Part 73
Jack stopped just inside the hospital room and held back, waiting on the edges for the nurse to finish her observations. All the while he was aware of the dark eyes watching him from the bed, the face set as a plastic thermometer jutted from a tight-lipped mouth.
The nurse took the device from Phil's lips and then wrote the results on the chart. He watched her, then as she put the board back onto the end of the bed she smiled at him and said, "Well, you continue to amaze us, Mr. Simmons."
"I amaze me sometimes too," Philip said as he cast his eyes in Jack's direction. The older man wasn't sure if it was absolution or another attempt to make him feel badly.
"Well, whatever you're doing, keep doing it. Your results are even an improvement on this afternoon's, which were better than this morning's. Keep up this rate and you'll be home by the middle of the week.."
Philip turned his attention to the nurse and asked, in a soft, hushed tone, "What day is it?"
"It's Sunday," she said before she smiled at him and left the room.
"Sunday?" Philip said after she'd gone. Jack stepped to the bed and Philip lifted his chin to look up at him. "A day of miracles?"
"If you believe in that kind of thing."
"And even if you don't, it seems."
Jack frowned. Was that acceptance within his partner's eyes?
"What's that mean?" he asked cautiously.
Philip shrugged as he lowered his face and fiddled with his sheet. "Grae and Daniel where just here."
"I saw them in the corridor," Jack said, unfazed by the sudden change in topic.
"Do me a favor? Don't ever put my brother in a spy situation. He's totally hopeless at lying." Philip chuckled to himself, more derisively than humorously then he wagged his finger as he said; "Now Daniel, see he's good. He's got the 'quiet, stand behind and don't say a damn thing' act down pat. Helps when you're excruciatingly gorgeous, I suppose. It might dazzle your enemy into forgetting they wanted answers from you in the first place.." The ebony brow knitted suddenly then Philip looked up at Jack, almost earnestly, as he asked, "Do you think he practices that look? You know the one? Mouth a little open, his blue eyes blinking.." He completed his quiet diatribe with a very good impersonation of Daniel's best 'innocent' look.
"What are you getting at?" Jack asked flatly. Phil's eyes grew a little distant as he sat back against the pillows.
"Why are you all lying to me?"
With his hand buried into his pockets, Jack shrugged. "We're not."
"Jack!" Phil clenched his jaw as he turned his face away slightly. "Don't."
"I'm telling you the truth, Philip. This *is* your chart."
The younger man looked at him, searched his eyes intently then nodded slowly. "That much I believe - now."
"Oh?" Jack turned his bottom lip down as he gave another shrug. "That's .. a start."
"Janet explained.."
The colonel gave a soft scoff that stopped Philip from continuing that sentence. It was enough to know that it wasn't anything he'd said to convince his lover but more what Janet had told him before.
"I can believe that I'm .. better.. What I don't know or understand is 'how'. No one seems to want to tell me that. Don't I have the right to know what the hell happened to me last night?" His voice grew tight at the end of his sentence.
Jack's eyes softened a little when he heard his lover's distress. As he reached out to touch Phil's cheek he was rewarded with the younger man's reaction. Instead of pulling away as he'd expected Phil to do, instead his partner closed his eyes, nudged his cheek against the hand and brought his own hand up to hold Jack's. Jack knew that meant he didn't want to fight; he was just scared and wanted answers.
"Can you trust me? Just a little bit longer? I promise you I'll tell you what you want to know, but in a little while. When you're better."
"I am better. I thought that was what we were fighting about."
"You know what I mean. Trust me-"
Almost coming in over the top of him, Philip said, "I just don't know what to believe anymore. This can't be real!"
Jack understood the confusion - thanks to Janet's conversation and his own common sense - and he didn't blame his lover for the doubts. Who wouldn't have them? He lightly ran his thumb over the fine lines, caused by too much laughter, at the edge of Philip's eyes.
"Believe in me.. In Us.." He told him simply.
"I do.." Philip's voice grew softer at the caress. "I believe in you, Jonathan.."
A smile twitched at Jack's lips at the term of endearment. "Enough to trust me then?" He asked.
"Until the day I die.." Philip whispered before he turned his face and kissed Jack's hand. The slight fist uncurled against the cheek then Jack reached down as he drew the face towards him. Philip put his hand over Jack's mouth as he stared into the out of focused eyes. "But you have to be honest with me.."
Jack's lips twitched as he stared at the man he thought he'd lost almost twenty-four hours ago now. How could he be totally honest with him? But how could he lie to him either? He gave a faint nod as he moved to smooth his thumb across Phil's soft, plump lips. Gone was the chronic dryness that had kept them cracked and white for the past month. Now they looked brown and soft and oh-so-intoxicating.
He settled himself onto the edge of the bed and faced the questioning young man. "What really happened last night?" Philip asked.
"It's a long story."
"Evidentially-" Philip quipped - "I have the time now.."
"It's not what you think," Jack told him.
"Don't tell me what it isn't. Tell me what it is." He swallowed then added, "Do I have to worry about side-effects? What might happen to me in years to come?"
Jack reached to touch him. "Baby, we didn't run experimental drugs on you.."
"Then how do you explain the 'miracle'?"
As he bit on his bottom lip Jack held the troubled gaze. "It's not a miracle. It's technology.."
Philip frowned. He wasn't expecting that response. "Technology? Have scientists discovered a way to help terminally ill people?"
"Ugh.." Jack cringed then shook his head. "No. It's not freely available to the open world."
"But.. if you have the technology - how can you not share it with others? Especially if there are no side effects? Think of the benefits.."
Jack shook his head again and said, "Because to let the world know about this would open up a whole can of worms that we're just not ready to deal with at the moment."
"You're telling me you have the technology to heal dying people and you're worried about dealing with the what? Mass hysteria?"
"Baby!' Jack sighed then tilted his head. "You can't tell anyone about this. This has got to be between us. It's not just any kind of technology.. it's.. it's.. Look, I'm sorry - but that's all I can say about it. You're just gonna have to trust me! And not say anything to anyone about it! Ever!" He said it so forcefully that it was almost like he was talking to Charlie again and telling him that he couldn't do something because 'I'm your father and I said so'.
Jack's sudden switch to a paternal, military tact with him left Philip even more suspicious about the nature of this technology.
Waving his hand around by his head, Jack continued to say, "You're just going to have to accept.."
"This Top Secret technology.." Philip said in a wary voice. "It wouldn't be 'stolen' by any chance?"
Jack was surprised and showed as much on his face. "Stolen?"
However Philip read his genuine surprise as a façade and squinted his eyes as he sized up his partner. "So," he said with a conspiratory nod, "Who invented it? The Russians? The Chinese?"
Hoping that by making it a joke Philip would drop the subject sooner, Jack flung his hands around, as he said, "Not even close! In fact, you'll never guess because it will be the very last thing you could think of.. so you may as well give up now..."
"You make it sound out of this world," Philip said, also joking.
The graying brow twitched then Jack said, "Well, you know.."
Philip chuckled. "Jack there's no way you're getting me to believe little green men invented it.."
Lifting his eyes to the ceiling, Jack said, glibly, "They aren't 'that' little.. And they aren't green either.."
Philip's chuckled turned into a deep laugh. "Yeah, right! Next you'll be telling me I need to worry about growing antennae.."
"Antennae?" Jack arched his brow then, with a nonchalant shrug, he tossed his hand towards the mop of black curls cascading onto Phil's shoulders as he said, "Under that mop, you probably already have but we'll never know!"
Phil's face creased with a smile momentarily, but then concern darkened his features again as he checked; "Seriously though... I'm not about to lose an arm or a leg then?"
Jack's smile dimmed as he said, "No, you're not. It's safe. 100%. I wouldn't have let them do it if it wasn't."
"So, it's been used before?" Philip reiterated. Jack nodded then shrugged.
"And that person's okay?" Philip asked, his voice edgy.
Jack scratched at his brow as he said, "Something - very - similar.. was used on.. me."
"You?"
"And Danny. Lot's of times on Daniel, actually.."
"Holy shit.. batman." Philip covered his mouth as he folded his legs up and rested his elbows onto his knees. He pushed back his thick waves as he stared, in disbelief at the pattern on the bedding.
Before Jack could say anything else, Phil's head snapped up and he asked, "Your HIV?" His eyes narrowed as he said, "They cured you?"
The older man lowered his chin to his chest then he sighed loudly. "They needed me back at work.."
"'They' would have let you die.. but because 'they' needed you.. 'they' cured you?" Phil's voice cracked with surprise.
Jack sighed and scrubbed his hands through his short hair. "It's not like that. This .. thing... It's way - way too complicated."
The agitated man wasn't appeased by Jack's reasoning. "But I'm right, aren't I? Because you were needed by 'them' they decided to grace you with good health?" His voice grew vehement. "Well, thank god you were important to them, or I'd have given you a death sentence!"
"Baby.."
"No, Jack!" Philip's head jerked as he stared at him with wide, furious eyes. "Oh God! What kind of people are they?" He hissed angrily.
"Hey," Jack said gently but firmly, "They're the kind of people who pulled out a lot of damn stops to save ONE civilian's life... for *my* sake! As far as I'm concerned.. that wipes the slate clean!"
Philip frowned. "I don't follow you?"
"Philip, we can't save everyone!" Shades of a conversation he'd had with Daniel came back to haunt him so he shuddered that down as he continued on. "We can't reproduce this technology - not yet - so we can't even look at using it to help the dying, as you put it. That's not to say we won't - maybe in the future, but for now it's safely locked away and we take it out to learn about it and test it... that's all. And the Government does not normally approve of 'borrowing' items to save the life of a civilian who has nothing to do with the projects we carry out."
"So why did they do that? If it wasn't to test it on a civilian?"
Jack sighed and pressed his fingers and thumb into his tired eyes. "They did it for me."
Philip frowned then blinked quickly. "You?" He tilted his head as he considered; "They saved my life for your sake?"
With another shrug, Jack said, "Basically."
"So I'm indebted to you?"
"No!"
"To them then," Philip said. "I'm their insurance clause. You're indebted to the Government for saving your little bit of ass - they've bought your silence and your obedience..."
"Philip! Jesus.. No!" Jack shook his head. "Stop saying 'they' as if we're talking Pentagon here! The 'they' you are referring to are my co-workers.. your good friend, Daniel, and even your damn brother!"
"Graham knew about this?"
"No! No!" Jack sighed. "I meant that he's at the level of the 'they' that we're talking about. Not some top-ranking higher-up people. It was simply a case of my co-workers knowing how I feel about you.." he said and his voice sharpened slightly as he stared into the dark eyes. "They knew I'd be a mess if you died.." With a shrug he conceded to one point. "Maybe you're right about the obedience, though. Saving your life certainly has indebted me to them - and the program. I actually resigned a few days ago.."
"You did? Why?"
"It's a long, long story and I 'can't' tell you much of it.. but I've done a few things that .. well, it's helped a lot of people stay alive, let's put it that way. We kinda have this running joke on the Base - that we keep 'saving the world'-"
Philip's eyes rolled slightly. "Yeah, sure you do," he chuckled good-naturedly at the notion that Jack and his team could save the world.
Jack quirked his brow. He actually found it comforting that Philip could be so totally oblivious to the near misses that the world had suffered through at the hands of the Goa'ulds. It also proved that the Lieutenant was a man of his measure and didn't ever let his brother in on the 'secret' of the base.
Yet, despite all the comfort he derived from Phil's innocence to Armageddon there was a part deep within Jack that wanted to tell Philip that he wasn't just joking, that he did save the world on more than one occasion and that, although they might not have invented the Healing Device, the little green men 'did' exist out there.
"Anyway, go on.." Philip said, hugging his knees to his chest like a child did when listening to a beloved parent read them a bedtime story.
Jack didn't let that detract from the seriousness of their discussion though. "I guess it was just eating me up inside that *I* knew we had this technology, and I'd had it used on me, but I was powerless to save you - the only person in this whole damn world that I really wanted to save..."
"Thanks..," Phil said quickly then smiled. Jack shrugged.
"I figured that my level of commitment would be way down there going back in there once.. well, once it was all over."
"But why retire? Why didn't you just put in for a transfer like Grae did?"
Jack thought about that a moment then shrugged. "Resentment. If they couldn't do this one.. little.. thing for me, after all the crap I've been through for them..
"You'd take your bat and ball and go home instead?"
Jack looked at his lover then nodded, frankly saying, "I couldn't play the game anymore!"
"What were you going to do - once you retired?" Philip asked then saw the look in Jack's eyes. "Oh.... no.. no way.." He shook his head and laughed a little in disbelief.
Jack lowered his chin to his chest then he gave a derisive smile as he said, "We'll never know.."
"Jack!"
"Please, Philip-" He got off the bed and stood, staring at his lover's face. "I don't want to think about that - not anymore. It's done.." he said, tossing his hand to accent his words.
The younger man was silent for a few moments then he said, "I hate that they used me to keep you in the Force, but I'm not sorry that it happened. If this is all true and I can trust it.."
"It is.. and you can.." Jack said.
Shaking his head slightly Philip said, "I still need the proof, hun. As much as I love you, I can't just believe blindly.."
"Fine," Jack said, without taking offence. "Have it your way, but I'm telling you, things will be okay now."
Philip smiled nervously, almost wanting to just 'believe' - as much for himself as for Jack. "Once my test results clear me of the HIV.."
Jack stared at him a long moment - he wanted to tell him that everything would be all right - but he was nagged by the fact that he and Daniel had been cured by a sarcophagus, not a healing device, so perhaps Philip was right in wanting the tangible truth.
"Maybe you're right and we should wait for the results.." he said glumly. Phil's face darkened.
"Are you telling me there might be a reason for concern now?"
"No, I'm just telling you that waiting and being sure of the results is ... well, it makes sense. That way your mind's totally at ease.."
Looking a little uncertain now, Philip nodded. "Totally.."
"And it won't be that long. A week at tops. After what we've been through, that's not asking too much, right?"
Again Philip nodded.
Jack smiled gently at him now as he said, "But here's something that doesn't need to wait.." He reached his hands out to cup the bearded face and he pressed his lips to Philip's tenderly.
They pulled back slightly but remained so close that Phil's lips brushed Jack's as he spoke. The desire in his voice belied the words he uttered; "Maybe this should wait too.."
Jack nudged the mouth with his own before saying, "Trust.. me.." He closed his lips over Phil's once more then tentatively his tongue broached the slightly parted lips - entering the warm, moist cavern for the first time in many months.
The moment their tongues touched Philip wrapped his arms around Jack's neck, crushing him closer as he crawled up onto his knees. Jack's hands glided down the sides of the hospital gown then around the back, to the knotted ties that loosely held it closed. His fingers sought the warm flesh within and found it, unobstructed by the gaping back of the gown. Philip moaned as Jack's fingers danced across his back for the first time in a very long while. Jack rejoiced in the feel of the smooth, straight back, and followed the spine down... down to the disappointment of discovering Philip was wearing underwear. The younger man heard the soft grunt from his lover and laughed into his mouth as he sucked on his tongue. Jack gave up the fight and wrapped his strong arms around Philip's waist, almost dragging him off the bed and against his chest in an effort to consume Philip fully. The kneeling man, slightly higher than Jack now, tilted his head down further to devour the insatiably hungry mouth.
Lost together in endless kisses neither man noticed as the door opened up some time later and Graham walked in, stopped dead in his tracks by the passionate sight before him. Daniel, who'd been walking behind him, his head bowed, slammed right into the back of him and looked up, seeing for himself what had stopped Graham so abruptly.
Soft, lecherous grunts filled the room as Jack's hands slid down the backs of Phil's thighs then around to the front of the knees then up... catching up the hem of the light blue gown ... Up.. up.. Until...
Daniel suddenly reached for the door and scrambled out of the room, then, as the door started to close he reached in and grabbed Graham's shoulder to drag him out behind him.
Out in the corridor the flushed-faced brother coughed softly then said, "I think.."
"He's feeling better.." Daniel added, also at a lost for words by the erotic display of passion between the two men. "He said give them some time.."
"Surely we were gone long enough?" Graham checked his watch as Daniel shrugged.
"Obviously not.."
"Hey there," Sam's bright voice caught both men off guard. They spun around on the spot to see her standing by the door, with her hand poised on the handle.
"Don't!" They shouted together when they saw she was about to enter the room. Quickly they exchanged brief glances then looked back at her when she spoke.
"Why?" She slotted her eyes towards the door. One look at their faces had her pushing on the door and going in. Soon she returned, as flushed as they were.
"Holy .. Hannah!" She blew out a loud breath.
"We did warn you!" Daniel said, folding his arms over his chest.
"They.. ugh.." She stammered, jutting her thumb over her shoulder.
"Need their privacy at the moment.." Graham said, with a sly look at Daniel. The anthropologist was still blushing.
Sam covered her hot cheeks as she laughed. "Whoa! That was.. Ugh.. hot.."
The two men exchanged frowns. "You're a lesbian," Graham said, not understanding the attraction a man would hold for her - let alone two men.
She shrugged. "Yeah, but don't gay guys fantasize about women? I mean you .. well.. don't you?"
Graham's frown deepened as he looked at his partner. Daniel shrugged and looked away, having had his bisexuality well and truly documented by previous liaisons with the Gate.
Graham sucked back a deep breath as he said, "Um.. not recently.."
Daniel's chuckle caught in his throat and he ended up coughing, drawing the attention from the two others to him. He brought his fist up and coughed against it as he lowered his eyes to the floor.
"Oh," Sam said, then curled her bottom lip as she shrugged. She saw another exchange between them and suddenly she turned to Daniel, her mouth dropped open. "Oh my god!"
"What?" He asked, his blue eyes the picture of innocence.
Sam pointed at Graham then at her friend. "You .. two?"
Graham looked at Daniel then rolled his eyes as he lowered them to the floor, indicating to his lover that it was up to him if he told her.
Daniel raised one of the arms that was across his chest to his mouth, where he tugged on his bottom lip gently, all the time he held Sam's wide eyed gaze, but he said nothing. She grew wary of his gaze then smiled, patted her back pocket and said, "I'm going for a coffee. Why don't you both join me?"
Daniel licked his bottom lip as he twisted to look at Graham, who'd made his way to one of the hard plastic chairs again. The lieutenant got to his feet and said, "Yeah, well, I don't think we're getting in there to see him anytime soon!"
Sam chuckled then said, "Nice to know he's feeling better.."
"Obviously feeling better," Graham agreed then they both smiled. Daniel stepped around to the other side of Sam and the three of them made their way to the café.
<End of part 73>
Stories on this page are the property of Nessessitee and Slida. Please do not copy these without the written permission of the Author. All Rights are acknowledged for MGM, Gekko and Stargate Productions as to the Copyrights of the characters within this story and no infringement on the copyrights are intended. For the Bombshells Series the character of Philip Simmons is entirely the creation and intellectual property of Nessessitee and Slida.
While the performances given by RDA and MS help to fuel the author's desire to write for their characters in a niche that she feels is present on the actual show, the portrayal of their characters in loving relationships in no way reflects the Author's opinion of the men's private life, nor should it be construed in that manner.