I sighed. "Think 'bout what?"

She shrugged. "Love at first site. You believe in it?"

I scowled, wondering why she was bothering me with her romanticism. "No, it's stupid. Lust at first site, maybe."

"It could happen." She said with a hurt tone to her voice.

I rolled my eyes. How I ever became friends with a hopeless romantic like Echo was beyond me, and sometimes I almost hated her for her stupid happily ever after theories of life and love. "Ya can't love someone ya don't know. It ain't possible."

She frowned a little more. "Do you believe in God?"

I blinked, taken aback. Sometimes it was like she just pulled the questions right out of the air, and I wasn't quite making the connection between love at first site and God. "I-I don't know." I said hesitantly. If I said yes I'd be lying and if I said no I wouldn't exactly be telling the truth either.

Her forehead creased in concentration. "Well, do you believe in angels or anything that you've never seen?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, I believe Conlon has humility somewhere unda' all dat ego."

Echo's eyes lit up for a second and a smile played on her lips. "I suppose that counts. Well, if you can believe in something as impossible as Rover having humility, why not love at first site?"

"I told ya why. It's just a stupid idea thought up by da same idiot who came up with the 'happily ever after' concept." I said, making it perfectly clear I was annoyed by her philosophical discussion.

She sighed. "Well, take Christians for example. Why don't they believe in love at first site? They can believe in a God they've never seen, and angels. They can believe in a flood that completely covered the earth and a whole sea being parted. Why do so many of them find it hard to believe in love at first site? Maybe God picks two people out of everyone in the whole world and decides those two people are meant to be together. Well, whose to say that the second those two people meet they know, deep down, that they are meant to be together forever. Bam, love at first site. Maybe it's just God telling them they are meant for each other."

I looked at her quizzically. "Where d'ya come up with this stuff?"

She shrugged. "I just think of it. You know, I believe in God but sometimes I just wonder what is wrong with Christians. I mean, they're supposed to be such wonderful people but they discriminate against anyone who doesn't think exactly the same. They are supposed to have so much faith but they can't believe in something so simple. Then there are the people who believe you have to be perfect to get into heaven, or you have to be rich, or you have to climb five mountains and pick the feather off an eagle's butt. But the Bible says very clearly that all you have to do is accept God into your heart. I just don't understand."

I laughed a little. "Dey're hypocrites, Echo. What's ta understand?"

She frowned, obviously not liking the idea. "Not all of them. Look at Ax and Brooklyn and all of those girls..." She stared at the ceiling of the bunk room in the girl's room. I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally she would give me some time to think about something worth my time. I frowned a little, trying to remember my thoughts. "Why do you hate Spot so much?" She asked out of the blue.

I turned to her, not even trying to hide my annoyance. "Are you insane?" I immediatly regretted the statement as a hurt expression started to form on her face. Normally she would consider the question a compliment, but we were both serious and that changed things. "It doesn't matta', Echo." I said, not quite able to apologize.

She pouted a little. "It does to me. I just don't understand why you should hate him so much."

I sighed. "Look, dere are lots a things in life ya won't understand. Just drop it, okay?" I stood up and crawled out the window and onto the roof. Crazy girl was always asking so many questions. Why'd I hate Spot? Hm. Ridiculous. Like it was any of her business anyway. I reached my hand up to touch my face as a tear trickled down my cheek. I wiped it away furiously and glared up at the sky. "This is your fault, ya know. None a dis woulda eva' happened if it weren't for you."

"How's da headlines, Raven?" Vinnie asked as he put an arm around me.

I shrugged. "Ya know, da usual. Hey, ya seen Spot anywhere?"

He sighed. "Aw, he's out wit dat goil. Da blonde one, ya know who I mean."

I nodded and frowned a little. "Yeah, I know da one. Ya think he'll be out late?"

"You know Spot. Chances are he won't be back 'til afta' we'se all asleep." Vinnie said with a slight shrugg.

"Yeah, I guess so. Hey uh, I'm gonna go back ta da lodgin' house. Kay?" I said after a second or so.

He nodded. "Yeah, sure kid."

I walked back and laid down on my bunk, resting the back of my head against my hands. "Raven, what're you doin' back heya so soon?" I heard a voice say from the next bunk.

I blinked and sat up quickly. "Spot? I thought you were out with uh... dat blonde goil. What're ya doin' back heya?"

He smirked. "I thought I asked you first."

"I just was kinda tired and decided ta come back heya an' get some sleep. What about you?" I said as I looked away.

He rested his cain against the wall. "Jenny had somewhera' ta go. Thought I'd come back early... wanna play a game a cards?"

I shrugged. "Why not?"

"Raven?" I heard Echo say gently as she climbed up the fire escape. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to pry."

"It's okay. I shouldn't 'ave got mad at ya like dat." I said quietly. "It's just dat I don't like rememberin' stuff dat happened a long time ago. I'm tryin' ta forget my past if ya must know."

She nodded and sat down next to me. "Yeah, I guess everyone does. It won't work though, not unless you get amnesia... and I don't believe that will happen. Of course, I could be wrong."

I smiled and laughed a little. "Yeah, I guess so. It's not a bad idea though. Maybe if I went down ta da alley an' you dropped somethin' heavy and hit me on da head I'd forget."

She shrugged and frowned a little. "Maybe. But your past makes you who you are... and if you got amnesia you'd loose the good memories as well as the bad."

I nodded and sighed. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Full house." I said cheerfully as I laid my cards down.

Spot shook his head. "Ya gotta be cheatin'. No way ya can beat me three games in a row! How'd ya do it?"

I shrugged. "Just lucky, I guess."

He smirked. "Yeah, I'll bet I know where yer luck somes from."

"Well, we're not playin' fer money so ya don't got no reason ta complain." I said with a slight laugh.

He stood up and held out his hands. "Hand 'em ova' Raven."

I stood up and laughed a little. "What're ya talkin' bout Spot?" I said innocently and backed up.

He smirked and grabbed my arm. "Da cards."

"Nope." I said playfully and tried to get away from him. I laughed a little as he struggled to get the cards I had up my sleeves. "You'll neva' get 'em, Conlon." I said as I turned to face him. He stared at me for a second and then kissed me. I froze and let the cards fall to the floor, feeling as if my heart had just stopped beating. He pulled back suddenly as the sound of footsteps drifted in the door.

"Raven, what are you thinkin' about?" Echo asked quietly.

"I thought I told ya not ta ask." I said, not taking my eyes off of the stars.

I heard her sigh a little. "Well, if I had known you were thinking of your past I wouldn't have asked, but I'm not psychic or anything." She said, annoyance fringing her voice.

I laughed a little. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Destiny." Spot said the name as if the girl were a goddess. I glared at him out of the corner of my eye, but tried to convince myself it was just another fling. Spot went out with a new girl every week, this one couldn't be any different. I sighed a little. Who was I kidding? He liked Destiny a lot. That didn't mean I had to like it though, she'd hurt him, I just knew it. I kicked myself mentally. Destiny was my best friend, this wasn't any way to think about her. 'But it's true!' I thought somewhere in the back of my mind. I guess it was. She was Catholic and she'd always said she'd never date someone who didn't believe in God, which Spot didn't. I frowned. Amazing how shallow some people could be. The second Destiny laid eyes on Spot she forgot all of her high and mighty morals. The thing that really got to me was that she couldn't seem to make up her mind. Sure, she talked about Spot constantly, but he wasn't the only one. Two days ago I had seen her holding hands with some other guy. I wouldn't do that. If I were going out with Spot I wouldn't even look at another guy. 'Why does she always get the guys?' I thought bitterly. I felt silly for a moment. This hadn't bothered me when she first told me. But then when I saw him kiss her I couldn't stop crying. It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve him.

"Hey Raven, you seeing any guys?" Echo asked, apparently she wasn't in one of her quiet moods today.

I shrugged. "Nah, not really."

She looked over at me. "What about that guy from the Boury... what's his name. Skeeter?"

"We date off and on. Nothin' serious." I said honestly.

She frowned a little. "You think you'll ever fall in love?"

I rolled my eyes. "Geez, what is it with you an' love? Is there a name for what's wrong wit you? Cinderella complex? Snow White syndrome? Fairy tale disorder?"

She smiled half heartedly. "I can't help it. But I'm serious, haven't you even cared a little about a guy?"

I shrugged a little. "I guess ya'll neva' know."

"There's a dance tonight at Medda's... I wish Tony could take me." Destiny said excitedly. I sent her a sceptical glance. Tony? She was seeing Spot.

I tried to hide a small frown. "Who'se Tony?"

She smiled. "He's a guy from my old town. Too bad it's so far away." She brushed her hair out of her face. I looked her over. Kind of long light brown hair, nothing too special, it was even a little stringy, but it was still prettier than my almost black hair. Blue eyes... oh sure, she liked to think they were grey but they were closer to a greenish-blue. A slender figure. I sighed. Maybe Spot just got caught up in her looks and when he saw what kind of a person she really was he'd realize that I was the one he really loved... maybe.

Echo stood up. "I'm goin' back down to the bunk room."

I sighed a little as the memories began to get to me. "You're lucky to have Jack, Echo."

She stared down at me. "You okay Raven?"

I glared at her. "Yeah, I was just saying you were lucky to have Jack, that's not a crime. Is it?"

She shook her head. "No, but it's not like you."

"Yeah, I guess so... but it's true." I said after a pause. "Jack loves you, an' you love him. That's more dan I'll eva' have."

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Oh, you don't know that. I'm sure someday you'll meet the most handsome guy in the world and he'll sweep you right off your feet."

I shook my head. "Nah, I'll never be lucky in love. I'm just cursed."

"Spot, do ya really like Destiny?" I asked meekly.

He smiled, not noticing how scared I was of what I was about to do. "Ya, she's great. I think I love 'er."

My heart fell. "Oh." The music in Irving Hall slowed a little to a waltz. "Where's she now?" I asked, noticing that Destiny hadn't showed up yet.

He shrugged a little. "I don't know... but she'll show up soon."

My heart fell in disappointment. He liked her, he really liked her. "Spot... I know she's me best friend an' all but uh..."

He turned to look at me. His eyes sparkled a little as he asked, "Yeah Raven?"

I looked away. He was happy, he was really happy. How could I take that away from him? And what if he hated me after I told him? "Nothing." I mumbled and looked away.

He offered a hand as the music picked back up. "Wanna dance?"

I smiled and nodded. "I'd love ta."

"Raven? You must have cared about someone once... who was it?" Echo asked sheepishly.

I frowned, wishing I had just said no when she had asked if I'd ever really cared about anyone. "No one special."

She smiled. "Then you were in love! Who was it?"

I looked up at her, hurt almost that she would ask. The past was something I didn't want to tell. It was mine to regret and cherish, not hers. Oh well. "Someone that hates me now is all I'm gonna say." I said, refusing to give anything else away.

She seemed confused for a second and then frowned. Not an upset frown, more of a concerned frown. "You were in love with Spot?"

My head snapped up. "Uh... no." I said, almost too shocked to try and hide the fact.

She nodded, a distant look on her face. "Yes, you love Spot... you've never hated him after all."

I glared at her. "Just drop it Echo. Who I love ain't any o' your business." I said as I walked over to the ledge of the building and stared down at the street.

The music had slowed back down to a waltz again. I smiled a little. Magic. Oh sure, he loved Destiny... but he was dancing with me. "Spot." I said, caught up in the moment.

He smirked. "Yeah, kid?"

"Don't ya wonda' where Destiny is?" I asked, finally deciding that he had to know. He might be happy now, but she'd hurt him. Maybe I could spare him that pain.

He shrugged. "She said she had things ta do."

I took a deep breath. "Well, I know yer gonna think I'm horrible sayin' dis but... she don't love ya, Spot." He stopped swaying with the music and his grey eyes turned to ice. My heart stopped when I realized what was about to happen but I went on, knowing I had to get it all out. "She's always talkin' bout otha' guys and flirtin' wit 'em... she even goes out wit 'em sometimes."

He glared at me and stepped back, his lips pressed thinly together. "Raven, don't talk 'bout Destiny dat way."

I blinked, understanding that he would never believe me. "But it's true." For a second I thought he would hit me, but he didn't. The funny thing was, he didn't say anything. I turned around and walked out of Irving Hall, surprised my shaking legs would even support me.

Echo was silent for the first time since I had come over and all I could hear was her breathing. "Why don't ya say somethin'? I know dat romantic little brain o' yours must be reelin' wit thoughts right now." I said coldly.

I heard her sigh. "There's nothing to say."

I nodded. "Yeah, sometimes there just ain't."

"Vinnie?" I asked as I saw my friend selling not far away. "Vinnie!" I said again. He kept selling his papes. "Hey!" I said as I grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. "Where's Destiny?" I asked, she hadn't come to talk to me all day.

He glared at me. "Ask Spot." He said coldly and then turned his back to me without a word.

I tilted my head sideways, confused. Why had he looked at me like that? I walked to the lodging house. I had already been looking for Spot and he wasn't in his selling spot. "Spot?" I asked meekly as I walked into the dark bunkroom. No one seemed to be there. "Conlon? Why don't ya show yer ugly mug." I said, trying to joke but wasn't quiet able to keep my voice from breaking with fear.

"Get outta Brooklyn." Said a flat voice from behind me. I jumped and spun around. Spot was sitting on a bunk behind me. He held out a bag with my things inside. "An' don't eva' come back."

Tears brimmed my eyes and threatened to spill over. "But, why? Where's Destiny?"

His grey eyes stayed cold and uncaring. "She's gone. Now get out." He said angrily. I grabbed the bag and ran.

"I don't understand... why'd he ever kick you out of Brooklyn?" Echo finally asked.

I turned to face her. She seemed to be upset with Spot, maybe she didn't like thinking he might have hurt me. "I told him his girlfriend was cheating on him."

She looked down. "So, I'm guessing that's why you came to Manhattan?"

I nodded. "Yeah... and where I met Oscar."

I didn't like Manhattan much. It wasn't nothin' like Brooklyn. "You lost?" I jumped as I heard a voice behind me.

I turned around. "No... who are you?"

He smiled a little. He had a nice smile. "Oscar Delancey." He said and offered a hand.

I shook with him. "Raven. You wouldn't happen ta know where I could find a place ta stay, would ya?" He seemed nice enough.

He shrugged. "I might, sweetheart."

"Raven, did you love Oscar?" Echo asked, she was staring at me now.

I shrugged a little. "I cared for 'im, but I didn't love 'im."

Echo frowned a little. "How did you get to be friends with him? I mean, no offense, but Oscar isn't exactly the friendliest person in the world."

I sighed. "I've tried ta figure dat one out too, but I don't even know."

I smiled at Oscar as he walked up to my selling spot. "Hey darlin'. I see ya decided ta stay wit da newsies."

I nodded. "Yeah, they're okay guys."

He played with a strand of my hair. "Ya wanna go get a drink?"

I looked away, the newsies hated Oscar, especially Spot, and it was clear his intentions were less than honorable... but I would make Spot sorry, I would. I drew a deep breath and looked up boldly. "I'd love ta."

Echo stared at me. "Raven, why don't you talk to him?"

"He wouldn't listen... anyway, I couldn't stand to face 'im again. I shoulda just kept my mouth shut." I faked a smile. "It's just.. the girl dat cheated on 'im was a friend of mine an' I was always in 'er shadow, ya know? I got so sick of 'er always bein' da perfect one an' den she got Spot an' she didn't even realize what she had. It just wasn't fair. When I finally did tell 'im he was so mad an' all I wanted was ta get even... it just ain't fair, Echo."

She nodded. "I know how you feel Raven but it'll all be okay. I mean, it could be worse."

I clenched my teeth, frustrated with the memories that just wouldn't go away. "No, it couldn't be. You don't know nothin' bout my life. Don't tell me it could be worse, it can't be. An' you can't help me by actin' all sweet and optimistic, so don't try." Her bottom lip trembled a little, I had upset her again. "Spit it out. Whatever it is your thinkin' spit it out. Don't worry bout me, I probably need ta hear it." I added dryly, knowing I probably deserved a lecture.

She sighed. "Raven, we all have problems, okay? Some are worse than others but everybody still has them... including me. You may deal with yours differently than I deal with mine but things could be worse."

I scowled. "Easy for you to say."

"Okay, fine. Let me put it this way. You're sitting there staring at the stars, you have all of your five senses still intact, you have friends who care about you.... I'm sure you wouldn't mind if those things were taken away because we both know things can't get any worse." She glared at me as she finished her harangue.

I started to argue with her but thought better of it. "You may have a point, but I'm in a shitty mood right now, so don't expect much of me."

I walked into the Boury. So far Spot had kicked me out of Brooklyn and Jack had kicked me out of Manhattan. Maybe I could get some kind of record. I smiled seductively at a nearby newsie. "Anywhere I could stay 'round heya?"

He ran his eyes over me. "I might be able ta help ya."

I smirked. "Might? Now that just ain't good enough."

"I used ta be a lot like you... well, a little like you. I was never a big romantic or nothin', but I wasn't cynical then." I smiled a little and looked over at Echo. "Da guys would tell jokes an' stuff an' I wouldn't know what dey was talkin' bout."

She nodded and laughed a little. "Yeah, that was me until I came to New York... then I met all of these foul mouthed guys. What happened to you?"

I shrugged and looked at the stars. "After Spot kicked me out of Brooklyn I just didn't care anymore. I used ta blame 'im for what I had turned into... but it wasn't 'is fault. I shoulda known betta'."

I smirked as I stood in the middle of the Brooklyn Bridge. Spot Conlon wouldn't keep me out, not if I wanted to be here. Samantha Cole had loved Spot Conlon, but a lot had changed since then. It was like that one myth, the dove was white and then one day it got burned somehow and it's feathers turned black and then it was a raven. A raven was all that was left of me: the innocence, faith, and naivity had died long ago. I pulled a rosary out of my pocket and kissed it. "Bye Sam." I said simply and threw the rosary over the bridge.

Echo stared off into the night solemnly. "Raven, haven't you ever thought you could start over again?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

I walked along the beach by the ocean, wiping angry tears from my eyes. Everything was so screwed up, sometimes I wondered why I didn't just end it all for good. I glared up at the sky. "Yeah, ya think yer so great. Well, who's ta say your even up dere?! Huh?! If yer up dere, den why did ya abandon me? Why?!" I picked up a few rocks and threw them at the heavens, stopping once I came to an odd shaped stone. I blinked the tears away and squinted at the object. Brushing the sand away, I saw that it was a rosary, and despite the wear from it being pounded against the sand by the ocean waves, I could still see that it was my rosary. Slightly subdued, I looked up at the sky and nodded in approval. "Okay, that was good. I gotta admit, yer gettin' better at dis.." There was no use in denying a good adversary when you saw one. I smiled as I tossed the rosary up and caught it again, then put it in my pocket, looking up once more. "Don't think this means I believe in ya or nothin'."

She looked down and nodded a little sadly. "Yeah, I guess you believe what you believe... hey, let's get some sleep, okay?"

I nodded a little and cast a wondering glance at the sky as she climbed down the fire escape. "I didn't believe anythin' for a long time, but things can change... Can't they?"

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