Part 77
Jack didn't realize he'd stood, mesmerized, by the drink machine until he felt a tap on his shoulder and someone asked him to step away. He moved over to the far table, dropping his long body onto a small chair. He tapped the top of the can of soda then he opened it, gulping down a large mouthful before wiping the back of his hand across his mouth. He put the can down then squinted his eyes as he peered out through the rain streaked windows at the gloomy day outside.
"Is this seat taken?"
Jack only barely heard those words then he finally looked up and saw Simmons standing before him with one hand resting on the back of the chair opposite his.
"Jack?"
"Oh, yeah.." The slouched man sat up, allowing the lieutenant the room to sit down.
"I saw you as I came in.." Graham placed his damp trench coat on the seat beside him then flicked the rain from his hands. When he ran his fingers through his hair he left tracks in the shiny black hair.
"You haven't seen Phil yet?" Jack asked before downing more of his drink.
Graham's ebony brow furrowed. "No. Why? Is there something wrong?" Jack took too long to answer the worried brother and Graham asked again, "Jack, is something wrong?"
"He.. ugh.. he woke up last night.." Jack said, before swallowing down the bitter taste in his mouth and meeting the concerned gaze. "He couldn't breath."
A parade of expressions passed across Graham's face right now. "Why?" Was the only word that left his lips.
Jack shrugged then sighed before drinking some more.
"His tests are all clear. This doesn't make sense?" Graham said, the agitation making his voice husky.
"Tell me about it."
"Where is he now?"
"I think he wants some time alone.."
"To brood?" Graham stood then said, "I don't think so, Jack. There has to be a reason for this."
"I'm going to see the Doc. She came on duty here about an hour ago. Wanna come?"
"Yes!" Graham said quickly as he gathered his things. Jack rose more slowly then the two men made their way out of the café and towards Dr Frasier's office.
*
Janet wasn't in her office when they arrived so they decided to wait a while. After twenty minutes, though, Graham decided he'd rather come back and see her later. His major concern was getting to Philip now.
As they entered the hospital room they saw Janet perched on the edge of the bed, talking quietly with her patient. Philip moved fast, too fast for either man to see the tears on his face before he hid himself from their view. Janet got up and went over to them, holding her hand out and grabbing Jack by the forearm as she begun to steer them from the room again.
"A moment, please, Colonel?"
"Me, too," Graham said and they all went into the corridor to talk.
"So what the hell's going on?" Jack asked; sounding more annoyed than worried. Whether that was because he was still confident in the healing effects of the device and was still finding Philips reactions 'annoying' or whether it was due to the fact that he was irritated at being ushered from the room so unceremoniously, Janet couldn't be sure. She gave the colonel a slightly sour look then swept her hand towards the chairs.
"Colonel," she said as they sat together. "I believe Philip's reaction last night was not so much a physical response but a reaction to the strain and stress he's been under."
"Say again?" Jack grumbled.
Graham made a soft grunt at the back of his throat before he said, "You're saying it's psychosomatic?"
Jack looked at him then at the Doctor. "You think it's all in his *head*?"
Janet gave a patient sigh then she lowered her voice and tried to explain. "I think it's very real to him. Lieutenant, how long had he know of his HIV status."
"About .. ugh.. two years.." Graham told her as he glanced at the other man for his opinion.
Jack nodded. "Little over.." he agreed.
"So for two years his mind has been preparing him for AIDS and, eventually, death.."
"But yesterday he said he understood..." Jack said, shaking his head as he sat back in the hard plastic chair.
"In a conscious state he can probably reason this sudden and very unexpected change in his body.. but it's his sub-conscious we're talking about here.." She arched her brow as Jack gave a sigh and looked across to Graham.
"So, what you're saying is he just needs time?" Jack said quietly, trying to understand this.
"Time and therapy.." Janet told him.
"Therapy?" Graham asked quietly. The pretty doctor nodded.
"He's agreed to undergo therapy for a while, just until he can work through all this."
Jack scrubbed his hand over his mouth then gave a hard snort as he shook his head. "In our attempt to save his life we've probably pushed him over the damn edge...?" He sat back again then said, "I didn't think how this would affect him. I just wanted this.. for me.." he said quietly.
"Don't beat yourself up over this, Jack. You weren't the only one who wanted this!" Graham assured him gently. The two men looked at each other then Jack shrugged.
"And this is a lot better than the alternative, Colonel," Janet said.
"So how long are we talking here?"
"Who knows with Philip?" She smiled encouragingly. "He's very determined to understand and accept this, you must understand that he is feeling quite betrayed by his own mind at the moment. Part of him is ready to get up out of that bed and go home.."
"And part of him isn't.." Jack said, fatalistically. Janet turned towards him.
"I don't think it would be wise to send him home just yet. He's already not coping so putting him in a further stressful situation.."
"And coming home with me.."
"Or me-"
"Would be a stressful situation?" Jack commented, shooting a quick look at Graham before focusing back onto Janet.
"Yes." She told each of them. "With you, Lieutenant, if he came home to you he'd feel like he was letting the Colonel down."
"Ah," Jack said quietly.
"But if he was to go home with you, Colonel.. well there's a whole issue there that he's very nervous about.." She said, her eyes telling him so much more than her words could. Jack read her completely. Philip was worried by the sex angle and the HIV status.
"Look, if he has to stay another day or two.." The older man said with a shrug. "So be it.."
"In the meantime I'd like to make his transition as easy as possible. He told me you brought in some of his personal belongings?"
Jack scratched at his eye as he said, "Ah, yeah. Some paper, paints, his personal CD player and some clothes.."
"I've brought him in a book.."
The Doctor was nodding. "That's good. If you can show him support - try to start to treat him like you might at home.. I think that's going to help enormously."
"Is he confined to his room?" Graham asked.
"No. He's free to come and go as he likes, but for his sake I wouldn't take him from the hospital grounds. Encourage him to get up out of the bed, though. Make sure he dresses everyday. Perhaps take him down to the café, just to get him used to being elsewhere other than his room."
"Maybe I could go home and get his easel?" Jack suggested. Janet nodded enthusiastically.
"That would help. I've also devised a Gym routine for him that I'd like to start him on this afternoon, so he's going to need clothing for that.."
"I can get some for him," Graham said. Jack nodded but said nothing. He was pretty sure Phil didn't have anything remotely like a sweat suit at his house. In fact, he couldn't even recall seeing the artist in a pair of sneakers.
"Bring in a few items. Considering the way in which his muscle definition is returning to him, I'd like to try to build up on that to strengthen the muscles and help bring him back to his correct weight for his height."
"Well, I could attend gym sessions with him," Jack suggested.
“We both could,” Graham agreed.
"Great." Janet nodded again. "We have a gym here so we'll get him started on that this afternoon. I'd suggest letting him go with the trainer on his own for the first few times until he's a little more confident. In the beginning I'm prescribing two workouts a day and I'd like to slowly build that to four, if possible - possibly with some swimming. Can he swim?"
"No," Jack and Graham said together and exchanged another glance. Janet nodded gravely. That put a spanner in her works, as she didn't think he needed to cope with learning to swim on top of everything else he was going to have to cope with. She mumbled as much under her breath.
"You *are* trying to build him up," Jack commented.
"He's very underweight, even for his height. His body suffered badly with the Wasting Syndrome and while his internal organs have been repaired, his body shape and muscular frame need a lot of work."
Jack looked across to the other man. Graham arched his brow and Jack returned that with a shrug. Janet noted the exchange of silent opinions and said, as she patted her thighs with her hands, "He's one scared young man, gentlemen. He's not able to trust his own mind at the moment so take it easy with him, okay?"
Both men nodded. "Oh and Colonel.." She looked at Jack and said, "You might want to take more time away from the side of the bed. Even when we've had aliens from other worlds stay in this establishment, it didn't warrant an eighteen hour guard by our top Colonel. Now, I'm not saying anyone's noticed it.. but I have.."
Jack searched her large, brown eyes then he slowly nodded. "Sure."
"We could take shifts," Graham suggested. "I'll sit with him today and you can come in tonight, if you want to."
"Unless you'd rather do tonight?" Jack said.
"No. I've got plans for this evening.." He said cagily and Jack formed the word, 'Oh!' with his mouth as he nodded.
"So if you have sorted that out," Janet said, getting to her feet. "I'll be making my rounds now." She checked her watched, cursed under her breath then took off in a fast trot towards her office. Jack sighed and slumped back in his seat as he covered his face with his hands.
Graham stared across the hall to the door. "Poor Philip. We always prayed for that miracle, never thinking what getting the actual thing might really do to him.."
"Yeah well-" Jack sat forward, resting his elbows onto his knees now. "He'll get there. If he's determined to do it.. then he's gonna get there."
That brought a smile to the younger man's lips. "You're right about that one, Jack."
"So what about these sweats?" Jack asked as they both got to their feet. “He’s got the one set with him, but he’ll need more.”
Graham groaned then said, "I'll go now and get them. I won't be long.."
"Take your time," Jack told him before they both returned into the room.
Philip was sitting, reading the book he'd discovered on the end of the bed amongst Graham's coat and umbrella. As the others entered he laid the opened book against his stomach and laced his hands together across its hard cover.
"How are you feeling?" Graham asked.
"Like I could use a decent night's sleep," the younger brother confessed.
"I'm going to go home and get a few clothes for you. Anything you want particularly?"
"I need some training gear," Philip said, watching his brother nod. "Oh, you know?"
"Doctor Frasier told us out there," Graham said. Phil's eyes darted between the two men then he lowered his chin to his chest.
"So I'll go now and I'll be back.."
"Then I'll go," Jack said, which made Philip look up. "We've decided to take it in turns to be here.."
"Everything all right?" Philip asked with concern, as he looked at his lover then his brother.
"Fine," Jack said casually. "It's just like I told you before, Phil. I can't be seen here that often.."
The artist nodded and Graham took that as his cue to leave. With pleasantries he grabbed up his coat and umbrella and left the room, leaving Jack and Philip alone.
"Jack," the voice was soft and full of remorse. "I'm sorry."
The older man shook his head as he said, "No, don't."
"I want to be all right with this, believe me!"
"Phil, really! It's nothing to worry about."
"When I asked Janet how you reacted after your healing she said you basically jumped up and carried on as usual.."
Jack bowed his head. Carrying on as usual wasn't quite how he'd put it. He'd helped Cater, Teal'c and the Doc defeat Hathor before he allowed himself to collapse quietly in the privacy of a toilet cubicle, his hands shaking as he tried to come to grips with everything that had happened to him.
"I wish I could do that, for your sake.." the young man mumbled.
Jack sighed as he stepped closer along the bedside. "Look, it wasn't 'that' easy for me.."
Philip raised his face. "It wasn't this hard either, I'll bet!"
Jack shrugged. That was true.
With a little roll of his eyes, Philip forced a smile to his lips as he diverted his eyes towards the middle distance. "I'll try harder.."
"It's not a damn test, Philip.."
"Isn't it?" The patient challenged. "A test of my mental stability?"
Jack shook his head again. "We had the advantage," he explained. "We knew about the technology and the effects it could have before we were subjected to it. This is left field, baby.. You're bound to have some .. problems.."
Philip sighed and put the book on the side table.
"Things won't look as bad once you're up and about. Why don't you shower and change? We can go and get a late breakfast together?" Jack suggested.
Philip frowned. "You think that's wise, Jack?"
The other man shrugged so Philip went on to say, "You were just saying how you can't really be seen here.."
"Doctor's orders. She wants you up and out of that bed."
Philip nodded as he said, silently, "oh."
"I'd like to see you out of that bed too," Jack confessed. Philip's eyes settled upon him for a long moment.
"Okay, I'll shower.."
"And shave?" Jack suggested hopefully.
"Not today.." Philip said quietly as he closed the door. As Jack heard the water start he picked up Phil's book and settled into his chair to read it.
*
Once Graham had returned to the hospital to deliver the extra clothes for Philip he stayed while Jack left. Philip complained of being tired so asked if Graham would mind if he settled quietly on the bed and read his book. The older brother told him he didn't mind in the least then settled in the chair and watched the television. When, at one point, Philip looked up and asked Graham if he'd rather be somewhere else Graham cocked his head to the side as an almost sad smile lit his face. He replied, resolutely, "No. This is doing me fine!" Philip had looked puzzled but Graham didn't have the words to tell him that spending time with him like this, time that involved just doing nothing together - like they did when they lived together - was one of the most precious moments of his life right now.
They'd discussed Jack's attitude for a while as well. Philip admitted to feeling like he was disappointing his partner but Graham dismissed that with a roll of his eyes. Philip stopped talking about it, and Graham let the subject lie.
*
By the time Jack had returned, complete with Phil's telescopic easel, Graham was checking the clock, hoping to make it home in time to shower and dress for the dinner date he'd arranged with Daniel that morning.
"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" Philip teased him.
"Rigoni's.." Graham had said and took delight in not explaining why he was heading out to one of the more romantic restaurants in the city.
"Alone?"
"Good night little brother," Graham chuckled as he reached out and ruffled the black mane.
"You're going on a date!" Philip almost squealed and Jack, who was setting up the easel by the window turned to look over at them. Philip turned to him pleadingly. "Jack, who is he seeing?"
The colonel met the older brother's eyes then turned his mouth down as he shrugged. "How should I know?"
Philip growled and Graham laughed. Jack, on the other hand, found watching the interactions most satisfying. Philip was almost back to his old self again and that - Jack hoped - would help settle his sub-conscious tonight.
With great frustration Philip was left not knowing the identity of Graham's dinner companion, a situation he bemoaned at regular intervals about to his partner. Jack finally settled himself into the chair and held his arms wide as he asked, "What makes you think he's going on a date?"
Jack casually flicked through one of the dog-eared magazines that were left lying around the room when they first arrived.
"Rigoni's! Jack! It's like THE place to go.."
"Maybe he's going to get picked up instead?"
Philip's mouth formed an 'Oh' shape then he screwed his nose up and shook his head. "No, not likely. Graham's not really into that kind of thing.."
Jack arched his brow but didn't shift his eyes from the page. "How do you know?"
Philip chewed his bottom lip as he frowned and considered that comment. "Do you know who it is?"
"Like I told you and he told you.. maybe there isn't someone? Maybe he's just going there to enjoy the food and the ambience.."
"Arg! No, he can't! He has to be on a date.."
"Oh, for crying out loud!" Jack said with amused frustration as he slammed the magazine closed. He tossed it onto the table as he got to his feet and leaned down onto the edge of the bed. "You are driving me crazy.."
"Then tell me...!" Philip pleaded.
Jack laughed as his eyes scanned the dark eyes. "You want me to make something up?"
Philips eyes narrowed menacingly. "If I didn't love you so much.." His sentence ended abruptly as the door opened and Sam peered in.
"Hello.. Not interrupting, am I?"
"Sam!" Philip greeted her enthusiastically. The Major crossed to the bed, shooting a quick hello at Jack as she past him.
"How is everything going?" She asked the patient.
"Body's going well.. Mind's playing catch up.."
She smiled brightly as she nodded. "Tends to do that." She looked awkwardly at the small wrapped basket in her hand as she passed it over. "I didn't really know what to get you .. so I hope it's okay."
Philip took the present and said, "You didn't have to get me anything!"
She scoffed that away with a wave of her hand and a soft laugh then smiled at Jack as she watched the young man tear the wrapper away.
"Oh wow! Sam.. this is wonderful!" He said, scooping out the box of charcoals, tubes of oils and brushes from the basket.
"I knew the Colonel was bringing you in some stuff so I thought I'd add to it.." She said, succumbing to the hug Philip now gave her. "Wow.. you've got some strength back!" She said, lifting her eyes to take in the smiling, older man who was standing by the other side of the bed. Jack's eyes settled on her and he said it all in one look; Thanks!
Sam pulled back and looked at the artist's happy face. "So they're the right things?"
"Yes!" He said gratefully. "Thank you!"
"You know this means that I'll be expecting a sketch at Christmas time.." She joked but noted Jack's concerned look. "Or.. not," she added with a shrug.
Philip hadn't seen Jack's concern, though, and said to her, "Well, if the talent is still there, I'll be more than happy to do something special up for you.. and Janet.."
"Perhaps some nice fruit-in-a-bowl.." Jack suggested below his breath. Philip frowned and looked at him, and so did Sam. Jack met his lover's eyes. "Just not something for their living room!"
Philip realized what Jack was talking about now - the pictures he had in his own living room back at the apartment. With a loud chuckle he said, "Sure.."
Sam, bewildered by the conversation, gave a soft, unsure laugh as she shrugged and said, "Fruit-in-a-bowl sounds fine to me."
Philip laughed again and said to her, "No, it's fine. It's just a private joke between Jack and myself... I'll do you up something better than fruit-in-a-bowl, don't worry!"
"Ugh, sure," she said.
Jack lifted his chin slightly as he looked across the bed towards the major. "How did things go today?"
She shrugged. "I ran a few more tests on that mineral we discovered on .. our.. last mission.." She became deliberately cagey as she realized she couldn't say too much in front of Philip. Jack nodded.
"Anything interesting?"
The pretty blonde woman shrugged and said, "Nothing really. Everything tested within expected parameters. We're running a few more ascorbic tests on it tomorrow.."
"And Daniel and Teal'c?"
"Um, well, Daniel was still trying to fathom the secrets to that vase he discovered a while ago. I think he'll enjoy the down time for the next few days - so he can get through that backlog on his desk."
Jack nodded as he muttered, to no one in particular, "Kid likes his rocks.."
"Not sure about that. He seemed in an awful hurry to leave today .."
Jack screwed his face up and held his finger to his lips as she said that. She frowned and became aware of Philip's sudden interest in the conversation.
"Was he going somewhere?" The young man asked, hope eternal in his voice.
Sam plastered a look of subterfuge on her face as she shrugged. "No, not that I'm aware of. I think he needed to hurry home to his fish.."
The disappointment hissed off Phil's lips as he returned his attention to his gift. Sam looked at Jack with a frown - which clearly asked him 'why the secrecy?', but the older man just screwed up his nose slightly, indicating that he couldn't discuss it in front of Philip. Sam nodded, crinkling her nose slightly as she silently said "okay" to him.
"And Teal'c," she announced in a louder voice, "worked with me, most of the day."
"Ah.. good," Jack said, also loudly. A perplexed look marred Phil's handsome face as he looked up then guardedly looked between the two of them who seemed at pains to act 'normal'. With a little shake of his head he returned his attention to the bristles on the brush he was now inspecting leaving Sam and Jack to carry on their conversation.
<End of part 77>
Stories on this page are the property of Nessessitee and Slida. Please do not copy these without the written permission of the Author. All Rights are acknowledged for MGM, Gekko and Stargate Productions as to the Copyrights of the characters within this story and no infringement on the copyrights are intended. For the Bombshells Series the character of Philip Simmons is entirely the creation and intellectual property of Nessessitee and Slida.
While the performances given by RDA and MS help to fuel the author's desire to write for their characters in a niche that she feels is present on the actual show, the portrayal of their characters in loving relationships in no way reflects the Author's opinion of the men's private life, nor should it be construed in that manner.