Warnings: Some foul language
C&C: Yes, please!
Musical inspiration: Utena soundtrack
Dedicated to: Jörgen ^_~
Notes: As I suddenly got bitten by a plotbunny, I wrote this down. Is just some
excerpts from the diary of my favorite Shitennou, but I hope it's enjoyable. By
the way, the somewhat erratic punctuation is purposeful, spelling errors not
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Anagram
by Dancing Moon
(dancing_moon@hotmail.com)
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7/1
Weather: Boiling!
Things to do: Call the ambassador from Mercury, write a reprimand to the
Mediterranean Guard, and finally check up that law.
Things I forgot yesterday: Excuse Zoi's behavior to the general of North-Africa,
check up that law what's-his-name keeps nagging about, remind Kunzite to remind
Endymion that the king's birthday is nearing... Have I got a present?
Notes: Everything's usual. The prince is mostly behaving, his teachers say that
he'll be fit for the throne in a year or two. Suppose that means everyone will
heap even more work on us, but I'm getting used to it (which might be a bad
sign)
Besides, there's gotta be a million deaths worse then having a heart-attack at
thirty. I'll write them all down, soon as I think one up
It's official now - Neph is obsessed with his stars. Wouldn't mind one bit, if
he didn't insist on mentioning them in every other sentence. He's being a worry-
wart as well (what else is new)
It's not as if the prince's little flirt with Lady S. will cause a revolution in
case they're found out. Of course, trying to explain that to Kunzite or Neph is
like breaking stone with your teeth.
Lost three pieces of gold to Zoi today, the rat's gotta be cheating somehow!
You'd think that at least the prince would show a little compassion towards my
poor financial situation, but he was to busy staring wistfully at the Moon to
even notice my presence. Ah, young love... may it never infect me!
Got a postcard from Lady M. today (you know you need a life when three lines and
a picture of red rocks is the highlight of your day) She likes the Moon, except
the food. They seem to have a thing about carrots. Also said no one up there has
suspicions about Lady S. and the prince (yet) should make Kunzite happy.
Personally, I take it as a proof that women have no place in politics; how can
the Queen not be suspicious if her daughter has it halfway as bad as Endymion?
Oh, almost forgot, another really, really nice thing happened today - I kicked
Neph's ass at the training field today! About time
Blah, Zoi says I gotta pack my stuff (what do we've got servants for anyway?)
Can at least hope it wont be so damn hot in the mountains, beginning to think I
live inside a frying pan.
15/1
Weather: Rainy, cold, disgusting
Things to do: Fix a birthday present for the king. Write Lady M. Talk to the
commissioner about a tax-raise, get a haircut (Urgent! A moron mistook me for
Zoi from behind)
Things I forgot yesterday: ...Wow, I think I actually got everything done.
Victory!
Notes: Never gonna complain abut living in tropical heat again. This rain, not
to mention the constant sneezing is a lot worse.
The prince and Kunzite are OK again, but this morning Neph woke up with the flu
instead, and proved that there are people who are even more a pain in the ass
then Endymion when they're sick (No.137 on my list of things I never really
wanted to find out)
Around supper, Zoi had had it and threatened to cut him open if he didn't stop
whining; I'll be glad to help him.
Note to self - Find out who made the royal decree about the prince and his
guardians living in connected rooms, separated by nothing but bloody *curtains*
and desecrate his bones.
While I'm at it, look up Kunzite's lineage, because that man can't be human. He
was burning with fever two days back, and he still beat me black and blue at the
training field today. Only good point would be that he did the same with the
moron who dared address me with 'lord Zoisite'. Suffer, bastard!!
Well, it's autumn, and we all know what that means... time to bring in the taxes
(I hate my life sometimes, really)
I seriously think that if I never need to listen to one more lousy excuse about
why lord so-and-so can't pay up this year, I'll die a happy man.
This year, the favorite excuse is of course that there's been a rebel attack.
Man, those rebels must have enough provisions for an entire galaxy with the rate
they've been stealing stuff!
The more creative ones try to spice it up with demons and other monsters that
aid the rebels (I'll send them a Nephrite who's got the flu and a hangover, then
they'll know hellish creatures)
Slightly worried about Endymion, he's still obsessing over the princess... never
seen a fling that lasts this long. Still, Kunzite is overreacting (unless the
sly bastard does have some feelings hidden under all that ice)
He established a warded contact to Lady V. and according to her the inner guard
can't really do anything either. Oh well, we know that our prince stays at this
planet when he sneaks out to meet his girlfriend, they don't have that little
comfort.
Wonder if Lady M. needs a shoulder to cry out her troubles on?
28/1
Weather: -
Things to do: AVOID KUNZITE! And in case he finds me, think up a really good
excuse how come I forgot the King's birthday!
Bribe the gardener who saw Endymion and Lady S
And kill Zoi for spilling perfume on my bed
Things I forgot yesterday: The King's birthday (fuck), picking up my new uniform
at the tailor's, so not only did I forgot his majesty's gift, I show up in
wrinkled clothes. (fuck, Kunzite *is* gonna kill me)
Of course, I also didn't remember to tell the kitchen staff to mix Neph's wine
with water, so he'll be out of commission until after my untimely death
Notes: Lying in a bed that stinks of soap and cherry blossoms, and penning my
last words, most likely
Gotta admit, sometimes I'm really not that fond of my lifestyle, but it ain't so
bad that I'm looking forward to my nearing funeral
Argh, I can't believe it! I forgot his Majesty's birthday. That's just so...
stupid! Even Zoi remembered!
Maybe I should start paying more attention to my surroundings, but then people
are always putting up flowers for on or another insignificant little celebration
so how am I supposed to keep track of what flowers go to which feast?
Of course, it's all Endymion's fault, since he forgets it more or less every
year and that means Kunzite starts to nag about it months ahead, and that means
the rest of us can relax because he'll yell at us about not having gotten gift
yet when there's a few days left.
Only this year, Kunzite stopped nagging two weeks before, because he had to go
somewhere up North and inspect some black goo that's been destroying the harvest
here and there. As on a cue, Endymion completely forgot that his glorious
father's birthday was nearing (unsurprising, he forgets everything as soon as
someone says the worth Moon or anything related to it) Sadly, it kinda slipped
my mind too...
Now, Kunzite, that evil - Elysion help me, is that him? ...only Zoi, good.
Anyway, since Kunzite knows Endymion as good as I do (and since he never forgets
anything, ever, the bastard) he brought some ancient sword overflowing with
golden flowers and other junk and told the prince to give it to daddy.
Did anyone give *me* as much as a slight hint? Did Kunzite or Neph or anyone in
this damn palace think of giving poor Jadeite, who's desperately trying to
manage the economic disaster known as Asia, a word of reminder? Nope
At least the king seemed to genuinely appreciate his chocolate, but then the old
guy walks around with his underwear on the head when he's alone
Fuck! That's gotta be Kunzite
Now, if I survive today, that will be only because Neph is so gone that he wont
notice (or care) if someone temporarily moves in under his bed
Pray for me!
14/2
Weather: Rain, what else?
Things to do: Sleep, shave, change clothes. Remind Neph that he wanted to look
up someone/thing called Metallia, find the South American baron and make a new
appointment (after the shave + change of clothes)
Things I forgot yesterday: Go to bed
Notes: Oh joy. Returned from another unplanned two-day-long excursion spent
looking for Endymion and his girlfriend. I'm getting just a bit tired on playing
hide and seek every time she decides to sneak down here, I mean, it's not as if
we aren't having enough of our own troubles.
Rebels still haven't won any remarkable victories, but they're are getting more
and more silent support, which means it's just a question of time before they
begin to get noisy support. Are also indications of a leak here at court, Zoi's
looking into it
Anyway, our wayward prince is back where he belongs, and this time we'll make
sure he stays here! But I gotta admit, it's a perverse sort of fun seeing
Kunzite's rage coming down on someone besides me
Blah, I've got tons of paperwork waiting... What better reason to write a long
and detail entrance in my log? Sleep is out of the question anyway, people seem
to assume that we guardians don't have such mortal needs. Therefore, look busy,
and the slave drivers will probably leave you alone
Ran into the Inner Guard yesterday (or was it early this morning?) and they were
searching for Lady S (shared unhappiness does taste better)
Lady M. was there, and I'm certain that she's the only woman in the entire solar
system that can climb around in the Himalayas wearing stilettos and look halfway
dignified. She didn't hit me when I told it to her - think I'm wearing her down!
Lady V. hung all over Kunzite, and he didn't throw her into a ravine so I'd say
my pretty isn't the only one who's being worn down
Raised the stakes about their marriage with two gold pieces... Neph has way to
much faith in Kunzite's resistance to female charm
Zoi passed the time with finding another 100 gestures, words and insinuations
that can create a flaming blush on Lady Blue's face, and I'm ashamed to say that
if it wasn't so amusing to watch, I'd save the poor girl. For being such a
sweet-faced youngster, Zoi's mind is way down the gutter. Now, the question is
which prospect is the most unnerving... was he born like that, or did Kunzite
teach him? (now there's a scary thought)
Lady M's. insistence that it's mine and Endymion's bad influence that has made
him turn out like that is of course pure nonsense, the prince doesn't know the
half of those words and I learned most of them from Zoi.
They've closed down a few more mines in Europe while we were out trekking, it's
the same old problem... the ore disappears overnight and is replaced with black
stone. Reports were completely messed up, that's what you get for letting miners
do the work of bureaucrats, but in half of them it appears as if representatives
from the rebels were there the days before. The other half blame it on the White
Moon people, which is almost as ridiculous.
Urgh... Neph's telling me to 'do something useful'
8/3
Weather: Cold, windy and a bit sunlight
Things to do: Call my sister and her moron husband and arrange a meeting, attend
the opening of the temple to some God I apparently worship (since when I'd like
to know) find a more stable astronomer then Neph to ask about the sunspots
On that subject, might be a good idea to get some medication for him
Things I forgot yesterday: Call my sister and her brain-damaged husband, pay
Endymion for the dice game we had onboard (well, I ain't gonna remind him of
that)
Notes: Home sweet home... who am I kidding? Hasn't been one day, and I already
remember why I desperately wanted to move far, far away
I should've know our awful trip was an omen or something. Halfway hurricane
since we left port, and from the moment we got off it's only been getting worse!
Every single useless moron who I couldn't stand/couldn't stand me when I was a
kid has shown up to talk about the good old times and ask for favors, and I
seriously thought I'd go insane, until Zoi offered to take the door.
But that's only the beginning - seems like the terrorists have gotten some
serious influence in Edo, they're burning the royal flag everywhere, except
where they're burning the White Moon-banner. Guess three times who the prince
and Kunzite are blaming for it. Yup, you've got it
That I haven't put a foot in the country for like three years doesn't matters,
no, of course not, nor the fact that people are pretty much as insane everywhere
else as well
Had a meeting with that annoying bishop or priest or whatever from Jupiter
today. The way the Silver people act, you think they're actually trying to drive
the entire Earth insane, looking down their noses at us just cause we happen to
have a more dynamic generation-change. And then, when they're like this guy,
always hiding behind a saintly smile it's enough to drive even me up the wall
Made another futile attempt to convince Endymion that it would be better for us
all if we could shrink the legal rights of the extraterrestrials, at least a bit
(and in case you'll ever read this, Kunzite, I'm talking temporarily) Of course
he refused, but Neph of all people made a complete turnabout and agreed with me.
Hmm, might even be hope for our prince
Sadly, Nephrite's sudden change of mind might have less to do with him seeing
the light as with his coming nervous breakdown. Ever since he saw those damn
sunspots (how can a big burning ball of gas have 'spots' anyway?) he's been all
wired up and I fear that the overall tension's too much for him. Can't be good
spending more time looking at the sky then where you're about to put your feet.
Anyway, he's begun to read through the oldest and most boring books we've got
and is obsessing about Metallia. Myself, I go with Kunzite and Zoi... why
complicate things more then necessary, when we're almost certain it's a password
and nothing more?
Have work to do, but been so restless lately, specially when it comes to
paperwork, not to mention I seem to be developing a migraine. Damn... Hope Neph
is the only one cracking
17/3
Weather: Awful
Things to do: Find Endymion and kill him or his girlfriend
Things I forgot yesterday: Chain Endymion to the bed (dammit, where's he gone
this time??)
Notes: Seriously, if I ever get my hands on Serenity somewhere without witnesses
I'll send here somewhere much higher up then the moon!
Little witch lured him out again and we spent half day searching through Edo,
and when Kunzite finally finds him, he tried to cover for her and swore that it
was all his idea. Suure! So we drag him back to the palace, and he begins to
argue with us for 'acting strange' and 'being paranoid'. I just ask, who's
supposed to be who's lifeguard here?
Headache (again, my life sucks) began yesterday evening, got steadily worse,
like the weather, as I looked for the prince. I'm making myself really depressed
here.
Nice thing that happened today (the only) was the meeting with Lady Beryl -
Gotta admit, that girl's smile is something special!
More nice things... man, that was the only one! I need to get a life
Have a huge stack of mail on my desk (getting as bad as Zoi) but it's more or
less all junk from the Earth, or Mars so no one will mind too much if I push it
off until tomorrow, or the day after
Blah... how's one supposed to concentrate when a demon is playing drums on the
backside of my eyeballs?
Here's an interesting quiz to solve... if you've got a headache, and then add a
hangover, will they kinda cancel each other, or will it get twice as bad? (since
it can't get any worse then this, I'm prepared to make a wager)
Where does Neph keep his emergency supply anyway?
20/3
Weather:
Things to do:
Things I forgot yesterday:
Notes: Attacking today.
Jadeite of the East is penning this chronicle, in the last day of the old time,
by order of Her Glorious Majesty Beryl whom in her wisdom wishes us to document
the fall of the Silver Millenium tyranny.
Answer from Gaia arrived yesterday - his highness refused to join us, so the
goal is now to eliminate him.
The final troops have arrived, all soldiers are preparing for the battle where
we'll rise up and crush the White Witch.
We are leaving for Mare Serenitas shortly after nightfall, and according to our
calculations we will have taken the palace by midnight.
I hope the future can excuse my unsteady writing; my hand hungers for a sword.
The presence of Her Greatness Metallia around us strengthens my determination to
win the forthcoming assault.
The entire operation bases on a fast, surprising attack that never gives the
White Witch time enough to use the crystal that she has used, and misused, for a
far too long time.
After the leading nation of the solar system is conquered, the other planets
will be an easy target, even if I can not share Lord Nephrite's optimism that
they will arise together with us, screaming for revenge for the many years of
oppression. When slaves have been slaves for eons, they forget what freedom is.
...The call has come. We are leaving.
My heart is beating with joy. I finally have the chance to fight for our new
future and the excitement of battle is running through my blood. And still, I
hesitate, lingering by my notebook one more moment, something akin to fear
inside of me. I have no doubts, but-
Victory is certain! Endymion, Serenity and all their comrades will fall and
disappear in the tides of history.
Then why can't I stop these tears?
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End
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