Without You By Baby Jenks (SwissMansDream@aol.com) A/N: I don't own them, I just play with them. The song "With or Without You" is, as far as I know, written and owned by U2. Here are the people who could sue me and probably win: U2, their record company, Daniel Waters, and the production company for Heathers. Don't sue penniless wanna-be writers. If you do, all you'll get is some Christian Slater videotapes, an 8 year-old computer, and my middle finger. ************************ The decrepit woman allowed herself to be helped out of the car, her gray arm supported by Jason's palm, until she straightened painfully to the bright morning. "I'll see you next Sunday, Grandma." Jason handed the purse to Veronica, squeezing her hand. He kissed her cheek and drove home, his mind already on his daughter's soccer game that afternoon. Veronica sighed and made her way up to her apartment. She had a harder time than usual getting up the short stairwell, and was breathing heavily when she stopped to fumble with the keys. She finally creaked open the door, dropping her purse to the floor, and falling into a nearby sofa. She mentally chastised herself for spending so long socializing at church, because it always left her so drained. She reached out with a feeble arm and switched on the AM radio, hoping for a bright song to cheer her up. Instead, Veronica found herself listening to an old High-school song, and a wave of nostalgia hit her as she settled back into the cushions. "See the stone set in your eyes, See the thorn twist in your side, I wait for you. Slight of hand and twist of fate, On a bed of nails she makes me wait And I wait without you With or without you With or without you Through the storm we reach the shore You give it all but I want more . . ." She'd tried to forget him, all these years. He had crashed through her life and ruined it, with his gorgeous eyebrows, trenchcoat and accompanying revolver. "His eyebrows." She closed her eyes, remembering. That had been his favorite feature to her, as her hair had been to him. She reached up, fingering her now silver strands. A tear slipped down her cheek, as she wondered how she would look to JD now. She could never imagine him old and gray like she was now. Lord, she was feeling dizzy just sitting here! "And I'm waiting for you With or without you With or without you And you give yourself away And you give yourself away And you give And you give And you give yourself away . . ." She had gone through 2 husbands, 2 divorces, an abusive relationship (and, consequentially, stress-related diabetes), 3 grandchildren. She still couldn't find what she had lost on the steps of Westerburg high. True love. "My hands are tied My body bruised, she's got me with Nothing to win and Nothing left to lose . . ." Veronica, still wearing her heavy church dress, was beginning to feel short of breath, and the material was damp under the arms. If only J.D. hadn't tried to blow up the school if only she hadn't (like a fool) tried to stop him! "Stop that." She said to herself. "If only we hadn't killed Heather and if only he had moved to a different town!! Right. What's done is done. It's all over now." But all this did little to cheer her up. She had made a choice years ago, one she now felt was the wrong one. "And you give yourself away And you give yourself away And you give And you give And you give yourself away . . ." Veronica felt worse than she ever had before thinking about this. As a matter of fact, she had NEVER felt this bad. She could hardly breathe, and she felt a vise in her chest, clamping down on her life, tightening her chest. A lightening bolt of pain shot through her arm to her chest and neck, rendering her immobile. It passed temporarily, and she reached for the phone, trying to call 911 and get help from her heart attack. She fumbled with the phone, knocking it to the ground. She tried to reach down and retrieve it, but she fell over from the force of another wave of pain. When she hit the ground, her neck landed at an odd angle, and the last thing she saw was open arms and a pair of slanted eyebrows "With or without you With or without you I can't live With or without you With or without you With or without you . . ."