Part 75
As the door closed behind Sam and Janet Jack looked back at the man in the bed. A huge smile lit the handsome face and that made Jack smile too.
"I guess I should get going as well," Daniel said as he got to his feet and checked his pockets for his car keys. "I have to return to work tomorrow."
"So soon?" Jack asked as his friend turned to face him. The anthropologist gave a slight shrug.
"No reason not to, now," he said with a glance back at Philip.
Graham started talking to Philip and drew his attention away from the other two men, leaving them to talk, but even Graham was aware of the fact that Phil's attention didn't really stray from the back of the dark blond head, nor the gray haired man talking to him.
Daniel turned back to face Jack and blinked quickly as he asked, in a low voice, "I take it everything *is* alright with him?" His forehead wrinkled as he looked at his friend from under his lashes.
Either Jack missed the low concern in Daniel's voice or he plainly ignored it as he started to bounce on the balls of his feet as he said, with a gleam in his eyes, "Better than that! It seems that the device is helping his muscles regenerate."
The concerned man's frown deepened to one of confusion. After a moment of thought he tilted his head and said, quietly, "Well, that does make sense. If it could repair Cronos' damage.."
Jack pressed his lips together as he gave his friend a quirky smile while he tweaked his eyebrows. "Exactly! And tonight.. I watched him walk.. for the first time in. days.." He sounded almost like a proud father.
The younger man looked at his elated friend. He couldn't recall seeing Jack look this happy, or this relaxed in a very long time. He felt wrong wanting to quell some of the enthusiasm by telling Jack about the night terrors he'd experienced after his first encounter with the sarcophagus on Ra's ship - back when no one knew what the device was nor what it was capable of doing to a human body, which, he figured, would be exactly where Philip was at the moment. In some real confusion, despite the joy of being alive.
Jack's enthusiasm made him wonder if he was worrying needlessly. If Philip started to display unsettled behavior then Daniel could speak up about his own experiences, but, if Philip coped well, no one needed to know what the anthropologist personally went through.
Rubbing at his eyes tiredly, Daniel muttered, "I'm really pleased to hear he's coping well.."
Jack's smile faded a little as he watched his deflated friend. "What's up?"
"Huh?" Daniel asked as he peered over the top rim of his slightly skewed glasses. "What?"
"You! You look like you've lost your last rock.."
Daniel's eyes flickered, almost a roll, as he said, "I'm just tired. I didn't sleep much last night."
"Ah!" Jack's face lit with another smile, this time a teasing one as he nudged his friend's arm with his elbow.
"Not like that!" Daniel groused then sighed.
"So what kept you awake then?" Jack said, changing to concern once more.
"I just.. couldn't sleep. I think the past few days have finally caught up with me. My brain won't shut down," he said as he waved his hand around by the side of his head.
Jack couldn't help but smirk despite his friend's serious tone. "Really?"
Daniel looked at him then rolled his eyes more definitely this time. "Really!" As he scratched the back of his ear with his thumb he added, "How's.. ugh.. How did Philip sleep?"
Jack screwed his face up slightly as he shrugged. "He had a few nightmares.."
Daniel nodded like he was expecting that. "So did Graham."
"He did?"
"Yeah!' Daniel pointed to his left pec as he muttered, "Got a bruise the size of his foot right there to prove it."
"Ouch." The older man grimaced.
"I'm hoping he sleeps better tonight," Daniel said, stifling a yawn.
Jack watched him closely then said, "Because you have work tomorrow.."
The younger man nodded then said, unenthusiastically, "Basically. I really could use a good night's sleep myself.."
After pausing a moment Jack gave a quick grimace as he waved his hands around slightly and said, "Look, I know that we just don't 'go there'.. but is everything alright.. with you and Simmons?"
A little surprised by his friend's unexpected question Daniel blinked quickly while he mentally pushed aside his feelings of being 'left out' in the conversation in the coffee shop earlier. After all, why wouldn't Graham be interested in Sam and anything she had to say about the hand device? Why wouldn't he want to relive the healing, listening to her tell him how she could 'feel' the chest clearing. Why wouldn't he sit and hang on her every word.....? Daniel pursed his lips, making a dimple appear on his cheek before he said, "Fine."
Shaking his head now, Jack went on to say, "For a guy that just got back together with his.. well.." He shrugged. "You don't seem overly .. happy."
Daniel met the brown eyes and held the gaze a moment before he lowered his head. "Jack, I'm tired. That's all."
"Okay-" The friend flung his hands up in mock surrender. "Don't say I didn't ask!"
Muttering under his breath, Daniel said, "well, things are fine."
"Cool."
"Good."
"Great."
"I should go," the anthropologist said then he turned to go back towards the bed, aware that Jack was watching him the whole time. As he stepped up to the side of Philip he lowered his eyes and said, "When are you getting out of here?"
"Few more days by the looks of things. Janet wants to run a few more tests."
"I can, ugh, call by tomorrow after work. See how you're going."
"Thanks, Daniel."
"Can I bring you anything? Something to read? Or some drawing things?"
The younger man smiled as he shook his head, then he settled back against the pillows behind him as he said, "Jack's going home tonight. He can get some stuff for me, but thanks!"
Daniel's eyes shifted to look across the bed to Jack. It was a glance that did not go unnoticed by Philip.
"Good." Daniel dragged his gaze back to the patient. With a small, friendly smile he said, "I'll see you tomorrow then."
Philip nodded warily but said, in an amiable tone, "Bye Daniel. Oh, and thanks for coming to see me. And I'm really sorry I was so rude to you earlier."
"Think nothing of it," the anthropologist said flippantly. "I work with Jack. I'm used to rude."
"Hey!" The colonel protested while Philip laughed.
"Well, I'm glad he's such good training."
Jack pointed his finger at his lover, as he said; "Watch it!"
"I might get going as well," Graham said as he slipped off the bed. In the background, unnoticed by anyone else in the room, Jack gave a sigh of relief to see that Graham was leaving with Daniel.
The lieutenant was saying, "I'll leave you two to squabble this out between you."
Philip reached out to grab his brother's hand. "Thanks."
Graham winked at him. "I'll come by tomorrow. Anything I can bring for you?"
"I've got a book by my bed. Do you think you could bring it in tomorrow?"
"Sure. Is it on your nightstand?"
"Or the floor. Or the windowsill. Actually, it might be pushed just under the lefthand side of it.. on the floor..."
"I get the idea-" Graham laughed as he patted his brother's arm. "Night!" He said, looking at both men before he followed Daniel from the room.
"That's not something I expected to see," Philip said as he watched the door close.
"What?"
"Those two. They seem to have become friends again."
Jack shrugged and thought /Baby, you don't know the half of it/
As he settled back into his pillows even more Philip yawned and said, "Maybe they might get together again."
"You don't give up, do you?"
"I'm a romantic," the young man said quietly with a sweet smile. "Sue me."
The dark, chocolate-brown eyes grew warm as Jack settled on the edge of the bed, his hands in his own lap, and he said, "There's things I'd like to do to you, but suing is not one of them."
Phil's hooded eyes twinkled wickedly as a smile crinkled their edges. "Oh, Really?"
Jack tilted his face but kept the intense stare. "Really!"
*
"You look tired," Graham said as they drove out of the parking lot.
"Yeah, I'm beat. So I guess it's your place tonight? Considering you need to get that book for Philip?"
As he watched familiar houses go by, the Lieutenant said, "Maybe we ought to both sleep alone tonight?"
Daniel's eyes briefly left the road as he glanced towards him. After a minute of silence, he said, "If you'd rather-"
"I'm thinking of you here, Dan," Graham said. "You look like you could use some sleep, that's all, and I don't want a repeat of last night.."
"Actually I enjoyed having you sleep in my lap."
"You know what I mean," the younger man said as his eyes shifted briefly to Daniel's chest, indicating that he'd seen the bruising as they dressed that morning.
The dark blue car slipped into Mainland Street as Daniel said, "If you have that nightmare again you might need me.."
"No, Dan," Graham said quietly but testily. "Please." He sighed heavily as he rubbed his face. "It's better this way." As he said that he turned to face the driver and in a soft, serious voice he said, "I don't want to hurt you again."
The anthropologist slotted his eyes towards the man beside him. What did he mean by that line? Hurt, as in physically - or emotionally? Had their affair - as brief as it had been - served its purpose already? Graham had been more attentive of Sam and her explanation of the healing device over the coffee earlier but that seemed perfectly normal, considering the circumstances.
"You might not have that dream.." Daniel wondered if that look in Graham's eyes was telling him that hurting him had nothing to do with lashing out in a dream.
He steeled himself with a sharp nod. "Okay," he said, his voice strong despite the disappointment. "I'll drop you off home."
"Are you okay with that?" The younger man asked.
Daniel shrugged as he said, "Yeah, I'm okay with that." He made a right into Graham's street then eased his car up in front of the apartment block. Graham reached for the handle then looked back over his shoulder to the driver.
"I can't exactly kiss you good bye," he said, aware of the few people milling about despite the inclimate weather and the late hour. Daniel pursed his lips together which made a dimple appear on one cheek.
"So long as you wanted to," he said, with a worn smile.
Graham's eyes darted across the handsome face before he said, "Of course."
"Night," Daniel said, waiting for him to get out then he gave him a small wave. Graham watched the car pull away from the kerb, the exhaust fumes clouding up the rear lights as Daniel drove off down the road.
*
Jack gathered up his coat and held it in his arms as he moved over towards Philip's bed.
"I've gotto tell you," he said with a small, odd smile, "This feels.."
"Weird?"
"Wrong. Leaving you like this.."
Philip smiled at him. "It's only for one night! Go home, get some rest because tomorrow you have to clean that house!"
Jack growled as he screwed his face up. "Okay, I didn't need to be reminded of that!" His lover laughed.
"I'm sorry," he said, then shook his head as he said, "Actually, I'm glad it's you and not me!"
Jack rolled his eyes as he reached down and quickly kissed Phil's temple. "Good night!" He muttered as he rounded the bed and went over to the door.
"Hey Jack.."
"What?"
"I kinda like this.." Phil said with a smile.
"You like that I'm leaving you?"
"I like that you can," the younger man said. Jack gave that some thought and agreed with a nod. He winked at his lover then tugged on the door to open it.
"Oh and Jack-"
The colonel let go of the door. "Yes, Philip?" He elongated the words to emphasize it.
"You will remember to bring me in some real clothes? Technically I'm not sick so I don't want to keep wearing this stupid gown. I'm freezing my ass off here!"
"And such a cute one it is, too. I'll remember your clothes. Which ones do you want? The black ones.. or.. the black ones?" Jack teased him.
Philip crinkled his nose as he said, "Surprise me!"
"You could always surprise me and shave before I come tomorrow.."
"But if you're expecting it, then it won't be a surprise.." Phil teased.
Jack growled then muttered before saying, in a louder voice, "I think I'd cope!"
"Jack, I'm leaving the beard. Get over it!" He laughed. The older man rocked his head side to side as he muttered under his breath. He gripped the handle again and started to pull the door open. "Oh and Jack.."
"God, what!" he said playfully through gritted teeth.
Phil gave him a demure smile as he mouthed, "Come here.."
Jack left the door and stepped across to the bed, his hands in his pockets and a huge smile on his face. "What?" He asked, his eyes shining with delight at his mischievous lover.
"Just wanted to tell you that I love you," Phil said in a low, husky voice. Jack lifted his eyes to the ceiling and that made Philip chuckle. "And that I'll be lying here tonight.. thinking.. of you.."
As he swallowed, Jack looked back down at him. "Just *thinking* of me, Philip?"
A smile twitched Phil's lips and the voice dropped to an even more seductive tone. "What else.. could I be doing-" The smile twitched once more. "Jonathan?"
The colonel blinked slowly as he twisted slightly, looking at the length of the body beneath the light bedclothes. Philip deliberately shifted his limbs beneath the blue covers. The dark eyes shifted back to focus on Philip but the head remained slightly turned away. "You can touch it, but don't break it!"
The younger man laughed. "I'm sure I know how to handle it with care by now.."
Jack turned to fully face him again. "Well, as a partner with a definite invested interest in it.. may I suggest you use complete caution.."
"Care to stamp 'Fondle with Care' on it, Fly boy?"
Jack wet his bottom lip slowly as he stared at the roguish man. "Don't push me," he said.
"Oh? You'll do what to me?" Philip deliberately bit his bottom lip now.
Jack's eyes shifted towards the small bathroom then back at his lover. Phil widened his eyes as he grinned but before either of them could do anything about it the night nurse came in and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, Colonel. Visiting hours are over."
"I know, Lieutenant," he said, addressing the nurse. "I was just following the General's orders and checking up on the patient before I went home."
The nurse smiled. "From all accounts, he's doing remarkably well."
Jack gave a slight nod as he watched Philip now. "Ah. Good."
"I'm Lieutenant Ahrora and I'll be looking after this wing tonight. If there's anything you need, just ring my bell."
"Do I call you Lieutenant or Nurse?"
The young woman smiled. "Call me Stacey. Now, I've forgotten a pen so I'll be right back and I'll do your obs then." As she left the room the two men looked at each other again and then Jack made a growly face, making Philip laugh again.
"Good timing!" The younger man said.
"Well, I think that's my cue to leave you."
"All revved up and no where to blow!" Philip sighed forlornly and Jack rolled his eyes in agreement.
"Don't forget to ring her bell!" he said, as he moved, albeit reluctantly, towards the door. As he tugged on the handle he looked back at his lover, who winked at him. Stacey entered the room again, smiled at Jack then went to the bed. Jack took another look at Philip then left.
*
After he dropped his coat by the front door Daniel lumbered his way through to his bedroom, stripping off as he went. He didn't even bother to switch on the light as he moved over to the chest of drawers to extract his favorite blue plaid pajamas. After tugging them on he dove onto the bed, groaning in frustration as he wriggled beneath the bedding. First he tried lying on his back, one arm tucked beneath his head as he stared up at the ceiling, watching the lights race across the shadows from the street below. In his mind he heard Graham’s deep, rich voice say, “Daniel” and he visualized his smile so completely that he ended up sighing forlornly to himself. Rolling onto his side he stared at the doors leading onto his balcony as he cuddled a pillow to his body. He closed his eyes and tried to stop the voice in his mind that was berating him, telling him that he had no one else to blame for this than himself.
He knew how Graham felt about male relationships. They were fun. They were physical. They were great while they lasted - but they were not for keeps. The young lieutenant often said he could see himself, in years to come, married with children.
With a frustrated grunt Daniel kicked off the bedding and stomped from the room, heading into the kitchen to make himself a hot chocolate. It would only be by the grace of God that he got any sleep tonight, but it couldn’t hurt to try.
As he waited for the milk to heat up he leaned onto the counter with his outstretched arms and hung his head. It was his fault. This whole Graham debacle was his fault! He was the one that started it. He knew Graham was screwed up and he knew what Graham was like when he needed comfort. Maybe they both just needed comfort in Phil's final days? Maybe that was all there was to it?
Biting his top lip the anthropologist straightened up, twirled on the spot as he folded his arms over his chest, then he leaned back against the cupboards and sighed heavily. Who was he kidding? He rekindled his affair with Graham because he loved him and he wanted him, and he wanted Graham to want him in return. He never expected love from the younger man, though. He knew he'd never get it, because – again - he knew how Graham felt about male lovers.
After the break up Philip told Daniel about his theory for his brother’s inability to fall in love with another man. The Librarian said that he’d looked up some books and had come to the conclusion that a part of Graham, far down, deep inside him, denied himself the chance to let go and actually fall in love with another man because that would mean Graham might never fulfill the dream of returning to ‘normal’ – or at least to Jaheed’s version of normal – and if he wasn’t ‘normal’ then he would never win back the love of his father.
Daniel wasn’t so sure he believed that theory at the time but after he’d witnessed Graham’s reactions to all of Jaheed’s abuse, he wasn’t so sure that the brother was wrong anymore. There did seem a part of the Lieutenant that still craved his father’s affection. Abused children often did, Daniel recalled learning within his studies. He, himself, was somewhat abused by parents who placed their careers before him, yet he never gave up the desire to ‘please’ them or to show them his achievements in the vain hope that their attention might turn upon him as intently as it featured on their artifacts and discoveries.
As he dried his cup he pondered on Philip’s theory and came to the conclusion that it had some very sound basis. The fact was that Graham may never realize that by denying himself, however unintentionally, the opportunity to openly love another man, he was somehow subscribing to his father's mentality that male-male relationships were not real. Believing that they were only for fun or for comfort and *not* for commitment might have been Graham's subconscious way of trying to still be his father's son.
Daniel switched off the flame before pouring the warm frothy milk into his cup as he reasoned that Graham had always been incredibly insecure, unable to believe that Daniel could find him remotely attractive. The anthropologist now blamed Jaheed for that streak of self-doubt within that gorgeous man, clearly seeing how the verbal abuse would strip away the layers of self-confidence in any person, especially a child of twelve who chose to be honest with his parents out of love. And, over time, that child grew into a man who .. and insecure man that couldn’t believe that the form of love he wanted was ‘healthy’ – so why should he take it seriously? If he didn’t take it seriously, he couldn’t get hurt again.
A wave of sympathy for the misguided man filled Daniel now as he stirred in the chocolate. His eyes shifted towards the phone on the wall. Maybe if he called, told Graham he understood and invited him around to talk about it the younger man would finally understand his own confusion.
But then again, would he see this as an answer if he didn't know he had a problem? Graham never seemed confused about his orientation. He loved men. He loved being physical with them. That thought had Daniel shivering slightly as he lowered his head and fluttered his lashes closed. Swarms of memories filled his mind. Of hands slipping across his chest and of lips upon his shoulder. Of a low, deep voice murmuring in his ear. Of dog tags nestled against a soft, black pelt.
After a heartbeat he felt himself grow rock hard within his pants while flashes of Graham's face during sex continued to fill his mind. He recalled the smile last Saturday morning when they met up in Jack's hallway and he teased him about his stubble. His breathing altered as he thought about how intense the passion used to be between them.
"Oh god," he moaned as he rubbed the palm of his hand into an unshielded eye and tried not to let his mind go where it was heading – thinking about Graham and his body. Not tonight, when he was alone without relief, but his mind didn’t listen. It conjured up the most perfect images of Graham, sprawled out across Daniel’s black sheets, or laughing as he knelt over him and caressed his smooth chest as they talked.
He loved Graham's physique. Loved his build and his muscles. Loved the dark hairs on his chest and arms and legs. Loved the trail leading to the groin. Loved the wide spread of pubic curls out from the often-hard shaft, and the sprinkling of curls down the inner thigh, thinning out to be a dusting of hair over the thigh and lower legs. Loved 'him'.
Fundamentally that was the one thing that differentiated these two men. Both loved *being* with men. Both loved the physicality of sex with another man, the pleasure of having a partner as strong, if not stronger than you, and both loved the companionship of men - they were less clingy between sexual encounters and they never asked too much. But the difference between them was Daniel also fell *in* love with men, Graham never had.
Daniel adjusted himself within his pajamas as he scooped up the cup from the counter and switched off the light with his elbow.
Another difference was that Graham was not one for incidental caresses. After sex, or rather between sex, they would lay entangled in the bed sheets but more often than not it was Daniel who did the caressing, while Graham half-sat half-laid against the bed head with his arm tucked behind his head and his other arm around Daniel’s shoulders.
Graham never instigated a kiss just for the hell of it. Daniel knew that if Graham ever came up to him and started to caress or kiss, he either nipped it in the bud or else prepare himself for an all-out sexual encounter. Saturday mornings, those Saturday mornings that Daniel spent on earth, would often find Daniel and Philip sprawled on the floor reading the paper while Graham reclined on the sofa. Daniel had had more intimate conversations with the younger brother than he had with his lover, yet despite all that, or because of all that, he knew he loved Graham. They just had different views on male relationships - Daniel’s parleyed to Philip’s ideals far more than to Graham’s.
As he settled himself onto the sofa he picked up the discarded novel and began to read it once more, but he soon gave up the pretense and tossed it aside. With his cock still heavy from his earlier memories he decided he should relieve himself, then perhaps he might fall asleep. Carefully he peeled back the pants and no sooner had he done that than there was a knock on his door.
Quickly he tucked himself away and tugged the top down to cover the bulge as he carefully walked to the door.
He wasn't sure whom he was expecting as he opened the door but his face split with a smile when he saw who it was.
"Hello. What brings you by?"
The man on the other side smiled and said, “I had to see you.”
<End of Part 75>
Stories on this page are the property of Nessessitee and Slida. Please do not copy these without the written permission of the Author. All Rights are acknowledged for MGM, Gekko and Stargate Productions as to the Copyrights of the characters within this story and no infringement on the copyrights are intended. For the Bombshells Series the character of Philip Simmons is entirely the creation and intellectual property of Nessessitee and Slida.
While the performances given by RDA and MS help to fuel the author's desire to write for their characters in a niche that she feels is present on the actual show, the portrayal of their characters in loving relationships in no way reflects the Author's opinion of the men's private life, nor should it be construed in that manner.