.oOo.

Jack remained where he was, his hands clenching into fists by his thighs as he searched his mind, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. He looked up and watched the blue smoke drift from the upturned face outside as Philip paced the yard slowly. Oddly enough, the thought going through his mind at the moment was 'where did Phil finally find his cigarette lighter?' Jack watched as Philip rubbed his upper arms, obviously chilled in the night air. He turned around and reach out for the rug on the back of the sofa.

"I'm sorry," came the deep voice from the doorway. Jack turned and saw Philip standing on the steps just outside the door leading up into the little yard. He was leaning back against the doorframe, one hand lifted to remove the cigarette as he slowly blew the smoke through his lips. With a flick of his fingers, he'd tossed the almost full cigarette away, then he turned, resting one shoulder against the doorframe as he folded his arms across his chest and looked at Jack.

"And you're apologizing for?" The colonel asked, the rug forgotten in his hands.

With a curious frown, Philip ignored the rug a moment when he said, "for being so screwed up?" He came back into the apartment again and pushed the door closed with his bare foot. With a flick of his eyes he looked at the rug. Jack suddenly realized it was in his hands and moved to wrap it around him.

With one arm around him holding the blanket on his shoulders, Jack looked down at the man side on to him now. "You're not screwed up! You're one of the most level people I know!"

Without looking up to meet the eyes he knew were intently focussed on him, Philip scoffed. "Yeah? I flirt with you all night, then the minute you kiss me, I freak on you. That's *not* screwed up?"

Gripping his shoulders, Jack swung him around to face him. He saw it again - the fear. The horrible truth that this man had avoided this type of intimacy for so long because he was scared of the outcome. Of course the kid was screwed up, Jack thought. Who wouldn't be?

"Like I was much help?" He told him gently with a braver smile than he realized he could muster. " I touched you. I hugged you, for crying out loud!" Philip smiled, showing that he really liked that hug. "And I was the one that kissed you.." Jack said, lowering his voice to a low whisper.

Another smile flitted on Philip's lips. "Best damn kiss I've had in a whole year."

Jack smiled then realized something. "Hang on, you've been celibate a year and a *half*."

Philip's smile broadened, feeling the elastic of tension loosen around them once more. "I haven't had sex in a year and a half, Jack. I have kissed... No statistics have proved that you can get this by kissing, unless there's cuts and abrasions in the mouth.. and blood.. and.." he stopped himself, realizing it was more information than the older man really needed.

"I know what the stats say." The colonel nodded, then he tugged the blanket around Philip more. The dark eyes looked up at him again, capturing him within their depths once again.

With a shrug, Jack nodded. "I do a High Risk job, Phil. I'm constantly being checked for disease myself and being sent to lectures by the Doc on them."

Philip blinked then his lips tugged with a small smile. He'd always sensed Graham's job was a little more exciting than Star- Gazing. "Deep Range Telemetry is High Risk?"

With a wisp of a smile, Jack tugged the blanket around the smaller man and joked, "it can be brutal at times!"

They both gave a soft laugh then Philip dipped his head, and Jack searched over the shiny, black hair then around the room, unaware he pulled Philip closer of a tight hug until the younger man was well within his arms. They sighed simultaneously and then Philip stepped back, looking up at Jack again.

The colonel's finger tips touched the cheek, then toyed with the stubble edging the jaw line as he kept holding the blanket around the younger man's shoulders. Philip allowed his eyes to close on the contact, enjoying the caress as if it was over his whole body, and Jack watched as his mouth opened slightly, his pink tongue restless once more. Moving his fingers, Jack smoothed them across the dry lips again, tugging at the malleable mouth as he studied the upturned face.

In an awe-filled whisper barely louder than a breath, he said, "For crying out loud!" The quiet remark drew Philip's eyes open again.

"What?" he asked, his perfect mouth turning up with a smile.

"You do realize that we're on thin ice here, don't you?"

Philip captured the colonel's fingers in his mouth, trapping the rough digits between his teeth and smoothing his tongue across the surface of their tips. Jack body exploded internally, tendrils of warm tingles snaked down his limbs, gripping his thighs and sprinkling like stardust over his groin.

"Oh god! Listen to me.. I *hate* cliches!! This is your fault!"

Jutting his chin upwards, Philip spat the fingers out and smiled. "What can I do to help you here?"

Jack stared at him, his chocolate eyes growing larger. The younger man laughed.

"I mean, if I tell you that I steal the blankets, or that I snore.. would that help?"

"It's err.. well..." Jack scratched at his cheek then shrugged, suddenly losing all his playfulness. "No. Not really."

Philip gave a somewhat confused laugh, caught between the fun and the sudden seriousness of the older man now.

"Because, in fact," Jack added, now earnest, "it implies that you want me to hang around long enough to .. find.. out."

Philip's smile faded as he stared at him. What was it he saw in those chestnut eyes? His own large owlish eyes blinked slowly. "I have to be honest with you Jack, I do. I really do..."

The colonel shrugged. "But that poses a problem.."

Nodding, Philip said, "My health.."

Jack cringed as he gave a soft growl then shrugged as he said, "Actually I'm thinking of *someone* in particular.."

Philip lowered his eyes. How stupid! He might have forgotten in all the fun and flirting, but Jack hadn't - obviously! Which just went to show him that while he took this all seriously, Jack certainly didn't. He sighed and said, "Daniel," at the same time Jack was saying, "Graham."

"Daniel?" Jack frowned.

"Graham?" Philip frowned too. Shaking his head, the younger man pushed his hands through his long hair and growled when the fruitlessness of the situation was finally realized by him. "This is bizarre! It's never going to work!"

Never one to admit to a winless situation even when it was staring him in the face, Jack shrugged and asked, "Why?"

"Jack, I have HIV. You can't stand my brother, who I just happen to live with, and to top it all off, you're really in love with another guy!"

They stared at each other a long moment and the lack of denial proved to the younger man that he was right. Philip pressed his lips together as he sighed and leaned down on the back of the sofa. Poking his finger into the material of the sofa, he said in a quiet voice, "I guess that's the biggest hurdle. We got carried away, weren't really thinking and just forgot - we *both* seemed to forget - that you 'love' Daniel.."

After a few heartbeats of stunned silence a nervous smile flittered across Philip's lips then turned into a bitter sad smile before he pressed himself up of the back of the seat and went to his room.

.oOo.

Knocking on the door softly, Jack poked his head into Philip's bedroom. The younger man was sitting at a desk in the corner of his room, a stick of charcoal in his hand, and he was sketching. Jack went over to him, standing behind him and looking at the picture. It was him.

"Good likeness," he said, surprised by how good it was considering it was from memory.

Pressing the ball of his hand into his eye, Philip muttered, "thanks.."

Seeing the movement Jack placed his hand on his shoulder, "you okay?"

Shaking his head, Philip sighed and tossed the charcoal stick onto the desk, then scrunched up the picture in his hands before tossing it into the bin. Jack's hand squeezed the shoulder firmly.

Looking back at him, Philip looked at Jack through doleful eyes. The standing man saw a smudge of charcoal on the artist's cheek and brushed his fingers over it. Philip rose to his feet and abruptly captured Jack's hand in his then rubbed it against his cheek. The colonel's breath hitched at the genuine show of affection as he watched the dark eyes stare at him, hope eternal despite the truth.

"Daniel's a fool not to love you...." He whispered, closing his eyes and turning his face to kiss Jack's palm. The colonel felt a tingle emanate from his stomach, sweeping down onto his groin. The large eyes fixed onto him once more as Philip sank slowly back onto the stool behind him. "Will you do me one last favor?"

Jack shrugged as he asked, "what?"

"Kiss me again."

With a casual raise of his brow, Jack belied the heart thudding in his throat now as his mouth opened a little, about to say something but nothing came out.

Lowering his eyes, Philip said, "it's perfectly safe. Like I said earlier you can't get it-" He never finished the sentence as Jack cupped his face, pulled him towards him and engulfed him in a spine tingling kiss before he knew it.

Stepping closer to the sitting man Jack cradled his head in both hands, like it was some kind of delicate crystal object, to be handled with care as he gently kissed him Sucking in a lungful of air through his nose, the unprepared man dissolved within the kiss, his hands finally coming to life and reaching out to lie lightly around the waist before him.

Jack's hands shifted, to press his palms against the upturned jaw, his fingertips dancing lightly over the cheeks as he stepped closer again, pressing Philip between his body and the desk behind him. The hard wood abutting his back aroused the younger man more as he ran his hands over the rounded butt easily within reach, aching to hold Jack closer. He wrapped his legs around Jack's thighs, tugging him closer until the colonel's knees leaned against the front of the stool, his thighs easily feeling the hard groin they were pressed against. The kiss, intoxicatingly soft, sent tendrils of desire throughout both men and soft moans escaped them as they lost themselves in the heady, but tender, moment.

They pulled back slightly, small kisses parted them, but Jack's nose remained against the soft dark cheek, his ragged breath puffing over Philip's lips - matching the aroused pants of the younger man.

"Thank you," Philip whispered, his lips brushing Jack's as he spoke. The colonel jerked his head back, trying to focus on the 'too close' face now.

"About Daniel..." Jack's breathless voice was a hoarse whisper.

"Yeah?"

"I'm not anticipating a reconciliation..."

"So I'll do in a pinch?" Philip asked dryly, his dark eyes tracing over the slightly blurred features in the dimly lit room.

"You mean more to me than that!" Jack hissed through his clenched teeth, his lips aching to touch with Philip's again.

"An hour ago you told me you loved Daniel-"

"Three hours ago I didn't even know you existed!" Jack said breathlessly, his lips skimming the other soft full mouth.

"And now..?"

Jack's heart throbbed in his throat as he whispered, "and now I want you to shut up.."

Whatever response Philip gave to that was muffled by Jack's lips pressing onto his again. They leaned back against the desk once more, Jack's hand moving down the chest then followed up one of the thighs wrapped around his hips, pausing briefly on the knees before he slipped it back to the waist again. A deep moan escaped him as he pressed down onto the hard groin further and at the same time slipped his tongue into Philip's mouth. He ignored the hands pressed against his chest suddenly in light rejection as he cupped the back of the silken black head, grinding their mouths together until both suffered light headedness - whether from arousal or lack of oxygen they couldn't be sure, but Jack pulled back, sucking in deep lungfuls of air.

Philip remained leaning back against his desk, his legs still loosely wrapped around Jack's hips, his hands still pressed against the older man's chest. He looked up into the face looking down at him. "You are very good at that," he said with a big smile.

Jack gave a laconic smile. "I'd say 'I practice' but I don't think that's quite the right response."

Philip laughed, his fingers moving over the t-shirt and discovering that beneath that black material was a hairy chest. His skin tingled at the thought. Jack's hand ran down the thigh again, gripping the leg just above the knee while he supported his weight on his other out-stretched arm resting on the desk top. He reached forward and kissed Philip's throat, causing the other man to catch his breath at the unexpected move. Jack's lips brushed over the throat, stretched back to give him plenty of room and he felt the thighs tighten around him once more. In response he squeezed Philip's thigh. The younger man moaned softly as he squirmed on the seat while Jack worked his way to the other side of his throat, moving and brushing his own stubbled cheek against the smooth part of the face.

Suspended between the desk under his back and Jack's hands holding his butt, Philip tightened his legs, squeezing the still standing man against his groin. Jack slipped one knee onto the stool, effectively wedging it under Philip's butt and supporting him, leaving one hand free to wander over the heaving chest, down onto the dip of the soft stomach and onto the burgeoning shorts, gripping the solid shaft in his fist. Philip gasped as his hand flung out, knocking over a jar of pens, pencils and paint brushes, some of them rolling on the slight incline of the desk and onto the floor unnoticed by either man as Jack lowered his face and rubbed his cheek against the cloth covered shaft. Philip arched up towards the touch, his foot supporting him on the stool now. Jack's teeth grazed over the material, his warm breath could be felt through the cloth and tingles webbed their way throughout the artist's body. Slipping further onto the inclined desk, Philip was able to support his whole weight on the desk top, his feet dangling over the edge, one resting on the stool. Jack, still kneeling on the stool on one knee reached over him, his hand pushing the t-shirt up, exposing the dark trail of hairs from Philip's navel to his still hidden groin. The colonel's tongue flickered over the dark, stringy hairs, moving up to rim the navel and send spindles of arousal throughout Philip's body. His groin twitched against Jack's throat as he moaned softly, rolling his head side to side on the sketch pad beneath him while Jack's tongue plundered the tiny indentation on the perfectly flat, dark skinned stomach.

Sliding his legs up the side of the colonel, Philip moved them until they passed the broad shoulders and he could squeeze Jack's head gently between his thighs. Moving them back, he effectively pulled the colonel away from his stomach and at the same time, shifted up into a sitting position, slowly dropping his feet to the floor again as he sat on the edge of the desk now. Jack's hand cupped over the small ear, his thumb brushing the rounded cheek lightly. Philip gripped the front of Jack's black top in his hand and with a twist of his wrist, he'd gathered it tightly, pulling Jack closer. Philip swallowed hard and dried his mouth as best he could before their lips met once more, soft and gently bouncing off each other's then the mouths parted simultaneously as they closed in for a deep, luxurious kiss.

Go to Next Part