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In Their Own Words - Jinx

Harm    Mac    Bud     Annie

Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr.

By Kimberly Knipp (MCK8686@aol.com)

Mac and I are on a new case to the USS America that hits a little too close for me. The crew thinks thereís a jinx on one of the squadrons. I lost one of my best friends Ė Luke Pendry Ė in one of the crashes. As I write this, theyíve lost all the pilots from that squad except for one. I donít believe in jinxes, karma, luck or whatever else you want to call it. There are explanations for whatís happening in the air but theyíve let themselves be spooked. The last pilot up with Pistol said he wouldnít go back up with him. Hell, I donít know what to make of this except there has to be a way to make them believe this isnít some jinx reaching out to them.

Iíve been to see Annie and Josh. Seeing her againÖ itís brought back up feelings I thought Iíd gotten rid of. It doesnít feel right-wanting her and still seeing her as Lukeís widow. I think she wants me, too. I can see it in her eyes but sheís nervous. Maybe sheís thinking about Luke, too. But heís dead and I knew him well enough to know he wouldnít want her to live the rest of her life alone. Josh is a great kid, one Iíd be proud to call my son. I think Annieís scared to get involved again. Especially with another Navy man. Josh wants to fly like me and his Dad and it scares her to death. I know she wants to discourage him from becoming a fighter pilot. I can only hope sheíll start to realize she canít chose his path for him. He has to chose it on his own.

~*~*~*~*~*

I got to fly the missing man formation today for the funeral. Turned out to be one helluva ride. I went up with Pistol and we had an accident tanking. The basket hit the canopy, the Plexiglass cut me in the head and I had blood and fuel in my eyes. Pete had to help me get us down. He wanted to eject and I wouldnít let him. Thank God I didnít. We found out after landing there was a piece of glass under his ejection firing pin. If weíd ejected my seat would have fried him. But we got the plane down and I canít describe to anyone how it felt to know I hadnít lost my instincts. I couldnít see, but with Peteís help we landed. I still have my guts. God, I miss flying! Itís like thereís a piece of me missing and nothing else is going to fill that. No matter how many cases I try, how many people I bring to justice, how many lives I change, it still doesnít replace flying. Itís hard for everyone else to understand that. Even Mac. She doesnít understand the rush, the power. She thinks Iím chasing after a lost dream. Maybe sheís right and maybe sheís not. Iím not ready to give up yet. I want to fly again full time. I donít want to spend the rest of my life at JAG. Itís been good to me but itís not me. Flying is in my blood. Itís who I am, what I believe in, the air I breathe. I will go back to it someday. If thereís any possible way or chance, I will be back there.

~*~*~*~*~*

Disclaimer: While based on the JAG episode, this is for entertainment purposes only and no profit is being made.