Just dreaming… 

Jack now knew he loved Daniel. He’d loved him for years.  He couldn’t pinpoint the exact time but sometime between ‘Hello’ in the cold Missile Silo and turning to leave him on Abydos, the geek had grown on him.  Having to go and retrieve him a year later and getting the opportunity to see for himself how much he’d changed, only pricked Jack’s interest.  A year of hard toil and bright sun had toned Daniel into a strapping man, the muscles not hidden beneath the heavy layers of clothing.  His face was still framed with that mop of hair, only it was longer now, and obviously cut with a blunt instrument – probably by a doting wife.  And threaded through it were strands of pure gold, which highlighted when he walked in the sun as he led them across the dunes to the Abydos Chamber - to show them the wall of their future.  

 He dealt with him at the time with the same way he dealt with many others he worked with - using professional disinterest.  Yet something spurred him to take him into his home, offer him a place to stay until he got onto his feet.  Which took the scientist about two weeks to do.  He seemed to be in some god-awful hurry to get out of Jack’s home and after weeks of sharing the bathroom, Jack was happy to see him go.  Not in a bad way, but the colonel needed to reclaim back what was his, because he was starting to become too willing to share it with the geek.   

For the first few days after Daniel had moved out, Jack missed their early morning routine before work -the way they’d unintentionally brush past each other as they made way in the bathroom for the each other.  He missed the way he’d find Daniel’s boxer shorts in his wash and have to hang them on the line beside his own, to flap together in the breeze. He missed just being together in the evenings after work, winding down and watching a ball game while discussing the evils of the Goa’uld with someone who truly understood.

So he might not have known what it was, but he knew what he missed. It was, plainly, Daniel – and Daniel’s company.  But if you were to ask him, and in all honesty, Jack could not have explained his feelings back then.  All he knew was the geek was growing on him more.  A lot more! 

It was that knowledge that wouldn’t allow him to leave Daniel behind on Ernest’s world.  How could he leave this man, a man who wasn’t even close enough to be counted as a best friend but seemed so much more - how could he turn and leave him a second time?  There was no promise of love on this world for him, no companionship.  He would have been bitterly lonely.  Jack couldn’t, in all consciousness, go and leave him there to suffer the same fate, if not worse, that Ernest had.  He didn’t analyze it too much, it was a gut instinct, and he’d have done the same for any other member. Of course he would have.  Wouldn’t have he?

So he worked with Daniel, watched him grow into a good team player and even learnt a little from him along the way.  That was why, when Daniel died on Nem’s world, Jack couldn’t get over it.  Without intention, Nem had forced Jack to assess his feelings.  One night, waking from a fitful sleep with sweat over his body and tears in his eyes, Jack knew that his frustrations were not for leaving a man behind, but because that man was Daniel. He finally had a name for his feelings.  Affection.   He had genuine affection for Daniel. 

It must have been the affection that made him worry more for Daniel than for the others on Hadante.  Ensuring Daniel was safe from prospective troubles, he removed Daniel’s glasses for him, carefully ridding him of a ‘weak point’.  He wondered if Daniel felt the same squeak of ‘something’ that he had as he slipped the frames off his face that day, watching as the blue eyes blinked and contorted to regain focus without the lenses.  Suddenly, for some unexplainable reason, he was tempted to drop a kiss onto the end of Daniel’s nose.  As one would a favorite child’s nose almost.  Instead he returned to his duty, and left Daniel in the protection of Teal’c to look around his Botany Bay.  The first opportunity after they got back, Jack went home and looked up Botany Bay - and Sydney, Australia, on the Internet.  Just out of interest! 

Jack wasn’t sure if Daniel truly ever understood the effect that the linguist’s passionate pleas had on him that day he refused to go through the gate and leave Jack alone, unable to communicate after his run in with the Ancients.  Without the ability to communicate in English anymore Jack still managed to recognize the twitch in his groin when Daniel looked across the table at him.  So totally isolated within his own head, the blue eyes cut through all the mud and mire and reached right down into his soul that day.  That was the first time Daniel made him hard. 

And it grew from there, if you’ll pardon the pun. Watching Daniel help the confused and dying host of a vile Goa’uld that not only stole his wife but impregnated her as well, made Jack proud to call the knowledgeable man his friend.  Staying around to watch the pink lips speak the ancient language filled Jack with an uncomfortable sensation, one that he did not instantly recognize.  Again, the gentleness and care of his friend made him tingle in his groin; a soft sensation that wasn’t so much arousal but interest.  Add that to the admiration, pride, respect and affection that he already felt for the scientist and Jack finally had another name for his conglomeration of feelings.   He just refused to acknowledge it yet.

But time after time, -almost losing him to Machello, the passion in the argument about killing a race of people because of one false step, Jack’s own fear of being made into a Goa’uld host, they all added a new string to the music in the colonel’s heart. 

When he thought Daniel was going crazy, fear made him mute.  Fear made him distance himself for ‘fear’ of revealing his true feelings for the insane man.  And fear is what kept him up at night, tears of fear in his eyes, unable to be shed because that would mean acknowledging that there was more to his feelings for Daniel than he had the right to allow.

On and on, it’s been growing, right up until now, weeks after the death of Sha’re, weeks of watching this man walk around in mourning, seeing the tears within the blue eyes that shouldn’t be there. 

Now, finally, he had a name for it.  Love!

He wanted Daniel to know that he was still loved.  That there wasn’t anyone in this world, or any other, that could love him like he loved him.  Who had taken the time to grow to know him so intimately, to watch and learn from him like Jack had? 

He wanted to scoop the broken man into his arms and hug him, to whisper soft words of comfort into his ear, to show him that he wasn’t walking alone in this world.  But Jack had no rights.  He wasn’t even sure if it was a physical love or not.  He had to admit that while he twitched in Daniel’s presence sometimes, he’d actually never fantasized about being with him – sexually.  The sight of Daniel without clothes on didn’t excite him as much as watching those eyes squint and seeing that brain of his work overtime at solving a pictograph or an ancient scribing on a dusty wall on some far off world.  Jack was as much in love with his brain as his brawn - which, he had to be honest, was impressive too.

So no fantasies of a romp in his bed ever filled Jack’s thoughts, but he did have one pretty persistent recurring dream - of kissing him!  Long, deep, arduous and sensual.  Soft and gentle.  Breathlessly frantic.  Ultimately mind blowing.

The best thing about this dream was he was on the outside, watching the two of them from the side.  And it was always the same view.  There was no beginning or no end to the kiss within the dream either.  Just two faces pressed together, lips entwined and breath ragged from arousal.  That was it.

When writing a report in his office he would steal a moment to close his eyes and image Daniel’s mouth against his own.  Always the same view – from the side so that he could see the way the tip of Daniel’s nose pressed against the curve of his cheek.  The frames of the glasses dented his skin where they were trapped between the faces and the lens smoothed out the skin as it pressed against it. 

Jack loved to let his mind drift during debriefings.  But not during Daniel’s part – never during Daniel’s part! He would watch him intently, watch the way the lips moved as he talked, see the way the space monkey caught his bottom lip between his teeth as he gave the group an expectant smile while waiting for their feeble minds to catch up to his own.  No, Jack always listened to Daniel’s debrief, and sometimes, he even understood what was being utter from those perfectly pink pouty lips.

He would sit and stare at the man adjacent to him at the table. No one was aware of this, not even Jack, as he drifted in and out of his dream like state, reliving that dream while watching the real thing before him.  Daniel wouldn’t notice because he was turned to listen to Sam and her techno-babble that Jack loved so much. After all, it gave him the perfect opportunity to watch Daniel and not be noticed. 

Sometimes, when Daniel was engrossed in what Sam was muttering about, he would unintentionally swipe at his bottom lip with his small pink tongue.  And Jack was always there to catch the action.  It reminded him of the dream.  The glimpses of tongue that could be seen through the corners of the parted mouths as they languidly explored each other with their tongue.  Jack eyes rolled shut on this image, he lowered his head and allowed it to bounce lightly on his clasped hands before him.  Daniel was there again, in his mind’s eye.  His lips pressed to Jack’s, as he gave a soft laugh, the edges of his lips curling in a smile but the touch never breaking.  Jack gave a soft grunt, both in the dream and in real life as he saw the gorgeous way Daniel tilted his face and captured the lips more fully this time, sucking Jack’s tongue deeply into his mouth. 

//Oh god!// Jack groaned to himself as he sat trapped in a debrief, the vivid image acting out in his mind again.

“Colonel? Is there something you want to add to this debrief?” Hammond asked, when he heard the soulful grunt beside him.  

//No, not really. Pass on me, I think!  I’m just going to stay here and kiss .. Danny…. Some.. oh god, he tastes like .. like….//

“Colonel O’Neill!!  What are you doing!”  Hammond snapped, when he heard more soft moans from the man with his head down beside him.

Jack’s head shot up and he blurted out- “Kissing!” -before blinking hard and looking around the room, stunned by the stunned faces staring back at him.

“What?” He asked innocently, unaware that he’d blurted anything out.  He turned to the General.

“You don’t know, Colonel?”

“No,” Jack said, shooting the others a sideways glance then back at Hammond.  The older man got up and went to his office while Jack looked at the others.

“What?” He asked, holding his arms out in question. 

Daniel wet his lips quickly then said, “You just said you were kissing…”

A hot prickle went up the older man’s spine.  “No, I didn’t!” He said, most definitely.

“Yes, you did!”

“Didn’t!”

“Did!”

“Didn’t!!”

“Did,” Daniel said then was cut off by Sam suddenly interrupting the pettiness. 

“Hang on!” She called out to get their attention then held one hand towards Jack.  “We know what we heard, sir!”

Jack stared at her a long moment then pulled a face before looking down at the yellow note pad under his clasped hands.

“Who were you kissing, Colonel?” She went on to ask.  Jack looked at her, then at Teal’c and finally onto Daniel, before he looked down at his hands again.

“No one!”

“Were too!” She said. He looked up at her.

“Were not!”

“Were too!”

“Were not!” 

“Begging your pardon Sir,” she said, then Daniel chimed in with;

“And with all due respect!” he said it like he was offering her help.  Help she gladly took as she nodded and looked at Jack. 

“ALL due respect,” she reiterated.  Jack looked at the two of them now. 

“Your tongue was indeed toying within your mouth, O’Neill,” Teal’c added without judgement.

The colonel shot him a dagger look before screwing his nose up and saying, “was not!”

Teal’c arched his brow severely.  “You will not engage me in a battle of words, my friend.”

The older man stared at him a long moment then shrugged and looked down at his hands. 

//Aww, nuts!// He sighed to himself.  There was no getting out of this!

“Who was it, Sir?” Sam asked quietly.  Jack looked at her then saw the blush on her cheeks.

“Oh, fercryingoutloud! It wasn’t you!”

Her eyes grew wide as he brow arched towards her fringe.  “Oh!?”

“Then who?” Daniel asked, tilting his head and looking far too cute for words.

Jack stared at him a moment then shrugged.

“You!”

“Me?”

“Yeah!”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

“Oh,” Daniel said, blinking quickly but saying nothing more.

Jack looked around the room at the others then tapped the notebook in front of him.  “Now, can we please get back to this?”

“No, I don’t think so, Jack,” Daniel said.

“Why?” Jack frowned.

Daniel looked at the others then he slowly pushed himself up out of his chair and rounded the table to approach Jack.  The older man froze as he stared at the intensity within the blue eyes. 

Daniel straddled Jack’s lap as he squeezed himself between Jack and the table, until his butt rested on the edge of the table, Jack’s knees between his thighs.

The colonel looked up at him, and Daniel cupped the under side of Jack’s chin lightly. 

“Ah, Danny!” He said in a weak protest as he was gently coaxed from his seat into a standing position, still between Daniel’s thighs. The feather light touch guided him right up to his feet until his mouth was mere inches from Daniel’s lips. 

“You sure about this?” Jack asked, frowning deeply.

Daniel gave a seductive smile as he nodded.  “I’m sure!”

The nervous colonel flicked a quick look to the others in the room.  “With an audience?”

“Who can see anything but the color of your eyes?” The linguist said softly as his fingers lightly stroked the under shaft of Jack’s neck.  The touch was instantly making him hard and for the first time, Jack fantasized about slipping his hands over Daniel’s body, over the well-formed pecs and down to that hard groin. 

As Jack’s lips pressed against Daniel’s the older man knew he was in heaven.  His whole body sparked as he felt the light brush of Daniel’s chest against his own.  The time had come to face facts for Jack.  He was in love with this man; heart, mind body and soul.  What he wouldn’t give right now to lie Daniel back onto the table and make incredible, passionate love to him….  But they did have an audience. 

Daniel’s tongue snaked into Jack’s mouth and the older man instantly tasted coffee.  Daniel tasted like coffee – what a surprise! Their slippery tongues caressed and danced and jousted for what seemed an eternity.  Jack realized he was making that soft grunting noise again at the back of his throat – but he didn’t care! He was kissing Daniel Jackson.  What was more, he could finally taste him and he also discovered that what he wanted from this man was sex! Sex, sex and more hot, consuming, body zapping sex!

He started to push Daniel back onto the table when he heard Hammond’s tinny voice cry out to him, “Colonel O’Neill, what are you doing?”

//Kissing Daniel, what’s it look like?// Jack snapped back at him in his mind, but didn’t dare break the kiss.  It was 100 times better than his imagination and his groin was as solid as it could possibly be.  He grunted again as he tried to get even closer to the good looking man. 

“Colonel O’Neill!!  I won’t ask you again! What are you doing!?”  Hammond demanded to know.  Jack slowly opened his eyes and he saw the sharp, beady blue ones staring back at him. 

Blinking quickly, he stared across the table at the two sets of blue eyes staring back at him.  More importantly, he stared right into Daniel’s eyes - on the other side of the table - where he’d been sitting the entire time! 

Jack dropped his chin to his chest, as he mumbled, “what was I doing?”

“Yes, Colonel!” Hammond nodded.  “What were you doing!?”

Jack shot a quick look at the totally unaware anthropologist.  He sighed heavily then looked at Hammond.

“Dreaming, Sir.  I was … just… dreaming!” He said, with a flourish he opened the note book in front of himself and started to take notes.

  THE END