We Love as One – Chapter 13

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Martouf paced agitatedly in his quarters, waiting for Jacob’s return. What was he going to do now? He was no longer with Lantash or any other symbiote, was he now supposed to wait to become another host to another symbiote? And what of Lantash? It would be unnerving to say the least to know that his oldest friend, companion, his other half for the greater part of a millennia was now all those things to another Tok’ra.

He needed to talk to Jacob. He needed to sort out all these questions flying around in his head. While Martouf was grateful to Jacob for bringing him back from death, he could not help but wonder if being thrust back into his life was ever going to be the same.

The most important question in Martouf’s mind was the one concerning Samantha. He had heard earlier from Malek and Korra that Lantash and his new host had already met Samantha and told her of the situation, excluding Martouf’s return since they were unaware at the time. Martouf knew that Lantash was as much in love with Samantha as he was, would that mean that Lantash and his host would try to initiate a relationship with her? If so, where did that leave him?

Martouf needed to talk to Samantha. But first, he had to find Jacob. According to Tok’ra Intel or gossip, Jacob was being interrogated for his suspected part in Martouf’s revival; that could take awhile. For now, Martouf was slowly going out of his mind.

It felt odd to him that he could no longer sense when a fellow Tok’ra was coming close and it felt incredibly lonesome to hear nothing but his own thoughts inside his head. He missed having Lantash to talk, banter, and argue with.

Martouf couldn’t take much more of this waiting; never had he felt so on edge before. He ran a hand through his hair and gritted his teeth together to stop from screaming in frustration. He stopped pacing and walked out of his quarters, heading for Jacob’s chambers.

As he walked along, Martouf noticed the stares he was getting. He supposed it was because they all knew he had died and now he was back. Coming back from the dead and being given a second chance at life was somewhat of a rarity amongst the Tok’ra.

After asking the whereabouts of Jacob’s quarters, he walked to his destination. Peering around the corner made it known to Martouf that Jacob was still in front of the High Council. Martouf felt extreme sympathy for his friend and once again, thanked him for being such a good friend.

He was about to continue his pacing when a picture of Samantha on Jacob’s table caught his eye. Immediately Martouf strode toward it, picking it up and losing himself in the face of the woman he loved. She was smiling happily, as she hugged Jacob in the sunlight. Martouf marveled at the picture; he had no idea what made it.

He raised a hand to stroke Samantha’s face and found himself smiling as he imagined her smiling and laughing with him. He needed to see her. He needed her.

“Great picture, huh?” Jacob’s tired voice came from the doorway where he was standing, exhausted and cranky from his drilling by the High Council.

“Yes, it is. She looks very beautiful and happy. But tell me, how was this made?” Martouf asked, pointing to the picture.

Jacob smiled. “By something called a camera. It allows you to take pictures of anything you want. I’ll have to show one to you sometime, that is, if the High Council allows me to leave.” He sat down on his bed, facing Martouf.

Martouf turned to his friend, concerned. “The High Council has confined you to the base?”

“Not yet.” Jacob came over to Martouf and whispered softly, “I can’t talk about it now, but I promise when I’m assured that we’re not listened to, I’ll tell you everything.” Jacob patted Martouf on the shoulder and leaned against his table. “So,” He continued in a normal voice. “What brings you by?”

Martouf began pacing in front of Jacob. “I am,” He paused, searching for a term. “What you would say, going out of my mind. Since I am unblended, I am officially not Tok’ra and therefore have no duties assigned to me. Not that any would be, if I were; I have been gone too long. There is nothing for me to do here. I feel I must go somewhere to sort out my thoughts and what I am to do now with my life.”

Jacob nodded, mentally apologizing to his friend for placing him in such an awkward and troubling time for him, but anything was better than being dead, right? “How can I help?”

Martouf stopped pacing and stared once again at the picture of Samantha still in his hand. “I have heard from Korra and Malek that Samantha has been informed of Lantash’s new status.”

“Yes, she has. And what a helluva way to find out too, we were under strict orders not to reveal Lantash’s presence, but when Sam was in danger like that, Lantash was all out there, scooping her up and bringing her to safety. Well, I don’t know how she knew, but she saw that something was up. She confronted Elias and Lantash and they couldn’t lie to her. She was…shocked to say the least.” Jacob grimaced as he recalled his little girl’s face.

Martouf glanced quickly at Jacob. “Samantha was fired upon? Was she injured? Is she all right?” He asked worriedly.

Jacob chuckled. “You sound just like Lantash did when Doc Frasier was working on her. But yes, she’s fine. She’s a Carter, after all.” He smiled at his last statement.

Martouf nodded. “Did you tell her what was to happen to me?”

Jacob shook his head. “Nah, I mean, she asked, but I sort of skirted around the answer. I didn’t want to upset her. Though I think, Lantash told her. But if you’re asking if she knows you’re miraculously alive and kicking, the answer is no.”

Martouf cast his gaze downwards, thinking. “Then perhaps,” He said quietly. “It would be best if she remained unaware of my existence. I have already caused her enough pain and confusion, my reappearance would only serve to-“

“Hey, hey, hey! Now hold on just a minute. I know for a fact that my little Sammy will be overjoyed to see you again.” Jacob stopped to swallow painfully as he recalled the last few months of seeing his daughter so sad. “Martouf, you didn’t see her after you died, obviously. Sam was so sad and miserable, the life and spark in her eyes was just gone. She lost weight and it looked like she was just barely getting through life after what happened. She wouldn’t talk to no one; shut everyone out, even me. She just buried herself in her work for a couple months afterwards.

“Even now, months later, Sam still hasn’t recovered from losing you. I managed to get Daniel to confess that sometimes he still catches her crying. Sam was and is still heartbroken over the loss of you. Now, the overbearing, overprotective father in me doesn’t want to say this, but I’m going to: Martouf, my daughter loved you. She still loves you.

“By not making yourself known to her, it’ll hurt her even more, cause her more pain and suffering than I would like to see her go through and if you continue to do this to her, I will kill you again myself. I know you’re confused and troubled and hopefully all you’ll need is time to sort everything out. But if there’s one thing I do know, is that right now, you’re sure of only one thing and that is that you love Sam. So, I say go for it.” Jacob finished, not knowing whether to smile at his friend, punch him for keeping him awake for so long, or hurt himself for encouraging any man, human or Tok’ra, to make moves on his little girl.

Martouf stared a long time at Samantha’s picture and then smiled. He looked into his friend’s eyes and nodded determinedly. “You are right, Jacob. Tomorrow I will ask the High Council to visit Samantha.”

“Good, good. As much as I dread going back there and talking to them, I’ll come with you. God, I never knew I could hate a single room so much.” Jacob muttered, waving Martouf out. “Now go away, I, unlike you, have had a very busy day and would like to get some sleep.”

Martouf walked out of his friend’s chambers after murmuring a quiet ‘Thank you and good night’ and continued back to his quarters. Already he was feeling lighter and he hoped that tomorrow, all would go well.