Only a Dream
 1999 by Sailor Jade (evil scout of the Negaverse)
 Sailor Jade - Email: 


"Here they come. Soon all three Sailor Scouts will be mine!" I whispered to no 
one. It was strange actually how much trouble I was going through to capture one 
of the scouts, it would have been so much easier just to destroy them, but 
something inside of me couldn't let me do that. 

"Sailor Moon! Use your tiara!" Mercury shouted. 

"Ok! Moon Tiara Magic!" 

"Mars Fire Ignite!" 

The two powers mingled and blew up my latest youma with ease. They began to 
celebrate. I smiled, they thought it was over? They were so wrong. Without any 
warning I jumped down from my perch. I landed right behind Sailor Moon, grabbed 
her around the waist and used my other hand to cover her mouth. She began to 
scream and wriggle. I stuffed a magic gag in her mouth and pinned her arms to 
her sides, letting go with one hand I formed a energy ball for insurance. 

The remaining Sailor Scouts just stared in amazement. Sailor Mars found her 
voice first. "Jedite!" she gasped out. 

I rolled my eyes. I had just captured their leader and all she could say was my 
name? She wasn't catching on fast. 

"Let her go, Jedite!" Mercury shouted. 

"I have come to challenge you to a battle," I said with ease, "Sailor Moon's the 
prize. You win you get Sailor Moon back, I win I get you." I was looking at 
Sailor Mars when I said that. 

Mercury and Mars looked thoughtful. "It's a deal." 

The energy ball in my hand disappeared. I nodded. "Good. Meet me at the park at 

Mars nodded. "We'll be there!" 

I smirked. "Sailor Moon's depending on it," I said before I teleported both 
Sailor Moon and myself away. I had a lot to prepare for. 

* * *

I arrived on time with the real Sailor Moon, quickly tied her to a light post, 
then I jumped to the top of it. Sailor Mercury arrived first, but didn't make a 
move to help the screaming and crying Sailor Moon. I frowned. How was I supposed 
to capture her if she didn't try and help Sailor Moon? 

"Mercury help!" Sailor Moon cried. "He left! Get me out of here and let's go!" 

"Let me finish my scan!" Mercury said above the wailing noise. 

"What for?!" 

"To see if there are any traps. I don't want to get caught in any and be out of 
the fight." 

I frowned. The traps around Sailor Moon were meant for Mercury, she had to go 
into them. If not my plan would probably be ruined. 

"Mars is here!" Sailor Mars said jumping down from somewhere. She walked up to 
Mercury and frowned, "Where's Jedite?" 

"I don't know," Mercury admitted, "he wasn't here when I arrived." 

"He left!" Sailor Moon cried, "I want out of here! Wwhhhaaaa!" 

"I assume that's the real Sailor Moon," Mars said rolling her eyes. 

Mercury nodded mutely and shut her mini computer. "I detected some traps, but 
not enough to really threaten us." 

Mars nodded. "So let's go!" she cried taking a step forward. 

I drew in a sharp breath. "No," I whispered. Those traps were not for Mars, they 
were for Mercury. 

Mercury grabbed Mars's shoulder and pulled her back. "They're in a complex 
design of spirals and loops, I don't think you could make it though without 
knowing where they were." 

"What!?" Mars protested, "What about my E.S.P.? Can't I get through with that?" 

Mercury shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I don't want you out of commission when 
Jedite does arrive." 

Mars sighed angrily and walked away from the still wailing Sailor Moon. "Ok," 
she agreed angrily, "But if anything happens I'm going in, traps or no traps!" 

Mercury smiled. "Don't worry, I'll be fine." 

It was now my turn to smile as I set my traps in motion. The scan Mercury did 
was different now and would continue to change. Mercury would be electrocuted, 
burned, or just plainly blasted when she got into the center and then it would 
be time for 'Tuxedo Mask' to arrive. I laughed inwardly. 

Mercury got off to a good start missing all the ones that would fire trivial 
things like arrows and axes at her, or the ones that would fall once she stepped 
on them. She neared the center of the traps while Mars paced like a wildcat in a 
cage. Mercury was now at the edge of the real traps. I waited patently for her 
to step on one of them. She took a step forward to one that was momentarily un-

She pulled down her scanner. "That's odd," she whispered, "They seem to be 
moving." Blue lightning whipped up Mercury's body as a lightning square hit her 
and she screamed in pain. I smiled evilly. My plan was now in motion. 

"Mercury!" Mars shouted as she ran forward. I appeared a few feet in front of 
Mars. She stopped dead in her tracks. "Jedite!" 

"How fast we catch on," I teased, forming a ball of energy in my hand. 

A rose flew down from above. "Attacking defenseless girls is wrong. I, Tuxedo 
Mask will punish you!" 

"Don't listen to him!" an identical voice yelled, "I'm Tuxedo Mask!" 

I hit myself on the forehead. If it turned out that both 'Tuxedo Masks' were my 
youmas I was going to be most unhappy. "Tuxedo Mask, and Tuxedo Mask! What a 
surprise! Now I shall have to..." 

"Can you shut up?" one of the Tuxedo Masks asked, "We're trying to determine who 
the real Tuxedo Mask is. Go ahead with your little evil doing." 

Behind me both Mercury and Sailor Moon were still screaming, in front of me 
Sailor Mars was looking at the Tuxedo Masks in confusion and love. I wanted to 
gag. I shook my head. Today was not a good day for me! 

"Tuxedo Mask! Help!" Sailor Moon cried. 

Both Tuxedo Masks turned there heads. "I shall save you Sailor Moon!" they both 
cried at the same time. 

"No I will!" 

"I will!" 

"I will!" 

"I will!" 

I ignored the argument and promptly blasted Sailor Mars unconscious. Then I 
turned and blasted both Mercury and Moon with harder blasts that would keep them 
quiet for hours. Forming a teleportation gate, I shoved both Moon and Mercury 
through, then gently picked up Sailor Mars. 

"Hey!" both Tuxedo Marks cried, realizing what I'd done. "You can't do that, I, 
Tuxedo Mask, will punish you!" 

"I'm Tuxedo Mask!" 

"No, I am!" 

"Fine! But I get to save the Scouts!" 

"No I do!" 

"I do!" 

"I do!" 

"I do!" 

I sighed hook my head and stepped through the portal. What a day! 

* * *

"Queen Beryl," I started bowing, "I..." 

"Have failed me again," Queen Beryl said interrupting, "Your punishment is 
Eternal Sleep, have a good time!" 

"No!" I yelped jumping back. "I've captured the Sailor Scouts for you! And have 
put Tuxedo Mask out of service!" 

"You have?" she asked looking into her crystal ball, "Oh, you have. Well done, 
Jedite, you get three days off. Now put the scouts in the dungeon and get out of 
my sight! Next!" 

I shook my head as I moved away. 

"Queen Beryl. I..." Nephrite started. 

"Have failed me again. Your punishment is to watch Teletubbies, have a good 

"No my Queen no!" Nephrite's scream could be heard from miles away. I shuddered 
and hurried away. 

* * *

Sailor Moon was just waking up when I returned to my castle. "Oh no! It's 
Jedite! Wwwwwhhhhhhaaaaaaa!!!" 

I shoved a gag into her mouth, "Shut up!" I ordered. She continued to wail. For 
want of a better solution I blasted her again. Her face was starting to turn a 
little blue when I pulled out the gag. I began to wonder if too much blasting 
was bad for her. 

Screams were coming from the next room, I opened the door and there was Sailor 
Mercury tied to a chair and screaming her head off. I looked at her puzzled. 
"What's the matter with you?" 

"There's a Teletubbie tape right there! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" 

I looked at her unbelieving, then picked up the tape. "This is 'Barney's Great 
Adventure'." I told her. She started to scream harder. I smiled evilly and 
pushed the tape into the VCR then fled the room before the tape could start. "I 
knew that tape would come in handy," I said to no one. 

It was time to check on my last patient. She was sitting there silently when I 
walked into the room. I looked at her curiously. She didn't even flinch when I 
walked up to her. "Being brave won't get you out of here." 

"It might annoy you though," she answered. 

"It..." a scream interrupted my sentence. I shook my head. "Mercury can sure 
scream hard," I commented. 

Mars seemed to snap. "What are you doing to her?! Let her go! Stop torturing 
her! I'll do anything you want, just stop hurting her!" 

I stared at her unbelieving. I snapped my fingers and Mercury was now in the 
room. "No more, no more!" she mumbled. "I love you, you love me... no more! 
We're a happy family... time for Barney to die! Bruhaha! Time for Barney to 

"What did you do to her!?" Mars yelled almost breaking the ropes that held her. 

"I showed her a video," I said simply. 

"What video!?" 

"I love you, you love me. We're a happy family..." 


"Time for Barney to die! Bruhaha!" 

"You showed her Barney!? She going to be scarred for life!" 

I shrugged. "It was that or Teletubbies." 

Mars shuddered, "You shouldn't have showed her that either!" 

"What did you want me to show her? 'Working Out With Richard Simmons'?" 

"No!" Mars shouted, "Though that would have been better." 

"So what was that about doing anything I wanted?" I asked. 

Mars paled. "I was just joking! Haha. You know a joke. Funny right? I didn't 
really mean it." 

"You meant it." 

"No I didn't!" 

"Then Mercury goes back to Barney, then Teletubbies, then Blues Clues..." 

"Ok, ok fine!" Mars said giving in, "What do you want me to do?" 

"You have to agree to join your life force to mine. If I die you die. Also if 
you start to plan in any way my death or your own you shall feel great pain that 
shall feel almost as bad as death." 

Mars paled, "So I wouldn't be able to fight you anymore?" 

"No, not me. You could fight Queen Beryl, or Nephrite, or any of the others, but 
if you tried to fight me you would be in great pain." 

"Could you still fight me?" 

"Of course!" 

"I'd rather join forces with Queen Beryl," Mars snapped. 

"That can be arranged, along with your precious friends the Sailor Scouts." 

Mars frowned. She was in a no win situation and she hated it. "I'll do it, if, 
you agree that I can still be around my friends." 

I thought for a bit. "Deal, but you can't tell them or anyone else." 

Mars nodded. I snapped my fingers and the ropes that held her were gone. She 
stood up. "So how do we do this bond thing?" 

I smiled thinking of all the things I could do to her. I settled on the truth 
for the moment. "One quick kiss." That was one of the ways the bond could be 
sealed, so I didn't lie. 

Mars frowned. "Your joking right?" 

"I don't joke," I said firmly. 

She looked like she was about to go into a rage then glanced at the still 
babbling Sailor Mercury and sighed in defeat. "Fine." 

I bent down and our lips met. This was going to be *fun*. 

* * *

I woke up from my dream quite suddenly. Why would I dream about a Sailor Scout? 
And why Sailor Mars? I sighed and laid back in my bed. Things had sure gotten 
strange lately, but it was only a dream... wasn't it? 

The End 


Author's Note:
I don't know what moved me to write this story, maybe it was because I wanted to 
or because I wanted to use one of the Jedite quotes that I've been collecting. 
In case anyone can't tell I'm a Jedite freak. I think he's the coolest of the 
generals though many of you think otherwise. Oh well, at least I don't have to 
worry about an ice crystal in my back from one of Zoicite's temper tantrums when 
he finds out that you're dating his beloved. Good luck to all you Kunzite or 
Malicite lovers. 
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon doesn't belong to me, she never will, and I don't have a 
hope that someday I'll be able to use her name freely. 'Nuff said. 


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