Part 1: As History Repeats
By Sky


I was glad that I pretended to kill myself for Veronica! It was the best thing 
that I could ever do. I was in love with her, but I was no good for her. She 
loved me. She must have loved me. She killed for me. That makes me feel pretty 
good. I killed for her, but that wasn't really anything out of the ordinary. I 
just can't believe I didn't notice her loose noose. Now I'm stuck with 7 fingers 
and 2 thumbs! I remember doing that like it was yesterday . . .

* * *

"You want a clean slate as much as I do. Alright so maybe I am killing everyone  
in the school, because nobody loves me! Let's face it, alright! The only place 
where different social types genuinely can get along with each other is in 
heaven."


I just can't believe that I thought of that on the spot. That's incredible, even 
for me! I mean, I was telling the truth, but I normally find that hard without 
blood shed or guns at the same time. I can't believe I made my point with just 
words, and a bomb strapped to my waist.

* * *

"Which button do I press to turn it off?" Veronica asked me. 
"Try the red one, alright?!" I replied to her. I just hoped that she would want 
me alive. "Seriously, people are gonna look at the ashes of Westerburg, and say: 
there is a school that self destructed not because society didn't care, but 
because the school WAS society! Pretty deep hey?"


I can't believe that speech! I just wish that it had been on Larry King or Jay 
Leno or something like that. Well, not Jay Leno, as he's got no depth. He's a 
comedian. Veronica liked comedy. She also liked thrillers. She liked the 
thrillers that we were together. We were chilling thrilling killing machines. I 
loved her. Would I ever kill myself? Not while Veronica is alive. Not while 
there is a chance for me to get her back. I just wonder how. She had such power.

* * *

"Which red button?" she insisted that I answer her. She persisted and then... 
"Press the one in the middle to turn it off. If that's what you really want" I 
replied.


I was hoping that what she really wanted was for me to sweep her away to Mexico. 
We could have lived happily in Mexico. I wonder if there are any superficial 
people in Mexico? I could just kill some bank robber or something. Perhaps 
Veronica would have a fight with the man at the corner store, and then I could 
kill him. I just wanted to impress her, and maybe kill a few people while I was 
at it! Is that so wrong?!

* * *

"Do you know what I want babe?" she said to me. I was so hopeful. "What?" I 
yelled at her! "Cool guys like you out of my life" she said to me. That really 
cut.


I wonder what would have happened if I had never killed anybody. She would still 
have loved me? Would she love me now? I wish I knew the answers.


"Color me impressed. You really fucked me up pretty bad Veronica. You you've got 
power. Power I didn't think you had." That's when I showed her that the bomb was 
now around my waist. "Slate is clean."


Now that I think of it, why didn't I just go and blow up the school? Veronica 
was outside of it!
I wanted a clean slate. I wanted a clean slate and I wanted it to be with 
Veronica! She did pretend to kill herself though. Did she hate me that much?

* * *

"Pretend I did blow up the schools. All the schools. Now that you're dead, what 
are you gonna do with your life?"


She takes out the cigarette, and I shows it to me, as if she's won a prize. My 
bomb stops counting and I whack it back to the ticking like the time bomb that 
it is. I blow myself into oblivion. What was really odd, was that she just 
totally accepted that I was dead, even though there was nothing about it 
anywhere. I mean, why wouldn't I be talked about, like Kurt and Ram? Why 
wouldn't I be talked about like Heather? I wish now that we had slit Heather 
Duke's wrists. Then perhaps Veronica would love me. I killed for her, and she 
still doesn't love me.
Perhaps the school wouldn't have talked about me! After all, they didn't care! 
Nobody cared! Kurt and Ram didn't like me, and well Heather Chandler didn't 
think too much of me either. The rest of the school would know that. The rest of 
the school would see my death as something quite dull and lifeless. Nobody 
talked about it when Martha Dunstock threw herself in front of a bus. Why didn't 
they talk? Was it because she was unsuccessful? Was it because she was a geek! 
Martha was the type of person that I wanted to defend. Who am I kidding? I think 
about number one only!  Number 1 is me! Number 1 is perfecto! I like making 
statements, and the extreme always makes an impression! I remember telling 
Veronica that! I loved her. I think I loved her. Did I kill for her, or for 
myself? I don't know, and it doesn't matter. The important thing, is that I get 
my life back on track! Would they talk about me though? I think they would 
because Pauline was always very open in listening to me. She listened to me when 
I told her that Veronica had killed herself. I wonder why I told her that! I 
know why I told her that! I told her that, because I was in love with Veronica. 
I wanted someone to hear about how I felt about Veronica's death. How could she 
do that to me!


What happened next? Well, Veronica just watched me explode, or at least she 
thought. I had just disappeared abruptly into the bushes. She didn't see. Why? 
Because she was in shock! She went inside, to converse with Heather, and Miss 
Dunstock. I watched her from afar, still knowing that she loved me. I think she 
loved me. I loved her. I was in shock. I couldn't think straight! She shot my 
finger off! I got to my car as soon as possible and I drove with my injured hand 
on the gears, and my other hand on the steering wheel. I was in pain. All I 
could think about was Veronica! Would I go home to dad? What would I do?! Where 
would I go! Would I just move to another state, and get another locker 
combination!? I drove, and I drove. I wanted to talk to Miss Flem! I'm ashamed 
to admit, but I really did want to talk to Miss Flem. If only she worked 
elsewhere, and not the school. If only she wasn't the guidance counselor! What 
am I to do! I headed for Sherwood State hospital. I went into the emergency 
ward, and received immediate assistance. 'Do you have the finger?' the woman 
asked. 'what?' I said. I couldn't believe that I didn't think to pick my finger 
up. 
'Where is it then?' asked the nurse. 'Westerburg high' I replied. 'how did this 
happen?' 'the kids there were planning to commit mass suicide! When I tried to 
stop them, they shot my finger off!' I said. That lie ought to baffle her a bit! 
They just gave me an anesthetic, and said that they would try to find the 
finger. The nurse sent an ambulance to the school. Nobody had any idea what was 
going on, because they were all in the gym. Veronica had gone home with Martha. 
The paramedics came back with my finger. They gave me a general anesthetic. I 
awoke with my finger on, and no feeling in it. The doctors said that the nerve 
endings were no longer capable of feeling or doing. They said that with intense 
physio, my finger may be back to normal in about a year. They also suggested 
plastic surgery, if I didn't like the scar. I thought the scar had character. It 
was a token from Veronica!


I wonder if she loved me. Should I go and find out? After all, she pretended to 
kill herself! I think I will go back to Westerburg! I think I will confront 
Veronica. JD got into his car, and he drove and drove, until he reached Sherwood 
jewelers. He bought a ring for Veronica. What will I do when I get back? What 
will I say? Will I go in her window? Will I just break in? will I go to her 
parents? I know! Ill spy, with my little eye! Ill spy on Veronica, and find out 
just how life has been without me. I will discover if she loves me. No wait! I'm 
not going to go through this again! I'm not going to confront Veronica, and let 
her hurt me again. I'm going to enroll at Sherville high.

JD walked into the cafeteria at Sherville. It was just like Westerburg high! He 
went over to the available seat in the far right corner of the caf, and he sat 
down. He noticed two girls over the other side of the cafeteria. One was in 
green, and the other was in red. Over the other side of the room, was a girl in 
blue, and a girl in yellow. I couldn't hear them, but I'm sure the one in 
yellow, was instructing the one in blue to follow her to the other girls. The 
two girls joined the other girls. The one in red had a nasty grin, and a clip 
board in her hand. A geek bumped into her handbag, and she threw her milk all 
over him. I decided then, that she was going to die. She was just another 
Heather. What about the one in blue? Was she another Veronica? Could I just 
replace Veronica with another clone like  her? The girl in blue had dark hair, 
and red lips, and she looked my way. She looked my way, and flipped her hair 
over her shoulders. She smiled nicely. My heart ached for Veronica. Well, 
Veronica wanted me dead, and that's what she got! If you love something, set it 
free right?! Well, I set Veronica free! It was the only way I could!


The girl in red was giving the girl in blue some instructions. She began walking 
towards me. She had the clipboard in her hands. 'hey there' she said, her eyes 
reminded me of Veronicas. 'greetings and salutations!' 'are you new on campus?' 
'just started today. Might I add, it's a lovely school. I feel like I'm home 
here!' I said to her, grinning. 'I'm Vanessa!' she said. 'JD!' I replied. I felt 
quite superior! 'can I ask you a stupid survey question?' she asked me. 'let me 
guess! 'you inherit five million dollars the same day aliens land on the either 
and say they're gonna blow it up in two days. What do you do?' I asked her. I 
remembered the day that I met Veronica, in the cafeteria. I wish I could just 
rewind life. 'where did that come from? Have you done this before?' she said. 
She reminded me even more of Veronica.
I can remember her like it was yesterday. When we killed Heather. 'have you done 
this before?' she asked me. I didn't answer her. I had done it before, but not 
with anybody! Well I had done it with people, but none that I was in love with. 
I was in love with Veronica though. Was I going to do it all over again with 
Vanessa? 'can I ask you a question?' I asked her, with a grin on my face. I was 
raising my eyebrows like a cheeky cat! 'what?' she said. 'have you ever killed 
anybody, and made it look like a suicide? And if you did, how would you do it? 
Would you do it again? And would you keep your mouth shut?' she just stared at 
me. 'and finally, who would you kill?!' her jaw dropped. She started laughing. 
'why that's the most fantastic poll question I have ever heard of!' she said. 
Suddenly the other three girls approached us. 'this is Heidi, Heidi, and Heidi!' 
'are you kidding me?' I asked her. I was in shock. It was almost as if this 
school was a clone of Westerburg. There was only one way for me to find out once 
and for all, if I was truly in love with Veronica, and that was TO REPEAT 
HISTORY.


    Source: geocities.com/jadenslater1