Part 83
"Hello," the younger man said once the door closed behind Jack.
"I wasn't sure if I should have brought anything with me.." Hammond started to say as he looked around the room and saw that there were no flowers, cards or usual items that a convalescing person had in their hospital room. His eyes fell upon the blue balloon on the shelf up on the wall beside the bed though and he wondered about it until Philip's next words drew his attention back to the conversation.
"I think you've done enough, really," the young man was saying as he got up off the bed and stood, eye-to-eye, with him. Hammond looked over the friendly face and mentally noted how young the boy was.
By his reckoning Philip Simmons would be at least twenty years Jack's junior. At least! He wasn't expecting anyone nearly as good looking either. Not that he didn't imagine that Jack O'Neill could attract a decent looking partner, but this young man - with his loose curls framing his fresh handsome face - pink lips pulled back into a perfect smile over white teeth - dark eyes that shimmered in the harsh hospital lighting, he just seemed a little 'prettier' than he'd imagine Jack's partner to be. Perhaps he was expecting someone more like Graham Simmons, more military, with short hair and a smart, crisp appearance rather than the sloppy long-sleeved-black-teeshirt-and-the-snugfitting-black-jeans that stood before him.
"I'm pleased to see we didn't leave it too late," he finally drawled out in his thick, Texan accent.
Philip smiled broadly. "Gads, I love your accent!"
Hammond was a little taken aback by the announcement, then he smiled and bowed his head as he said, "Why, thank you, son."
Philip seemed to remember his manners and he held his hand out, indicating to the chair that Jack had recently vacated. The older man went over and sat in the armchair while Philip dragged across a straight-backed chair and sat facing his visitor. Hammond could see the picture a little more clearly now.
"Is this your handiwork?"
Philip's eyes softened as he viewed his artwork. "Yes," he said as he turned his face to look back at Hammond. 'It's the mountain, from my window."
"I can see that. A very good likeness as well."
Philip bowed his head and shifted his feet so that his knees were apart more. He leaned his elbows onto his thighs and laced his hands together. Arching his throat up he could now meet the small, blue eyes.
"I'm sure you didn't come to discuss my artist abilities though."
The older man smiled cagily. "You're right about that," he said. Philip nodded but said nothing. Hammond continued, "So how is everything going? I believe you're due to leave in a few days?"
"Ah yeah," Phil said then shrugged as he looked at his hands. "Soon.. ish.. Maybe today."
In a paternal tone Hammond said, "Doctor Frasier tells me you're having a few problems adjusting, is that correct?"
At first Philip was flabbergasted, wanting to question the Doctor/Patient confidentiality but instead he returned the intense gaze and nodded. "It's a lot.. to take in.."
Hammond nodded then paused to collect his words again before saying, "Are you getting counseling?"
"Yeah-" Philip squirmed on the chair then he added, "Sometimes I wonder which one of us I’m doing it for though, me or Jack?"
"Why's that?"
Philip rolled his eyes then straightened out one leg and rubbed his hand over his thigh as he spoke; "I think he expected me to react like he and Daniel did when this kind of thing happened to them. To bounce back, and to just accept that my life has been altered beyond words or comprehension."
"But you can't..?" It was almost as much a question than it was a statement.
As he shook his head, Phil's curls bounced by his temples. "I don't understand any of this. I'm an intelligent man, General Hammond, but none of this makes any sense to me, not really. I know what Jack and the other's have told me, and that's fine - I accept that, but I don't understand how they took it so much in their stride when it first happened to them."
"Just how much do you know about everything that happened to you a few days ago?" Hammond asked as he shifted in his seat.
"Other than Major Carter used some kind of secret technology on me to heal my disease... Not a lot. Jack reassured me by telling me that it had been used on him and Daniel as far back as a few years ago, and that they are fine as far as side effects go."
"Did they happen to tell you where we got the technology from?"
Philip pursed his lips and shook his head. "I'm guessing it's Russian.."
A faint smile twitched at the older man's lips but he didn't get the chance to say anything before Philip continued, "He's sworn me to secrecy.."
The ruddy face slip with a grin that, to someone who knew him, would scream out that he was about to play Devil’s Advocate for a while. Philip, though, didn’t know him.
Waving his hands slightly as he spoke, Hammond said, “I'm sure you can be trusted, but surely the temptation is there - to explain to others just how you, well, got better?"
"No."
With a friendly, but pointed laugh, Hammond said, as he continued to wave his hands around to accentuate his words, "You're not even the slightest bit tempted to tell other's how all this came about? How you were plucked from the brink of the abyss .. just as.."
Philip held up his hand and cut off the other man's next words. "I'm not excited about discussing how ill I'd become, or the hell I made of Jack's life towards the end or just how close I came to death - which is what you're so politely trying to avoid mentioning here. I'm having nightmares because of it all. I'm unable to sleep properly and things are happening to my body that neither I, nor Doctor Frasier, are able to explain.."
"Things like what, may I ask?"
"Like this.." Phil raised the sleeve of his shirt and showed off the finely chiselled arm. As he rolled his arm over for a better look the long, lean limbs rippled with movement, showing off a layer of fine muscle beneath the surface.
Hammond looked at it closely then sat back and shook his head. "I don't see anything.. It looks perfectly normal to me?"
"Exactly," Philip said, lowering the sleeve once more. "Three days ago that arm was covered in brown lesions and it was nothing but bone and sinews..."
"I see-"
"No, I don't think you do, but that's okay because I'm not sure I see either. My muscles seem to be rejuvenating themselves. Janet tells me that the device used might be accelerating the muscle regrowth but - well, I just can't see what kind of technology we could possibly come up with that can do all this to a human body.."
Hammond studied the intelligent man closely.
"I mean, I'm able to see again - I was going blind, for crying out loud! My cancer is gone and - in all likelihood - so has my AIDS. How the hell am I meant to tell people something like this without expecting them to lock me away.."
"You're walking proof though," Hammond said, resuming his role as the Devil’s Advocate. "Surely you're anxious to let your parents know about your renewed state of health."
Phil's face grew hard. "My parents think I'm dead. Right now, I'm willing to leave it that way."
Confusion lit the older man's eyes but he refrained from asking the questions on his lips. "So there's no one you want to tell? No one you want to let know about this .. well…*miracle*?"
"Look, I know what you're getting at here and the answer is No. I won't be taking an advertisement in the local paper and I'm not thinking of selling my story to the press, okay?"
"Something like this could set you up for life - surely you've thought about that?" Hammond said.
"I don't need money, believe me," Philip snorted. "But that's not the reason I'm not running to the Rags.."
"Mind if I ask what is then?"
Philip eyed the older man carefully then he sighed and sat back in his seat. As he folded his arms over his chest he said, "I'm unwilling to explain something I know nothing about." Phil rubbed his arms as a chill shivered down his spine. "To be honest, the whole thing scares the shit out of me. Whatever was used on me had better have been tried and tested!"
The older man nodded slowly. "I understand your fears."
"Do you? Then explain them to me!" He said sharply then looked at the small blue eyes, shook his head and muttered, "Sorry."
"Believe me, I can understand how it feels to witness things you cannot explain."
Philip looked back at him and saw the truth in his eyes. With a demure nod he conceded that point.
"So I don't think I need to point out to you just how important keeping this information to yourself will be. You may never discuss it with anyone - ever!"
Philip nodded. "I understand that." Then his eyes went wide and he said, "Unless you mean not even Jack and Daniel and.."
Hammond held up his hand. "No, son. I expect you'll discuss it with them."
//And, he continued on in his own mind, I expect that they will never tell you the full truth//
"Good," Philip nodded as he rubbed his hands together and sat forward once more, resting his elbows onto his thighs.
"But that will be all. You can't even discuss this with the staff here at the hospital."
"I gathered that much already," Philip said quietly.
“The lives of many people would be placed at risk - should you fail to keep this information within the strictest confidence...." Hammond said, catching Phil's gaze and holding it a moment before he continued, "Yours.. and Colonel O'Neill's.."
Phil's dark eyes narrowed then he stammered out in a soft, slow voice, "Are you threatening me?"
"No, Son," Hammond said, breaking into an almost paternal kind of smile. "I'm merely pointing out.."
"Because, you know, you really don't need to threaten me," Philip told him firmly. "I'm not some airhead, General, and I do understand Confidentiality."
"I'm very pleased to hear that," Hammond said.
Philip's hand came up in a silencing gesture. "What's more, and I'm not sure how hard this will be for you to hear, but quite frankly I don't care at the moment-" He sucked back a deep breath then said, "I happen to love Jack.. There's nothing in this world that could make me do or say a damn thing that would jeopardize his career or - more especially - his life!"
Throughout his speech he held Hammond's gaze without blinking. He drew breath and tried to gauge what kind of damage he may have done to the conversation, or Jack's career (ironically), but the general remained seemingly unmoved by the passionate outburst. Quietly the older man lowered his head and looked at the gold band around his finger as he nodded wordlessly.
"I see you're a married man.." Philip said, lowering his voice to a gentler tone.
"Was," Hammond said as he looked at him again. "My wife died many years ago."
Again, Philip held the gaze for a few heartbeats then he said, without diverting his eyes, "I guess you loved her very much."
The older man nodded. "Yes, I did. I still do.."
Still in his gentle tone, he said, "You know what it's like to be in love then. Would you have done one single thing against her wishes - if you knew you had the power not to?&"
Hammond gave a slight shake of his head.
"Then why the hell would you expect me to ever do or say anything that would anger Jack, or risk his life or his career? Do you think so little of the relationship we share?"
"No, I don't.."
"Do you think it's not the same as the kind you shared with your wife just because Jack and I both stand when we go to the bathroom?"
"No, Son," Hammond said, with a bewildered scoff of a laugh, unprepared for the passionate outburst and realizing just what a handful this young man must be for Jack.
Philip sensed this then stopped his tirade and looked at him. With a roll of his eyes he groaned then slapped a hand over his forehead as he said, "I'm sorry. I just.. I get quite passionate about some things."
"So I see," Hammond said, his face softened by another kindly smile.
"So many times I'm faced with the reaction that being gay means you never *really* fall in love or want to spend your life with the person you're with." The younger man inhaled a shaky breath then he shivered angrily before he continued to say, "And that pisses me off, no end."
Hammond chuckled quietly then shook his head. "I can see that Colonel O'Neill must have his hands full with you."
Philip laughed and muttered, "I drive him nuts sometimes, I guess."
The older man nodded. "I'm sure you do, son."
"Yeah," Philip took in a deep breath now and blew it out harshly. "Look, I'm really sorry - for my outburst. Especially after everything you’ve done..” He dipped his eyes for a moment then looked to Hammond from beneath long, black lashes. “I know you probably can't condone a relationship like the one Jack and I share.. and I'm not even sure how you personally feel about us.."
"Personally I have no opinion on your relationship.."
With a sharp nod, Phil said, "But professionally you can not be seen to perpetuate a gay relationship, I'm sure. My rant was inappropriate - especially as you’re Jack's C.O..."
"Let me tell you something, Mr Simmons. You're right, of course. I can't be seen to be helping a homosexual relationship along. I could lose my position at work and Colonel O'Neill would most certainly lose his position as well. And we have some rather distasteful young officers within the mountain who would make damn sure your lives were not peaceful ones so long as you stayed in Colorado Springs..."
Philip nodded. He knew too well the hatred that still existed towards gay couples. While there were pockets of society and decent people who had the intelligence to not judge others by how they made love, Philip was painfully aware of the ones that would hunt them down, threaten, or even physically abuse them, merely because they loved someone of their same sex. As much as he respected Jack's strength and ability to protect them both, he knew that his lover would be no match for someone waiting behind a wall or bush with a baseball bat or, worse, a gun.
He hung his head a moment then asked, "So why 'did' you do it?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Save me? Why did you save me? I'm sure it had nothing to do with wanting to keep us together.."
Hammond held the gaze as he said, “I wish I could say I did it purely because Jack’s a friend of mine..”
“But it’s not that simple. I’m sure that technology is meant to be Top Secret and not to be used on civilians..”
Hammond nodded. “Colonel O’Neill is very important to the Program..”
“And that’s all?”
“That’s enough son,” Hammond told him honestly. “Especially when the person you take your orders from tells you to do all you can to keep the renegade but damn fine officer on side..”
Philip nodded and Hammond could tell he didn’t have a clue as to whom the General was talking about. He cocked his head and said, “You don’t know who I get my orders from, do you?”
Philip’s brow lifted slightly. “Should I?”
Hammond shook his head. “No, I guess not.” He sighed then said, “Needless to say the Colonel is an asset to the department and one that we thought long and hard about keeping..”
“Therefore you saved me,” Philip commented as he lowered his head. Hammond looked over the curls then shifted his gaze out of the window. “And now he owes you – big time.”
That comment brought the General’s attention back onto the handsome young face. With another arch of his brow, Philip said, a little glumly, “Doesn’t he?”
Hammond sensed the sadness and shifted in his seat as he said, “Son, I didn’t do this to indebted him to the US Air Force. Colonel O’Neill is free to go whenever he wants to..”
And ironic sneer came across Philip’s face. “I think we both know Jack better than that.”
Hammond respected the young man’s tenacity. “I didn’t do it to buy his soul.” He gave a heavy sigh then added, “Maybe I did it to buy him peace of mind.”
“Or you?”
“Not me, son,” Hammond said frankly.
Philip nodded then lowered his face again as he said, “Well, Thank you. I really mean that.”
Hammond gave a soft groan and Philip looked up at him once more. Leaning into the conversation the older man confessed, “Jack’s been a good friend to me over the past few years. He keeps things pretty much to his chest. If I’d known about you – and your situation earlier.. I .. well I guess I’m saying sorry. Sorry that you had to go through so much before we.. “ He held his hands up in placation.
“You’ve nothing to apologize for and you’ve nothing to be worried about, as far as I’m concerned,” the artist told him honestly. “I love Jack.” His mouth twitched with his smile then he bowed his head and sighed. Lifting his face, he said, “I’ll never hurt him.”
Hammond looked at him, and then looked him over, before he finally said, “I’m glad we had this opportunity to talk.”
“Likewise, General.” He nodded then rubbed his hands on his thighs. When he saw the other man get to his feet he got up as well. Together they walked slowly towards the door.
“You’ll be out today, did you say?”
“Ah, well, I’m still waiting on some blood tests,” Philip said hesitantly. “Maybe in the next few days.”
Hammond nodded. “I’m sure you’ll both be looking forward to that.”
With a shy smile and dip of his face Philip commented, “Without doubt.”
He reached for the handle and yanked the door open. As they stepped into the corridor Jack and Graham got to their feet and looked at them, both looked puzzled and curious to know what had happened behind the closed door. Philip and Hammond stood side-by-side at the same height. That’s where the similarities ended though, as the ruddy red-faced, bald man shook hands with the thin, long-haired dark young man and wished him well in his future. Hammond then turned his attention to the Colonel.
“Colonel when you have a few moments, I’d like to see you in my office.”
“Ah,” Jack said with a nod as he rocked on his heels and dug his hands into his pants pockets. “I guess I could come by.. today?” He said, as he shot a glance at his lover, who shrugged. “Say 3?”
Hammond nodded. “Fifteen-hundred it is, Jack.” He then turned his attention to Graham. “I have an appointment with you later?”
“Fourteen-Hundred,” Graham reminded him. The General checked his watch then lowered his arm to his side.
“Gentlemen,” he nodded at each in turn then headed down the corridor. Jack and Graham turned their attention to Philip.
“And that was about…?” Jack asked as he followed Philip back into the hospital room.
“It seemed to go well,” Graham said.
“I guess,” Philip said as he went to the chair he’d been sitting in, swung it around and straddled the back of it. He folded his arms along the back of it and lowered his chin onto them.
“So, out with it, what did he want?”
“Basically he wanted me to realize that if I was to talk about what’s happened to me in the past few days that things could be dangerous for people I know.. People.. I love..” He met Jack’s puzzled frown.
“He threatened you?” Graham asked.
Jack’s eyes narrowed as he held Philip’s gaze. Slowly he shook his head and asked, darkly, “Did he threaten you?”
Philip shrugged then gripped the top of the seat as he leaned back. “He was polite, but his point was made.”
Jack stiffened and Philip reached out and gripped him by the forearm. “Don’t go Alpha on me, hun,” he said. “The general was just protecting his own.”
“By threatening you?”
“By reminding me that lives were at stake if I decided to increase my wealth and take this to the papers or the media. To be honest, I can see why he came and said what he said, but that didn’t stop me from biting back at him.”
Jack groaned and flopped into the armchair. He reached forward and held Phil’s hands. “What did you say?”
Graham stepped a little closer too. Philip looked between him and his lover.
“I told him that I understood that he might be concerned but that I loved you and there wasn’t a damn thing I’d do to destroy what we have.” He squeezed Jack’s hands and got a squeeze in return.
“You told the General that you loved Jack..?” Graham asked, almost breathlessly. Philip tilted his face up.
“Yes.” He looked back at his concerned partner. “He spoke briefly about his wife..” Jack nodded then squeezed his hands again as a faint smile curled the corners of his mouth. “And I basically told him that just because you and I stand up when we go to the bathroom, it didn’t mean that our relationship was any less real than the one he shared with his wife..”
Graham growled quietly as he ran his hand through his hair and looked at Jack, but the colonel was staring at his lover with deep admiration. “I almost said a similar thing to him myself,” Jack told Philip. The artist smiled.
“You did? When?”
Jack’s face darkened a little then he said, “It’s not important, it was before..”
Philip nodded and lifted Jack’s hand to kiss the back of it. They entwined fingers then Philip brushed their fingers over his lips.
“Maybe I ought to get going,” Graham said as he backed up. The two lovers looked up at him and smiled.
“Where are you going?” Philip asked, but his attention was still with Jack, as their hands gently stroked together.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” Graham said, not telling him where he was going.
“Okay,” Jack said, and had already returned his attention to Philip. Graham grabbed his things and left, leaving the two of them to their intimate moment.
<End of Part 83 >
Stories on this page are the property of Nessessitee and Slida. Please do not copy these without the written permission of the Author. All Rights are acknowledged for MGM, Gekko and Stargate Productions as to the Copyrights of the characters within this story and no infringement on the copyrights are intended. For the Bombshells Series the character of Philip Simmons is entirely the creation and intellectual property of Nessessitee and Slida.
While the performances given by RDA and MS help to fuel the author's desire to write for their characters in a niche that she feels is present on the actual show, the portrayal of their characters in loving relationships in no way reflects the Author's opinion of the men's private life, nor should it be construed in that manner.