The Christmas Gift

Daniel Jackson carefully wrapped an ancient artifact in padding before laying it gingerly onto the bottom of a box on his desk. He was growing aware of the sound of familiar footsteps coming along the hallway outside his office. The sound of the whistle was unmistakable too and the cheerful rapping of knuckles on the door clearly identified his caller without a shadow of a doubt. Even before he heard the voice, Daniel knew Jack had just entered his office. And he knew he was in good humor - not something Jack had been recently, following the unexpected death of his much beloved mother two and a half months ago...

When Maude O'Neill died in late September Jack's world was rocked. He was on P3x4301 when Feretti came through, looking as white as a sheet. He wasn't meant to tell Jack anything, he was just meant to get him back to the Base where Hammond had the unpleasant duty of informing him that his mother had suffered a massive coronary and died instantly on the floor of her kitchen.

However, as soon as Jack was recalled he started badgering Feretti to find out why his team was being pulled from the high priority mission. Daniel, he’d argued passionately on behalf of his annoyed friend, had put a lot of work into his speech, for crying out loud! Feretti was adamant though, and didn’t say a thing, just kept telling him that his orders were to bring SG-1 ‘home’ ASAP.

Finally, as they reached the gate, Jack gripped the smaller man by the collar and shook him until he choked out the news. Sam and Daniel both were ready to catch Jack, he'd gone so pale. Suddenly Jack turned on Daniel, yelling at him to get the damn gate open, but everyone knew by then it was too late.

Back at the base Jack didn't even wait for Hammond's version. He rushed straight through the crowds heading for the elevator. He threatened anyone who got in his way as tears streamed down his face while he pushed and shoved his way towards the surface. Hammond had no choice but to allow Jack to go, hoping with all his might that the team didn't pick anything up on the mission that might harm the rest of the world. Fraiser put his mind to rest, somewhat, reminding him that the team had been through to this world before, and all test results were negative then. On that news, Hammond waved his hand and dismissed the rest of Jack's team, the three of them scrambling for the elevators and up to the surface with him.

The next few weeks after that were tough. Jack, who normally kept his feelings behind a locked door, was even more withdrawn. He flew to be with his family and stayed longer than he'd been allowed to, but Hammond didn't reprimand him for that. He simply put Sam in charge of SG-1 and they carried on their missions without the colonel. When he returned home again, each one of his team went by his house to check on him. The only one that made it through the door was Daniel. Jack gave his reasons for that. Teal'c wouldn't understand and Sam was his subordinate. Daniel, his only real peer in the team, was the only one Jack seemed to be able to allow near him during this time of mourning.

Then last week, after things were starting to settle down to some kind of normality again, Jack asked every member of his team up to the O'Neill Family Cabin for the Christmas break. He never said why he'd invited them this year, and never before, but they all thought it might have something to do with Jack not being quite ready to face his family so soon after Maude's death. All three agreed there and then, and Jack's smile remained on his face that day.

So, as he wafted into Daniel's office that morning, a cheerful skip in his step and a light-hearted tone in his voice, Daniel greeted him with relief. As the anthropologist lifted his face, a smile ready set in place, he was surprised by the vision before him. Jack had lost the telltale dark circles under his eyes that one usually got following a session of mourning. Instead, before him was a man who looked like he might have stepped off the pages of a fashion magazine. He wore a rough-hued, beige sweater, his hair was lightly tousled like he'd run his hand through it just before stepping into the office, and he was wearing faded denim jeans. Daniel couldn't recall the last time he saw Jack in denim. He often wore beige pants to work but they did not suit him nearly as much as this outfit did! In fact, Daniel thought as he stood there, mouth-agape slightly while he stared at his friend, Jack looked good enough to eat! Diverting his eyes before the drool had a chance to hit his chin, Daniel tried to occupy his hands and mind, and all the time he was asking himself: Why, oh why did Jack O'Neill have to keep improving with age? Why couldn't he just grow 'old' like others.. not 'better'!

"So.. Daniel," Jack said as he gleefully clapped his hands together then rubbed the palms against each other.

"So.. Jack.." Daniel returned in a well-practiced voice. He knew how to hide his choking secret from his friend. He'd been doing so for over a year now.

The colonel arched a brow as he held his hands out towards him now. "You don't 'look' very ready..." He ended his sentence with a sharp shrug as he dropped his hands to his thighs, letting them slap loudly against his jeans.

"You .. noticed that, huh?" Daniel muttered and smiled wistfully before turning to the box, seeking some kind of distraction from the little faded pouch at the front of Jack's jeans, revealed when the older man lifted his arms up and, in turn, raised the hem of the sweater slightly.

Jack cocked his head slightly to the side as he stepped up to his friend's shoulder. "You're not going to pull out on me, too. Are you??" He asked as he peered into the box. As soon as he put his hand into the box, curious to discover what was under all that wrapping, Daniel slapped it away quickly, giving him a dirty look.

"Too?" The younger man asked finally when his brain had time to review the conversation. Jack's chocolate-brown eyes flittered towards Daniel then back at the wrapped item in the box.

Casually flinging his hand beside his head, he told him, "Oh, Teal'c's decided he wants to visit his kid..."

Daniel's brows shot up quickly then he nervously twitched as he tilted his head. "But.. Sam's ...still...?"

"No," Jack said quickly, then dragged his eyes from the box to look at his friend once more. As he shoved his hands into his back pockets nonchalantly, he lifted his chin into the air while saying, "Jacob sent for her about half hour ago. Didn't you hear the alarms?"

Daniel blinked. No, he had not. Not that he'd have given it any thought anyway. Alarms were always going off in that place!

"That's a pity.." The archaeologist muttered. Jack's mouth twitched with a smile, which he instantly lost when Daniel's eyes lifted to meet his again.

"Damn shame. Still, the family will like you," He said, turning towards the box once more. Daniel frowned.

"You still want to go? With just me?" He asked, his voice soft and sincere. Slowly Jack's attention returned to his friend. He looked Daniel up then down, and then met the puzzled blue eyes with another smile.

"Why not?"

With a roll of his eyes, Daniel muttered, "Just thought.. well.. it's a family thing.."

Jack's smile faltered as he frowned and asked, "you trying to break this, too?"

"No!" Daniel said quickly, but in truth, he didn't relish being alone with Jack for three days. It would be easier with Sam and Teal'c there - well, with Sam there - she'd probably distract Jack so much he'd forget 'he' was even there. Touching his fingers to his mouth briefly, Daniel lowered his face. Jack's frown grew as he watched his friend.

Looking up once more, the anthropologist tilted his head slightly as he said, "You really want to spend your Christmas with me?"

The smile returned to Jack's face, creasing deep lines down each cheek and making the dark eyes twinkle in the dull light. "Of course I do," he said in a deep and sincere voice. Daniel felt himself smile involuntarily, then he dipped his face for fear that Jack should see how much this act of friendship meant to him.

Looking around the room when the silence grew too awkward, Jack asked him, "How much longer do you need?"

"Huh?" Wide, blue eyes stared through round lenses.

"To get ready?" Jack said as he waved his hand towards him. "Or are you intending to meet my family in your uniform?"

The absent-minded scientist looked down at himself. He was still in his green fatigues from the briefing that morning. With an apologetic smile, he shrugged. Jack grinned.

"How about I meet you in fifteen? In the commissary?"

"Why the commissary?"

The older man shrugged. "I'm hungry."

"Ah!" Daniel folded his arms across his chest.

Jack looked briefly at the box then at him. "Fifteen?"

Daniel nodded. Jack backed off, also nodding as he went, then he turned and headed back down the hall, his whistle growing faint as he moved further away.

The troubled man's eyes fluttered as he dissolved a little, worrying about how he was meant to endure the flight to the cabin then spend the following few days with Jack's family.

Daniel recalled the year just gone ~ a year in which his friendship for Jack had grown into love. Since the debacle about the 'rouge' SGC teams, when Jack masqueraded as someone who'd gone dark-side on them all, Daniel had noted how attentive his friend had seemed to become. Jack was forever inviting him to dinner after that, or to catch a game or, more rarely, suggesting he bring a video and some pizza and spend the night at Daniel's place instead. The anthropologist didn't fault his friend on his attention. In fact, if Daniel was honest, all the attention Jack lavished on him of late was what had started to give him thoughts of grandeur regarding their relationship. Because Jack was being so attentive to his needs, taking him to dinner and insisting on paying for the check, Daniel was left with mixed feelings. On one hand he reasoned that Jack was merely trying to buy his way back into his good books. On the other hand, and he'd sincerely wished this was the truth, he thought that perhaps Jack was 'courting' him... discreetly.

On days when he was realistic, however, he knew he didn't stand a chance with Jack O'Neill. Especially considering how the relationship between Sam and Jack seemed to building up into something he had no way of preventing. He tried to ignore it all at first, even mentioning it to Jack in a gentle, teasing way. Jack's answer was strictly military, of course. He said that while he was her commander nothing would eventuate between them. Daniel could only take certain solace in that. It meant he wouldn't have to watch the two of them holding hands as they passed through the gate, but what it didn't rule out was the option of Jack retiring early to be with her instead.

Which was one of his concerns that day when he went around to discuss Jack's 'early retirement' with him - and then found out that nothing he'd based his trust on seemed to matter anymore. The foundation of their friendship was sinking - fast - into the mire. He wasn't sure, as he drove home stunned by the bitter conversation, what he'd ever done to be treated with such contempt by his ‘friend’.

All he'd ever offered Jack was friendship and yet, it seemed, the man sort of despised him for his loyalty. The words, 'you're a bright man, you must have sensed some of this' kept floating in his mind. He hadn't sensed *any* of it... He'd just trusted.. And it was thrown back in his face as Jack sat there with that god-awful ugly smug smile and denounced everything he felt was 'true' about them. How Daniel had hated him after that, but it didn't last. Especially not once the truth came out and Jack stepped up his attention. Daniel didn't blame himself though. Jack was full on with his attempts to repair the damage, and Daniel, who had never really despised Jack, began to feel sorry for him, which eventually whittled away the barrier he'd put up until his true feelings were allowed to shine through once more. And shine through they did. Brighter than ever before!

When the incident with Thor's ship happened, and he sat there faced with the prospect of losing Jack for good, he knew his thoughts were compromised. He was emotionally estranged, confused and starved of affection and tenderness. Not that Jack ever gave him any of that, but with one simple smile, Daniel could feel that he'd touched the man in a way no other person ever could, or would. Without Jack for that week he took some solace in the company of Major Paul Davis. Nothing too much, just a few companionable dinner dates and one goodnight kiss in Paul's car while the engine still purred. But it never felt 'right'. Although he was attracted to the young officer, Daniel knew that he was trying to fill a hole with the wrong substance. That's why he never allowed it to progress too far and the day that Jack and the others returned to earth, Daniel only had to take one look at the man on the end of the ramp to know one thing... Somewhere, in the process of forgiving and forgetting what had happened between them he'd falling in love with Jack! When he reached out to touch Teal'c's white strip of beard and Jack slapped him away, Daniel wasn't ever sure if it was to stop him from touching Teal'c.. Or to stop him from touching 'another man' in front of Jack. He fancied the latter, of course!

But then things started to go horribly wrong. Sam got in the way. The two of them exchanged nauseating glances, smirks and secrets that he was not privy to. He tried to ignore the incidents at first, to tell himself it wasn't as it appeared, that Jack was close to them all. He even stooped to reminding himself that Jack never ever invited Sam to his house for beer and hockey.. Not like he had with him on several occasions.

He'd almost convinced himself of all this too, and relaxed with the knowledge that while Sam got the occasional sideways glance and secret smirk from Jack, it was him, Daniel, who got to spend the night, albeit on his sofa, at Jack's place nearly every weekend. That was, until Anise came with that stupid mind probe and they had that ridiculous confession from the two of them. Daniel was left to wonder again, when he wasn’t told by either of them about the incident but had to overhear the gossip around the Base of what had gone on in that room that day instead. That day - while *he * was busy trying to make diplomatic negotiations between Earth and the Tok'Ra High Council - the man he’d fallen in love with was making declarations of caring ‘more than he should’ for Major Samantha Carter. Jack should have told him! It might have hurt less coming from him….

Then there was the 'time loop' that Jack and Teal'c were caught in. Jack wouldn't talk too much about what had happened during a lot of the loops, but he did tell him that 'yes, he kissed Sam' but that he also did something else he'd been longing to do for a long time that he finally got to do - without reproach. When Daniel tried too ascertain what that was, Jack clammed up and wouldn't talk about it again. It didn't matter though. Daniel had his answer. Jack *had * kissed Sam.... It was a concluded thing. Jack would eventually itch too much for her and retire, thereby making himself available to marry her - and keep her career intact. What it also meant was that he would go out of Daniel's life, too. That thought was almost too unbearable for the anthropologist.

Hot on the heels of this was the incident involving Professor Jordan, when he was forced to go back and rekindle some not so warm flames with past friends. Sarah was fine, while she was still herself. But Steven, well, he never seemed to forgive Daniel for walking out on him all those years ago. Daniel knew he had some pretty damaged fences to mend there and after the incident with Osiris he had that opportunity. The SGC acquired Steven and put him in the nearby hospital to recuperate. Daniel went to see him more often than he thought he would and soon things were 'better' between them.

One evening, as they were talking quietly in Steven’s hospital room, Jack walked in, unannounced. Daniel yanked his hand from Steven's so fast the ailing man flinched. Jack looked from Daniel to Steven then back to Daniel again before leaving the room without another word. He managed to move so damn fast that he was at the elevator before Daniel could catch up to him. The conversation did not go well; Daniel felt embarrassed and angry and Jack was tightlipped and, seemingly, furious - the flesh on his throat was ruddy and his eyes were narrow and piercing. While they never discussed the situation again it was clear, Daniel felt, that Jack suspected something between the two archaeologists. This added to Daniel's frustration, because he saw it as Jack's refusal to explore the possibility that ‘something’ was happening between the two of them in the room and that maybe, just maybe, his best friend was gay and wanted to talk about that. But that wasn’t Jack's style, of course! Instead he clamped up and never ventured near that subject again, choosing instead, Daniel supposed, to bury his heterosexual head in Sam’s bosom of understanding instead.

When Steven opted to work at Area 51 instead of joining the SGC, as a Chief Researcher on the artifacts that the SGC teams collected and brought back to base, Daniel felt alone again. There was one consolation though, that while the prospect of a lover was now out of reach he and Jack went back to the camaraderie that they’d always had. But on the edge of everything they shared, Daniel felt, was Sam. He felt her even if Jack never brought her into the conversation or their activities. Whenever Jack wasn’t with him, he knew that the two of them were in clandestine meeting, carrying on in a way that they shouldn’t but that probably added to the excitement for them.

Daniel felt so alone!

So when he received the invitation to the cabin in Minnesota via e-mail as he worked late one evening he waited before responding. At first he wasn't sure about the offer and decided to wait until he knew what the others thought. They were in Jack's office the next day and he asked each of them if they had considered the offer. It came to little surprise to him that Sam agreed almost immediately, teasing Jack by saying that last time ‘she’ let him go somewhere on his own, he ended up saving the world - again! This time, she'd told Jack, he was just going to get some well-deserved R&R. Standing beside her in Jack's office the anthropologist couldn’t help but wonder about how much rest Sam was intending to let Jack have during this, one of the most romantic times of the year.

End of part 1