The Scarlet Pimpernel:

The Animated Version

Okay, I’m not saying that this is what it would be like if Disney tried to animate The Scarlet Pimpernel. (Although that thought has crossed both my mind and a few sheets of paper!) If that were so, Chauvelin would be hideous and demonic, Marguerite would have an impossibly small waist and a perfect complexion, and the Bounders would be various talking animals. (Can’t you just see it: Lord Tony the Tiger. “The Pimpernel’s Grrrrrrr-eat! Okay... never mind.) However, if you’ve read my other thing of the Pimpernel set to songs from other musicals, this is just the same thing only instead of songs from other musicals, it’s songs from animated movies. Don’t worry, you’ll catch on quick. Also, quick note. The only songs that’s not altered in any way is “Where Do I Go From Here?” from “Pocahantas II”. All the others are altered in one or more of the following ways: Shortened for inappropriateness or length, character’s names changed, or a couple words changed here and there. For the most part, they remain pretty much intact. Also, this follows the musical from SP2 and on.

The musical starts as it usually does. A dark theater. A conductor walks onstage, bows, settles himself in place, then pipes up the orchestra into a rousing fanfare. The curtain parts to reveal six French girls who bubble over in an introduction to Marguerite’s song.

(Daughters of Triton from “The Little Mermaid”)

Various Singers of the Comedie Francais:

Ah, we are the daughters of Liberty
Great mother who loves us and named us well
Aquata, Andrina, Arista, Atina, Adella, Allana
And then there is the youngest in her musical debut
Our seventh little sister, we're presenting her to you
To sing a song Sebastian wrote, you’ll be breathless, you won’t speak
She's our sister, Marguer...

Before they can even finish singing, another small curtain has parted and we see Marguerite enter wearing an audacious outfit and a blonde wig. She smiles as she begins to sing, her voice thick with its French accent.

(Paris Holds the Key (to Your Heart) from “Anastasia”)

Marguerite
Welcome, my friends, to Paris.
Here, have a flower on me.
Forget where you're from,
You're in France!
Children, come!
I'll show you that French
Joie de vivre!

Paris holds the key to your heart
And all of Paris plays a part

Accordian Player & Lady Flower Seller
You'll stroll two by two
Down what we call "la rue"

Marguerite & All
And soon all Paris
Will be singing to you!
Ooh La La
Ooh La La
Ooh La La!

Marguerite
When you're feeling blue
Come to Le Moulin
When your heart says don't,
The French say do!

Can Can Girls
When you think you can't
You'll find you can can!

Marguerite
Everyone can can can!

Marguerite & Can Can Girls:
You can can can too!
Whee!
Whee!
Whee!

(Our attention is diverted to a man dressed all in black seated in a box seat, watching the stage, trying to hold back the emotion in his voice. He softly begins to sing.)

Chauvelin
Paris holds the key to her past.
Yes, Margot, I love you at last.
No more pretend,
You'll be gone,
That's the end...

(He abruptly stands and exits his box seat, anger starting to pour back into him, strengthening him.)

Ensemble

Paris holds the key
To your heart!

Couturier
You'll be "tres jolie" and so smart!

Isadora Duncan
Come dance through the night

Rodin
And forget all your woes.

Marguerite & All
The city of light

Gertrude Stein
Where a rose is a rose!

Marguerite & All
And one never knows where to start!
Paris
Holds the key...

Chauvelin
To her...

Marguerite & All
Heart!

Marguerite
Ooh La La!

All
Ooh La La!

The song has ended, but only partly because Marguerite has stopped singing. Chauvelin has ordered the theater to be closed. Percy saves Marie and Armand from Chauvelin’s guards while Marguerite betrays the St. Cyr’s. She begs Chauvelin to promise not to have them killed, then runs off with Percy to England. Chauvelin grins and walks from the stage. The next song is sung as the soon-to-be victims of the guillotine are pulled forward in the tumbrel, fear coating all of their faces. Note: Helene was the mother in the song “Lullaby” from the Broadway Recording. In this song, her character is brought back, holding her dear Chloe in her arms.

(Deliver Us from “The Prince of Egypt”)

Aristocrats in the Tumbrel

With the sting of the whip
on my shoulder
With the salt of my sweat
on my brow
Elohim, God on high
Can you hear your people cry:
Help us now
This dark hour...

Deliver us
Hear our call
Deliver us
Lord of all
Remember us,
here in this deadly land
Deliver us
There's a man you promised us
Deliver us through the promised man...

Deliver us
Hear our prayer
Deliver us
From despair
These days of captivity grow
too cruel to stand
Deliver us
There's a man you promised us
Deliver us
Out of prison and
Deliver us through the promised man...

Helene
Hush now, my baby
Be still, love, don't cry
Sleep and forget this sad scene
Sleep and remember
My last lullaby
So I'll be with you when you dream
Tumbrel, o tumbrel
Roll gently for me
Such precious cargo you bear
Do you know some way
She can live free?
Tumbrel, deliver her there...

A Small Aristo Girl in Hiding
(While watching Marguerite’s ship leave France)
Margot, you’re safe now
And safe may you stay
For I have a prayer just for you

Vivez, sweet Margot
Come back someday
Come and deliver us, too
(She ducks back into hiding as the tumbrel clatters by)

Aristocrats in Tumbrel
Deliver us
Send a shepherd to shepherd us
And deliver us through the promised man
Deliver us through the promised man

Helene
Deliver us!

The aristos, including St. Cyr, are brutally guillotined under the supervision of Chauvelin. We turn our gaze from this horrid sight to a more pleasant scene: Percy and Marguerite’s wedding. They appear on opposite sides of the stage, walking towards each other with love in their eyes as they sing this duet.

(Love from “Robin Hood”)

Percy and Marguerite
Love
It seems like only yesterday
You were just a child at play

Now
You’re all grown up inside of me
Gee, how fast the moments flee

Once
We watched a lazy world go by
Now, the days seem to fly

Life is brief
But when it’s gone
Love goes on and on

They dance happily, the ideal couple. All this until the sudden arrival of Percy’s friend Lord Tony Dewhurst. Tony reveals that he has just heard of St. Cyr’s execution. All signs point to Marguerite and, as they give her a forged note, she unwittingly admits to the crime. Percy is devastated and sends her to bed alone. He himself goes wandering in the garden as he begins to sing.

(Where Do I Go From Here from “Pocahantas II: Journey to a New Land”)

Percy
The earth is cold, the fields are bare,
The branches fold against the wind that's everywhere.
The birds move on so they survive,
With snow the bears all sleep to keep themselves alive.
They do what they must for now, and thrust in their plan.
If I trust in mine somehow I might find who I am.

But where do I go from here?
So many voices ringing in my ear,
Which is the voice that I was meant to hear?
How will I know where do I go from here?
My world has changed, and so have I.
I have learned to choose and I have learned to say goodbye.

The path ahead so hard to see.
It ends and bends, but where it ends all depends on only me.
In my heart I don't feel a part of so much I've known.
Now it feels it's time to start a new life on my own.

But where do I go from here?
So many voices ringing in my ears.
Which is the voice I was meant to hear?
How will I know, where do I go
From here.

The lights go out and come back on Percy’s library, the next morning. Percy tells his men of the injustices in France and his desire to fight back. The men are reluctant at first, but quickly fall in line with him. Percy sings a song with them to encourage them and start the first battle.

(When You Believe from “The Prince of Egypt”)

Percy
Many nights they've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In their hearts a hopeful song
They barely understood
Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains
Long before we knew we could

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

Dewhurst
In this time of fear
When prayer so often
Proved in vain

Elton
Hope seemed like the
Butterflies
Too swiftly flown away

Hastings
Yet now I'm standing here

Armand
Now I’m standing here

Ozzy
With heart so full
I can't explain

Farleigh and Hal
Seeking faith and
Speaking words
I never thought I'd say

Percy and the Bounders
There can be miracles
When you believe (Percy: When you believe)
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill (Percy: It’s hard to kill)
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve (Percy: You can achieve)
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe…

(Ben begins singing in Latin, disguising himself as the ghost of Caesar. Hal joins him, holding some geese. Soon the others join in, getting into various disguises. I’d tell you what they were saying but I don’t speak Latin. ;-) As they ready themselves, the library changes into a ship.)

Percy and the Bounders
(Now on board the ship)
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill (Percy: It’s hard to kill)
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve (Percy: You can achieve)
When you believe
Somehow you will
Now you will
You will when you believe

Percy
You will when you believe.

We happily get to witness one of the rescues: This time set to song!

(One Jump Ahead from “Aladdin”)

Percy
Gotta keep
One jump ahead of the guillotine
One swing ahead of the blade
If these Frenchies’d stop, I’d have it made!

One jump ahead of the lawmen
That's all, and that's no joke
All this just to rescue a bloke!

Crowd
Riffraff! Street rat!
Scoundrel! Take that!

Aladdin
Just a few aristos...

Crowd
Rip him open, take them back, guys

Aladdin
I can take a hint, gotta face the facts
Sad when a whole country’s after you!

One jump ahead of the hoofbeats
(Vandal!)
One hop ahead of the hump
(Street rat!)
One trick ahead of disaster
(Scoundrel!)
They're quick, but I'm much faster
(Take that!)
Here goes, better throw my hand in
Wish me happy landin'
All I gotta do is jump!

The aristocrats in tow, Percy jumps into the orchestra pit, disappearing from view. We turn our gaze from Percy and his men to Citizen Chauvelin, who is most annoyed by not being able to catch this Pimpernel. Taking a moment to feel sorry for himself, he has stopped by a local alehouse.

(Gaston from “Beauty and the Beast”)

Chauvelin
Who does he think he is? That man has tangled with
the wrong Frenchman! No one says "no" to Chauvelin!

Copeau
Heh heh. Darn right.

Chauvelin
Tricked! Shamed! Publicly Humiliated! Why, it's
more than I can bear.

Mercier
More beer?

Chauvelin
What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.

Copeau
Who, you? Never! Chauvelin, you've got to pull yourself together.

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Chauvelin
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here'd love to be you, Chauvelin
Even when taking your lumps
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're ev'ryone's favorite guy
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why

No one's slick as Chauvelin
No one's quick as Chauvelin
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Chauvelin
For there's no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Paul, Jean or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

Chorus
No one's been like Chauvelin
A king pin like Chauvelin

Mercier
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Chauvelin

Chauvelin
As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating

Chorus
My what a guy, that Chauvelin

Give five "hurrahs!"
Give twelve "hip-hips!"

Copeau
Gaston is the best
And the rest is all drips

Chorus
No one fights like Chauvelin
Douses lights like Chauvelin

Cronie
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Chauvelin

Prostitutes
For there's no one as burly and brawny

Chauvelin
As you see I've got biceps to spare

Mercier
Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny

Chauvelin
(That's right!)
And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair

Cronies
No one hits like Chauvelin

Townsmen
Matches wits like Chauvelin

Mercier
In a snuffing match nobody snuffs like Chauvelin

Chauvelin
I'm especially good at inhaling snuff!
(Ptooey!)

Chorus
Ten points for Chauvelin!

No one shoots like Chauvelin
Makes those beauts like Chauvelin

Copeau
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Chauvelin

Chauvelin
I use antlers in all of my decorating

Chorus
Say it again
Who's a man among men?
And then say it once more
Who's the hero next door?
Who's a super success?
Don't you know? Can't you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down

Grapplin
(Having just entered)
And his name's C-H-A- U-
C-H-A-U - V -
C-H-A-U-V - oh!

Chorus
Chauvelin!

Grapplin and Ropespierre had just entered the bar, and Ropespierre did not look very happy. He made it very clear in his subtle way that if Chauvelin did not find the Pimpernel soon... there would be trouble. Chauvelin was distressed for a moment but, as Grapplin wandered off to the side of the bar, he noticed a conversation going on between a barmaid and her brother who had just entered. Chauvelin settled down in a chair, thinking, as Mercier walked up.

(Gaston reprise from “Beauty and the Beast”)

Chauvelin
Do anything for her brother, hmmm?
Do anything for her brother. Hmmm.

Mercier, I'm afraid I've been thinking

Mercier
A dangerous pastime

Chauvelin
I know
But that short little twerp is Margot's brother
And his French devotion’s only "so-so"
Now the wheels in my head have been turning
Since I looked at that short, little man
See, I've promised myself I'd find the Pimpernel
And right now I'm evolving a plan

If I . . . {whisper}

Mercier
Yes?

Chauvelin
Then we . . . {whisper}

Mercier
No! Would she . . .

Chauvelin
{whisper} Guess!

Mercier
Now I get it!

Chauvelin
Let's go!

No one plots like Chauvelin
Takes cheap shots like Chauvelin

Mercier
Plans to persecute harmless actresses like Chauvelin

Chorus
So the Pimpie’s capture we soon'll be celebrating
My what a guy!
Chauvelin!

However, here is a difference from the musical. Instead of listening to “The Scarlet Pimpernel” with Percy and the maids, we get a musical montage of his exploits, all sung by a few members of the League.

(Zero to Hero from “Hercules”)

A Few Bounders
Bless my soul
The Pimp was on a roll
Person of the week in ev’ry
Brit opinion poll
What a pro
The Pimp could stop a show
Point him at a Frenchie and you're talking SRO
He was a no one
A zero, zero
Now he's a honcho
He's a hero
Here was a kid with his act down pat
From zero to hero in no time flat
Zero to hero just like that

When he smiled
The girls went wild with
Oohs and aahs
And they slapped his face
On ev'ry vase
(on ev'ry "vahse")

Who put the glad in gladiator?
Pimpernel!
Whose daring deeds are great theater?
Pimpernel
Is he bold?
No one braver
Is he sweet?
Our fav'rite flavor
Pimpernel, Pimpernel ...

Bless my soul
The Pimp was on a roll
Undefeated
Riding high
And the nicest guy
Not conceited

He was a nothin'
A zero, zero
Now he's a honcho
He's a hero

He hit the heights at breakneck speed
From zero to hero
The Pimp is a hero
Now he's a hero
Yes indeed!

However, the Pimpernel’s exploits have ceased for the moment as Sir Percy enjoys a short break in the comfort of his home. He is getting his portrait painted by Marie while Marguerite wanders the room, wondering what happened to the two of them. As Sir Percy settles into his pedestal, the background music begins and Marguerite begins to sing, still a little hesitant about her English.

(Part of Your World from “The Little Mermaid”)

Margot
Look at this stuff
Isn’t it neat?
Wouldn’t you think my
Collection’s complete?
Wouldn’t you think I’m the girl
The girl who has everything

Look at this home
Treasures untold
How many wonders can
One manor hold?
Looking around here you think
Sure, she’s got everything

I’ve got dresses and jewelry a-plenty
I’ve got servants and helpers galore
You want a party invitation for next week?
I’ve got twenty.
But who cares
No big deal
I want more

(She turns to face Percy who, for some strange reason, does not hear her as she sings.)

I want to be
Back where we were
I wanna see
Wanna see us dancing
Walking around on those
Want do you call ‘em?
Oh, feet

Wearing that mask I can’t see you too well
Love is required for laughing, dancing
Strolling along down a
What’s that word again?
Street

Back where we walked
Where we would run
Back where we’d stay all day
In the sun
Wandering free
Wish I could be
Part of that world

What would I give
If I could live
With the man I used to know?
What would I pay
To spend a day
Warm in his arms?
Somewhere in this land
They understand
Bet they don’t
Exasperate their wives
Bright young women
Sick of dreamin’
Ready to stand
And ready to know how to get him back
Ask him my questions and get some answers
What’s this fire inside of me
Ready to burn

When’s it my turn
Wouldn’t I love
Love to explore
That mem’ry up above

Back with he
Wish I could be
Part of that world

Her song is finished, and the rest of the room comes back into play. Armand arrives from Paris and goes off to unpack his things. A servant arrives to tell Marguerite that Chauvelin is waiting for her in the garden. She makes her way back, not eager to see Chauvelin again. He, however, has quite different feelings and, after Percy has made a rather humorous entrance and exit, Chauvelin begins to sing...

(Can You Feel the Love Tonight from “The Lion King”)

Chauvelin
I can see what's happ'ning

Marguerite
(What?)

Chauvelin
And you don't have a clue!

Marguerite
(Who?)

Chauvelin
You’ve fallen out of love and here's the bottom line
This love triangle should be down to two

Marguerite
(Oh.)

Chauvelin
The sweet caress of twilight
There's magic in the air
And with all this romantic atmosphere
An old flame's rekindled in the air

Can you feel the love tonight?
The peace the evening brings
The world, for once, in perfect harmony
With all its living things

Marguerite
(To herself, about Percy)
So many things to tell him
But how to make him see
The truth about my past? Impossible!
He'd turn away from me

Chauvelin
You're holding back, you’re hiding
But what, I can't decide
Why won't you be the woman I know you are
The woman I see inside?

Can you feel the love tonight?
You needn't look too far
Stealing through the night's uncertainties
Love is where we are...

Marguerite, however, is not swayed. She sends Chauvelin packing. Armand comes out to tell her that he must leave for Paris. She is most upset; sure that Armand will be killed. He quickly begins to sing, hoping to help her feel better.

(You'll Be In My Heart from “Tarzan”)

Armand
Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand
Hold it tight

I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

Marguerite
For one so small,
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

Both
'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here
In my heart always
Always

Armand goes off to France, Marguerite walks off-stage, and Percy finds himself onstage and alone. An ideal moment for a reprise.

(Part of Your World reprise from “The Little Mermaid”)

Percy
What would I give to live where you are?
What would I pay to stay here beside you?
What would I do to see you
Smiling at me?

Where would we walk
Where would we run
If we could stay all day
In the sun
Just you and me
And I could be
Part of your world

The Prince of Wales has requested they stop by, planning to question them on how much they know of the Pimpernel. They must all look like idiots. So, with Elton at hand to help in the instruction, *grin* the lessons begin.

(Learn to Do It from “Anastasia”)

Percy
Now shoulders back and stand up tall.

Elton
And do not walk, but try to float.

Ben
(A book balanced on his head and “floating” across the room)
I feel a little foolish.
Am I floating?

Percy
Like a little boat!

Elton
You give a bow.

Hal
What happens now?

Percy
A lady’s hand receives a kiss!

Percy and Elton
Most of all, remember this:

Percy
If I can learn to do it,
You can learn to do it.

Elton
Something in you knows it.

Both
There’s nothing to it.

Percy
Follow in my footsteps
Shoe by shoe.

Both
You can learn to do it too!

Percy
Now, elbows in and sit up straight.

Elton
And never slurp the stroganoff.

Ozzy
I never cared for stroganoff!

Percy
He said that like a Romanov!

Elton
The Samovar!

Percy
The caviar!

Ozzy
Dessert and then goodnight?

Percy and Elton
Not until you get this right!

Percy
If I can learn to do it,

Elton
If he can learn to do it

Percy
You can learn to do it.

Elton
You can learn to do it.

Percy
Pull yourself together.

Both
And you’ll pull through it.

Percy
Tell yourself it’s easy.

Percy and Elton
And it’s true,
You can learn to do it too!

Percy
Next, we memorize the layers of the wardrobe.
Now, here we have the waistcoat.

Elton
Second only...

Percy
To the topcoat!

Dewhurst
Oh!

Percy
And in lace and fabrics
You’ll look so darly (Darling?)

Elton
Got it, Farleigh?

Farleigh
No!

Percy
Lord Edward Hastings.

Hastings
He wore?

Elton
Satin!

Percy
Lord Antony

Tony
(Grinning)
Dined in the...

Elton
Matin! (His French pronunciation killing the word for sake of a rhyme)

Percy
Sir Andrew

Elton
Wore a feathered hat.

Percy:
Bad grip on the cricket bat.

Andrew
He looks good in fur of yellow cat!

Percy
I don’t believe we told him that.

Andrew
If you can learn to do it,
I can learn to do it.

Percy
Don’t know how you knew it.

Andrew
I simply knew it!
Suddenly I feel like
Someone new...

Percy and Elton
Andrew, you’re a dream come true!
If I can learn to do it,

Hal
If you can learn to do it,

Percy and Elton
You can learn to do it.

Ben
I can learn to do it.

Percy
Pull yourself together

All
And you’ll pull through it.

Percy
Tell yourself it’s easy

All
And it’s true -

Percy and Elton:
You can learn to do it,

Armand
Nothing to it!

All
You can learn to do it too!

They arrive at the Prince’s house, annoy Chauvelin, dispel the Prince’s thoughts about them being smart enough to pull off even one of the Pimpernel’s scheme’s, and pull the Prince off to rummage in his wardrobe. Marguerite arrives, I have no idea why, and Chauvelin tells her of his latest idea. She should find the Pimpernel for him, or else Armand would be guillotined for being a traitor to France. What a perfect opportunity for a song.

(Poor Unfortunate Souls from “The Little Mermaid”)

Chauvelin
The only way to get what you want is to look for the
Pimpernel yourself.

Marguerite
I couldn’t do that!

Chauvelin
My dear, sweet Margot. That’s what I do - it’s
what I live for. To look for that blasted Pimpernel -
like yourself - after all, you have no one else to
turn to.

I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty
You weren’t kidding when you called me, well, a witch
But you’ll find that nowadays
I’ve mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light and made a switch
True? Yes

And I fortunately hold a little power
It’s a talent that I always have possessed
And here lately, please don’t laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, lonely and depressed
(Pathetic)

Poor unfortunate Armand
In pain
In need
He couldn’t be any thinner
The only help he’ll get’s from the girl
But will I help him?
Yes, indeed
That poor unfortunate Armand
So sad
So true
You come flocking to my presence
Crying, “Help, Chauvelin please!”
Will I help you?
Yes, I do

Have we got a deal?

Marguerite
If I betray the Pimpernel, everyone would hate me, including myself.

Chauvelin
But you’d have your brother. Life’s full of tough choices, in it.

Come on, you poor unfortunate soul
Go ahead!
Make your choice!
I’m a very busy Frenchman
And I haven’t got all day
It won’t cost much
Just the Pimpernel!
You poor unfortunate soul
It’s sad
But true
If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet
You’ve got to pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and sign the scroll!
Copeau, Mercier, now I’ve got her, boys
The boss is on a roll
This poor unfortunate soul

With the final notes, the curtain drops, the lights come back up, and the audience gets a fifteen minute intermission.

Act II

Lord Grenville’s Ball is underway and a new song has been introduced, thanks to Percy. A pledge of loyalty to the Pimpernel! Naturally, Chauvelin declines to sing along, despite Percy’s best efforts! *grin*

(Rescue Aid Society from “The Rescuers”)

S-C-A-R-L-E-T
Pimpie Aid Society
Heads held high, touch the sky
You mean everything to me

In a fix, in a bind
Call on him anytime
He'll appear from nowhere
Mighty is he

S-C-A-R-L-E-T
Pimpie Aid Society
Honesty, loyalty
We pledge to thee

S-C-A-R-L-E-T
Pimpie Aid Society
Heads held high, touch the sky
You mean everything to me

In a jam, in a scrape
And you think, "no escape"
Do not fear, he'll be here
Courageous is he

S-C-A-R-L-E-T
Pimpie Aid Society
Heads held high, touch the sky
Our hearts we pledge to thee

They dance and Marguerite gets word to the Pimpernel to meet him on the footbridge at one o’clock. Once there, she confesses that Chauvelin betrayed her and that now Armand is in prison. Percy is overjoyed that Marguerite did not, in fact, betray him and he sends her back to the party, promising to help. Then, in a fit of passion... what, did you expect something other than singing? Note: For this song, recall to your memory the wonderful Doug Sills and his little tongue-rolling-R’s thing. (“It shimmers so... Rrrrrrrr!”)

(So This Is Love from “Cinderella”)

Percy
So this is love,
Rrrrrrrrrrr...
So this is love
So this is what makes life divine
I'm all aglow, Rrrrrrrrr...
And now I know
The key to all heaven is mine
My heart has wings, Rrrrrrrr...
And I can fly
I'll touch ev'ry star in the sky
So this is the miracle that I've been dreaming of
Rrrrrr...
Rrrrrr...
So this is love

After an amusing run-in with Chauvelin, Percy runs off to plan Armand’s rescue. However, Marguerite has beaten Percy to France and is now disguised as a prostitute in the hopes of finding out some news of her brother. She bursts out into song, as all prostitutes in 18th century France did... Sure...

(Let Me Be Good to You from “The Great Mouse Detective”)

Marguerite
(While filling beer mugs and dancing around)
Dearest friends, dear citizens
Listen to my song
Life down here's been hard for you
Life has made you strong
Let me lift the mood
With my attitude

Hey fellas
The time is right
Get ready
Tonight's the night
Boys, what you're hopin' for will come true
Let me be good to you

You tough guys
You're feelin' all alone
You rough guys
The best o' you sailors and bums
All o' my chums

So dream on
And drink your beer
Get cozy
Your baby's here
You won't be misunderstood
Let me be good to you

Hey fellas
I'll take off all my blues
Hey fellas
There's nothin' I won't do
Just for you

So dream on
And drink your beer
Get cozy
Your baby's here
Hey boys, I'm talkin' to you
Your baby's gonna come through
Let me be good to you
Yeah!

Chauvelin, however, has recognized Marguerite through her disguise and hauls her off to prison. Gee, thanks a lot, Chauvie. Anyway, he gets this great idea to kill her in the Comedie Francais after making her think she’s escaped on her own. He reveals this great idea to Grapplin, (Percy in disguise) making him most worried about this change of events. He goes back to their hideout in the Comedie Francais and tells the bounders to go home. They smile and tell Percy that they’re not going anywhere. And, just because this is after all a musical, they burst into song.

(Friend Like Me from “Aladdin”)

Dewhurst
Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves
Scheherezad-ie had a thousand tales
But Percy you in luck 'cause up your sleeves
You got a brand of magic never fails

Ozzy
You got some power in your corner now
Some heavy ammunition in your camp
You got some punch, pizazz, yahoo and how
See all you gotta do is write that note (Motioning to Percy’s ring)
And I'll say

Ben
(Kneeling before Percy)
Mister Blakeney, sir
What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order
Jot it down
You ain't never had a friend like me
No no no

Farleigh
Life is your restaurant
And I'm your maitre d'
C'mon whisper what it is you want
You ain't never had a friend like me

Hal
Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service
You're the boss
The king, the shah
Say what you wish
It's yours! True dish
How about a little more shish boom ba?

Elton
Save aristos from prison "A"
Save all from prison "B"
I'm in the mood to help you dude
You ain't never had a friend like me

Dewhurst
Can other friends do this?
(Motions to newspaper talking of the Pimpernel)

Elton
Can other friends do that?
(Point to all the costumes)

Hal
Can other friends pull this out their little hat?
Can your friends go, poof?
(Marie appears from behind a sheet)
Well, looky here
Can your friends go, Abracadabra, let 'er rip
And then make the aristo disappear?

The Bounders
So don’tcha sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed
We're here to answer all your midday prayers
You got us bona fide, certified
You got a League for your charge d'affaires
I got a powerful urge to help you out
So who’ll you rescue? I really wanna know
You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt
Well, all you gotta do is write like so - and oh

Mister Blakeney, sir, save an aristo or two or three
We're on the job, you big nabob
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend like me
You ain't never had a friend like me, hah!

Percy grins and they get back to work. We turn from that scene to one a little more depressing. Marguerite and Armand are in a large prison cell, Marguerite staring wistfully out through the bars. Armand stands behind her, watching gently as she begins to sing.

(I Won’t Say (I’m in Love) from “Hercules”)

Marguerite
If there's a prize for rotten judgment
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history, been there, done that!

Armand
(Stepping forward to talk to her)
Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'
He's the Earth and heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden
Margot, I can see right through you
Girl, ya can't conceal it
I know how ya feel and
Who you're thinking of

Marguerite
No chance, no way
I won't say it, no, no

Armand
You swoon, you sigh
why deny it, uh-oh

Marguerite
It's too cliche
I won't say I'm in love

I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming get a grip, girl
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out
Oh

Armand
You keep on denying
Who you are and how you're feeling
Baby, I'm not buying
Hon, I saw ya hit the ceiling
Face it like a grown-up
When ya gonna own up
That ya got, got, got it bad

Marguerite
No chance, now way
I won't say it, no, no

Armand
Give up, give in
Check the grin you're in love

Marguerite
This scene won't play,
I won't say I'm in love

Armand
You're doin’ flips read my lips
You're in love

Marguerite
You're way off base
I won't say it
Get off my case
I won't say it

Armand
Girl, don't be proud
It's O.K. you're in love

Marguerite
(Sinking to the floor, a small smile on her face)
Oh
At least out loud,
I won't say I'm in love

Armand and Marguerite are escorted out, a tumbrel waiting to take them to the guillotine. However, they manage to escape and receive a note from “The Pimpernel” telling them to go to the Comedie Francais. They quickly do as told, Marguerite managing to learn the identity of the Pimpernel. They arrive, only to find Chauvelin waiting for them. Okay, does anyone mind if I fast-forward again? We all know what happens. *Bzzzurrrptnnpffffrrrmmptbzxz* (Fast-forwarding noise) Anyway, Chauvelin is tied up, Percy has won the day, the League is there, and Marguerite stands before Percy with love once more in her eyes. Percy simply stands there a moment, gazing at her. Neither makes a move towards the other.

Farleigh: What’s going on? They’re just standing there!

Elton: Hey, if it’s romance you want, I could go catch some butterflies!

(Dewhurst shakes his head in annoyance.)

Dewhurst: I’m surrounded by a lot of amateurs.
You want something done right, you’ve got to do it yourself.

(He turns to the League)
First, we got to create the mood.
Percussion...
Strings...
Winds...
(They start playing instruments around the theater)
Words....

(Kiss the Girl from “The Little Mermaid”. Note: This is very amusing if you can find a copy of the song and just sit down, listen to it, and imagine the League doing this! *grin*)

Dewhurst
There you see her
Standing there across the way
She don't got a lot to say
But there's something about her
And you don't know why
But you're dying to try
You wanna kiss the girl

Percy: (Amusedly annoyed) Did you hear anything?
Marguerite shrugs

Dewhurst and a Backup of Armand, Farleigh, and Hal
Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
Possible she wants you too
There is one way to ask her
It don't take a word
Not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl

Dewhurst: Sing with me now.
The League begins to fill the stage, singing and surrounding Percy and Marguerite.

Sha la la la la la
My oh my
Look like the boy too shy
Ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Ain't that sad?
Ain't it a shame?
Too bad, he gonna miss the girl

Percy: (To Marguerite) You know, being the Pimpernel has it’s downsides.
Marguerite: Really?
Percy: Yeah, the League can be really annoying at times. Bursting in at inappropriate minutes, not getting hints, you know. That kind of thing.
Marguerite: I wouldn’t have guessed. They seem nice to me.
Percy: Well, that’s what they want you to think.

Dewhurst and a Few Deep-Voiced Bounders
Now's your moment (Elton: Ya, ya, ya)
Floating in a theater room (Elton: Ya, ya, ya)
Boy you better do it soon
No time will be better (Elton and Armand: Ya, ya, ya, ya...)
She don't say a word
And she won't say a word
Until you kiss the girl

(The League members have formed a circle around Percy and Marguerite and start doing the handkerchief dance in a circle around them.)

The League
Sha la la la la la
Don't be scared
You got the mood prepared
Go on and kiss the girl

Marie and Tussaud
Whoa-whoa!

The League
Sha la la la la la
Don't stop now
Don't try to hide it how
You want to kiss the girl

Marie and Tussaud
Whoa-whoa

The League
Sha la la la la la
(Elton reappears with his butterfly net, butterflies surrounding them all)
Float along
And listen to the song
The song say kiss the girl

Marie and Tussaud
Whoa-whoa

The League Sha la la la la
The music play
Do what the music say
You got to kiss the girl
You've got to kiss the girl
You wanna kiss the girl
You've gotta kiss the girl
Go on and kiss the girl

Well, now that the audience is in utter hysterics, Percy and Marguerite add to the hysteria by kissing. (Thus causing 99% of the female population in the audience to swoon uncontrollably.) The League finally gets the hint and leaves the stage, taking Chauvelin with them. Percy and Marguerite start a final song, a beautiful love duet. (They should sing a song, not a stupid reprise, after all!)

(If I Never Knew You from “Pocahantas”)

Percy
If I never knew you
If I never felt this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be
And if I never held you
I would never have a clue
How at last I'd find in you
The missing part of me
In this world so full of fear
Full of rage and lies
I can see the truth so clear
In your eyes
So dry your eyes
And I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

Marguerite
If I never knew you
I'd be safe but half as real
Never knowing I could feel
A love so strong and true
I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

Percy
I thought our love would be so beautiful

Marguerite
Somehow we made the whole world bright

Both
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong
All they'd leave us where these whispers in the night
But still my heart is singing
We were right

Marguerite
If I never knew you
If I never knew this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be

Percy (Interposed)
There's no moment I regret
Since the moment that we met
If our time has gone too fast
I've lived at last...

Both
I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we'd make the whole world bright

Marguerite
I thought our love would be so beautiful
We'd turn the darkness into light

Both
And still my heart is singing
We were right

Percy
We were right
And If I never knew you
I'd have lived my whole life through

Marguerite
Empty as the sky

Both
Never knowing why
Lost forever
If I never knew you

The curtain closes as they kiss once more, causing the audience to, of course, rise to its feet in applause. The cast reappears, deep in song.
All
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill (Percy: It’s hard to kill)
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve (Percy: You can achieve)
When you believe
Somehow you will
Now you will
You will when you believe

Percy
You will when you believe

Fanfiction