Time to Think
By: Jinako-chan shidou@kitty.cc

Being frozen gives you time to think. A lot of time to think. It had all
been going according to plan, too. What a pity.

Yes, I had planned to help the Sailor Senshi. From the first time I saw
Sailormoon, I knew she would be able to defeat My Queen. Though she was
weak at first, and mostly likely still is, there was something about
her. Something I briefly seemed to remember...

That's all it is, though. A memory I can't recall. Even if I could
recall it, I wouldn't have the time. My Queen has frozen me in a large
block of ice to slowly die. I wonder which one will kill me...the
starvation and thirst, or the boredom? I think it'll be the boredom.

I wonder how the people in my life saw me? My father, he would be
ashamed of me if he could see me now. Fortunately for him, he's dead. My
mother would be crying. I don't want her to cry, like she did when I got
lost. No one ever found me, of course. I had simply run away, to join My
Queen. I don't believe that was my own choice, really. It was just Fate
screwing with me.

You know, My Queen is a total idiot. She should have at least let me
give her the identities of the Sailor Senshi. Though there was only one
I could tell her the exact name of. She worked at the shrine, I
think...she was actually pretty smart, that one. No regular humans had
found out my plans before she had. The Sailor Senshi are not regular
humans. Wait a moment, she was a Sailor Senshi, so does she even count?
I'm not really sure, I think I'm confusing myself. Wonderful. I get to
die confused.

Speaking of the Sailor Senshi, I don't really begrudge them anything. I
don't want revenge. I pity them too much for revenge. Just knowing the
fight they'll have to fight, is enough to quench my thirst for revenge.
Though I doubt they've yet realized this, they are taking on the Dark
Kingdom. Whether they want to or not. I doubt they chose this, why
should they? They are like me, they've been screwed by their own
Destiny. Poor girls. My swarms of youma, the "failed" plans...were to
help them along. If they were going to go against My Queen, they would
need to learn how to fight. So, I have tried to teach them in my way. I
doubt my fellow Shittenou will.

Yes, the Shittenou. Kunzite, Nephrite, Zoicite and myself. It was no
secret of course, about Kunzite and Zoicite. I had noticed something
"close" in their contact with each other the first time we met.
Nephrite, I believe, did have problems accepting them. Anything he
wasn't used to, he couldn't really deal with. I hope that doesn't end up
his downfall.

I wonder, was there anyone I actually loved? I did love my parents. But,
I don't really believe there was anyone...else.
Though, I wish I'd given that girl a chance.

I smile, without really knowing why.

I was still smiling when the ice melted, a result of the power of the
Ginzuishou which killed My Queen. For what no one else knows, I was
reborn and given my life back along with my enemies that I pitied. I
believe the other Shittenou were as well, though I haven't bothered to
find out yet.

I think I'll check though, someday.


Note: In case you didn't know, or gather it from the story, the
Shittenou are the four generals. "That girl" can be whoever you decide
it to be, though I was thinking a bit of Rei when I wrote that.

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