Blood of My Heart, Beloved of My Soul

Part IV

Rating: PG-13 - contains extremely mild sexual innuendo/content.

The stone ring stood on a raised dais in the middle of the castle courtyard. Around it, there was a circle of stones reminiscent of Stonehenge on Earth. At one time, it might have been a place of worship or an astrological observatory. It could have been a place of human sacrifice. Whatever it's purpose in the past, in the here and now; it was the centerpiece to a beautiful courtyard garden.

When it suddenly came to life, none to the people passing seemed to give it much thought. A few glanced at it in mild curiosity. Either this was a common occurrence or they were expecting someone.

A very small group of people entered the courtyard through the portcullis and proceeded towards the steps that led to the ring. Just as they reached the bottom step, the figure of a woman stepped out of the shimmering blue light. Her gaze swept the area quickly assessing, watching for any immediate danger. Finding none, she relaxed and allowed herself to smile. Home had not changed.

Her gaze moved to the group of people waiting at the bottom of the steps and her smile widened. She would've liked to rush down the stairs and greet her friends with enthusiasm; however, the formal greeting must first take place. Informal greetings would have to wait. She had a position to uphold.

Her stance was regal as she brought her arms up and across her chest, palms against her skin, her first and fourth fingers extended, her other fingers and thumbs folded into her palms. She slowly bowed her head in silent acknowledgement and greeting. As she descended the steps toward the group that stood there, she extended her arms in front of her with the palms now facing upwards, the fingers still extended, but the thumb and other fingers now came together and
pointed skyward. The group watched as a tall handsome man, who appeared to be the leader of the group, stepped forward to greet her. He mirrored her gestures in every way, except that when he extended his arms, his palms were pointed towards the ground. He brought the tips of his extended fingers into contact with the tips of the woman's' fingers. After bowing his head in a respectful gesture to her, he was the first to speak.

"I greet and welcome thee from my heart Kataya, Lady of Cadwaellon.

"My heart answers thee and gives greetings and gratitude to yours, Merdwin, Lord of Werllockian."

The formalities over, smiles and greetings were exchanged all around. The group dispersed so that each could continue with
whatever duties they had to perform. There would be much feasting tonight. The daughter of Artereos of Cadwaellon had returned home.

"Even in your uniform you look elegant and ravishing, my dear." Merdwin caught Kataya's hand in his, lifted it, and placed a kiss on the inside of her wrist, while looking deeply into her amazing violet
eyes.

She laughed up at him. "Do you ever stop trying to seduce the women, Merdwin?"

Laughing with her, he replied, "But there is so much joy and excitement in tempting ones fate. The heart pounds and beats ever faster, the breath quickens, the blood rushes to ones head (among other places). Does it not thrill you to know that you can cause a man to lose his head over you? Is there no excitement in the knowledge that a man would fight for you, even kill for you? Women are the true "holy grail" and passion is the wine within it." He looked down at her.

They had strolled into the castle and entered a chamber, which overlooked the castle walls and gardens. Kataya made her way to a window seat cut into the stone underneath a high arched window. The sun shone through the panes and caused the dust motes in the air to do their dance in a golden haze. It was truly beautiful here. She turned back to her companion.

"And you would know," she laughed, "for you have sought many."

"But not as earnestly as I have sought you."

She shifted on her seat to gaze out the window as she responded lightly, "So you say. Come; let us drop this game we play. Tell me all the news."

She did not see the shadow of pain that briefly crossed his face. How he loved this woman. Had loved her for centuries. For one brief period, he had been able to call her his own. A few short months filled with light and laughter. To this day, he still remembered the softness of her body as it lay beneath him, the sound of her voice languid with passion, the sweet taste of
her on his lips, the rose and musk scent of her as they lay entwined.

"Merdwin, are you alright?"

"What? Sorry, my love, I just remembered something that I was supposed to get finished before tonight. There's still plenty of time to do it though. What were you saying?"

"I believe I had just requested that we stop playing the flirtation game, pleasant though it is."

"As you wish." He paused for a moment. "Your father is within. He is caught up in a tricky negotiation with the Ardenians. Something about sheep, if I remember correctly. He's looking forward to seeing you."

"Sounds terribly important," she laughed indulgently as though she was well aware of the oddities of her Sire, and was amused by them. "He loves me well. I can wait upon his sheep; these things make him happy. Our reunion can wait until he is finished with his meeting. He truly enjoys even the most trivial of them, you know." She smiled up at him as he stood leaning carelessly against the wall.

"I know. Which is why I always let him know about any and everything that comes up. He has so much energy. Sometimes just watching him fatigues me."

"I doubt that, Merdwin. You have enough energy and stamina for 10 people," she said as her gazed rested fondly on him. "What of our children, my dear? You have not mentioned them and neither of them were there to greet me. Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all. Our children, as you know are very busy people. Merdwin is still with the Ancients. I'm afraid our son takes after me, my love." He stopped and appeared to be studying his boot. Then he cleared his throat. "Our daughter – our daughter is very much like you. She is recovering from a battle wound and-"

"What? You've waited until now to tell me?"

"She really is fine, Kataya. A little sore and she will not be released for active duty for quite some time but that is all. She is
very angry with herself for, her words, not mine, `her own stupidity and carelessness.' It is just as well that she must take leave of fighting for awhile. I understand you will be naming her to take
your place in our government?"

“Yes, Merdwin, the rumors are true. Or did you get your information from Artereos?"

"A little bit of both. Gwennetha will make an excellent leader, Kataya." I'm very proud of both of the children you gave me."
Merdwin's voice dropped and it became intimate, soft and compelling, "And of their Mother, Kataya, Lady of Cadwaellon."

Kataya reached up and cupping his cheek with her hand, she leaned forward and kissed him gently. "Thank you, Merdwin. That means a great deal to me." She smiled at him and let her hand fall to her lap.

"You are most welcome, My Lady." He pushed himself away from the wall. "Well, I need to go see to some things. Do you want me to show you to your apartment or do you want to remain here for a while?"

"I believe I'll stay here for a while. My apartments haven't been changed have they?"

"No, they are the same. Gwennetha is in her apartment. The banquet will be at 8… You're the guest of honor, you know, so don't be late."

"I won't be. Is it a very formal occasion, Merdwin?"

He looked somewhat abashed. "I'm afraid, so. You'll want to wear the formal circlet. And your loveliest gown. No dress sword but your dagger, of course." He paused for a moment. "I believe he will make the announcement tonight about your next assignment. He will also announce that Gwennetha will be taking your place in the Government until your return." Again, he hesitated. "Kataya." She nodded her head for him to continue. "There is to be a gathering of the Round Table tomorrow. I wish for you to be sure to attend. It is time for you to put forth the names of the squires you feel are ready to be Knighted and given their rank. I just though you'd want to know."

She smiled at him gently. "Thank you Merdwin. It was very kind in you to let me know."

He smiled back and said more brightly, "I'll see you tonight then."

"Yes, I'll see you there."

"I am sure you will." With a wicked grin and a jaunty salute, he quickly left the room.

"What a handsome man he is," she mused to herself after he left the room. Tall, dark, elegant, and handsome. He is kind and witty, with an excellent sense of humor. Moreover, he was one of the most powerful of the Wizards and Warlocks in the Katteri-enti. Why could she not have loved him? At least she had had the good sense to choose him to father her first kits.

She could hear Siesha whisper to her. /But he is not the soulmate, or even the heartmate. You do love him, just not enough to stay with him always./

"I know. I wish I could have felt that way about him but I can't. I've never felt that I made a mistake in my not taking him as my mate. He's a wonderful man, but I don't think we would have been happy had we performed a ritual joining. No, I'm glad we were nothing more than friends. We made two beautiful children and we are friends. That is enough. I think I'll go see Gwennetha and then get ready for the banquet."

/An excellent idea. After all, at your age, it takes longer to be able to appear at one's best/

"Must you always bring that up?" The voice in her mind laughed softly.

Coming to her feet, she walked across the floor and out the door. It was time to look forward, not back. She began to stroll towards her eldest daughter's apartment. Merdwin had not mentioned her other two children. He would have if something were wrong with them, of course, so she was not concerned. He had alluded to them. He was aware that they were ready to receive their rank and become part of the elite of the Katteri-enti. She had seen to much of their training herself. When she'd had to return to the war, she had left them with her Father, one of the greatest warriors of all time. They had been taught well. She had no concerns about their abilities as warriors. It was time they took their places amongst their peers.
Gwennetha would have news of them. The two sets of her children got along well. Mostly, because of Gwennetha's unconditional acceptance of the two younger kits. Gwennetha had truly lived up to her name, which for her people meant `Blessed'. She was indeed a blessing to her family. Especially, to her mother. It had been a very long time since they had a chance to talk; it would be most enjoyable. Reaching her daughter's door, she raised her hand and knocked.

"Enter."

She opened the door and walked into the room. She had forgotten how much her daughter looked like her. Similar in everyway including those amazing violet eyes. Her daughter, though, had just enough of her father's features to make her beautiful. She was so proud of this woman, her eldest daughter.

"Gwennetha."

"My Lady Mother, I'm so very glad you are here." The young woman started to assume the formal greeting position but Kataya stopped her with a hand.

"We are alone, daughter. There is no one here to notice if the "proper" rules of conduct are not followed. Personally, I would
prefer a warm and loving embrace from you as I wish to give one to you." The two women came together with tears and joy. It had indeed been a very long time. "We need to talk. There are things that need to be discussed."

"This sounds serious. You are taking on a dangerous assignment. How long are you here for? Surely you are not leaving right away?"

"No, not right away, but I will not be here for more than a week or so. I have taken on a new assignment." She clasped her daughter's hands in her own. "Gwennetha, I am going to the home of the Tau'ri. To Earth, as they call it. The battle against the Goa'uld in that sector goes badly. Help is needed." She stopped and drew a long breath. Looking into her daughter's eyes she began to tell her what she needed her daughter to do and what she felt about what was about to happen.

"I wish for you to take my place among our people. You will make a strong and capable leader. This is important. It's what you have worked toward for a very long time."

"You're serious aren't you? You really want me to take your place in the Government?"

"Yes, I am. Will you do it?"

"Yes, I will. I just hope I am half as good as you."

"You are every bit as good as I. With a little bit more experience in diplomacy, you will be superb. I'm so glad the idea pleases you."

"It thrills me. Does my father know?"

"Yes, he does. We will have time tomorrow to start going over the things you will need to know. For now, there is something else I wish to discuss with you.

"How are your brother and sister, Gwennetha? Have you seen them lately?"

"They are both on Cardwellan, in the Morovian Sector. The fighting has been heavy there recently, but as far as I know they are fine."

Kataya stopped and then posed her next question. "Would you wish to accompany me to the Tau'ri? It would be an interesting diplomatic challenge to you. Give it some thought and let me know later in the week. I felt your father would have told me if anything had happened to your brother and sister, but I didn't want to bother him with a bunch of questions."

Her daughter looked at her with wise, loving eyes. "You mean you did not want to bring him pain by asking him for news of your children by your Tok'Ra lover. I know how you feel about my father. You were friends when Merdwin and I were born. It was a matter of expedience to ensure the continuance of our line. It is not true that you do not care for him as some say. You have always loved my father and you always will. He is your friend…however, you will never love him in the passionate way you loved the Tok'Ra. Or, in the all-consuming way, you will love your soulmate. I understand that and in his heart, father understands it, too. It causes him pain, but he does understand it. He loves you very much. You know that, too, and you always have, which is why you go out of your way to take assignments that require you to be as far away as possible so that he won't constantly be reminded of you."

"Tell me, does it bother you that your father and I were never joined by our customs and laws?"

"No. Not at all. You and my father taught me that it is possible to be friends and lovers. You taught me that doing your duty is sometimes more important than your own personal wants. I'm sure you didn't want to have children without a legal bond but you felt that as your life was constantly in danger, your duty to Grandfather and the family was important. You also taught me that it is possible to do what has to be done without compromising your personal integrity. I know that you refused the bonding with my father because you felt it was not fair to either of you. Neither of you was the other's
soul mate or heartmate. To bond, in your eyes, would have been deceitful and dishonorable. It was simply unacceptable, I respect and admire you for the stand you took, and for the way you have always treated my father with respect, gentleness, and consideration. Nor do I resent your lover or my step brother and sister. You found your heartmate and you had 80 joyful years with him. I just wish you could find your soulmate. I wish father could find his also. He really needs someone to love for all time."

"When did you grow up before my eyes, my daughter? Just yesterday, you were rebelling against everything I stood for and the day before that you were wrapped in my arms suckling at my breast. It means much to me that you understand the pain in my heart for what I inadvertently did to your father. It makes my heart glad that you have forgiven me."

"There is nothing to forgive. I understand that now. You did your duty. Could I ask you something?"

"Anything you wish."

"Did you ever, um, wish that you had waited until you met your heart mate? Did you ever wish that you had told Grandfather no and waited to mate until you met him?"

"No. I've never regretted or resented any of that. Gwennetha, the heart and soul are so vast that there is room for many, many loves in a lifetime. I do love your father, as you said, just not passionately. Mostly though, I wouldn't give up you and Merdwin for anything. No, I'm not the least bit sorry. I'd do it all over again tomorrow if the choice were the same. The only thing I've ever regretted was the pain your father feels."

"Grandfather wishes me to mate."

Kataya sighed. She had expected this sooner or later. "Have you met your soulmate, Gwennetha?"

"No." She swallowed. "I wish I had, but I haven't.”

"You must follow your heart. Don't mate just because your grandfather wants you to. Or because that is the road I chose. We
each have to live with the decisions we make for a very long time, my dear. Be very sure of what you want and do not join unless you find your soulmate. Even Father will tell you that."

"Do you think he will understand if I tell him I'd prefer to wait?"

"Yes, I do. He would not force you into doing something so important, Gwennetha."

"How did you make your decision?" What made you decide to do as he asked but to do it outside of the Furling rituals?"

Kataya stared at nothing, lost in a vision that only she could see. She looked as if she was very far away. When she returned from wherever she had been, she started to speak.

"The beginnings of the Rituals of the Joining and the Entwining are shrouded in the mists of time. That they have profound meaning to our people is unquestionable. For you and I, they mean even more, since we have both Wiccadian and Furling blood in our veins. The Furlings are an ancient and powerful race whose very essence and beginnings are entwined with the dawn of all that is and all that will be. Some of us have lived countless lifetimes. You are a young soul…I…am a very old one. Your Grandfather is ancient. The Furlings draw their life-force from the forces of the universe. The
Wiccadians from all living things: The forest, the sun, the rain, the oceans, the moons, the stars, the very earth we tread upon…our very essence is made up of those things." She stopped speaking to gather her thoughts.

"We sometimes find one who completes our heart but not our soul. To find and entwine with ones heartmate is a wondrous thing. In some lifetimes, a heartmate is all we have.

”When we find the other half of our soul, he becomes both heartmate and soulmate. When we are joined by the exchange of our blood, our essences are bound together for all time. It is a joyous happening. Sometimes our time together is brief. Sometimes it is almost an eternity.

“I wish there were some way I could describe it to you. The heights, to which a passion of the body, which is complemented by the wholeness of the soul, can bring, are wondrous. To worship your lover, your mate, body and soul and to be worshiped the same way in return. Poets through the ages have tried to give voice to the wonder of it. Writers have written volumes trying to explain it. Beautiful music has been composed to glorify it. It is the Alpha and the Omega." She shrugged a little self-consciously. "I can't explain it.”

“The point I am trying to make though is that I made the decision that was right for me based on the circumstances I was in; I could die any time in battle. I was the last of our line. I did not wish to join with other than my heartmate or soulmate. You must make the one that is right for you. You alone know what that is.

"Tell your Grandfather you want to wait, if that is what you wish to do. He will not be angry. In fact, you can tell him that I believe I have found my soulmate at last after all these years. The thought of the chance that I will have another set of kits sometime in the future will keep him occupied for awhile." She smiled into her daughter's eyes as her daughter launched herself into her mother's arm.

"I'm so excited for you. Where is he? What is he like? Will we like him?"

Laughing again, Kataya held up her hands as if to fend off all the questions. "He is of the Tau'ri. He's a scholar and a warrior. I think him handsome. I haven't met him physically yet, but I have touched his mind and it is beautiful. He is a truly beautiful person." She frowned suddenly, “He is perhaps a little young in years, but his soul is very old. He had a heartmate who died. He grieves for her still. We have been together in many lifetimes, although he is not aware of this. Whether we will be again together in this lifetime is yet to be seen. We will just have to wait to see if things will work out. I think that is all the questions for now.

“Look at the time. We both need to get ready for tonight. Wear your most dazzling gown. Men are very susceptible to woman's femininity, which is good for us I suppose. One should always stay in practice, at any rate. It's just like being a Warrior, always be prepared. Now, I must go. I still have to answer the age-old question of all women."

"What's that, mother?"

"I don't have one decent thing…What in the universe am I going to wear?" She leaned over and softly kissed her daughter's cheek, turned, and headed out the door.

"If I am not careful, I will become a philosopher, Siesha."

/Unlikely./

"You are probably correct. I hope I gave her the right answers."

/I believe you did./

"Since I am agreeing with myself that doesn't give me a lot of comfort."

/It is good practice if you are to become a philosopher./

"If you don't mind I think I'll pass on that, as Jack O'Neill would say. I haven't even met the man yet and already I am picking up some of his ways. This should be interesting. I am looking forward to my new adventure, Siesha, but for this week I think I will concentrate on enjoying being home."

With those thoughts, she began noticing her surroundings. She realized little or nothing had changed. Fathers' penchant for leaving things the same for centuries was evident. Kataya couldn't remember the last time any of the furnishings had been moved or changed. Perhaps if her mother had lived things would have changed more often. As it was, at least it all stayed familiar. Right now, she was thankful for that. She needed the continuity and stability. She was about to make a great change in her life. One that would change her future and her life forever. She would enjoy her time here.

In her room, she realized that the Mirror of the Mists was still in her chamber. She approached it slowly, lit the candles on either side of it and gazed into its' depths. She sighed deeply. There were dark clouds within, dark clouds and shadows. And Blood. Lots and lots of blood…