"Thank you, officer." A snobby voice said. After a grunted reply, the cop left her standing on the almost deserted street gasping for air.
"Krissy, I've been looking for you everywhere."

Psycho gave him a glare that would have killed a normal, intelligent person. "Obviously not, Davis, or you would have found me hours ago." Her tone was polite and almost sweet.

Davis frowned at his way-ward cousin. Kristan was always too wild. Her mother and father spoiled her half to death. He for one wasn't surprised when she ran off. Nor did he care. If not for his great uncle, Franklin, dying he wouldn't have given her a second thought. Unfortunately, Franklin HAD died and left something to Kristan. A small box was in his bag for her. "Listen, Krissy." He said, frowning distatefully over her name, "I'm only here to give you your inheritance from Uncle Franklin."

Kristan looked at him in disbelief, "Uncle Franklin?" She swallowed. "He died?"

Rolling his eyes, Davis nodded. Then he preceeded to tell her all about it. Finally, he pulled out the box and a sheet of paper. "You have to sign that before I give you the box. As proof that I gave it to you." He sounded annoyed that anyone would dare question his integrity.

Bored with his company, Psycho snatched the form from his hand. The second she was finished reading and signed her name he snatched it back. Then he shoved the box into her hands and walked away without another word.

"Asshole." She muttered, then turned her attention to the box. It was made of wood and had her uncle's initials carved in the top. She reached for the clasp. It was locked. "Oh, great. He left me a locked box." Kristan looked up and smiled at the people staring at her. "What are you looking at?!" She yelled, her smile fading into an angry glare. The small crowd began to drift away. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

When a hand touched her shoulder, Psycho screamed. "Oops, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Psycho turned and grinned at her friend. "Yeah, right. Hey, Echo."

"Where ahve you been all day, Psycho?" She gestured to the box, "And that's that?"

Psycho raised her eyebrow, "What's it look like?" Without waiting for an answer she continued. "It's a box. A locked box. My great uncle, the only person in my family I got along with, died. He left me this."

"A locked box?" Echo interrupted.

Psycho nodded, "My idiot cousin, who by the way would love your idiot cousin, brought it to me. I heard he was in town so I went into hiding."

"You hid?" Echo asked in disbelief.

Psycho looked sheepish. Echo fought back her smart ass remark. "So you wanna go to Tibby's?"

"Sure."


Once at Tibby's, they were joined by Brooklyn and Spot. After Psycho had related the story, the subject changed and she decided to take a closer look at her inheritance. She traced her finger around the carved letters. Her finger hit something and the bottom of the box fell off. A smaller box made of some kind of strange metal clanged to the table. A tiny envelope slid off to the floor. Her name was written in her uncle's chicken scratch handwriting. Brooklyn picked it up, "Hey you got it open, sort of."

Psycho took the envelope and broke the seal. Inside she found a folded sheet of paper. "What is it?" Spot asked, trying to read over her shoulder. Brooklyn yanked him back to his seat. Finally Psycho looked up. "Did I ever tell you guys that my uncle thought he was an inventor?"

Echo and Brooklyn exchanged a glance. "What do you mean 'thought he was an inventor' he either was or wasn't." Echo looked confused.

"Well, he did invent things. They just never did what he expected them to do."

Suddenly Brooklyn was suspicious. "Why are you telling us this crap?"

"Um... because... Well, listen." Psycho picked up the note from her uncle. "My dearest Krissy." Spot broke in with a chuckle. "Spot, shut up!" She glared at him. "Now where was I. Oh, How could I forget." Then she started where she left off. "Aas my only living relative with half a brain, I am leaving you my newest invention. I know what you're thinking and let me assure you it will work. Unfortunately, I don't know exactly what will happen. I'm asking you to find out for me. All you have to do is push the red button to go and the green one to return. Or was it the other way around? Anyway, please try. It means so much to me. I know you can succeed in this mission I've intrusted to you." Psycho looked up. "So what do you think? Should I try it?"

Just as Echo was about to answer, Jack came in. After catched him up, Echo turned to her friend. "Psycho, why would you want to try this?"

She shrugged, "It might not even work. My uncle was, well, on his way to Nutsville before I left."

"But what if it does work? What if something terrible happens?" Brooklyn realized that she sounded paranoid and wimpy, she had the strangest feeling that something was wrong.

"Get a grip, Brookle." Echo told her.

"It was my uncle's last wish that I do this. I'm doing it." Psycho grabbed the box. Even though she knew it was a bad idea, Echo volunteered to go too.

"How are you supposed to do that?" Jack asked.

"Maybe if she's touching me, she can." Psycho said with a shrug.

"Then we'll all try it." Jack and Spot said at the same time. Brooklyn's eyes widened, but she nodded.

"Okay, then let's go some place more private." Psycho gestured around the crowded restaraunt. They decided on a deserted house in Manhattan. They went their seperate ways, promising to meet there in one hour.


"Are you guys sure you want to do this?" Psycho gave them a chance to back out.

"Just give me your hand and push the button." Brooklyn said.

"Guess I'll try the red one." Everyone laid a hand on Psycho's arm. She pressed the button. Nothing happened. "Okay, so it's the green one." She slammed down the button.

Bright lights flashed in her eyes then rushed past. It seemed she was traveling down a multicolored hallway. Images flashed by. She heard her friends' voices. It only took a few seconds but they were screaming anyway. Suddenly she felt herself falling, she hit the ground and set up to look around. What she saw finally caused her to scream. She was in a drawing. Echo grabbed Psycho's arm, "Where are we?"

Brooklyn, her voice shaking, asked, "What are we?"

Psycho screamed again, "Oh my God!! I'm round. And short. I'm a cartoon."

As her friends tried to figure out where they were, Psycho looked around. At least they were alive. Finally, she cleared her throat, everyone turned to her. "I'd say it worked." She would have said more, but the sound of strange voices came drifting across the snow.

"Dude, where the fuck did they come from?" A fat little boy said.

"They weren't there before." His friend in a green hat pointed out.

A kid whose face was almost completely hidden behind an orange hood mumbled something.

Psycho looked at Echo who said, "Huh?" Brooklyn was about to ask where they were when the fat kid spoke again.

"What the hell happened to your fucking hair, dude?" Everyone but Brooklyn turned to stare at Jack's hair. Brooklyn slapped the fat boy, "Don't cuss!"

"Why not, bitch?" he asked. She slapped him again. Then not knowing what to say to that, she turned on Jack.

Poor Jack's hair, while perfect on a handsome guy, looked awful on a short round guy. It stuck up in every direction and was a color much like poop. "Oh, gross!" Echo said, backing away. A few drops of oil dripped from the greasy unwashed pile of crap on top of Jack's head.

The fourth little boy, this one in a blue had was promptly sick. Psycho groaned and threw up too. "Gross Psycho."

"Sorry," she turned to the boys, "Who are you guys?"

It was the fat boy that responded, "Who are you?"

"I'm Psycho. That's Echo, Brooklyn, Spot, and the guy with the shitty hair is Jack." Brooklyn slapped at Psycho who dodged.

The guy with the green hat finally relented their names, "I'm Kyle." He pointed at the boy who had thrown up, "That's Stan. That's Kenny." The kid with the orange hood waved. "And the fat dude is Cartman."

Cartman yelled, "Don't call me fat you pigfucker!" Brooklyn gasped.

"Don't say fuck" she screamed. Everyone turned to stare at her.

Psycho's mouth dropped open, "Brooklyn, you said fuck."
"I did NOT!"

"Yes, you did. You said..."

Brooklyn screamed, "I Did Not Say FUCK!"

"She said it again!" Spot whispered loudly to Jack.

"I did not."

Finally the peacemaker of the group, Echo, said, "Okay it doesn't matter." She turned to Cartman, "Where are we?"

"Duh, dumbass. South Park."

"Huh?" Spot asked as Brooklyn muttered, "Don't cuss." A small stream of drool ran from the corner of her mouth.

"Eeeeew! She's drooling." Spot said in total disgust.

Cartman spoke up trying to be helpful and friendly, "Um... bitch? You have drool on your face."

Brooklyn gave an exasperated scream. Her face turned bright red and was on it's way to purple when smoke began pouring from her ears.

"Sweet dude!" Kyle told Stan.

Psycho would have said something, but a weird feeling came over her. Suddenly, she did begin to speak, but it wasn't her words. She tried to stop the flow of the terrible words, (some of which she wasn't even sure what they meant), but she couldn't. It was as if someone had taken control of her vocal cords.

When the moment had passed, she looked around at the startled faces of her friends and the impressed faces of the locals. Brooklyn's head looked like it was going to explode, she leapt at Psycho to rip out her throat.

Spot stepped in front of Psycho and Brooklyn, not seeing clearly in her rage, ripped his throat out instead. Blood ran out of the hole and pooled on top of the snow as it does only in cartoons. Brooklyn blinked and turned to Psycho. They both shrugged. Only Echo seemed bothered. "Spot's dead."

"Yep, he sure is." Psycho told her. Finally Echo shrugged. They turned to their new friends, "So, you guys have any food? We're starving."

"Yeah, sure. Let's go to my house." Stan said. They walked away leaving Spot's body behind.

As they walked along, Jack began whining about his hair. "I'm supposed to have perfect hair. I always have perfect hair."

Kenny mumbled something. Jack glared at him, "What did he say?"

Cartman grinned, "He said that nobody gave a damn and he wishes you'd shut up about your fucking hair." Jack ignored Cartman's helpful translation.

"Echo, do you still think I have perfect hair?"

Psycho answered for her. "Jack sometimes the truth hurts but no, you don't have perfect hair. Your hair looks like a giant pile of cow crap on top of your head." She smiled sweetly. "Does that answer your question?"

With an anguished scream, Jack ran off. Soon he disappeared into a clump of trees. Psycho exchanged a look with Cartman, "I think he took it well."

Echo turned to Psycho, "You don't think he'll do anything stupid, do you?"

"Do you want the whole truth or the edited version complete with a lie?"

"Um... the edited. I guess."

"Okay then, Echo. No Jack is the smartest person in the world. He wouldn't do anything foolish because he's too intelligent. Never has, never will."
Brooklyn, in her slightly out of it mood, found Psycho's answer hilarious and prompltly sat down and laughed.

"Dude... this is fucking weak!" Cartman broke in. Brooklyn gave a little squeal of pain.

Echo looked at Psycho, "Psycho, that wasn't exaclty reassuring."

"Sorry, dude." Psycho looked a little confused at her use of the boys' word. "Echo, we don't know where Jack is. So he'll have to deal with his own problems without us. So your worrying is probably useless."

Though she knew Psycho was right, Echo was still worried. She decided to keep her worries to herself and nodded in response to Psycho. "Are we going ot nor?" Stan said. Psycho nodded. "Yeah, let's go."

She turned to Brooklyn who was still on her butt in the snow, "Come on Brooklyn."

When Brooklyn didn't move Kenny said something.

"Huh?" Psycho and Echo asked together.

'You don't want to know," Kyle told them. Brooklyn giggled, "He's right. You don't want to know."

"You understood that?" Echo asked her in disbelief.

At Brooklyn's nod, Psycho grinned. "Yep, that proves it. She's lost any mind she might have once had. Let's go." She grabbed Brooklyn's arm and jerked her to her feet. They continued on their way and soon they arrived at Stan's house. After raiding the kitchen, they sat down to watch the boys' favorite show. When it came on Echo almost choked on a Cheesy Poof. Two guys with flappy heads were farting all over each other. Psycho's eyes widened at the usage or several words she didn't consider proper for anyone. But she just shrugged and couldn't resist a laugh.

Brooklyn; however, turned a lovely shade of purple and began sputtering.

Psycho frowned. "What?" Brooklyn was still unable to get past the sputtering. She couldn't even get to the stuttering stage. "Dang it, Brooklyn. Stop spitting on everyone and say it. You're worse than Kenny."

Brooklyn was in a very aggravated state of mind and didn't answer. Kenny mumbled something. Obviously it wasn't much too nice. Brooklyn grabbed the strings on his hood and pulled. His head popped off and rolled across the floor. It hit the wall and was carried off by rats. "Eeew." Psycho gagged, "I hate rats." Then she heard, "She killed Kenny! You Bastard!!!"

This was all too much for Brooklyn. For a moment smoke poured from her ears. Fire danced in her eyes. Then without warning, she burst into flame. "Aaaaaaaaaa!" Echo screamed. Psycho's mouth dropped open. "Aw, weak dude." Cartman yelled. Brooklyn dropped to the floor.

As the smoke cleared, Echo whispered "Shge was my best friend." Psycho suddenly remembered the box. "Echo let's go home. Now before something else terrible happens."

"We can't leave without finding Jack."

"Oh yeah."

At that moment, they heard shouts outside. The remaining group ran to the door. When she saw Jack, Psycho didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or throw a fit. He had a gun, and a pair of scissors and was standing in a crowd, screaming at the top of his lungs, "I'll cut it, I swear I will."

"Cut what?" Psycho asked Echo. Echo shrugged and asked, "Where did he get that gun?"

"Jack!" Psycho called. He glanced at her, "Jack we're going home. Once we get there everything will be fine."

"My hair will be perfect again?"

"Yes, now put down that gun and come on." After a few seconds he did as he was told. Psycho pulled out the box. She turned to Cartman, Stan, and Kyle. "I'm so sorry about your friend."

Kyle shrugged, "That's okay, we never really liked him anyway."

"Oh well, goodbye and thanks for showing us around."

"No problem dude."

Psycho smiled, "Ready?" she asked Echo and Jack. At their nods she pushed the button. Immediately they were hurled down a corridor of lights.

A few seconds later, they realized they were standin gin the drafty abandoned house. The first thing Jack did was check his hair. "It it perfect?" he asked. He squealed with joy when Echo assured him it was.

Psycho grinned, "Gee, Jack, Don't pee your pants."

Then a familiar voice said, "Yeah, and you scream like a girl."

Echo gasped, "Brooklyn!"

Before Brooklyn could answer, Spot walked in, "It's about time you guys showed up."

After the happy reunion, they decided the box had to be destroyed. No one else should ever have to experience that strange place called South Park...


Meanwhile back in South Park...

Kyle turned to Stan, "Those people were messed up."

'Yeah, but they were kind of cool." Cartman grinned, "That one had a thing for us."

"Yeah, right fat ass." Stan said.

Cartman was offended, "Screw you guys, I'm going home."


The next day, Psycho took the box into an alley and with a 'borrowed' hammer, she smacked it to tiny pieces. She turned to Echo, Jack, and Brooklyn, "You know, I am going to miss Cheesy Poofs." Jack took the hammer from her and walked away, running his fingers through his perfect hair.

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