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Burns / Funny Comments
You're so fat you tripped over 4th street and landed on 12th!
You're so fat when you step on the scale it say "one at a time please"
You're so  fat you have stand in two time zones
You're so fat when I tried to drive around you I ran out of gas
You're so fat Bill Gate can't even pay for your tummy tuck
You're so fat you fell and rocked yourself to sleep trying to get up again
You're so fat  you  fell in love  and  broke it
You're so fat when you layed on the beach the Whale Savers tried to push you back in
You're so stupid you sold your car for gas money
You're so stupid you tried to alphabetize M&Ms
You're so old when I told you to act your own age you died
You're so old your social security number is 1
You're so ugly the government moved Halloween to your birthday
You're so ugly it took a beatician 12 hours... for a quote
You're so ugly your wife/husband takes you to work so he doesn't have to kiss you goodbye
You're so poor you can't even afford to pay attention
You're so bald people can see whats on your mind
You're so bald you took a shower and got brain-washed
You're so smelly that poo is glad to escape
You're so dirty that a sewage facility banned you because of sanitation worries
You're so dirty that Saddam Hussain tried to import your bath water for chemical weapons
You're so stupid that you bought a solar-powered flashlight
You're so stupid that you asked,"Whats the number for 911?"
You're so fat that you're fat on both sides of the family
You're so ugly that when you were born your mother said,"What a treasure!" and your father said,"Let go bury it."
You're so fat that I have to take a train and plane to get to your good side
You're so stupid that it took you 2hrs to watch 60min
You're so poor that you have to lick other peoples fingers at KFC.
You're so fat that the scale says to be continued
You're so fat that a picture of you fell of the wall
You're so ugly that you put the boogie man out of business
You're so stupid  that when your son was born and you saw his umbilical cord
you said,"Hey cable T.V!"
You're so stupid, I saw you yelling in an envelope, asked what you were doing, and you said "I'm sending voicemail"
  You're so stupid that if I paid a penny for your intellegence, I'd get change
You're so ugly that if you went in a haunted house you'd get a pay check
You're so stupid that you went to work at the M&M's factory and through out all the W's
You're so stupid that you put under "Education" on yourjob apllication, you put "Hooked on Phonics."
You're so stupid that you stole free bread
You're so stupid that you got stabbed in a shoot-out
You're so lazy that you have a remote just to operate your remote
You're so small that you got your ear pierced and you died
Your'e so fat that I have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get you through
You're so old that your birth certifacate says expired on it