 |
| 1. I'm an Aquarian. 2. I avoid reading horoscopes. 3. I have green eyes, but they change colour sometimes, varying from almond brown, to chocolate, to hazel to storm cloud grey - depending on my mood. 4. I chose the online nickname jade_stone_ because someone I loved very much said my eyes reminded him of jade. 5. My favourite colour is blue. 6. I have a morbid fear of clowns. No, really, it's true. 7. I used to be an arachnophobic, but the film "Arachnophobia"; eventually cured me. 8. Twice spiders have bitten me. It hurt. They were none lethal species. 9. Jay is short for Jamie - my Mum picked that name from a character in an old Lassie movie; some old guy who is Lassie's master, but he dies, and Lassie pines for him on his grave. Nice one, Mum. 10. From childhood to adulthood, I've shared my life with 2 sheep, 10 dogs, 8 cats, 2 budgies, a magpie, 2 cockatoos, one rosella, one pet gecko (a lizard raised from an egg), one stumpy tailed lizard, several goldfish, 2 rabbits, one guinea pig and numerous goats. 11. The biggest animal I've ever patted was an elephant. She was part of a travelling circus. The circus people said she was mean and dangerous. I slipped behind the tents and patted her anyway. She seemed lonely. She was very gentle and sweet. 12. The same could not be said of the circus folk, who didn't realise I was there, and saw how they treated the animals. 13. I kissed my first boy at the age of 12. Sex followed about 10 minutes later. I would NOT recommend this course of action to others (though it doesn't seem to have done me any great harm). 14. The boy was 17. His name was Chris. He's now married with kids. 15. I was diagnosed in September 1999 with chronic clinical depression. 16. I've been prescribed several varieties of anti-depressants over the past few years. None of them have been effective. 17. A previous drug pushed me to the point where I wanted to peel my skin off with my own teeth. 18. I've been to 3 different therapists in the past 4 years. They were decent people and probably very good at their job, but it just didn?t work for me. 19. Until the age of 19, I was determined to become a Roman Catholic Priest. 20. While I still respect an individual's right to follow their own path where religion is concerned, I have nothing but contempt for the Church, and don't much care for the present Pope. 21. I still have strong, reoccurring urges to join the clergy. 22. I believe in reincarnation. I always have; even as a small child and not having any notion of the word itself or what it meant. 23. While a believer in reincarnation, I have been skeptical of past life regression, and remain so to some degree. 24. I undertook a past life regression session as a favour to a dear friend who needed the practice. 25. I didn't believe anything would happen. It did. 26. I make mistakes all the time about things. And don't mind.... usually. 27. I used to work with intellectually disabled adults. 28. I was very distressed and disturbed to discover that they realised they were viewed as 'different', even 'defective' by other people. I had always assumed they never thought about it. 29. I'm ashamed of myself for not giving them enough credit to realise their own predicament. 30. I am an only child. 31. I was not spoilt while growing up. 32. During the first several years of life, I didn't have much contact with other children. My main source of interaction was with adults. 33. I had an imaginary friend ... a woman with jet-black hair, olive skin, black eyes, a beautiful but a kind of haunted face. Her name was Maggie. 34. Years later I discovered a photo of my Mum's mother which had been hidden away. She had died 8 years before I was born when my Mum was 19, and with whom my Mum had an extremely poor and difficult relationship - the woman in the photo was my 'imaginary' friend. 35. My maternal grandmother's name was Margaret. 36. She suffered from psychological disorders, and spent some time in mental institutions. 37. They gave her shock treatment. 38. It didn't help. 39. My mother told me that after the shock treatment, her mum used to stand outside my mum's bedroom at night, meowing like a cat for no apparent reason. 40. To this day, Mum doesn't like cats very much (my cats are an exception). 41. I think if my grandmother had have been alive today, she would have been diagnosed with severe depression. And they wouldn't have given her shock treatment. 42. I never really knew my Mum until I was eight years old. We weren't close. 43. My Mum had suffered from Postnatal Depression after having me and lived in a constant state of fear that she would hurt me (and sometimes did). 44. To avoid hurting me, Mum kept away from me .... or, kept me away from her by being cold, hard and mean. No one in the (my father's) family offered her support or understanding, instead they painted her as a cruel, callous bitch. 45. My Mum has often asked me to forgive her for what she did. 46. I have never needed to forgive her. There's nothing to forgive. 47. I love my Mum a lot. 48. When I was eight years old, someone tried to strangle me to death. 49. When my Mum was seven years old and living in Melbourne, a strange man came up to her on the street near to five o'clock in the afternoon, and without a word or warning, proceeded to strangle her. 50. At five o'clock, the whistles blew to signal the end of the day; people started to appear on the street. The man let go and ran away. 51. Our experiences brought Mum and I together; we became very close. I discovered she was a nice person, a good person, and I liked her. 52. Growing up I was sexually abused by 3 different individuals - none of them aware of the activities of the other two. 53. I've forgiven them. 54. Two of those people had been abused themselves. 55. It's not an excuse for what they (or any other perpetrator of such acts) did. 56. I grew up with a deep loathing for men. 57. This conflicted with my natural attraction to them. 58. I love to lay in bed at night, listening to thunder and rainstorms. 59. I know a lot of people who have been sexually, physically and/or emotionally abused while growing up. 60. I know a lot of people who suffer from depression. 61. Most of them, if you saw them on the street, or in a cafe, bar or nightclub, you would never suspect that they have depression. 62. I believe good people make mistakes. 63. I don't know if I am a good person, but I do make mistakes, so that gives me hope. 64. I've been in love 4 times in my life. 65. I've been loved (romantically) three times in my life, and consider myself to be extremely fortunate to be able to say that. 3 times out of 4 is pretty good odds, I figure. 66. The guy I loved most, longest and best died 5 years ago. 67. I was assaulted and raped by a so-called friend in my home eight months before he died. I never told him about the rape. 68. I still love him. 69. I never told him I loved him. I regret that every day. 70. I still blame myself for his death. 71. Six months after he died, I took a drug overdose. It wasn't a cry for help. 72. I survived because I made a mistake. 73. After the assault and rape, I calmly saw the so-called friend to the door and wished him goodnight. I then went to the bathroom and had a very long hot shower. 74. I didn't call the police. 75. I remain grateful, in a way, for what happened to me as a child; I firmly believe that past experience enabled me to survive the rape and cope. 76. From a very young age, I've been obsessive about long, hot showers. 77. I have many good friends around me. I wouldn't still be here if it weren't for them. 78. I love my friends very much, but don't tell them as often as perhaps one should. 79. I know that life is short. 80. I like dreaming; daydreams are good too. 81. I have 'pattern nightmares'. 82. I went to a dream skills class to learn how to control my dreams, and subsequently banish the demons from my nightmares. 83. It has helped.. 84. I get insomnia. I can go for days without being able to sleep at all. 85. I love reading and always have a book "on the go". 86. I once had a dream of standing in front of a mirror, and seeing myself transform into a large cat, much like a panther. I then bounded out of an open window and went running across a great expanse of grass and woodlands. 87. I can still remember that feeling of being a big cat; the freedom and exhilaration; the power in my muscles and body, and how the world looked. 88. I wonder if animals dream of being people? 89. I am an optimist and have faith in the essential goodness of human nature. 90. I believe you can't treat others kindly unless you show yourself the same consideration. 91. I would like to be a better person. 92. I've lied, stolen and cheated to get something that I've wanted. 93. I believe in the Universal Law of Karma. 94. I had an accident when I was 18 years old. I was knocked unconscious and suffered head and spinal injuries, as well as extensive nerve fiber damage. 95. On regaining consciousness, I found myself paralysed down the left side of my body. This effect was temporary, lasting only a couple of hours. 96. The amnesia and brain damage lasted longer, as did the nerve fiber damage. 97. I have an extra vertebra in my neck. Doctors believed that this extra vertebra absorbed a lot of the physical shock/impact and subsequently saved my life. 98. I couldn't walk properly because of the nerve fiber damage; I walked like Igor or the Hunchback of Notre Dame, with a very awkward gait or shuffle. 99. I had difficulty speaking clearly, and using words and my comprehension skills weren't much better than those of a 7 year old. 100. Doctors said the brain damage would probably heal. It did. 101. The nerve fibers were a different story. They don't heal or regenerate, if they did, Superman's Christopher Reeve, and thousands like him, would be a very happy man. 102. The doctors wanted to put me in traction for eighteen months. They said my muscles were all going to atrophy or waste away anyway.... 103. I refused and did my own thing, determined to get better. 104. My nerve fibers did heal. No doctor knows how or why. 105. I believe that all things are relative to each other. 106. Apparently I have an IQ of 147. My Dad's is 151. 107. I work in a nightclub, my dad (before retiring) was a motor mechanic in a small country town. 108. I don't have much faith in IQ tests. 109. My alcoholic beverages of choice are - in no particularly order - vodka, lime and lemonade; a vodka Martini (shaken, not stirred); Cosmopolitans, Champagne (particularly with a drop or two of Midori in it), and I'm not adverse to the occasional beer or a Cock Sucking Cowboy. 110. I am very shy by nature. 111. Many people used to see me as the typical "Ice Queen". 112. I played along with that image for a long time; it was easier than overcoming my shyness. 113. I once wanted to be a writer/author. 114. Immediately after the death of my cherished one, I lost any ability I might once have had to write, as well as the passion. 115. When I go out for a drink with friends, I often find it hard to stop. 116. I used to over indulge in recreational drugs - Ecstasy. 117. I don't touch drugs anymore, aside from the very rare joint. 118. I had a dream about an angel. I was standing in a seemingly endless field of thigh high green grass, growing on softly undulating hills. I remember the smell of the air, and how the breeze gently played over the grass. An angel appeared in the sky with large black feathered wings. He had long, flowing locks of raven black hair. He was naked. I don't remember if he had genitals. He spoke to me. He came round behind me, took me in his arms and then lifted us up into the sky, high above the ground. As we flew, he spoke of things to come. 119. I've forgotten almost every thing he said. But I can never forget how real he was, and how it felt to be held in his arms. 120. I believe in angels. |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |