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Crazy-Ass Quotes
Well kids, I got rid of the . . .of the Week page and I've now taken to collecting some quotes which I find amusing.  Please read, giggle, and share with your friends while giving due credit.
"Jesus Brand Water: The Immaculate Refreshment."
My friend Marcy and I came up with this one after we saw the "1-800-Jesus2001" commercial on tv.  Now we've decided to market our own Jesus water.  We'll be rolling in the money.
"Mr. Speaker, this bill is phony with a capital F!"
   -an un-named congressman during a heated debate.
"I don't have masterbating accidents.  My masterbating is well timed and well executed.  Daily."
    -Mikey
"Be proud of your flounders and falter with pride
Fail without shame 'cause you never tried."

    -The Vandals "Failure is the Best Revenge"
"Patient failed to fulfill his wellness potential."
    -doctor's note on the chart of a patient who died
"NOTICE: Ramganga River is inhabited by crocodiles.  Swimming is prohibited.  Survivors will be prosecuted."
    -sign in Corbett National Park, Uttar Pradesh, India
"I'm not grumpy. . .I'm big boned!"
     -Mitchell
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