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|Dangerous Crab Cakes: A Second Helping
AN: Due to overwhelming, (WOW and thank you all very much) requests for a sequel, and though I am terrible at writing sequels, who am I to disappoint. Be aware that this will deviate from the show but I somehow don’t think anyone will mind that too much.
Summary: Mac gets to do to Harm what she (and many others) have dreamed of doing for a very long time. Now you know it’s not going to be that easy and remember, this is rated PG. You really have to have seen “Heros,” “Rendezvous,” “Offensive Action,” and “Ready or Not” and read “Dangerous Crab Cakes and Other Alien Life” for this to make any sense.
Warning: Mild language
Rating: PG for language
Disclaimer: If they were mine things would be much as I’m writing them to be.
Feedback: Any and all appreciated
Archive: Just let me know.
(Forget where it is)
That had to be the sexiest ass in the Navy, now ain’t that a double entendre. With butt pointed in her direction, head, or what passed for it, oblivious to all but whatever it was he was doing, the opportunity Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr. presented to Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie was just way too good to pass up.
“I shouldn’t,” she thought to herself as she stealthily neared that swaying backside, good enough to take a bite out of.
“He deserves it so much,” said her other non-judicious self, grinning from ear to ear.
“He’ll get even with you, you know that,” continued the internal deliberations.”
“Is that so bad? Anyway, he’s already angry with you, how much worse could it be and you know it’s gonna feel so good.”
With that last thought, the honorable temporary judge, Chief of Staff to the Judge Advocate General of the United States Navy, pride of the Marine Corp did to the Navy’s poster boy’s posterior what every Marine worth her salt had wanted to do to squids for decades. She hauled off and gave him a good swift kick in the rump.
“Hooh Ra.” Harm, his face having made unfortunate contact with a bowl of salsa, collapsed forward into the assorted snacks he was cleaning up. Embarrassed, astonished, a little angry and still just a bit buzzed, he turned to see his commanding officer, Admiral A.J. Chegwidden, standing in the entryway to the Roberts’ den warmly shaking the hand of a startled, blushing, Mac while patting her on the shoulder.
“Colonel, you’re a credit to the Corp. Whatever Rabb did, and knowing him as I do, I’m sure he did something to merit this action, I congratulate you on your excellent delivery and execution.” AJ looked like he was busting a gut holding in his laughter as he turned to Harm. “Commander, now you know what you feel like. Wipe your face.”
With their commanding officer’s departure, Harm collapsed further down onto the floor, rubbing his six and glaring at his chuckling partner.
“Very funny, your honor. I take it that you’ve been elevated to be jury and the executioner as well?”
Mac rolled her eyes, “Oh, comm’on Harm, lighten up,” she said as she knelt down with some napkins. But, as she reached to wipe the dripping salsa off of his nose, Harm swiped the napkins out of her hand rubbing them at his face, doing more, ah, harm than good.
“Okay, Colonel,” Harm looked up at her with his most lecherous leer, made even more scandalous by the effects of the remaining sauce. He crawled closer to her and slowly moved that seemingly x-ray vision up and down her body before coming to rest on her eyes. “How about you presenting your unguarded six to me for my pleasure and then I’ll lighten up.”
“Red light Commander.”
This time Harm rolled his eyes, the leer gone as if it never existed, as he fell back onto his haunches, “Red light, huh! But it’s okay for you. Now who’s being biased?”
This thing, whatever it was, was rolling out of control Mac thought as she got up and dropped herself down on the couch. Shaking her head in exasperation she sighed. “Harm, it was a joke.”
“Mortifying me in front of my commanding officer was a joke?” Harm got up off the floor and brushed the mess he had been attempting to clean up, off of his clothes. He knew he really wasn’t angry with Mac but he just couldn’t seem to help himself. The fact was if anybody else had done it, he’d be laughing with him or her by now. But for some reason, it hurt that Mac had done it. Mac’s actions always seemed to affect him more than those of anyone else.
“Harm, there is no way on this good green Earth that I could possibly mortify you more than you’ve already done to yourself. And you know it.“
Harm’s shoulders sagged at the truth of it. After seven years, Chegwidden still managed to bring up the HKA incident at every opportunity.
“Do I even want to know why you did it, or was it just that you haven’t kicked my butt hard enough in court yet?”
Exasperated by his hypocrisy, Mac sat straighter and looked up at him. “Who was it who said to me that what happens in the courtroom, stays in the courtroom? That no matter what happened inside those doors, outside we were still friends.”
“Throwing my words back at me, Colonel?”
“And you don’t throw my actions back at me?” she arched her eyebrow up in a good imitation of Harm.
Harm knew that one of his most despicable tactics, though he never failed to use it, was to hold the harsh mirror of her own past up to Mac whenever he felt pressured in a negotiation.
Mac couldn’t keep the smile from her face. “Besides, it did feel good to give you what you deserve, considering your chronic contempt of court, which I’ve been overlooking.”
“Contempt?” That was too much. “You think I’ve been contemptuous of you?”
“Harm, I didn’t say contempt of me. I said contempt of court. There is a difference.”
Harm suddenly felt the shame again. Why was he this way with her, only with her? “I have not been contemptuous in court,” he said with little conviction.
“Oh, come on. Harm, I’ve never seen you speak that way to Sebring or Morris or any of the other judges. You’ve been snide most of the time, flippant and sarcastic. Even the members have noticed and it’s affecting your case. So yes, contempt of court, and I have been letting it slide because…” she didn’t want to go on.
“Because?” Harm sat down next to her and pulled her face up to him.
“Never mind, we shouldn’t be talking about the case anyway.”
“We’re not talking about the case Mac, and you know it. We’re talking about our friendship.” He caressed her cheek. “We’re talking about you being the best friend you know how to be to me, even when I take it for granted.”
“Harm, we talked about this before the trial started. I told you I’d be fair. I’m doing the best I can.”
“Because, you know me, you know my playbook and you haven’t given me an inch when it was a matter of law, so you’ve been letting me slide on my treatment of you.” Harm did feel ashamed of himself then. Sturgis had been right and he had been a monumental ass, again.
“I’m sorry, Mac, I’ve been a jackass.”
“That’s nothing new.” Mac took the napkins from Harm’s hand and wiped the remaining salsa off his face.
Harm smiled. “Listen, since you kicked me in the butt, would you say that you owe me a straightforward answer to one question?”
All Mac’s defenses went up but fair was fair. “Uh, yeah. Okay, but just one.”
“Why do you put up with me? Why are you still such a good friend when I am such a rat to you sometimes.”
She knew she shouldn’t. He’d get back at her. It had hurt so much before to open up to him. But for once she knew it would feel so good to let go and let him have it right between the eyes. Before she had a chance to talk herself out of it, the words were out of her mouth “Because I love you.”
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