We Love as One – Chapter 12

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Jacob watched with a heavy sigh, along with Daniel and Teal’c, as his daughter hesitantly hugged Elias goodbye at the bottom of the gate. Looking miserable with eyes filled with silent longing, Elias or rather, Lantash said something softly to Sam before bowing his head and turning to follow Malek and Korra into the wormhole. It was strange to Jacob to see such a look on a man he had just met earlier that same day and to have him look at his daughter like that was even stranger. Sometimes having two personalities in one body was hard.

(Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t like it. I enjoy your company Sel.) Jacob added quickly.

<Excellent save, Jacob.> Selmak replied, amused. <We must tend to Samantha now.>

Jacob moved to place an arm around Sam’s shoulders and asked softly, “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

Sam raked a hand through her blonde hair and exhaled heavily. “I honestly don’t know, dad.”

Jacob glanced up as he saw Daniel and Teal’c hovering nearby. “How about you, me, and these guys over here go out to grab a bite to eat? I know I can’t *make* things better for you, but I can offer you support and love.”

“Thanks, dad.” Sam smiled weakly before beckoning Teal’c and Daniel over. “There’s this great Thai restaurant I’ve meaning to go to. Come on, I’ll drive.”

~~~~

Elias took one last forlorn look at the Chappa’ai before turning and following Malek and Korra, walking across the sand and to the ring transporter when a Tok’ra guard popped out of his hiding place and hailed Malek.

“What is it, Toulas?” Malek queried, heading over to the Tok’ra, followed by Korra and Elias.

Toulas shot Elias a swift glance and then turned to face Malek. “An extraordinary event has occurred during your absence, Malek.” Toulas paused dramatically before blurting out, “Martouf has returned to the Tok’ra.”

Surprise was the first emotion to register with the newcomers. Varying feelings followed such as suspicion, curiosity, disbelief, and in Lantash’s case, complete shock. Martouf was alive? How?

Piqued by his curiosity and Lantash’s utter disbelief, Elias asked, “How is that possible? Is the council entirely convinced that it is indeed Martouf?”

Toulas leaned in closely as if telling a secret and Malek had to roll his eyes at Toulas’ behavior. One wouldn’t know it, but the Tok’ra were among the worst when it came to spreading gossip amongst themselves. The rumor about the Tau’ri and especially Martouf and Lantash’s infatuation with the last host of Jolinar lasted for over three weeks and by the end, there were over dozens of different versions of how they met and what they said to each other, it was ridiculous. This rumor was superceded only by the one about Anise and the falling out she had with one of her many Tok’ra lovers. Malek laughed mentally. Now that was quite amusing.

Tuning in, Malek heard Toulas answer Elias’ question. “The High Council will not discuss what happened, but Rye’an has said that Martouf explained that the *Nox* revived him after he had arrived mysteriously on their planet a few days ago. He said he had no idea how he got there and that when he expressed the interest to leave, the Nox activated the Chappa’ai and brought him here. It is true that Martouf is unblended; I myself sensed no symbiote within him. The council made him undergo tests to determine whether he is a Goa’uld spy or if he still has za’tarc programming. That was awhile ago, he might have finished by now. Rye’an informed me that while the council will not place him under guard, he will be watched and he is forbidden to enter any rooms of importance.”

Again, the first reaction was to raise their eyebrows in disbelief. Toulas’ story sounded too unbelievable. The Nox were well-known for their non-interference, but also for their peaceful ways. It did seem plausible that upon finding Martouf, they would have revived him. The question was how did Martouf end up on the Nox world? One answer popped out at them and it seemed the most likely: Jacob. But neither they nor the High Council had any proof to accuse him with. Jacob even had motivation: Martouf was his friend and it was no secret that Martouf and Jacob’s daughter had grown close since they met. Malek shook his head. Jacob would be in worlds of trouble when he returned and he hoped, for the sake of his friend, that he’d be able to get through it. Malek knew that many of the Tok’ra respected Jacob, not only because he was host to Selmac, but because of his personality. Jacob Carter was one of a kind.

Malek took a deep breath. “Well then, I suggest we talk to Martouf ourselves. Being close friends of his, I’m sure that he would like the company.” And perhaps he would tell *us* what he might not have told the High Council. He nodded goodbye to Toulas and along with Korra and Elias, transported down to the tunnels.

Turning to face Elias, Malek questioned, “Elias, Lantash, are you sure you wish to accompany us to visit Martouf? He might not have been informed of your present circumstances.”

Lantash answered. “Yes, this must be done. If...Martouf has not been informed, then he should and it is best if it comes from me. Martouf deserves that...and so much more.” Lantash’s eyes filled with pain. Never in his life had anything been so hard to do. Martouf had been his host for well over a century and now to face him, not being within him, but knowing exactly what he would be thinking; Lantash was filled with dread and an odd sense of betrayal that while the Tok’ra had spared every effort to save him, they had been willing to discard Martouf.

(Lantash, the feelings coming from you are so intense and overwhelming. Are you sure, you wish to do this now?) Elias asked, concerned and worried at the waves of pain, sadness, betrayal, remorse, and despair pouring off Lantash.

<I must. I owe Martouf this. It does not matter if I do this now or days from now, I know that to look at Martouf would only cause more pain regardless.> Lantash replied, trying to control his emotions.

Malek and Korra watched the inner struggle of their fellow Tok’ra and could only sympathize; not really knowing what Lantash must be going through and having no wish to go through the same experience.

“First, we must find out where Martouf is.” Korra suggested, sharing a sardonic look with Malek. “That should be relatively easy.” Korra stopped a passing Tok’ra and questioned her in Goa’uld. After a few moments, Korra nodded and thanked the Tok’ra, pointing to the tunnel on their left. “Martouf has been given quarters some ways down this tunnel.”

Lantash took a deep breath and walked steadily down the tunnel, his shoulders straightening and his posture tense. He, like every other Tok’ra, knew the layout of the base and so when he saw that a newly-made room had been grown, Lantash knew that Martouf, his former host, was in there. He hurried and entered the room.

The moment Lantash saw Martouf, he froze and his breath stopped.

<I cannot do this. It is too hard.> Flashed through his mind. Elias felt as if he were drowning in Lantash’s feelings; they were so intense and threatening to suffocate him. It was a struggle just to battle against such raw and painful emotion.

“Can I help you?” Martouf asked, looking at the black-haired Tok’ra who stood frozen at the entrance to his quarters. His brow creased in confusion; he had just finished undergoing numerous tests, surely, they didn’t want him to go through more?

Lantash continued to stare intensely at his former host, looking bewildered and he was assaulted by feelings of guilt and remorse at how they parted and the events afterward, disbelief and curiosity at the fact that Martouf was indeed alive, as well as pain and sorrow at their present circumstances. He struggled to breathe and it felt cold inside his body. His heart pounded, he was too absorbed in his turmoil that he did not attempt to calm himself down. He couldn’t have done it anyway; this was Martouf. A man whom Lantash had been blended with for well over a century, a man who was his closest and dearest friend, his confidante, his comrade, his other half; they hadn’t just shared one body, they shared their mind, their heart, their hopes, fears, and dreams.

“Malek! Korra!” Martouf saw his old friends come up from behind the unknown Tok’ra. He smiled lightly and bowed his head in greeting.

Malek and Korra gazed at their supposedly-dead friend and were astounded and also filled with the slightest apprehension. They exchanged glances and then looked at Elias/Lantash who remained locked away in the chaos of their own mind.

“Martouf, it is good to see that you are well...and alive.” Malek said steadily, still sneaking side glances at Lantash.

Martouf’s smile remained as he shrugged. “It is indeed a miracle.” Beneath their welcoming façade, Martouf detected slight tension and he joined in their looks to the mysterious Tok’ra who had yet to speak. Stepping up, he bowed his head. “I do not believe we have met. I am Martouf.”

I am Martouf... Lantash’s mind flashed back to their first meeting when Martouf had first joined the Tok’ra as an unblended host. It was not long after that that Lantash’s former host had died and Lantash had begun his journey as Martouf’s symbiote. He had said those very same words the day they met.

<It is too much. I cannot.> Lantash didn’t return Martouf’s greeting, choosing instead to rigidly turn away, raw pain evident in his eyes and somewhat stumbled out of Martouf’s quarters.

Martouf remained confused as he took in the rather odd and rude behavior of the unknown Tok’ra. He shot questioning looks at his friends and saw them grimace slightly.

“He appears to be rather upset. Did I offend him somehow?”

Korra sighed and clapped a hand on Martouf’s shoulder. “No, you did not. Martouf, I do not know if you are aware of some changes that have occurred in your absence.” Martouf nodded and Korra continued, “Are you aware that Lantash is alive and safe?”

Swallowing painfully, Martouf lowered his eyes to stare at the floor sadly. He took a moment to reign in his emotions before looking back up at the sympathetic faces of his friends. “Yes, I am.”

Malek exhaled heavily. “Lantash’s new host is named Elias.” He jerked his head in the direction that Lantash had left hurriedly. “That was Elias.” He rushed on as Martouf’s eyes widened and his head shot to the entrance of his quarters as if Lantash were still standing there. “We have just returned from the Tau’ri and were just now informed of your return. Jacob is still there, tending to his...daughter.” Malek pronounced the last word slowly, knowing it would incite a reaction.

It did. Martouf’s gaze snapped from the doorway to look frantically at Malek, taking in his quiet demeanor. “What do you mean? What has happened?”

Korra shook his head and tried to smile reassuringly. “No harm has come to Samantha Carter, Martouf. Jacob stayed behind to...lend her comfort, I suppose. She was made aware of both yours and Lantash’s present circumstances. This is the first news she has heard of both of you since the za’tarc incident and she was quite upset when she was informed of the aftermath.”

Martouf’s heart stopped briefly as he imagined what Samantha must be going through. It would be something akin to the present turbulence within his own mind and heart. And it was clear from Lantash’s wordless, but heartbreaking reaction to him that the three of them were experiencing so much pain and despair.

“Martouf, as Korra and I have just returned, we were not told of your miraculous revival.” Malek shot a subtle warning glance at Korra. “Perhaps now would be a good time to tell us.”

~~~~~

It wouldn’t only be Martouf, Lantash, and Sam who would be caught up in a world of emotions as hours later, Jacob made his way through the sand dunes when he was approached by two burly Tok’ra he had nicknamed the High Council’s hound-dogs.

“Jacob, you must accompany us to the High Council. They would like to question you.”  One of them said, gripping a staff weapon.

Looking at their blank faces, Jacob suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. It was obvious what the High Council wanted to talk to him about and were the weapons really necessary? Between Jacob’s military training and Selmak’s knowledge and field experience, these two pups had nothing on them.

“Please come with us, Jacob.”

Giving into the urge, Jacob rolled his eyes and quipped, “Where else would I go? For a nice stroll among the dunes?”

Walking slightly ahead of them, Jacob steeled himself. He could do this. All he had to do was play dumb and act innocent. Simple, right? It was too bad that the Tok’ra High Council was known for their excessively long interrogations.

(Good thing I ate before coming.) He thought, mouth quirking up. This sudden questioning and suspicion cast upon him could only mean one thing: Martouf was alive and he was back.