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One month later

 

We've fallen into a little 'habit' already and I'm really liking it so far. I collect him and take him to Uni and sometimes I bring him home again. No real progress from 'just friends' but between you and me, football has never been so much fun! From the one (and only) game we've played, Daniel thinks I'm an 'aggressive' player.. I can't tell him I just enjoy tackling him to the ground every given moment!

*

I collect him this morning as scheduled and he gets in looking bleary from a cold. I tease him about looking like shit and he laughs before blowing his nose, telling me he feels that way too. I tell him he should be home in bed, but he shrugs and mumbles something about a really important lecture.. or exam.. or something like that!

Besides, he tells me, it's only allergies. I'm not convinced. His voice is thicker, raspier and his nose is red and snuffly. He's got a cold, I tell him. He denies it vehemently and we banter lightly before he gets out at Uni. I don't offer to pick him up and he doesn't expect it. I sometimes wonder if my feelings for him aren't cooling off a little but every time I think that, he smiles or gives me a look that has my heart fluttering like a teenager in love! He gets out, waves and heads off, while I remain watching the way his ass moves in his jeans.

//Oh yeah!// I tell myself.. //I'm *really* cooling off! Not!//

I study my feelings on my way to work. If anything, they've grown but they are a lot different now, too. I'm more comfortable around him than I can ever remember being with anyone, other than my brother- of course, but I grew up with him!

Things between us (Danny and me.. I mean..) are just so comfortable. I'm relaxed around him and it's nice that some of the politeness is out of the way. We both, it seems, are comfortable enough to speak our mind with each other - of course, there's things in my mind that I feel I still can't share with him. It's not deceit - it's survival.

I've chosen the friendship over 'nothing'... It's not heading that way with him so I'd rather settle for where it *is* heading. I've not had a 'close' friend really - in all my years with my company I never really had that. Now, in a few months, I've found a man who not only can I relate to but I find he interests me as well.. I might not understand all he says and he's starting to see that when it happens so he repeats what he's just said to me - in a little more 'lay-man' terms for me. I'm not stupid, and Danny doesn't give me the impression he thinks that I am, especially when he makes me talk about me and my job. If I start getting 'military' on him he gets a vague look in his eyes too, but I just repeat my sentences in 'lay-person' terms and he seems to catch on as well.

We seem to compliment each other .... Go figure!

There's talk on base that some of the military units are moving out. Thankfully mine doesn't seem likely to go, but I'm looking to lose Harrison from D Squad and we've known each other a few years now. That's going to be hard, but since meeting Daniel I've kinda pulled back from that group anyway. All they want to do is go to the pub after work and drink to oblivion. I don't need that at this point in my life. I'm not too sure what I need, but Daniel's a big part of it at the moment. What I'd give to have him to come home to.. to talk to .. just as a friend.. or .. a room.. mate... There's an idea! I'll keep that on the back burner!

*Next Day*

This morning is absolutely beautiful! Blue skies and warm (when you keep out of the wind, that is). From inside the car it feels like a perfect day out there. I pull up and see him trotting down the front steps towards me. He's wearing a plaid shirt tucked into his dark denim jeans. There's a hint of white t-shirt at the neck, too, which I notice as I watch him reach back and throw his bag onto the back seat. We greet each other with enthusiasm, both commenting on the lovely weather. He looks fantastic today - maybe it's because of the dream I had about him last night - his blue eyes, his sun-kissed hair - his *smile*. No trace of cold either - so maybe the Geek was right after all, it was allergies! I give him another sideways glance. No, it's definitely him looking gorgeous today.. not just a figment of my imagination.

I casually tell him it's a sin to waste a day like this and he tilts his head and tells me that he's no sinner.... I'm thinking 'Oh, please! A face like that - it's a sin not to be sinful with a face like that! Carnal Sin - for crying out loud!!' but I shrug as nonchalantly as I can and suggest we take the long way to uni today. He candidly tells me he's not got a lecture until after lunch and I admit to not having my first meeting until after 11 - as it's barely 8 am yet we agree to go on a bit of a drive.

He's a little quiet beside me and when I pull up at the next set of lights I turn to him and ask what's up? He shrugs and says that he's curious why, if neither of us have any where to be - why were we meeting up so damn early? I look at him a long moment and he's looking embarrassed. My heart leaps and I want to say something but the car behind me toots us and I have to drive off. When I look at him he's smiling, like he's still embarrassed. A month ago I'd have pushed him into telling me what's up but now we're at a place where I'm happy to leave him alone. I don't want to rock this boat. The kid's given me no indication that he's interested in me and so I try to keep things in perspective.

Being a gay man (well, basically I am bi-sexual.. but bear with me on this point, okay?) I 'know' why I spoke to him that day all those months ago, but what would he be thinking?

Would he automatically suspect I'm gay and think he's being 'picked up' ? Or would he see me as some 'slightly older' man who has struck up a casual conversation, now friendship, with him? If a woman sits next to another woman on the bus and starts talking, is it automatically assumed it's because they are gay? From my view point it's hard not to think everyone is seeing what's developing between us... but - quite logically - it probably looks quite innocent from the outside. And, sadly, it is...

Sometimes I wonder if he's suspecting something though. I see it in the way he looks at me from under those damn golden lashes of his. Still, if he's okay enough with it not to challenge me on it, I'm not owning up first.

We drive to the top of the lookout and both sit on the hood of my car, our knees drawn up under our chins and our arms wrapped around them as we talk. He tells me he's got exams soon so he has to really get working on his paper. I ask him what he wants to be when he grows up- so far we've discussed his theories and what he studies, but not his ambitions. He chuckles and ducks his face as he admits, with a little coy embarrassment, that he wants to be wealthy.

I don't peg him for a materialistic sort and he agrees, but if he had money he'd be free to do the things he 'really' wanted to do. Like explore and discover new cultures. He tells me he can already speak 18 languages and he's attempting to learn a few more. I'm overwhelmed as I tease him into talking in a few of them. He smiled and rattles off French, German, Latin, Greek, Italian, Egyptian, Polish, Spanish, Catalan, and a lot more I don't recognize at all. I ask him what he said and he shrugs and tells me it was "how are you?" I smile. Cool, I tell him, he can teach me to say that in 18 languages.

He laughs, so shyly as he looks around, not making eye contact. He's disarmingly charming, as one might say. My heart's in my throat again and I'm dying to touch him, but I can't. I ask him to say something else and he looks out across the view before us muttering, "Ik denk dat ik voor je aan het vallen ben, Jack."

It takes me a long time to get it and I ask what it means. He smiles and tells me it's Dutch for "It's a pleasure to have met you, Jack."

I laugh and tell him I like the sound of that. He shrugs and smiles then turns to me and leans on one arm as he repeats it.. with a soft, silky voice. (Damn, is it me or does listening to another language, being uttered from delectable lips, just curl everyone's toes?). In a few more languages he says,

"Ich fange an mich in dich zu verlieben, Jack.."

"Je pense que je deviens tomber amoureux de toi, Jack."

"Creo que me estoy colgando de tí, Jack"

"Crec que m'estic penjant de tu, Jack"

"Minä taidan olla rakastumassa sinuun, Jack."

"Jag tror att jag håller på attbli förälskad i dig, Jack"

" Jeg tror jeg er ved at blive forelsket i dig, Jack"

He stops suddenly, laughing softly as he ducks his face. I think he thinks he's showed off a bit, but he hasn't - I've been mesmerized listening to him.

I tell him I like the last one (I don't tell him it's because it sounded a little like he said 'I dig Jack' which is something I could get used to!) and he tells me it's Danish. I ask what were the other ones and he rattles them off like a shopping list: Swedish, Finnish, Catalan, Spanish, French, German and Dutch -but not in that order!

Then he tells me his Grandfather, 'Nick' - he called him, is Dutch and is an explorer. I ask him if that's where he got the bug to dig up old stuff from and he laughs gently, telling me his parents were both archaeologists, and that, sadly, they died in an accident in the New York Museum of Natural History when he was only eight. So I figure it's a familial things - they all had a fascination for digging through dirt. He laughs again, so shyly, his face is tinged pink from the warm sun and his lips look moist as he's just swiped at them again with his little tongue.

I decide we need to get moving or I might be tempted to reach across and kiss him. I'm serious here! The way I feel right now, I'm so mellow I could just do that too. He's got this softness about his eyes that I don't recognize but to be honest, I can't even be sure it's really there. It's probably just me!

I roll off the hood of my car and I tell him he can drive next if he wants. He confesses that he doesn't know how to drive. I'm surprised but he explains that he had no one to teach him. I toss him my keys and tell him to take the wheel. He's sure he's going to kill us, but I'm confident that he won't.

We play hooky, the two of us, and we spend the rest of the day in the pursuit of knowledge. Danny learns the basics for driving my car and I'm able to say "It's a pleasure to have met you, Jack," in a few new languages. By the time we go back to his place we're both so damn happy that he automatically invites me up to his apartment.

Daniel seems to make a lot of noise opening the front door and I wonder why until we actually get in there. There's a good looking boy, standing in the living room now, looking a little ruffled. Immediately I feel possessive of Daniel - even though I have absolutely no rights to - and wonder about the extent of this 'house-sharing'.

My fears are laid to rest when a pretty girl, with long blond hair and a golden tan, exits a room still adjusting her top. Daniel shoots me a quick glance then goes over to his house-mate. He towers over the dark-skinned boy as he bows his head and the two good-looking men talk in hushed tones. I'm not introduced to him, but I do give a sort of acknowledging nod as his dark eyes cast in my direction during the conversation. While still talking and without looking, the boy raises his hand and slips it around the shoulders of the petite girl beside him, before saying one last thing to Daniel. Then he starts to look around - he's lifting cushions off the sofa, and moving items on the shelves. Daniel looks a little dismayed as he watches him search the room then, rolling his eyes, he finally goes over to a pot and pulls out a clump of keys, jangling them to get the other boy's attention. There's a grateful sigh from the youth and a pat on the shoulder for Daniel before he reaches back and grips the hand of the silent girlfriend. Passing us, they say nothing but he does give a faint smile. I'm watching him go - truth be known, I'm watching his 'butt' go (Oh god! What beast within me has my desires for Daniel released?) when I hear Daniel call after him, "You don't have to go...!"

He doesn't reply, just raises his hand in the air and waves it over his head. I hear Daniel's sigh as I watch the neat rump until the door shuts off my view. I turn and I notice a certain perplexed look in Daniel's eyes now and I wonder what the problem is - and if that look is aimed at me or him.

"That was Justin," he tells me in a weary tone, "My house mate." I nod. It was obvious but he seems to be a little flustered by the encounter and gives an embarrassed smile as he tells me, "they want to be alone, I think." He dips his face and I'm suddenly unsure why he's so embarrassed.

"Young love," I quip, my way of helping the conversation. Daniel snorts then looks up and I'm glad to see his smile again.

"Yeah," he says then grins more. He starts to look around for something and I'm not sure what it is, so I just stand and watch him. He seems to find it under a sofa cushion, whatever it is, and then goes to the kitchen. I follow him and he asks "You ever been in love?" as he buries his head in the fridge. He pulls out two bottles and stands them on the counter. With his foot, he shuts the door as he listens to my response.

"No.."

He faces me and a frown mars his gorgeous face. "Never?"

I shrug then reach for the beer he's forgotten to hand over to me. I look up into his eyes and they seem to dart from my view. I wonder why and I begin to wonder what my confession has just revealed to him.

A small smile, probably designed to soften the interrogation, plays on his lips now as he comments, "Never 'fallen' for anyone? Love at first sight stuff?"

"You writing a paper on this?" I tease him and he blushes, just as I'd expect.

But he laughs good-naturedly as he tells me, "no," most definitely. I watch his shy smile then grin to myself. He's just way too damn cute!

"Love at first sight, huh?" I pick up the conversation again. "Well, yeah, who doesn't? But it never seems to go far, never to the stage of 'falling for them', as you call it." Hell, that part's a lie, but he doesn't need to know that.

He nods like a kid of his age could understand this stuff! Because he doesn't interject with stories of his own I'm led to believe he hadn't 'fallen' yet either. With that cute nose of his always stuck in a book, was there any wonder why he hasn't?

Continuing our conversation as we head to the sofa, I comment casually, "I've had a few cases of 'extreme like' though.." He stops walking in front of me and turns to look over his shoulder at me now, a bemused smile wrinkles his face.

"Extreme like?" He chuckles then moves to the sofa to sit down. I give a shrug. Hey, I had it now, but he'll never know!

"So, tell me, Danny boy," I say, settling myself into a deceptively uncomfortable arm chair, "You ever had a girlfriend?"

I wanted to utilize this conversation, gleam what I could from it so I deliberately used the term Girlfriend and not lover or partner - they were too general.. too broad...

"Yes."

The word stalls all my thoughts and I pull up faster than a horse on the edge of a canyon. "Wh... What?"

He smiles and tilts his head slightly as he tells me, again, "yes, I've had a girlfriend. In fact," he adds with a certain glee, "she was an older woman!" He laughs now as he sees my dumb-struck face.

I pull myself together quickly as I say, flippantly as I can, "Oh, a little Mrs. Robinson thing going on there?"

He crinkles up his nose as he dips his face while he chuckles softly to himself. "Something like that," he says through a laughter-groan then he looks up at me - his blue eyes flashing and I'm suddenly breathless again!

A silence grew around us quickly so I, in my usual briskness, I decide to end it sooner, rather than later. "So, we know you like your women older," I try to make it sound like a tease and it must as he blushes and looks down again, "how about your pizzas?"

Daniel's face took on an earnest expression as he ponders that thought. "Fresh... and with the lot?"

I nod and agree to that as well and while he's off placing the order I'm left to wonder about 'Mrs. Robinson'.

I visualize her a lot older than him, in her thirties, a husband at home that doesn't understand her, and children! She'd have a body that defied her age, of course! How could they have met? Was she a family friend or a fellow student? And what did she teach him? My mind imagines him in bed with her, arms and legs entangled, on black satin sheets. She have some class, I decide, and lots of money. Maybe he helped tutor her daughter or son at Uni. and they met through that? When Daniel finally returns I see he has a soft drink in his hand now. He doesn't make a show of pushing his beer aside, but the fact that it stays there, all night untouched, tells me that I have no hope of ever getting him drunk and introducing him to 'another' form of love - or the prospect of an older 'man'. Maybe he's into weed instead, I tell myself as I drain my bottle dry.

The night passes pleasantly enough but the whole revelation about him and his older woman has tainted it a little for me. When I look at him now, I can see him with a woman, kissing a woman and making love to a woman. My heart sinks just that little bit when I let myself realize that he doesn't see me that way at all!

*Next Day*

I pick him up as scheduled and as I drop him at the café he tells me he's got a lecture at 1 pm and another at three today. I tell him I can swing by at six and collect him if he wants? He's a little hesitant and I begin to wonder why, then he suddenly nods and smiles and tells me he'll meet me here at six. I watch him walk away again and wonder if he knows I'm perving at him, or if he did know, would he care?

I have a meeting in the afternoon after lunch, it's a pretty regular occurrence. In fact, most of my day is taken up with meetings and training and work outs...

On my way to this meeting, which is one of our regular Unit meetings, I run into Gustov in the corridor. He's been a friend of mine for many years now, but I hardly know the guy. Proves the point I was saying the other day. I *know* Daniel - I don't know any of these guys... I might trust them with my life, but not my thoughts, feelings or aspirations. Not sure I fully trust Danny with those yet either though, but he's a lot closer in a few months than these men in many years.

I tell Gustov that I learned a bit of his native tongue yesterday and he laughs at my attempt to repeat it for him (hey, I'm working from memory here, I don't think it's that bad!). I silently marvel at Daniel for a second. That kid knows 18 different languages and here's me having trouble recalling one lousy sentence in one different language.

What I say, though, must be passable as when I finish Gustov gives me a devilish grin and nudges me with his beefy forearm, asking me who had said that to me. There's something in his leering tone that makes me curiously cautious, so all I tell him is is that it was just 'someone' I'd met on the bus.

He grins again and nods and asks me if it was Sara. You see, I'd made the mistake of telling him and a few others about the date Sara and I had planned. That following Monday I put up with endless questions alluding to how 'well' I'd made out with her, but, like the true gentleman that I am, I told them nothing. Of course, that was because there was nothing to tell them, but they don't know that!

As we weave our way through the building Gustov is now telling me, through his goofy laugh, that I was one lucky dog! That I was 'in' there. In where? I suddenly realize that I've lost this conversation along the way, obviously! All Danny said was it was a pleasure to have met me...? I query him, asking him why he's being a dumb-ass and he laughs uproariously as he nudges me again.

"You and this girl...."

I'm frowning so much I'm sure I've created a dent between my eyebrows that will never fade away.

"What about me and this girl?" I ask, my curiosity now at it's peak. He's leering a little as he asks me what I think it's meant to mean. Obviously, by the look on my face he's picked up that I'm lost in this conversation (Astute guy, this Gustov!). I tell him I was told it meant "it's a pleasure to have met you, Jack."

We reach the door of the meeting room and Gustov shakes his head as his thick hand wrenches a door open. With a grin that just won't quit, he waves his hand out in a mock invitation for me to go first then he sits beside me and tells me that what I'd just said did NOT mean that at all.

I'm suddenly unnerved to think that Daniel might have lied to me - or at least, played me for the fool. What the hell did this kid say to me, while I lay there, probably smiling at him like some idiot!! For a frightening moment, the mere thought of what it might mean makes the skin on my shoulders and up the back of my neck prickle uncomfortably.

I realize I'm shaking a little now as I say, testily, "For crying out loud! Just tell me what it means!"

The big oaf just opens his hands, lifting his palms to the ceiling as he shrugs - that stupid grin still there. Well, I'm glad he's finding this so damn funny - at my expense! I swear, I think I might hit him, really *hit* him, soon if he doesn't stop laughing and joking with me and tell me what the damn kid said!

What the hell does that line, however you pronounce it now, mean? That I was some kind of idiot? That he secretly thought I was a lecherous old fool? Oh Christ! My whole 'safe little world' - built around him, is suddenly shaky. What the hell did Daniel say to me - in a language I was never meant to understand...?

"They say they are falling for you!" Gustov's voice comes filtering through my rage, slicing though my haze like a hot knife in butter.

I say, "Huh?" and he chortles and nods and tells me, "told you it was good! Is she pretty?" He stops teasing me when he sees the look in my eyes. He grows serious and leans towards me as he tells me:

"Okay, because I can see you're about to break me if I do not tell you straight, the *exact* thing she said to you was... 'I think I'm falling for you, Jack'."

He concluded it with a huge shrug then a wicked grin and wink.

/Falling for me?/

"What? Jog tror jig er ved at bive...?" I'm trying to recall how to pronounce it but my mind's suddenly gone blank.

"No," he corrects me, "'Jeg tror jeg er ved at blive forelsket i dig, Jack'. It means, I think I'm falling for you, Jack."

I seem to stumble to my feet as I make my way to the door. I turn and tell him to cover for me for the rest of the day. He laughs, waves his hand over his head and nods, sending me on my way. I'm gone. I'm outta there!

*

I run to the car. Breathlessly I climb in, slamming it into gear before screaming out of the parking lot, spraying up gravel in my wake. I'm muttering the words over and over in my mind like it's some kind of mantra for me.

Before I know it I'm at the Uni again and I leave the car in a Loading Zone. I'm only going to be a few minutes - I think! He said he had a lecture at 3 and it was almost that now! I try to locate the lecture hall from memory. On that first night when I came and met him here he gave me the short scenic tour, showing me such landmarks as the men's bathroom, the locker wall and his locker (which he refused to open when I was with him), the library and two of the main places he has his lectures. I'm taking pot luck here.

Blind luck (or was it the fickled hand of fate?) guided me to the right hall without letting me put one foot wrong. A small group remain outside the doors, socializing together so I slow down as I approach them and push through their group to go in.

The room slants away from me like it does in any Lecture hall - an amphitheater around the stage where the lecturer stands- spouting all his wisdom to the eager young minds willing to listen. I hate them. Lecture halls, that is.

I look around it quickly and I spot him, almost center, sitting alone. I shimmy along the row behind him which is - thankfully - empty. He's preoccupied with his text books, noting frantically and referring to more than one text book at the same time. I reach the spot behind him and I still haven't made up my mind how I'm going to do this. We are in public, after all! And I'm mindful of the fact that other language students might be around.

So how do I do this? Do I fling myself over the chairs and sit, oh-so-casually beside him? Nah, I'd trip and roll down the next few rows, making a total ass of myself. Do I reach over, slamming my hand onto his text books and demanding his attention? No, too stupid and too loud. Sure to draw attention to us!

He's not even aware I'm behind him, his hand glides over the page, leaving behind a trail of near-perfect handwriting. He looks up now and sees the lecturer has entered the room down there, and that the lecture is due to start soon. I know my time is short now! I lean over and whisper, very quietly in his ear;

"Jeg tror jeg er ved at blive forelsket i dig, Daniel."

He's startled and he snaps his face around to look at me. It takes a moment then he settles into a smile and he asks me, casually, what I'm doing there. The lecturer coughs and bows his head - he's about to start the lecture so I give Daniel a 'look' and leave the hall.

I leave him, I'm sure, scurrying to fill his bag because in almost the same time it takes for me to get out of there, he's out of there too, bag clutched feverishly to his chest, books spilling through the unclosed zipper. His eyes are wide, and his hair is ruffled while his glasses perch precariously on the tip of his nose as he stares at me over the top rim of them. He mutters my name curiously -softly - and when I look directly into his eyes I can see he sees the truth in them for the first time.

"Jack?" he asks again, this time a little nervousness creeps into his otherwise soft, silky voice. I say nothing but the way his eyes widen just that little bit more, and his mouth drops down just that extra fraction, he's made the truth - he knows that 'I know' I didn't just tell him it was a pleasure to have met him.

He coughs softly and takes a very small step back. Military training's taught me the signs; he's ready for flight! I know I have to stop him before he does!

I draw back a breath and tell him, in a quiet voice that's designed not to startle him or to make him anymore nervous than he already is, "I was talking to a guy at work today, and he translated 'Jeg tror jeg er ved at blive forelsket i dig, Jack' for me, Daniel.. and-"

I watch cautiously as his eyes grow wider. He's not sure if I'm angry or not, I can tell that already. He's not sure *what* I'm feeling and I must say, in my attempt to keep the rising glee from my tone, I might sound a little menacing.

"Oh.. god.." He groans and steps back a fraction again, his face growing pale. I swallow nervously. Christ, I hate that I see fear in his eyes. I try to reach out to touch his arm - just in a friendly way - but he flinches from me. My stomach flips, I'm sure he's about to run now so I lunge forward, gripping him by the upper arm securely. He looks from the hold back up to my eyes and I can read it in his eyes - he's hoping I'll remember that we were once friends...

I lead him from the doorway where people are trying to push pass us. Damn, why does it have to be so public here! Why can't these people go into their damn lectures and leave us on our own to work this through! There's no way I'd make it back to my car dragging him like this, and I don't think he'd listen to some hasty words at the moment. So, instead, I lead him to the furthermost corner from the crowd and I hope it's far enough away to afford us some privacy.

I tilt my head and I look at him - I don't say anything because I don't know what to say... here.. in public like this. By the clenching of his jaw, I'd say the kid's terrified of me at this point. I'm not surprised. I've proved to him on more than one occasion that I'm stronger than he is, and that was when we were being 'friendly'. If he thinks I'm upset with him, what the hell must be racing through his mind right now? Poor kid!

A group of loud students, obviously running late for the lecture, rush up the stairs and glance at us - without judgment in their eyes - but they don't stop in their haste to reach the room before missing out on too much of the lecture.

I watch them go and then I look back at Daniel, whom I'm still holding by the upper arm and who is still clutching his over-flowing bag to his chest like it's some kind of damn shield. I have to admit, he's staring at me like he's a deer caught in my headlights right at this moment.

I take a step towards him and hate that he flinches again. I'm still a respectable distance, even though I have a grasp on him, but perhaps all he sees is the movement forward because he flinches and slams his eyes shut, obviously waiting for the strike.

I decide not to encroach on him further, instead I lean in to whisper, "Jeg tror jeg er ved at blive forelsket i dig, Daniel. "

His head jerks up and he stares at me again, with eyes so large and so disbelieving. Christ, I just want to take him into my arms and hold him, tell him it's okay, that I feel it too.... but not *here*.. not with that small group still by the stairwell over there!

I try to smile to convey my feelings to him, but perhaps it looks more like a grimace because I'm so frustrated with the situation at the moment. He's frowning a little now, and I'm noticing some curiosity in his eyes. I feel myself smile more, and I know it looks more like a smile now as I add, "big time!"

//Please, let him understand this! Let that genius brain of his finally grasp my last straw. //

His mouth drops open again, his hands are gripping the bag in front of him furiously and I can see his breathing has deepened. He looks around us fretfully, but I know no one is within ear shot - or I wouldn't have said it! I smile as he looks back at me. Slowly, quizzically, he tilts his head as his tongue grows restless behind those slightly parted lips, then he swipes his bottom lip as he blinks at me. I smile even more and a twitch of an uncertain smile flitters on his lips for a second before dissolving once more.

"You gonna say something?" I finally ask, my voice, I note, is raspy from suppressed emotions. He blinks as if waking from a trance, and I see his breathing kick in again as he takes his first breath for a few seconds, it seems. He jerkily shakes his head and I can't help but laugh at that response. By the way he's still nervously clutching at his bag to his chest I start to realize that we probably both wish we were somewhere else right about now.

I finally swallow down my residual nervousness as I suggest, as coolly as I can, that maybe we should get out of there. He nods, grips his bag tightly against his chest as he stumbles along behind him to the car. We do not speak.

*

I'm terrified as we approach my apartment.  So's the kid, if the bag still clasped to his chest is any gauge. It must be some kind of security blanket for him - or, perhaps, a shield.   I let him in then deliberately turn to close the door. As I swivel back around I'm about to say, "well, this is awkward!" but the kid glances at me in such a way that I'm silenced from any smart-assed comment.

As if trapped in slow motion I sense his hand going around my head, cupping me carefully, as he steps towards me in one smooth, fluid movement - his lips latching onto mine without fumble or fault. The sudden intake of breath I snagged before he closed the gap is the only reason my mouth is opened enough to accept his tongue as it slips past me. I am numb in the surprise of the unexpected, tender kiss. Daniel and I are kissing! I try to scream that to myself, in an effort to wake me from the daydream I seem to be in.

The kid's tongue dances around mine, licking and teasing at it, tickling itself along the ridge of my hard palate and making me solid in my pants - and I'm standing there, unable to think, breath or act. It's not like me! I'm the one that instigates these things! I'm the one that wraps strong arms around my partner and pushes them against the door.. not him.. Oh god!

But he's doing it! I'm backed against the door and I have no idea how I got here. I recall, dully, a sort of thud and I'm wondering now if it was the sound of my last brain-cells exploding. But as I feel a slightly heavy weight on the top of my foot I realize it was his bag finally hitting the dirt as he grips me strongly with his newly freed hand. My God, his tongue is relentless! He's making soft grunting noises as he presses against me. I can taste his urgency, feel his eagerness and understand his hunger.

I feel his gentle hand cup my left ear as he twists and turns his face across mine, forcing our mouths further open to delve as deeply into me as he can. The image in my mind of how we would look won't leave me alone. This God-like youth entrapping me into submission as he works the kiss - softly, deeply, teasingly.

I realize I'm over analyzing this!

I break the kiss for two reasons: one, I need air and two, I need to see his face, to know this is real, to have him see me - me- and know who he is kissing before we go any further with this. His blue eyes are heavy and hooded with desire and I just fill with an incredible urge to strip him and make love to him all afternoon.

I cup his cheek with a trembling hand. His skin is flushed just enough to highlight his cheekbones and outline his faint golden stubble. A bubble arises in me and lodges itself in my throat, making breathing difficult. I slip his glasses off his face and find a place beside us to nestle them, keeping them safe. He looks at me again, his unshielded eyes look bluer than ever before. His chin lifts slightly, positioning his mouth in perfect line with mine, his parted lips offered up to me. His arms tighten across my back and we manage to pull even closer together.

I stroke a quivering thumb across his cheek and he smiles contentedly at me as he jostles me within his arms for an even closer fit. This is so damn weird! But I can't resist those plump lips any further. I tilt my head slightly to close my mouth over his- again a perfect fit - and we both inhale a deep breath through our nose as our mouths open wider and our tongues clash inside.

We're both eager this time; licking, kissing, nipping and sucking each others lips and tongue, taking it in turn to pleasure the other. He breaks the kiss with little pecks and gentle nips as he tells me, breathlessly, that he needs the bathroom. I nod and led him over there, my arm across his back, as we engage in more kisses. His head is tilted back over my shoulder and that long, delectable throat of his is arched. My hand plays over its smooth surface which makes him shiver and chuckle into my mouth as we kiss. It's a gorgeous sound! Reaching the door he turns to face me and we kiss, like two people saying goodbye forever - neither of us is willing to let go.

He pulls back first again and he rubs his face against my cheek like a cat would. He's almost purring when he tells me he won't be long.

"I'll be in the bedroom," I murmur and he immediately pulls back and stares at me.

There's something in his eyes I can't recognize - I've never seen it before - but I wonder, suddenly, if I'm moving too fast for him. I watch his eyes search my face intently before they settle onto my gaze again. I'm about to ask him if I'm moving too fast when he smiles and tells me he'll be right out. He kisses me briefly then goes inside, shutting and locking the door behind him. I'm already lost without his warmth against my body, without his bulk within my arms. I want nothing more than to be skin against skin with him. I turn to my room and push on the door. I freeze!

The room is a tip! I hadn't noticed it before but I can't have him in here! I run around, throwing open my window to rid the dead-sock smell from the room. I yank off the bedding, refitting the fitted sheet and smoothing it out, then I fluff the cover and let it waft to the bed as I quickly drop to my knees and shove everything I can reach under the bed.

I suddenly realize that that might not be such a good idea! That dirty jocks and socks under the bed might not add the right 'atmosphere' to the moment so I quickly scoop it all about again, racing to the wardrobe and tossing it all inside. Before I slam the door shut on the contents, and odor, I grab my deodorant and spray a more than liberal amount in there before locking the offending items away from view.

I turn and accept that the room is passable. Not a lot I can do about the weeks of dust on the shelves in the time I have left, and I hope his allergies don't pick up on it. I reach over the bed, spraying the deodorant liberally again and I watch the little beads of moisture drift through the air, falling onto the bedding. I quickly spray myself before putting the pack down again. I stop and look around the room. Suddenly, I sneeze!

Overkill! Oh god!!

I hear the toilet flush and then the taps squeal as they are turned on, the water thumping within the old copper piping. I'm out of time and Danny's going to sneeze up a storm in this room. I quickly run to the door and start fanning it, watching the curtains at my window suck in then out and I thank the heavens for a little help in this matter.

The bathroom door unlatches, opens and he steps out. I'm casually leaning against the door now, and I can do nothing but wait and watch his reaction. He slips himself into my arms without effort, like he already belongs there and I'm not objecting. I've known for a long time that he has!

He turns his face and sees my bedroom for the first time. It's nothing spectacular but he says, "nice. Good thing we came here and not my place. My room's a tip!" He looks at me and smiles as he jostles me against his chest more. I shrug nonchalantly then we grin. I'm not sure if he knows the farce I've just been through or he genuinely means it, I guess little nuances like that will come as I grow to know him more.

He kisses me again - sweetly, tenderly - then he rubs his nose against the tip of mine as he tells me that's how Egyptian's kissed in the olden days. I tell him it's not as much fun as the way we do it now and he laughs in agreement before arching back within my arms to get a good look at me.

I'm lost for something to say, so I ask him if he wants a drink of any kind. He shakes his head as he declines politely, the whole time he's watching his own hand glide up my arm and onto my shoulder. The blue orbs shift and settle onto me and we both smile again. We actually seem a little shy with each other.

*

His finger traces down my cheek then across my lips - I'm conscious of them being dry so I wet them quickly. This brings a soft chuckle to his lips as he asks if he's ticked me. I shrug. Not really, but I'm not arguing the point with him. He pinches my chin lightly in his hand and tilts his hungry mouth so that it fits over mine once more, his tongue delving and exploring the far reaches of my mouth.

We stumble together to the bed and I'm surprised we make it down onto it without breaking the kiss once. He's on his back, I'm the dominant in this and I'm pinning him down with one leg across his thighs while his hand runs up under my thigh and over my butt, sending shivers through my spine and cheeks. His hand continues to travel - over my waist, back and shoulder then down the front of me. He blindly searches for, and finds, my tuck and begins to pull at it frantically as the kiss heats up passionately.

We're squirming together now, I'm trying to grind my groin into him and he's arching up to meet me with each movement. He's grunting again and I'm getting to love that sound. Our kisses are moist and noisy - the best kind! Our tongues fight and fumble, playing tag from one mouth to the other. Sometimes our lips part and we lose contact, but our tongues never do. Least this way we can draw breath!

He succeeds in releasing my top from my pants and his hand grips cruelly at my chest, his nails scratching across my (thankfully) firm pecs.- which I discover, to my surprise, I'm loving!

So focused am I on the feel of his nails on my taut skin that I hardly even notice when he wraps his legs around me and tosses me onto my back. Now he's the dominant and he's damn sexy playing it, too! He kneels up over me - trapping me between those incredible thighs of his as his growing groin waves in front of my face like some kind of prize -(which it is!). I can't help but notice the thick ridge formed beneath the strained material and by the time I manage to tear my eyes from that area he's waiting for me and is grinning madly at me, obviously enjoying the fact that he caught me having a good perve at his package.

He teases me, not just with the words that are uttered on a soft, breathy whisper that I'm sure my linguist friend has chosen to drive me wild, but there's something about the way he's kneeling over me, he seems to be arching slightly and that groin - that tantalizing groin - is hovering near me, making my mouth water. I inhale and I can smell the arousal filling the room. I look into his eyes and he gives me another confident smile, his golden bangs falling to the edges of those incredible eyes as they gaze down on me.

Still over me, he drops his hand behind himself and lets it play lightly across the folds in my pants right next to my crotch. I dig my heels into the bedding and raise up just enough to rub myself against his tight ass. He grins - wickedly, lop-sidedly, wantonly. I can't help but think to myself that my shy young friend is one hell of a sexy firecracker in the bedroom and I'm filled with eagerness to see just how much of a bang he gives off when he's alight!

I notice his fingers have found where I lie within the folds and are now tracing the outside edge of my dick through the cloth. I feel a shiver wrench through my body. He's giving a deep, throaty laugh as he asks if I like that. Sure I like that, I tell him, and promptly attempt to drive his head through the ceiling the very next time he touches me there.

I groan, well growl or.. oh dammit .. I think it was a moan! He's got me wired up inside. It's like all my nerves are alight and switched on. I can feel the surface of his pants as it rubs my side oh-so-lightly where my skin's exposed because he's untucked my top - I'm literally that sensitive at the moment. His long legs part as he rolls off me and onto his back. As I position myself along side of him he's casually tucking his hand under his head while touching light fingers to my cheek.

"Jack..."

It's the way he says it. The quality of his voice, the softness of his words. I'm melting and I know I'm showing it. My hand rests on his flattened stomach and I find it's a lot solider than I thought it would be. I begin to rub him, enjoying the feel of his firm body, moving my palm across his clothing in large circular movements.

"What, Daniel?"

He grins at me. God, he's stunning. The cheeks are still perfectly flushed, highlighting his golden stubble. I shift the hand propping my head up and trace my index finger lightly over his coarse facial hair until my fingertip feels a little numb. I reach down, hungrily biting and nibbling his mouth again and he lays there, letting me, his hands cupping the back of my head lightly.

His mouth is so soft and pliable that I'm compelled to draw it into my mouth and suck and nip the lips, making him laugh - which of course, tightens the lips and steals my enjoyment from me. I pull back, looking into his darkened blue eyes. I see the redness around his mouth and know that I've caused that. Bubbles of excitement burst in my stomach as I tenderly touch a finger to the redness before I stare down into the honest eyes.

"Do you want.. something?" I ask him.

He shakes his head slightly then a little more forcibly as he asks if I want to stop for something. My breath stalls in the back of my throat as I watch how his lips form every word he utters. Finally I drag my eyes to his once more and I tell him, in a deep, thick whisper, that I don't want to stop ... for anything.

He cups my face in his hand as he props himself up onto his elbow. He says nothing but somehow I hear my name once more, soft and floating between us. He checks my eyes briefly as he pulls closer and our lips meet again.

Instantly the tender ember he begun with ignites into a raging passion and I'm barely able to hold him as he pushes me over onto my back and crawls his long, lean body over mine while his tongue delves so far back I swear he's touched my tonsils. He wedges his thigh against my groin, adding just the right amount of pressure to my engorged shaft. Every movement, every gyrate of his hips, rubs that thigh against me more and more and I'm starting to squeeze my thighs against it, starting to hump his leg like a dog on heat. His hand wildly scrapes at my clothing, working unseen buttons open and brushing material aside before he dips his head and begins to bite and suck over my entire chest. His tongue starts toying with my dog tags as he groans loudly. I ask him what's wrong and he lifts back up to look me straight in the eye as he tells me how sexy I am.

I'm speechless. No one has ever said that to me. Certainly no woman I've ever been with would be so wild and blatant even in the throes of passion, nor would they think to compliment me in such a way during the foreplay. I know I've murmured it a few dozen times against perfumed throats while my eyes were shut tightly but Daniel was looking straight down at me - unabashed in his passion. I love it. He's so god-damn refreshing and I'm overwhelmed by him all over again.

He's kneeling over me again and this time I sit up, cupping his cute, rounded butt in my hands as he sits down onto them in my lap. His hands brush through my hair and we both smile at each other. I'm astounded by his next words.

"Do you have protection?"

Somehow I never expected it from him, but with this new disease - AIDS - that we're hearing so much about lately, I guess it's a valid question. I feel mortified though - because I really don't! He presses himself up onto his knees once more and reaches into his front pocket, withdrawing his wallet. He extracts what he needs from the tattered leather object then tosses it to the bed, letting it fall wherever. Either he has no money - or he trusts me, I think to myself. As I turn to look at him I realize it's the latter. He's holding a condom up between us and I thank god he's prepared. I want to ask why he carries one in his wallet but he's read my mind obviously and is already explaining how they are issued out at University and he took one, of course, but has never had a need for it - until now.

I cup my hand over his and I'm not sure which one of us is trembling more. He releases the pack and I put it on the bed beside us as he sinks down onto my lap once more. I cup the back of his head as I lay back on the bed, pulling him on top of me. His hands come out to support himself and he hovers, grinning madly, above me. I brush back his long hair, eventually tucking some behind his ear to keep it at bay. But it's a lost cause as he dips his face and brushes his lips across mine before pulling back up once more, the hair all over his face again. He laughs, his perfect nose wrinkles slightly and he's so god damn gorgeous, I can barely believe it - can barely believe he's here, with me, like this!

I wrap my legs around his and tilt him until he falls onto his back with a soft whumping sound. I crawl onto him now and push the hair out of his eyes. He's panting softly, I can hear it as well as see it. The pulse point in his throat beats rapidly and I bend down to kiss it lightly. He moans softly, his hand gripping the back of my hair as I begin to nip and suck the tender skin on his throat. His groin is bucking against my hip and I'm well aware that the time has come to move on. I pull up again, realizing that I've marked his skin now with a purplish bruise - the kid marks easily, I tell myself and store that away for future reference.

Our eyes are connected as I shift along his body until I'm over his crotch. He squirms slightly as he intently watches me undo his pants. I smile when I see brief green underwear and I grip the tops of his jeans and begin to shimmer them down his long legs until they bunch at his booted feet. I ease his first foot free then the other, then I peel off his socks and toss them over my head. He chuckles softly as he tilts his head to watch where they fall. When he looks back down at me I'm watching him as I remove his jeans all the way. I crawl up along his body again - my knees go between his spread golden thighs. I pause over the green covered crotch then I bend and place a kiss on the obvious erection. He sucks in a breath noisily as he arches his back. My finger eases under one of the leg elastics now and I skim the sensitive skin with my fingertip. He moans and it grows louder the closer my finger inches to his hot groin. I delve into the moist valley between his sac and his thigh and he practically bucks me off the bed with his enthusiasm. I brush aside the underwear at that spot and bend to kiss him there. He cries out softly, praying to his god, I believe, then I hear something I don't fully comprehend as my tongue delves along the valley of heat.

I leave him there and turn to remove my own boots and pants. He reaches up onto his elbows to watch my impromptu strip for him. We're both grinning like wild men now as I crawl over him once more, my knees either side of his hips, my bare feet snuggled into the valleys between his groin and thighs again until I can effectively cup his sac in the arches of my feet. His eyes grow wide as I gently caress him with my feet and I laugh, saying that he's obviously never had that done to him before.

He looks at me and without words he tells me something that has my heart thudding in my throat.

"You and 'Mrs. Robinson' never got this far, I take it?" I ask huskily. He blinks rapidly as he tells me that he and she often got this far, and further, but he's never been with a man before... though he had kissed one... once...

I nod and swallow, finding that hard to do with my heart lodged in my throat like it is. The boy has given me his manhood and I hold it in the palm of my hand, well, technically in my feet, but figuratively, I have him in my hands. I know that if I hurt him here tonight I will ruin him for all the lovers he is yet to have. Ruin him in a way unspeakable and unforgivable.

"I'll take things slowly then," I tell him in a hesitant voice and he smiles at me. His smile lights up his eyes, making them the brightest azure I've ever seen.

"Thank you," was all he said but I heard more: 'I knew I could trust you to be my first.' It makes me feel strong, like I have so much power. Power that I 'm not about to abuse.

He trusts me. A month ago he trusted me enough to get into my car that first morning. Trusted me enough to allow me to bring him back to my place. Trusted me again when he let me into his. And all along he trusted me with his guarded thoughts and theories .... Now he trusted me with the ultimate! His manhood, his sexuality - and I saw it as a gift. Daniel was, to me, a gift. I beckon him to me at that moment and he sits himself up. We wrap each other in our arms, both of us trembling slightly. I hear his soft sigh and I think to myself: //I feel it too, kid!//

As he pulls back he stares at me with large, trusting eyes. I smile, a little scared of them to be honest - what if I fail him in this? What if I do something here that shatters everything he's entrusting me with? But the hunger within them tells me that he's ready for this.. as ready as I am.

Slowly, I lift his top off over his head and then he rolls back down gradually so that I get a good look at his body. Not overly developed but nice, just the same. Smooth, white, soft chest and a flat stomach with the tiniest of paunch between his navel and green underwear. So damn enticing! As my hand glides over the silken skin I'm aware of how tanned I look against his fair skin.

His hands are sliding my top up now and I pull it up over my head before flinging it behind me to land, god knows where. He chuckles and the intensity of the past few moments flees, leaving us breathless and light once more.

As I fall forward onto my hands again he catches my swaying dog-tags in his mouth. I bend and kiss him over the top of them before he pushes them from his lips in order to capture my mouth in another searing kiss. During the kiss I lay myself over him, our groins rubbing together as we position our legs for comfort.

I pull back and my hands caresses over his stubble while I just enjoy the moment for what it is. He has a burning question, though, I can see it in his eyes.

"So, have you?" He asks me.

"Have I what?" I ask, propping my head up with my hand as I run the other hand down the middle of his stomach to toy with the golden trail there.

"Ever been this far...?"

"With a woman?"

He nods and I nod. He nods again as he looks off and says, "of course.." softly. I wait for the eyes to return to me then for the next question.

"How about a man?"

The kid doesn't fail me and I smile. "Yes..."

He nods then asks me when. I genuinely have trouble recalling just how long ago it was that I'd been *this far* with another man. I'd kissed, a lot, with other men - that really was no different than kissing a woman, except for the stubble and, well then I guess that depended on the woman! Seriously, stubble is something that really gets me hot. I love the feel if it, love touching it, running my fingers over it, rubbing my tongue into it. It's sexy. Very sexy! I've never seen it worn better on anyone but the man I am with right now. Daniel could make a sack look sexy, but what he did for stubble - Christ, I could blow just looking at him!

But it very rarely got past the kissing stage. They all seemed to lack 'something' but I don't know what that was. A few times I let them go down on me or I'd go down on them, always with a condom and never for anything more than instant, gratuitous sex. It wasn't for keeps.. it was mere satisfaction! Maybe they didn't lack anything - maybe it was me....  Because the last time I went 'this far' with another man, *this* open and *this* vulnerable.... (and it comes as some surprise when I realize it) was more than ten years ago.

"I was probably about your age..." I bend and kiss his hard nipple tenderly. He sighs softly then his hand starts to caress the back of my head.

"What happened then?" he asks me. I lift up and frown at him. I didn't want to think about it, about 'him' - not at this moment. I didn't want to recall his hard body, his piercing eyes, his cute accent. I sigh. I haven't thought about George in over ten years, and now was not the time to start.

"Why all the questions?" I ask him in a husky voice, pushing the images from my mind once more.

He shrugs. "I study people, remember?"

My finger glides down his body, choosing to skirt across one of the elasticized legs of his underwear again, delving inside to lightly skim along the warm, hairy valley between his groin and his raised thigh. Instinctually, he moans and shifts under my touch. I nod then quip, "didn't know you were writing a thesis on mating rituals.." as I glide my palm up the inside thigh of his raised leg, up to where I can cup my hand over his bent knee.

He laughs softly then, by the grip he has in my hair, he tilts my face towards him. "Just interested in knowing where you've been, that's all."

I reach forward and kiss his mouth and as I do, I press his knee down onto the bed, pushing his legs apart completely so that I can lie flat on his body.

My mouth skims his as I say, "No where.. for a very *long* time..." then I slip my tongue between his slightly parted lips until his mouth gives way, allowing me entry. I groan and slither across his stomach as I inch up his body to gain deeper access, while his legs wrap around, then between, mine and he pins me down onto himself. I press up onto my outstretched hands now and he follows me up, his body wrapped around mine so securely that he can lift from the bed effortlessly, while still devouring my lips and tongue with his own. At this angle, my crotch is pinning him to the bed.

His hands run down the arch of my back, slipping down under the waist band of my boxers now, then his long fingers grip my ass firmly, making me press down onto him forcefully. He moans and it rumbles into my mouth, mixing with the one I'm releasing, too. The fingers tentatively move closer to my cleft and my skin is alive, every nerve on alert as his skin brushes against mine. The kiss is still relentless, loud and hot, but my arms are tiring from supporting us both. The instant his fingertips reach my heated valley I shake and we drop to the bed together, his hand releasing from my underwear and gripping my face in a vice like hold so that our lips still don't part.

My hands grapple with his now and I reach them up to hold them above his head as I start devouring his chest like a hungry man. He squirms, gulping back air as he smiles and bucks at me, his underwear straining to withhold him now. I release his hands and continue down his smooth body until I reach the downy trail along his soft stomach. I lick and suck at it, moving down to where the hairs begin to grow coarse. I've reached the top of his briefs and I feel a damp nudge against my cheek. I pull back and see the tiny wet spot on the tip of the covered shaft. I lick it, pressing hard against it with my tongue and thoroughly saturating the cloth between us. He gasps.

"Jack.."

I apologize as I confess my desire to have him in my mouth. He reminds me that there's only one condom and I tell him, quickly, that he can get me off by his hand.. if it means I can have him in my mouth..

He takes a moment then nods, ever-so-slightly. I reach across him and snatch up the pack, ripping it between eager hands as he slips his underwear off for me, the simple action making me jerk eagerly within my own confining garment.

He lays back, completely naked now, one leg bent slightly for comfort and his heavy shaft straining up from a bed of dark golden curls. He's smiling at me, but I can see he's a little nervous too. I position the roll at his tip and he touches his hand to mine briefly. I pick up his hand and I kiss his palm as I check if he's sure. He nods so I start to carefully roll it onto his shaft. His hand drops to my shoulder and as I pull his foreskin back, stretching the condom over the red tip and then down the rock hard flesh, he digs his nails into my shoulder and scratches down along my arm until I stop my hand movements and stare down at his fully sheathed shaft. We're both ignorant to the long red lines down my upper arm as I reach down and kiss his mouth once more, knowing that I won't taste as nice next time after having had the condom in my mouth. I position myself alongside him now, kneeling by his hip. I gently nudge the side of his thigh and he lifts his leg a little, so that I can wedge my kneeling leg beneath it. His leg lowers, draping over my lap now and I'm in perfect position to reach him. I cup my hand around the stiff rod and, as I close my fingers around it slowly, I enjoy the sound of his moan as I watch his eyes shut languidly. I pump down then up, then down again, watching his reactions - which do not fail me. He shifts across the bedding slightly, squirming to keep the contact between his hot shaft and my hand, as he digs his heel into the mattress and juts up slightly.

"Patience, grasshopper.." I quip and his eyes open slowly, the blues barely visible in the highly aroused orbs now. He locks eyes with mine and I watch every flicker in them as my fingertip trails down the back of the stem in a soft zig-zag. Then I teasingly circle the tightening sac, moving onto the perineum - which is so goddamn sensitive on me that I wonder if it's the same for him. Judging by the buck I get as I skim the surface lightly, I believe it is. My finger shifts along it to the dip nestled behind it.

His hand moves fast, slapping my upper arm as soon as my fingertip touches the tight pucker. His fingers then grip my arm muscle, squeezing me tightly as my tip presses to breach him. I look at him and I see he's breathing heavily through his mouth. I pull my hand away and the fingers ease up on my arm once more. I wonder if he's even aware how tightly he was holding me as I hover over his face once more.

"I don't have to breach you - not tonight anyway. Not until you're ready... "

He nods and I bend to him, sealing the agreement with a kiss. He responds eagerly, his tongue teasing across my mouth, his lips latched onto mine in a tight hold. It's like he's trying to make up for it with this kiss, which is fine, but unnecessary. We have the luxury of time on our side here. We can take things easy tonight, divest him of his virginity in the gentlest way possible then, another time, we can explore more 'deeply' the erogenous zones of his incredible body.

My hand grapples to find the straining shaft once more as I continue the deep kiss with him. He whimpers as I grip him tightly then he begins to suck on my tongue in rhythm to my strokes. My groin twitches with jealousy as he sucks my tongue like I want him to suck my dick. The thought - the vision - of seeing my shaft goingg into that mouth of his.... My head wants to explode just thinking about it. I'm aware of his sudden shivers and I pull away from his suction, gasping to regain my breath as I smile down at him. My hand brushes across his flushed face then I silently twist and move towards his groin. My mouth is literally watering by the time I reach his erection and I move my face over him, aware of the very intimate act I'm about to perform on him. I look up and meet his eyes, and we exchange smiles before I wink then open my mouth and go down on him.

He gasps, curling up around me as his hands grip the short hairs on the back of my head in his tight fists. I wrap both arms around his V-shaped body now, hugging him as I suck him for all I'm worth, enjoying the solid, rigid shaft as it presses against the back of my throat. I rasp my teeth along the sheath, ignoring the taste as I do. He moans loudly as his hands grip me even more tightly than before. I slip a hand between his thighs now and cup his balls, gently squeezing them as I suck then release and suck once more. With the side of my hand I brush the perineum, rubbing it as I jostle his sac gently in my hand. He's straightened out again now, lying flat on his back, save the leg that's hooked up to accommodate my arm under it and between his thighs.

I suck him all the way to his tip then I let go, gasping for air before I bury my face in his hot groin, smelling his arousal, tasting the tart skin alongside his sac which is heaven compared to the foul taste of the condom, and I brush the curls with my tongue. With my head still buried in his nether region I shift across his bent leg until I'm kneeling between his thighs now. I lick and nip and suck every inch of skin that I possibly can now and he's crying out softly above me.

Blindly I slide my hand up his stomach and he grabs it in his, entwining our fingers as he starts to buck the air while I suck the hardened sac into my mouth now. My tongue presses the wrinkled skin, separating the orbs inside then licking over the entire surface again until I pull my face away from the moist area and dip lower to start to bite the perineum softly.

His fingers dig into my shoulder as he calls my name quietly. I look up, seeing the arched throat, his mouth, opened and wanting, his eyes clasped shut with desire. I throw myself over his body and his eyes spring open at the unexpected contact. I thrust my tongue as deeply as I can down his throat and he wraps his entire body around me as we both rock together, rubbing the shafts between us fervently.

Soon I feel him bite down on my tongue as he begins to shudder. It would seem that ripple after ripple of orgasm rips through his body now and I feel his shaft twitching, expanding then quivering against my own as he pours out into the sheath still covering him. He is whimpering into my mouth now then he begins to suck my tongue once more, and that is enough - along with the twitching shaft against me - to send me over the edge as well. I pour out into my underwear that we hadn't even gotten around to removing yet. As I collapse onto his heaving chest, I couldn't care less though.

He's huffing and puffing now, trying to swallow and trying to wet his lips at the same time. I'm the same. My throat is dry and my crotch is wet and I'm as happy as I could ever remember being.

Soon I feel him fidgeting beside me and I open my eyes to see he's peeling off the condom.

"Where?" he asks me and I take the soiled sheath from him then reach across his body to the other side of the bed. His hands touch my torso lightly as I carefully place the condom into a used coffee cup partially hidden under my bed. I move back now, feeling the wetness of his come on my stomach and I realize I must have brushed him as I leaned across him.

I shift against his side, tilting my head to look down at myself and he follows my vision. I hear him laugh then he starts to squirm down the bed, his arms hugging my hips as he nestles his body between my thighs. I'm not sure what he's about to do until he does it. He places his mouth over my softening shaft still within my underwear and he sucks at me, drinking in the juices that are wetting the cloth. I reach my hand down and ruffle it through his hair then he lets me go and shifts back up to my side again.

"Should you have done that?" I ask him, trying to sound stern through the breathless gasps.

"I want to know what you taste like..." His hand delves under my waistband and two fingers skim my sodden tip. He extracts his hand and I grab him around the wrist before he can put his come-covered fingers in his mouth. "You told me yourself," he says with a confident smile. "You haven't been with anyone in a long time... or with a man in ten years... or more.."

He says the last words cautiously and I arch my brow at him. Just how much older than him does he think I am? It was supposed to distract me, it seems, as he steals his hand away and pops his fingers in his mouth, moaning softly as he tastes me properly for the first time. His eyes loll closed then open again as he drags his fingers from his lips enticingly slowly.

"You know-" I run my thumb down the side of his face then across his moist plump lips. "If I knew you'd look that damn hot .. I'd have given you the real thing to suck on.."

He smiles at me wantonly. "All in good time, Jack!" He kisses me quickly then snuggles down onto the pillow. I nestle in beside him and we caress each other gently across our face and chest. He seems fascinated with my dog tags as he toys with them, reads them then lifts them off over my head to drop them around his own neck. They fall onto his younger, hairless chest and he lays on his back, holding them up to read them again.

"Anthony...." He smiles as he tilts his head into the pillow so that he can see me beside him. I arch a brow as I sit myself up, easing the damp underwear off then I kick them across the room before I lay back beside him, seeing his amused smile. He jiggles the dog tag before me, obviously awaiting a response to his comment but I don't say anything, I merely shrug. It's the name my parents gave me, well, the second name at least - what more was there to say about it?

I smile as I trace around his erect nipple with my fingertip. "What's your middle name?"

He screws his nose up then sighs. "Charles.."

I grin. "Daniel Charles Jackson..."

He groans loudly like he thinks it's the worst name in the world...

"I like it," I tell him.

"It's pompous!" He tells me as he rolls onto his side, the tags dropping to the pillow under him.

"Nothing about you is pompous!" I say, caressing his hip lightly. He smiles as he moves his hand down to fumble with mine, then - I'm not sure if he's guiding me or not - our hands slip down onto his damp groin and I feel the weight of the softened shaft as my fingers grip it lightly. He sighs so softly it makes the hairs on my neck stand up. I squeeze the fat, soft shaft in my hand and he grins at me when it twitches within my hold. Staring at his face, so angelic, so young - I suddenly wonder what the hell I'm doing with this kid! But as he lifts his eyes to meet mine again - and his orbs are so dilated from dessire that all I see is a trim of blue around shimmering black - I know *exactly* what I'm doing with him. Getting the chance of a life-time, that's what!

The kid's so damn gorgeous! His hair is flopped into his eyes as he watches me intently, waiting for what though - I'm not sure. With a deep growl at the back of his throat he leans towards me, smiling seductively (and I bet he doesn't even know he's doing that!) as soon his mouth nudges against mine, asking for an invitation in. My tongue comes out and swipes his full, soft lips and it seems to be all he needs as he murmurs "hmmmm," before capturing my mouth in another searing kiss. After a breath stealing kiss he bends his head and starts to kiss my chest, forcing me to roll onto my back as he crawls across me, biting and sucking his way.

I suck back a deep breath as I caress his back with my hand, sliding it along his spine to the rounded butt, which is now waving in the air as he reaches across me to chew on my other nipple. My hand explores the sweaty cleft tentatively and he doesn't object. Even as my fingertips brush his pucker he doesn't object. When my index fingertip presses the tight opening he murmurs against my skin but doesn't stop me. I withdraw my hand quickly, slicking my middle finger within my mouth then I place my hand back and press him again. This time he moves, rolling his hips and moaning softly. He presses back against my pressure and I pop inside him easily. His eyes are dark and hooded when he finally lifts his face to look at me.

"This okay?" I ask, my surprise clear in my voice. He smiles and kneels all the way up now, embedding my finger deep within himself.

"Yes," he hisses.

I watch as his shaft twitches before me again, slowly rousing to life once more. I scoot down between his kneeling thighs and I rub my face against the stiffening shaft while he growls and combs one hand through my hair as his other caresses under my chin and throat.

I feel the twitch and lean back to observe the involuntary quiver in the soft, heavy muscle. I kiss it lightly then whisper, "well... this is interesting..."

His erection nudges at my cheek fortuitously as he tells me, "It's never happened before.."

I lift my eyes to met his, the whiskers of my chin rub the silken shaft gently. "Never?"

He shakes his head then he smiles as he cups my chin with his warm hand. I kiss his palm then I brush his hand aside to rub my lips lightly along his tightening skin.

"Jack..." he hisses again and I feel the tremble begin within his body. My finger moves a fraction within him and he moans again. I withdraw it to it's tip then gently press it in once more. He shudders and his fingers tighten in my hair.

My tongue licks at the glistening shaft, tasting his salty flavor mingled with the tart taste of the condom. I'm sure that trembling sigh was mine as I shift to reach him even better. His legs move apart slightly and my second finger slips in unnoticed. I'm wrapped around his groin, tucked in under his parted thighs, three fingers of one hand now embedded within his tight body while my other hand grips his hip firmly for support. With the angle I'm at I know I can't keep this up for long, the muscles across my strained shoulders and neck will start to protest soon, I'm sure. But until that time comes I suck, lick and tenderly bite him, all the time feeling the flesh swell within my lips.

I pull my hand from him now, then slip myself out from between his legs so that I can kneel to reach his height. His hands drop to my waist and he holds me lightly, his thumbs brushing my skin gently. With the hand that had been on his hip I cup his face and draw our mouths together once more. Our tongues are tender with each other. There is no dominance at play here, merely touching, caressing and tasting. We pull apart slightly, both breathless with arousal once more.

His breath is hot against my lips as he says, in a shaky voice, "you know how you said you didn't want to .. do that.. yet.."

I pull back far enough so that I can see his eyes. They are almost black with desire now.

"It's a big step, Danny..."

" I know," he nods slightly, but his eyes are begging me.

"You think you trust me .. that much.."

He nods again, his whole body is trembling within my hands now. I cup the back of his head as I pull him back so that I can devour his mouth once more. This kid.. trusts me...

I lose myself in his mouth once more, enjoying the swirling action of his tongue, drinking in his juices and absorbing them into me - to be part of me for the rest of my llife. Reluctantly, I surrender his mouth when he pulls back a fraction. We are both watching each other now, kneeling together in the center of my bed. I'm suddenly aware of the responsibility he's given to me. I don't want to disappoint him but I'm aware, just the same, that he's so new to all this... not just physically either!

He must read something in my eyes because he moves now, lying himself back onto the bed, sprawling himself before me, as if offering me some kind of sacrifice - which it is, I guess. Up until now what we've done could have been achieved with any woman - or even his Mrs. Robinson, but what we're about to do - can only be done between two men and I'm just hoping he's ready for this! I'm not just referring to the pain aspect of it, and I'll do all I can to minimize that for him, but it's the intimacy of the whole act that concerns me.

"You're absolutely sure...?" I ask as I brush some of his wayward hair from his stubble.

Daniel's mouth twitches with a smile. "Yes..."

I close my eyes as that feeling of power, of entrustment, rises within me once more. I reach down then whisper in his ear as my hand caresses his chest, "It will hurt..."

He whispers back, "it's okay... I trust you.."

I clench my eyes close and I'm thankful he doesn't see the single tear that wets my eye now. My lips brush his lobeless ear as I say all I need to in that small action.

When I pull back I gaze down on his face and smile, which he returns, a little hesitantly. His hand reaches up to me and, as I lower myself onto him I realize that we're both shaking as much as the other now. Our hands touch, his long fingers entwine with mine, then his hand fists into a ball and slips around inside my larger, cupped hand before splaying against my palm again and entwining our fingers once more. All the while I've been kissing his throat, feeling the rapid heartbeat at his tender pulse point. I've marked his skin several times now but it doesn't stop me from desiring to do it again, and again. His moaning so he's obviously enjoying it anyway! I start to crawl backwards from him, unable to break the kiss we're sharing at the moment until my feet slip over the edge of the bed and I feel the floor beneath my toes. I now jerk my head back from his mouth and we smile at each other.

"I'll be right back," I tell him as I leave to go out the room, leaving him there, tousled amongst my bedding. I soon return with a bowl of cooking oil. It's all I have in my bachelor pad, and at least it's edible.

I kneel beside him on the bed and frowns at me. "Cooking oil," I tell him and he nods as he begins to press himself up onto his out stretched arms. I touch my hand to his cheek when I see the hesitation return in his eyes.

"Daniel, we don't have to.."

He grabs my hand and squeezes it. "I want to..." There it is again. The 'I trust you' in his eyes, shadowing the brilliant blue that's staring right through me now. All I can do is nod then I begin tugging at the bedding to remove it so that it's not destroyed by dribbling oil. He crawls off as well.

"Because, you know, we can wait until another time..." I say, tossing the bedding aside now. He's standing behind me now, his arms wrapped across my chest, his lips against the back of my ear.

"I *want* to!" He stresses then nips my ear lightly. I duck my head then turn within his hold to face him.

"Want to, huh?" I smile as I kiss the tip of his nose.

"Want to, have to..." he says through teeth clenched in desire. My hand trails down his back and I feel him shiver as I reach the top of the cleft. Instead of going where he's anticipating, I veer to the side, skimming the soft, round globe then I run my hand along the underside of his thigh, and he lifts his leg to allow me unlimited access. I grip him and hold his thigh, tugging him against my body now, my awakened shaft slipping between his parted legs. He growls lustfully at its contact against his soft sac and I can't help but smile.

Unbeknownst to him, I'm secretly dipping the fingers of my other hand into the oil and while I brush the dry inside of my wrist across his cheek, my fingers are dripping with oil.

Surprise has him and he yelps as my hand curls into the parted cleft and presses the opening, slipping in so easily with the oil as a lube. His eyes are wide and he's laughing and gulping at the same time.

"Christ!"

I laugh. If I can make him look like that and sound like that again - I'll be a happy man! He's gorgeous as he lets his head roll back slowly, his tender throat arched to me invitingly. I see the red and purple marks all over him and I press my tongue to them as I slip my fingers in and out of his hole. His shivers have increased again, and I feel his hot shaft twitch against my stomach. My tongue, rasped by his stubble, glides up his throat and over his chin and into his mouth, which he's now leveling at me for better access.

I slip my hand from his tight hole and grip his butt instead as I lower him back onto the bed now. He moves easily then shuffles himself onto the mattress so that I have room for my knees. We lie together then we tumble, kissing and nipping and sucking at each other until I feel totally aroused now. Much like it was for him, another arousal, so soon, was not usual for me. I took it as a sign that we were destined to be together, this way, at this moment.

He may be a virgin but the kid knows the positions and as we kiss he twists himself slightly until he's back is presented to me. I break the kiss and run my hands down his lean back, loving the way the muscles play beneath the ivory surface. There's just something I find so intoxicating about a man's back, I'm not sure what it is, but at this point in my life, it's only Daniel's back that makes me feel like I do. My fingers run over the light ridges of ribs and then down onto his hips, gliding around to the front of him and running across his stomach and up to his chest. He's moaning softly, head back and throat arched as I kiss his skin lightly while my hands play with his smooth chest, and the set of dog tags that belong to me!

I bite him, a fraction harder than I intend to and he flinches.

"I'm sorry.." I whisper and kiss the tender skin lightly. He turns his face to me and tells me he liked it then he grabs my hand and places it over his groin. I growl softly, burying my face into his warm skin and I begin to bite and nip him, not as hard, but harder than I had been as his hand and my hand tumble together, including his rigid shaft in our play.

I lean back, the action serving to thrust my erection into the small diamond shape between his butt cheeks and thighs. His hand drops down to feel my tip as it presses though the legs. I'm scooping out the oil with my hand and I rub his butt, smearing it between the cleft and over the tight pucker. I feel him tense a little and I bite and suck him again. His body slackens a fraction and I'm hoping it will be more before I try to enter him, or we'll both be feeling pain!

I pull back my hips, extracting myself from the tantalizing warm heat between his thighs. I run my slick hand all over my shaft then I reach forward and we kiss on the lips as best we can, while I gently work him to open him up for me.

We grow more passionate throughout the kiss and I know he's totally hooked now, so I carefully position myself and then, gripping his hips, I make my first, gentle thrust. I hear his soft cry of pain and I think to stop but my own instincts are kicking in here and all I desire is to be buried deep within him. I thrust again and again he whimpers but he doesn't ask me to stop. I coax him forward, onto his hands which is an even easier position for breaching him. I thrust again, and he tenses as our skin catches slightly, jarring the movement.

"Oh.. gads.. Jack.." he grunts softly as he bends his head forward. I want to reach down to him, to comfort him, but I know that if I did that, the position would add more pain. I remain where I am, on my knees, and I call to him gently.

"It's okay, Danny... It's okay..." as I rub his back reassuringly. Soon he nods and I inch in ever deeper. He's still whispering something quietly, and I'm sure he's trying to block the searing pain that would be filling him right now, despite my gentleness.

I glide my hands up along his side then I cup his chest as I press in all the way now. He arches upright as he cries out softly and I grip him tightly across the chest, holding him back against me as I whisper to him that it's alright, that I've stopped.... That I'm in..

He's gasping for air now and I feel his whole body shaking with fear, arousal and pain, no doubt. Because of his arched throat his mouth is close by my ear as he whispers, "it hurts..."

My insides roll in on themselves. I kiss his cheek over and over as I whisper an apology.

"Not your fault," he tells me then his hand reaches back and cups the back of my head. We look at each other the best we can then he smiles before kissing me tenderly. We pull back and I think I see a slight shimmer of tears in his blue eyes. I kiss his cheek, right at the corner of his mouth and he moans softly at the gentleness. I kiss him again then again and he's soon pliable enough to turn to me more. I search his eyes, seeing that damn trust there again. The pain seems to have subsided, I noticed, so I attempt my first thrust. He freezes again and I hold still.

"Danny, look.." I whisper, using my face to gently nudge his to the right of us so that he can see what I've been watching. The two of us, reflected in my mirror.

"Oh.. gods.." Daniel whispers and I see his hand reach back for my thigh. "Jack, that's.. so..."

"Horny.." I say and playfully bite the tip of his ear, hoping to lighten the moment. He laughs.

"Yes!"

I stick my tongue in his ear now and he shivers as he chuckles softly. "That.. that makes me feel so good," he whispers the confession to me. I hope it's good enough to mask the pain as I'm desperate now to begin pumping him. I have to feel myself slipping into that gorgeous, hot body, and, just like Daniel is doing, I'm going to watch.

We move together like a well synchronized machine, not at all like two men 'fucking' for the first time... He's riveted to the view of me pressing into the back of him and he gasps as I pull out, his hand running over my thigh, then butt then between us as best he can to fondle my patch of wiry pubic hair. I thrust in, capturing his hand between our bodies and he laughs once more, before waiting until I pull back before removing it. All the time we're watching the vision before us: of two men, kneeling in the middle of the bed, bodies spooned intimately together in the act of making love.

Soon the playfulness is gone and Daniel seems to be sensing the pressure building within me. To increase his enjoyment I reach around and pump him in time with my movements. I drop my face to concentrate on my rhythm, my lips brushing his smooth shoulders as I slowly bring us to the edge of the abyss. Despite being in front of me, his hands manage to be all over me, caressing and teasing and driving me wild! I hear my soft grunts grow louder and soon I feel the slow burn begin in my stomach then radiate out, down my leg and into my toes, down my arms and into my fingers and up to my throat, choking me with desire.

It would appear that his body has been keeping time with mine and soon it's his soft gasp that sends me over the edge. As he shakes within my grasp I shudder within him, both of us releasing at the same time. He's more vocal than I am, crying out loudly as he comes, then dry sobbing now as I squeeze and stroke him, droplets of pearly juice rise to the tip time and time again until he's finally drained, and so am I.

He drops forward onto his bent elbows, his head down and his body gasping for breath. I carefully extract myself from him then I reach for my t-shirt and wipe myself clean with it before rolling it into a ball and tossing it into the corner of the room. I crawl, tiredly, to the pillow end of the bed. One of my hands had remained on his hip as I moved to guide him with me, then we both collapse onto the pillows, spooning each other, me in the back. I roll onto my back, reaching for the discarded bedding, then I roll back to cuddle him as I tug the quilt over us both.

He reaches for my hand, lacing it with his as he brings it to his lips to kiss it. I kiss the moist back of his neck now and he chuckles slightly, obviously ticklish there. He drags our joined hands up to under his chin now and we both slowly drift off to sleep.


Bus Trip (day after)

I'm the first awake in the morning. What started yesterday afternoon went through to the small hours of this morning. Daniel dosed, albeit briefly, while I remained awake, watching him. Watching over him. And wondering.. about him, about me.. about us.

Wondering, too, what thoughts he was dreaming as he lay there, twitching ever so slightly within my arms. What thoughts had lulled him to sleep so deeply? I wondered what might be, in years to come, his memories of his first time with a man. Would he recall it well? Or would it be an embarrassing secret that he would forever try to hide from wife and children?

What of me? Here, as I lay with him against my chest, I can't even image anything else. His breath, laced lightly with my scent, puffs over my chest, it moves my chest-hair and I'm absurdly aware that this is no dream.

To assure myself further, I rub his back with my hand lightly just to feel his warmth, the lay of his silky, smooth flesh over his sleep-slackened muscles. He shifts a little, nudging against me more and his hand slides down from where it was resting, cupped over my right pec, all the way down to my groin. I flinch, almost expecting him to look up at me - that it had been a calculated grope, but he stays asleep, his fingers twitching during his state of REM sleep.

Each little flinch, although unintentional, makes me harder. I move my head slightly so that my lips can brush his tall forehead. I smell his scent; soap. He smells of soap, intertwined with sweat and semen. I inhale deeply and whether it was too much oxygen or the intoxication of him, I begin to notice that my heart rate quickens, only momentarily, but noticeably all the same.

We lay there silently, his hard body pressed against mine, the skin between us slick with perspiration. I get the feeling again - the light headedness, the palpitation of my heart. If I were a poet or a romantic, which I am not, I might even say my heart 'fluttered' or skipped - isn't that what they write in those books? 'His heart skipped a beat as he lay there, entangled with the body of his Greek God'.

I shudder and start to be grateful that I'm too cynical to be a romantic.

All I know is that I feel a certain contentment as I lay here with him. I lower my hand to rest over his at my groin- cupped loosely over my growing shaft - and I lace our fingers together slightly. I feel the heat and solidity of my own flesh beneath the pads of my two middle fingers. The rest are touching him. I close my eyes and I drift off to sleep, lulled quietly by the soft huffs of his breathing.

*

He's awake before me. The sun through the window is brighter than it was the last time I was awake and I estimate that it's late morning. He smiles at me as my eyes focus on him slowly. He's leaning on my chest with his elbow, one hand tucked into his long brown mane with its golden highlights, while his other hand idly draws across my chest. I'm aware that my nipples are hard, but that my cock is even harder. What a sight to wake up to! I could get used to this.

I move an arm, it sways awkwardly for a second before I gain its control, then I brush back his bangs, pushing them from the brilliant blue pools staring down at me. Staring right through me. Showing me that he felt no remorse for the actions we took last night.

"Good morning," he says in hushed, throaty tones. His smile once again fills me with want and desire and I shift my legs, bringing my feet flat onto the mattress and jostling him a little closer by nudging him with my thighs. His smile broadens as my flesh presses his back then he reaches down, while holding my gaze, and kisses my right nipple. My breath catches in the back of my throat as he gives a slight whimper before closing his eyes slowly and allowing his tongue to come out and trace the hardness of my nub. My hand automatically cups his head, silently encouraging him to continue. He does as he's asked, and his teeth drag across my tender flesh. I feel my body arch slightly, involuntarily, and I stab him in the back with a wet tip. He laughs and dips his face coyly, his finger returning to the tracing of the hard brown nipple as his teeth gnaw gently on his bottom lip - like he's suppressing something, something good, something that if he let it out would cause him to explode in a loud display of happiness.

I know how he feels. I feel that way too! Like laughing - loudly - and I feel like throwing my fists into the air while shouting out at the top of my lungs - "we did it!" I feel like racing him to the bathroom to shower so that we can go out to a meal, sit opposite each other in the real world, knowing what it's like to be in our secret garden.. untouchable. Then again, as my other hand slides up his body, closing the circle around him and drawing him nearer, I don't want to move from this bed either.

I drop one knee to the mattress and he slides himself between my thighs, like some well rehearsed movement between us. His stomach is pressed against my rigid groin now and he must be feeling it digging in under his ribs. Moving again, he partly slips, partly crawls up my body until his mouth is hovering, enticingly, over mine. I grin. I can't help it. I'm feeling cocky with this kid as I watch wayward hair flop into the gorgeous eyes that he hasn't managed to drag from my face, for even a second. It makes me feel good!

Christ, he makes me feel good!

My fingers spread wide on the skin of his back and by the flicker in his eyes, he likes that touch. I draw small circles over his cooling flesh and he closes his eyes completely, his throat arching back a little as he gives a very deep and low moan. That's when I feel him in my stomach. The sudden jab of unyielding flesh. I feel his legs part, pressing mine out wider again, as his hips rock against me. I know what he's asking for and I'm more than happy to oblige him.

"Daniel," I tell him and he moans again, obviously enjoying the sound of his name on my lips. Slowly his eyes open and black pools are ringed in bright blue. I'm surprised I can even think I'm so enamored. "Sit up a bit for me, please."

He parts his lips, drawing back breath as he silently obeys me by pressing himself onto his knees until he is kneeling before me; knees wide apart, his hands on his thighs. His hard cock juts before me enticingly and I swing around until I'm positioned on my back, under his soft, hanging sac. I open my mouth and lick at him and he practically yelps as he falls forward onto his outstretched arms. Now, with a better angle, I tilt my head and I engulf the hot, red shaft with my lips, mouth and throat. He hisses as his legs part further in the act of lowering himself down my throat. I moan now, he tastes so damn good! I moan, and I allow my hand to run all over his spread rump, into the hot, moist valley and then over the firm flesh that *I* know tingles when it's touched. He's moaning softly, too, verbalizing his enjoyment and adding to mine. Suddenly I'm surrounded by heat and moistness. The kid's gone down on me!! For crying out loud....

My hand involuntarily finds the back of his head and I tangle myself with his silken mane. When he sucks me, it feels like I'm going to be dragged down and out through that shaft and into his mouth. He's got some power in that suction and he releases me momentarily, before gripping me again - suction on full and my head spinning out of control. I moan and I know I've pushed on the back of his head with my hand. I didn't mean to but he starts moving now too, gliding towards the tip of me until he breaks the suction then swallows me before closing his lips around me once more. I start to see flashes behind my eyes. No! Not yet... it's too soon.. I want this to last. But he doesn't know this and with one god almighty, dry-throated cry, I come, into his sweet mouth and down his throat.

He gags. I'm expecting it - I did it my first time too. It's not so much the taste, as he's tasted me before when he licked it off his fingers. It's the way it fills your mouth, completely until you can't breath between the viscous liquid and the ramming shaft.

"Swallow, baby.." I urge him softly and he tosses his head back, flicking the long hair from his eyes. For a few moments he remains there, unmoving, and I start to think that if he doesn't breath soon, he may never again. With some relief I watch as his Adam's Apple bobs and, with a smile now, I know, from this moment forward, I'm forever a part of him. He looks at me as he draws back breath for the first time again and I see moisture in his eyes. I grapple to sit up and he throws his arms around my shoulders as he buries his face in the curve of my neck and chest. His hair is now all over my face, flung against my stubble until it caught, like cotton in Velcro. I brush it from my mouth and I settle it on his head as I whisper to him, "we don't have to do that again."

He shakes his head but doesn't look up. I can tell, by the stillness of his body, that he's not crying, as I first though he had been. Slowly he pulls away and looks at me, his eyes wide and unreadable. We say nothing, and I'm sure I must look like a fish gupping out of water. He starts to smile. Slowly it creeps across his own unshaven face until I see his teeth - shiny, white and clenched together behind his smile.

"So? You liked it?" I ask then I give a sharp shrug, just to appear nonchalant.

Shaking his head, and withholding laughter, he grips my face in his hands then squeezes my cheeks. I may think of him as a kid but he's got the strength of a man in those hands. Suddenly he twitches against my thigh and I'm reminded that he's still standing. I look down and he laughs - my scent is carried on his breath once more. Without a word, still - which is so unlike him!- he closes in and kisses me, forcefully. I fight him back and our tongues duel a while until we both pull away gasping for air. With a smile he lays himself down on the bed, like he's offering himself to me. I tilt my face over the shaft that's arching up to meet me. He lays there, one knee bent up in the air, the other flat against the mattress, allowing me in. I shuffle closer and bend until my lips brush the soft skin on the inside of his knee. He flinches like it's tickled him then I kiss the back of his thigh and he gives a soft, deep chuckle. I inch up, closer and closer to his hot groin, planting a row of soft pecks along the curve of the back of his thigh. His body shifts over the sheets, his elbows holding him up for support as he watches me intently. As my lips brush the junction between inside thigh and crotch - a warm place, heady with his scent and covered in tantalizing dark curls - he drops his head right back, allowing it to hang momentarily. I watch as his neck muscles tighten as he begins to lift his face once more. Our eyes meet and then I hold his gaze as I lower my face, closer and closer to the warmth below me. I see his eyes widen in anticipation and then I don't see anything as I shut my eyes, and lower my parted lips over the long, silky shaft.

I feel the vibration through his body and can make a pretty good guess at what's happened. He's flung himself back onto the mattress and when I take a moment to look, as I drag my lips up his cock, I can see he's arching off the bed, his hands gripping my sheets into tight fists. I can't help but smile. Never before has my ministrations afforded me such a reaction. This kid, with his lack of inhibitions here, is really good for my ego. I hungrily stuff the thick head down the back of my throat and he growls and lifts slightly off the bed, both his hands slapping against the back of my head and his long fingers begin digging through my hair. He starts to encourage me to speed up and I'm more than willing. I can hear him softly mumbling as he nears his peak.

My lips slip down until I feel the curls against them once more and then, suddenly, the kid twists and he's placed himself between my parted thighs. I start to frown but it hasn't time to take hold before I realize what's going on. He sucks my flaccid shaft into his mouth and I go down on him over and over, enjoying the strange sensation of having my cock toyed with by a slick tongue while it hasn't a chance of getting hard again - not for a while at least!

He whimpers something around his mouth full then suddenly I feel it, the shaft grows even more rigid, the head swells against the back of my throat and I sense, rather than taste, the come as it pours out into me. His fingers are really digging into my scalp as he jerks and twitches, his cries muffled by my shaft. Soon he spits me out and gasps for air, then he slowly opens his eyes and smiles up at me. I grin, lying myself down against the side of his body now and we wrap our legs together, laughing a little as they don't entwine as much as we'd like them to. Then we wrap each other in our arms; he has me around the waist, his arm draped across my stomach while his head rests on the edge of my shoulder. My arms are almost around his shoulders, but my hand plays in his golden hair. We watch each other a moment, both grinning like fools, and both gently caressing without thought to our action - just a gut instinct being fulfilled. I reach forward and kiss the tip of his nose then I pull back and we grin even more. He, unexpectedly, reaches forward and bites my chin in playful retaliation and then we laugh - deeply, contentedly - as we draw eacch other closer, his head slipping across my shoulder until his face is pressed into the curve of my throat.

As I close my eyes an odd thought flits across my mind in the moments before sleep claimed me again. I wonder how long ago our bus went by...

*

I was in the bathroom with the door open when I heard the faint ringing of my phone from the next room. Cursing it, for fear it would awaken Daniel, I hurry my business then run into the living room, diving onto my sofa and snatching up the phone. I stand and, walking over to the door of the bedroom while I hit the on button, I check on Daniel - but he is still asleep, face down in a star shape under the bed sheet.

I bark, "O'Neill", at the caller, whoever it might be, for interrupting our solitude, crashing into our afternoon and bringing with them news of the outside world - of which we neither need, nor want, today.

Gustov's voice crackles at the other end. "Jonathan! Arg! I finally find you! I've been calling for hours!"

I roll my eyes. No doubt, my semi-good friend is calling to find out how events turned out yesterday. I look in at the sleeping figure and inhale deeply as I pull the door to again, effectively protecting Daniel from the gossiping caller.

"Jonathan? Are you there *now*?" My friend's voice is impatient, maybe agitated.

I sigh and tell him that I am as I settle myself onto the arm of my sofa. I decide that I will not tell him anything about what happened yesterday after I left him in that meeting - not even cleverly hidden information. For what Daniel and I shared, that will remain, forever, between us and very, very personal!

"Yes, I'm here, for crying out loud," I grouse, "What do you want?" I know I'm sounding snappy but, hell, he's being damn pushy - calling me, I'm assuming, to find ouuut how well I scored yesterday. I rub my eye with the ball of my hand as I lean forward to rest my elbow onto my thigh.

"We have been trying to reach you many hours!" Gustov tells me in a wheeze of a voice.

"I've been here!"

But the truth of it was, I probably didn't hear the phone. It's been noted, on more than one occasion, that I've slept through my phone ringing. Tucked like it had been, between the back of a sofa cushion and the back of my sofa, I'm not really surprised I didn't hear it.

I slept pretty soundly too, when I did sleep, and if he'd called in that time, with the bedroom door closed like it was, there was no way I'd have heard the phone. I try to sound more considerate in my next question, even though all I want is for the damn conversation to end, so I ask, "what can I do for you, Gustov?"

He tells me; "I call you with grave news, my friend!"

*

I'm not sure how long I've been standing here, stock still, staring out at the busy street below my window. I'm aware, disjointedly, that smoke rises from the cigarette between my fingers now, it's blue trail snakes upwards and curls in the late afternoon sun streaming through the window before dissipating, never to be seen again.

I roll the white stick between my thumb and forefinger - once a mannerism that was so well known to me, but now just a some-what familiar action. My attention is drawn to a young couple walking together in the street and I bitterly curse them, even though they have done nothing wrong - it's just that they are allowed to 'be' that bothers me at the moment.

I'm cold. The late-autumn wind passing through the partially open window before me doesn't do this to me. I'm cold down to my bones - like the living dead and I'm about too pass my death sentence onto Daniel. My stomach knots, so tightly I actually flinch from it, reaching one hand out to steady myself on the window frame.

It was then that I heard the quiet creak of the bedroom door opening and I glance slightly over my shoulder to see Daniel edging himself from the room. He's standing there, dressed in nothing but his underwear again, and a nice thatch of bed hair on his head. He's unsure, I can see that in his eyes already. He passes over to me and then his eyes flick down to the cigarette in my hand then back up to me again.

"I didn't know you smoked."

I stare at the stub of cigarette between my fingers once more then I shrug as I draw in the last lungful of it. Reaching down, I flick it from my window, not bothered by where it might land.

"Haven't for a long time," I mutter, more to myself than in answer to him. He makes a quiet sound, like some kind of acceptance noise as he folds his arms over his bare chest, raising one thumb up to rest against his lips. He's staring at me. I don't need to look at him to know that, but the faint reflection in the window confirms it for me, just the same.

"Somehow," I say with a somewhat dramatic sounding sigh, even though it's totally genuine, "I think I'm about to take it up again." I glance at him only briefly as I turn and go to the sofa to sit down. That look alone should have prepared the kid for the bad news to come.

I'm sitting forward, elbows on my thighs, my hands clasped together before me when he moves across to me and, dressed like I am in nothing but underwear, he squats to look up at me.

"Jack, what's wrong?"

I know the kid isn't dumb, and let's face it, it doesn't take Einstein to know that I'm definitely uptight about something. I reach out and touch his face and immediately he nudges against my palm but his gaze never falters. I stare into those shimmering pools of blue as I tell him, "I just got some pretty bad news..."

He blinks as he frowns, little wrinkles cover his forehead. He slips himself onto the sofa beside me and I shift my gaze to avoid looking into his eyes now, because I know what impact my next words are going to have on him.

"I've been given my orders," I tell him in a voice that is not my own as I concentrate on my hands which are clenched together so tightly now that patches of mottled white appear on my skin.

"I don't.." He's shaking his head, I can see that in my peripheral vision. "Orders for what?"

My throat is tight but I mutter out, "Embarkation."

"Embark..? Jack?" His voice hitches with sudden fear and realization. "You're leaving?" I clench my eyes shut as tightly as I possibly can, and in someway I'm hoping this will drown out the pain and confusion in his voice right now. "Oh.. god!"

But it didn't! I feel him get up from beside me and I crumble, covering my face in my hands, hot tears of anger sting my eyes but don't dare fall.

"For how long?"

//Oh god, don't ask... don't ask..//

Hands grip my wrist and yank my hands from my face. I can't avoid his eyes now. They burrow through me, his confusion starting to give into anger as well, I can tell.

"How long?" He asks again through clenched teeth this time. I silently stammer as I shake my head. Daniel literally throws my hands down in disgust as he gets to his feet again before stepping over to the window, his lean body rigid as his hands brush the long hair from his eyes. He's cursing, I suppose it's at me, but it's soft and I can't be sure.

He deserves some kind of explanation. "I had no idea..." I begin to tell him then as he swings around to look at me, his face is so flushed with anger and tears that I melt. I push myself to my feet and step over to him but he backs away, telling me not to come any closer and his hands form a barrier between us.

//Oh god, I need him right now. I need to hold him...//

I try to reach for him once more and he slaps my hand away, but as I reach with the other hand and make contact, he stops fighting me.

"Yesterday, when I found out what you'd actually said.. I left the base. We were due to have a meeting, it was routine around there so I thought nothing of it. I told Gustov to cover for me and left to find you..."

He lets me gather him into my body now, but he doesn't give an inch in his resolve.

"Gustov called this afternoon. During that meeting we were given our embarkation orders..."

Suddenly his arms wrap around my naked waist.

"He's tried to call all day..." I conclude on a soft whisper, "to tell me.."

His fingers now dig into me as anger riles through his body - causing it to quiver - and he expelss his grief, finally, in a shuddering cry.

I close my eyes. He's only eighteen, I remind myself as he cries against my shoulder. Only eighteen - and he trusted me with the most intimate thing in his life, giving to me the most personal gift someone can give to another.... all the time I had no idea my fate was sealed! If I'd only waited until after the damn meeting to look for him!.. Well, I'd never have gone to him, that's for sure! I'd have taken this secret with me and he wouldn't be here, right now, like this.... But I didn't..

He *trusted* me... and now he's in my arms, crying his heart out.

I brush my lips over his temple and I'm trying to find the words to comfort him, but I can't even comfort myself at this stage. I'm feeling all this, too, for crying out loud! Bitter tears of injustice swell at the back of my throat and suddenly I want to hit something, really hard, but I grip Daniel tighter instead and I bury my face in his long brown hair.

Inhaling him again makes my heart do that silly thing, that skipping thing, but I wish it wouldn't! I have a feeling that recalling his smell and touch will have this affect on me for quite some time, and I can tell you now, it's damn distracting!

I stiffen as I feel him rub his face against my chest-hairs. Come on kid, I tell myself, this isn't any easier for either of us. Leaving you - after the promise of last night - is not any easier on me than it is on you, believe me!!!

My brain goes into over-drive and I start to wonder if I know the three words that might comfort him right now. I part my lips, inhaling a breath, ready to say them when I realize that telling him right now that I think I love him is only going to confuse him more, leave him hurt and with a promise of something I can't possibly give him anymore.

I snap my mouth shut again and I cuddle him closer to me, feeling the sting of my damn dog-tags he's still wearing as they press into my sternum. Vaguely I'm aware of the metaphor of the tags crushing my heart, but I don't explore it any further.

When he pulls away I'm surprised by how clear his eyes are. I'd imagined he was sobbing when he was just shaking. Probably anger and regret, I tell myself. I cup his face in my hands and he blinks as he swallows.

"I had no idea," I find myself confessing to him again and this time he nods like he believes me.

"I don't think you'd have done any of that.. if you knew.." His eyes shift focus between mine then he says, "I honestly don't think you could be that deceitful."

Part of me feels remonstrated and I believe that was his intention. If I had been that deceitful that would surely have stung me hard, but as I am totally innocent, I'm just as frustrated and angry and .. well, heartbroken (if a heart can ever really be broken, that is) as he is, and I think he sees that in my eyes now.

Still, I shake my head as my hands squeeze his face gently. "No way," I tell him in a voice that's definitely thicker now. I watch his face twitch and I see a sudden reddening of his eyes and then the lower lashes fill with tears. He's heard it in my voice as well, I realize, and it's affected him.

Wetting his lips, he steps back from my touch and my hands fall heavily to my sides, slapping my bare legs loudly. He gives me what I can only guess is an apologetic smile but I can see he doesn't want me to touch him. I have to respect that.

"Can I at least stay long enough to shower?" He asks, sniffing back then swallowing the tears caught in his throat.

"Of course!" I tell him as I move towards him but he dodges me stealthily, side stepping away and heading to the bathroom. I twist from the waist to watch him go but I don't otherwise move.

Aww crap! This is one hell of a mess!

*

By the time he comes out of the shower, dressed in nothing but my bath towel, I'm packing my duffle-bag. He stops at the end of the bed and holds out his closed hand to me. I'm curious so I hold mine out to him, upturned, and he carefully places the dog tags into my cupped palm. I stare at them a long moment then I put them back on without saying a word. As I look at him I see a question burning in those eyes as they survey my packing.

I know what he's going to ask without having to hear it. "I go tonight," I tell him. "Twenty-two hundred."

His voice hitches slightly in question as he drags his gaze from the bag and onto me. "Twenty-two hundred?"

"Ten o'clock, to you," I say, pushing more of my khaki-green underwear into the bag.

"So soon?" His tone is soft and I look up, hopeful that he's partway to forgiving me for stealing his virginity from him, and then ripping out his heart before stomping all over it. But his next reaction shows me I'm not forgiven at all. He snorts softly then mutters, acerbically, "sure don't give you much time, do they?"

"I'm Black Ops... we don't get 'told' a heck of a lot, believe me!" I can't even try to hide my anger at my career at this point and I realize that it might come across to Daniel that I'm angry with him. "Something I'm.. really.. regretting right now.." I say, hoping he'll pick up the heart I'm holding out to him.

The room is filled with strained silence and suddenly it's like he's the adult and I'm the terrified teenager, needing his reassurances and his forgiveness. Suddenly he's so big in my eyes and even though my fears have been of ruining him for future relationships, I'm starting to wonder if he's ruined me for mine instead. I will forever fear this happening again, and I will forever compare everyone to come to him.

"I'm regretting some stuff now too!" He mumbles as his fingers toy with the bottle of after-shave on my dresser. My heart turns to rock. It's weight causes my chest to ache and I try not to look as crushed as I feel right now. I'm pressing the revolting khaki-green clothes into my bag, intently, routinely, but without purpose. I just need something, anything, to keep my mind occupied for the next few hours...

I feel him beside me and I look up. His eyes dance across my face as he tells me, "But not us..."

I start breathing again and only come to realize that I hadn't been breathing when I suck in my first new lungful. His hand trembles against my unshaven cheek. "I'm never going to regret us, Jack. Please, believe me.."

"I stole your virginity..."

He shakes his head, looking adamant. "I gave it.."

I'm shaking my head now too, because he's obviously not listening . I need to spell it out for him. "Because you thought we were more than.. well... going to be more than a one-night stand.."

"I still do.."

I snap to silence again then I worry a dry spot on my bottom lip with my teeth as I frown at him. "Still.. do?"

He tilts his head then sighs though slightly parted, moist lips. "Can't we .. write to each other?"

My heart sinks all over again as I know my next words are going to crush that glimmer of hope in his eyes. "No. Black Ops mean .. no contact.. no.. nothing, basically."

"At all?"

I grip his gorgeous face between my hands again and I face him. "I'm sorry, baby..."

I see his jaw clenching and I know his doing that in effort to be strong. When he does speak, his voice is quite shaky but I pretend not to notice. "How about days off? Surely you get..."

But I see the light go out behind his eyes all on its own as he reaches his own conclusion. He knows this is good bye, for forever now. Suddenly he grips me in a crushing hug and his face is buried against my throat.

"God.. Jack.."

I'm pawing at him, trying to comfort him all over again, but it's not working. My resolve crumbles enough for tears to spring to my eyes once more, but like on all other occasions, none would dare fall. I press my face into his silken hair and I exhale deeply. He shudders within my arms and I start to kiss his cheek softly. He sighs and I brush my lips over his stubble. He moans and I start to nip his chin and down his throat. Now his head is back and his throat is arched and I'm like a runaway train, unable to stop, as I stumble him backwards towards the bed and we both fall together, arms and legs grappling to touch and hold the other one last time.

*

We're lying in bed together and I'm well aware of the time. Like a man waiting to be executed, I know each tick of the clock brings me closer to my death. Daniel's head is on my chest, his fingers touching the tags I'm wearing. "I hate these things," he mumbles then looks up at me.

"It's not their fault," I tell him as my fingers trace his face in the dimming light. I curse the darkness as it seeps in to steal us away from each other.

"Okay, well, I hate what they stand for then.." He says, propping himself up onto his elbow on my chest. "I hate the military."

"Right now, so do I," I say as I brush hair from his eyes. "But it's my mistress and my life... It's who I am."

Daniel looks down then up at me again. "Then I hate you, too."

Time freezes as our eyes lock. Nothing but the infernal ticking of the clock is audible right now. He's boring through me with his painfilled eyes and I have only one response for him, "I hate me too, kid," I mutter. Suddenly his face contorts as he vigilantly fights back tears. "No, no.." I whisper as he fights bravely but to no avail, deciding, I gather, to hide his face against mine so that I can't see him instead. I kiss his face repeatedly and, when they finally fall, I taste the salty tears on his cheek. "Oh.. Baby.."

He sobs soundly then his lips brush my ear as he repeats, softly and tearfully, "I hate you, Jack.." He sighs forlornly, "with every fiber of my being..."

I nod as I hug him closer to me, understanding exactly what he is saying despite the words he's used.

// I love you too, Daniel//

I feel his whole body shake with his sudden inhale of breath. He's covering my cheek in small kisses as he slowly makes his way to my mouth. I taste the tears as he plunges his tongue deep inside, killing me with the passion in his searing kiss. I respond with a needful urgency, my own tongue scraping around his mouth, desperate to map every single spec of him so that I don't forget....

I don't know that I will ever kiss like that with anyone else ever again. Right now, I never want to find out. I only want him but I'm aware of the late hour and I still have to shower and shave. Reluctantly I press him back and he looks at me through half-closed eyes as he breathes heavily.

"I need to start getting ready," I tell him. He sighs then nods and rolls off me without any further argument. For some reason that seems strange, but I can't put my finger quite on it, and probably never will.

We shower together and then he watches me shave, telling me how sexy I am when I do that. I don't think I'll ever shave the same way again. Whenever I shave in future I'll remember his blue eyes watching me intently in the mirror as he stands behind me, his hands running up and down my body and burrowing under my towel until it's worked loose and falls from me. With a cheeky smile and a little, "Ooops," his hand starts fondling my already growing shaft again. Then he holds me at the hips and drops to his knees before me. I gasp and grip the hand basin for support as he swallows me, allowing me to grow rigid in his hot, sexy mouth. Soon he has me screaming out and then he cleans me up, diligently mopping up any leftovers with his tongue. Standing again he presses his forehead to mine and whispers, "I'm sorry. I just wanted one last taste..."

One last taste.

I nod and kiss the tip of his nose. "Know how you feel, baby," I mutter as I turn back to the mirror and resume my shaving, only by this time my hands are shaking. I stop, dropping the razor into the sink then I lower my head. He runs his hand across my back as he rests his chin on my shoulder. With more confidence than I thought possible, he says to me, "Jack, this is not good-bye. I refuse to believe that. When you're through, I'll still be here.."

"Where?" I know I sound desperate.

"Here, in this town..." He assures me. I nod but say nothing. No one stays in this town, not if they can help it. And he's a bright kid. What's an Archaeologist and Linguist going to do in *this* town, year in, year out? He continues, "So if you're ever this way again.. Look me up."

I try to smile but I can't. This is so unfair. I feel my finger-hold on the situation slipping, like a person hanging precariously over the edge, their only salvation is the grip of a friend. My hands are slipping, though, and we both know it. He silently picks up the razor and finishes the job I can't bring myself to complete. When he thinks he's finished he wets a face-washer and presses it to my skin. I sigh softly as the heated cloth is peeled from my tender face. He looks at his handy work and smiles. Then he takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom.

I dress slowly, like a man condemned. He dresses beside me, and neither of us say a word. When we are both ready, I gather my duffle-bag and toss it over my shoulder as we move out to the living room. I cast one final eye over my belongings, knowing that Base will send someone in the morning to come and pack up my stuff and store it until my return - if I return. Or ship it on to my new base, my new home.. my new life.

Daniel grabs his bag as well and we step out of our haven - leaving behind what should have been the promise of something fantastic. Shutting the door wasn't as hard as I thought it might be, but that's because Daniel is still beside me. We move off to the car together, still no word spoken then, as we reach my car I whistle, catching his attention.

"You drive," I tell him as I throw my keys across to him.

"Are you sure?" He asks and I shrug.

"Why not. May as well know how to drive your own car..." I say as casually as I can while loading the bag into the trunk. He stammers then looks at me with wide, blue eyes.

"Jack?"

"It's only going into storage, and that's dumb," I say with another nonchalant shrug then continue, "besides, you need it for university. Don't want you catching the bus, never know what might happen..."

He stops and smiles at me. "You sure?" He knows by now that I am, he's just reaffirming.

I nod. It's great to see his smile and to know that a part of me will always be with him, keeping him dry from the rain. As we get into the car I reach for the papers in the glove compartment. I pick up a pen off the floor and I scribble out the New Ownership part of the Registration papers, claiming he paid me three hundred dollars for it. When I tell him that we both laugh and he tells me he was a fool to pay so much!

As we near the base the tension grows between us again. The silence is palpable and I'm sure the thudding of my heart is audible. We're approaching the last turn before the highway that takes us right to the gates. I ask Daniel to pull over and he obeys me instantly, easing the car into the ditch. He shuts off the lights and we sit, in the darkness, our hands touching, fingers entwining as emotions rise within us again.

"Not good-bye, remember that, Jack!" Daniel says with a tear-thick voice.

I nod but he can't see that. So I bring his palm to my lips and I kiss it. "Not goodbye.."

"I know.... right here.." He tugs my hand and places it over his stomach, "I *know* we're destined to meet again.."

Ah, the faith of youth! The innocence.. The belief that if you're a good person, good things will happen to you.

"Be good, Danny.." I tell him, hearing the shake in my own voice now.

"If I can't be good, should I be careful?" He teases.

"I mean - as an Archaeologist, not as a person in general! Follow your beliefs.... You'll knock Academia on its butt!"

He laughs softly beside me. "Not what I want to do, I only want to wake them up a bit, but I'll settle for that ..."

My hand cups his face and we reach for our last kiss. It's slow, meant to last us a lifetime.. Slow, deep, seeking tongues tangle within the moist caverns. All too soon, it's over and we can't repeat it. The traffic is coming in behind us now and I can't risk being seen here like this.

He seems aware of it too as he settles into his seat and starts the engine once more. Waiting for the trail of cars to pass - all heading in the same direction, all members of my team - Daniel turns to me and says, "You be good too, Jack."

"I'll try," I say then we both laugh at the absurd notion. He tugs on the steering wheel and we take off jerkily. He confesses to feeling nervous about driving without a license but he's doing fine.

The car slows at the front gates and we are watched by the men in the guard house. I look at Danny and he at me.

"Bye."

"Bye."

I climb out and, after removing my bag from the trunk, I pat the roof and watch the car drive off smoothly. The kid's finally got the hang of the clutch by the looks of it! I nod at the guards as I pass through the gates, wondering if Daniel felt as lonely as I did right now.

THE END


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