arrive?" Daniel asked, almost aware of how horrible this all might be for Graham as the two brothers were. It horrified him to learn about the bad treatment Graham received from his father after he 'came out' to him.
Graham looked up from his brother's face. "None.
Phil acknowledged that with a faint blink of the eyes. "Don't.. tell.. them."
"No, I know," Graham said with a nod then looked at Daniel. "We're only telling them that he has cancer."
Daniel nodded his understanding. With a frown, he said, "How are you going to explain Jack though?"
Graham looked down at his brother again and wiped the perspiration off the pallid face with the cloth. "That's a good question."
"Talk.. t' him," Phil whispered, as if the news of the parent's imminent arrival had sapped all his energy. Graham crinkled up his nose then looked over at Daniel again.
"Could you talk to him?"
"About what?" Daniel asked, almost mortified that he had to be the one to suggest to Jack to 'back off' around Philip. "Oh no, no. You've got to be joking?" There was no way Jack was going to agree to pull back his affections around his dying lover, and part of Daniel regretted having to even ask him to.
"Please, Dan," Graham said.
The pet name that Graham used to use with him caught the anthropologist's attention and he looked over at him. Nothing in Graham's features told him he'd used the name deliberately to win him over though, so he nodded and mumbled, "I'll try.."
<end of part 59>
Stories on this page are the property of Nessessitee and Slida. Please do not copy these without the written permission of the Author. All Rights are acknowledged for MGM, Gekko and Stargate Productions as to the Copyrights of the characters within this story and no infringement on the copyrights are intended. For the Bombshells Series the character of Philip Simmons is entirely the creation and intellectual property of Nessessitee and Slida.
While the performances given by RDA and MS help to fuel the author's desire to write for their characters in a niche that she feels is present on the actual show, the portrayal of their characters in loving relationships in no way reflects the Author's opinion of the men's private life, nor should it be construed in that manner.