Sung to "You Could Drive a Person Crazy"
Bounders
Doo doo
Marguerite
Doo doo
Percy
Doo!
Percy and Bounders
First I / you make a Chauvie hazy
So a Chauvie can be had
Bounders
Doo doo
Marguerite
Doo doo
Percy
Doo!
Percy, Marguerite, and Bounders
Then I / you leave a note for Chauvie
Dangling
Outside his door
Which it only makes a Chauvie
Madly
Want me / you even more
I could understand a Chauvie
If it’s not a Chauvie’s bag
Bounders
Doo doo
Marguerite
Doo doo
Percy
Doo!
Percy, Marguerite, and Bounders
I could understand a Chauvie
If that Chauvie was a drag
Bounders
Doo doo
Marguerite
Doo doo
Percy
Doo!
Percy, Marguerite, and Bounders
Doo doo doo doo
But worse ‘n’ that that
A Pimpernel that
Titillates a Chauvie and then leaves him flat
Is crazy
He’s a troubled person
He’s a truly crazy person himself!
Percy: (Spoken) Wait a second!
Bounders
When a person’s personality is personable, his cravat should never sit like a lump
Percy
It’s harder than a matter to coercible, to try to get you off of your rump!
Marguerite
A single and attentive and attractive man is everything a person could wish
Percy, Marguerite, and Bounders
But wearing no frou-frou is the act of a man who likes to pull the hooks out of fish!
Percy and Bounders
(Knocking on Chauvelin’s head)
Knock, knock, is anybody there?
Knock, knock, it really isn’t fair
Knock, knock, I’m working on my charms
(Chauvelin looks scared. Percy bats his eyelashes.)
Knock, knock, this citizen’s up at arms!
All that black up close
What is wrong?
Where’s all the frou-frou to boast?
How long, Oh Lord, how long?
I / You could drive a Chauvie buggy
I / You could blow a Chauvie’s cool
Bounders
Doo doo
Marguerite
Doo doo
Percy
Doo!
Percy, Marguerite, and Bounders
First I / you make a Chauvie feel all smug-gy
While I / you make him feel a fool
Bounders
Doo doo
Marguerite
Doo doo
Percy
Doo!
Bounders and Marguerite
When a Chauvie says that you’ve upset him
That’s when you’re good
You impersonate a dandy better
Than the Pimpernel should!
Marguerite
I could understand a Chauvie
If he wasn’t good in bed
Bounders
Doo doo
Marguerite
Doo doo
Percy
WHAT?!?
Bounders and Marguerite
I could understand a Chauvie
If he actually was dead
Bounders, Percy, and Marguerite
Doo doo doo doo
(To Chauvelin)
Exclusive you
Elusive you
Will any person ever get some frou-frou on you?
You’re crazy
You’re a lovely person
You’re a moving, deeply maladjusted
Never to be trusted
Crazy person
Yourself!