by Citoyenne Ainsley
Sung to "Macavity" from "Cats"
He's called the hidden paw
For he's a master rescuer
Who can defy the law
He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard
The Frenchies Squad's depair
For when they reach the prison scene
The Pimpernel's not there!
Percy Blakeney, Percy Blakeney
There's no one like Percy Blakeney
He's broken every Frenchie's law
He breaks the law of gravity
His powers of disguise-ation
Could make a Frenchie stare
And when they reach the prison scene
The Pimpernel's not there!
You may "seek" him in a basement
You may look up in the air
But I tell you once, and once again
The Pimpernel's not there!
The Pimpernel's an Englishman
He's very tall and thin
You'd know him if you saw him
For his eyes are sunken in
His brow is deeply lined with thought
His wig is highly domed
His coat is never in neglect
His hair is never uncombed!
But although you may think differently
His foppishness is fake
And when you think he's half-asleep
He's always wide awake!
Percy Blakeney, Percy Blakeney
There's no one like Percy Blakeney
He's a hero in foppish shade
A genius of pure bravity
You may meet him in a bystreet
You may see him in the square
But when the cell's discovered then
The Pimpernel's not there!
He's outwardly respectable
I know he cheats at cards
And his footprint is on many files
Of Scotland Yard
And when cell is looted
And the guillotine is rifled
And when the aristo's missing
Or another guard's been stifled!
Or the guillotine is broken
And the blade is past repair
There's the wonder of the thing
The Pimpernel's not there!
Percy Blakeney, Percy Blakeney
There's no one like Percy Blakeney
There never was a man of such
Deceitfulness and duplicity
He always has an alibi
And one or two to spare
Whatever time the deed took place
The Pimpernel wasn't there!
And they say that all the men
Whose deeds of treason are widely known
(I might mention Tony Dewhearst)
(I might mention Andrew Ffoulkes!)
Are nothing more than agents
For the man who all the time
Just controls the opporation
While making up a rhyme!
Percy Blakeney, Percy Blakeney
There's no one like Percy Blakeney
He's a hero in foppish shade
A genius of pure bravity
You may meet him in a bystreet
You may see him in the square
But when the cell's discovered
Percy Blakeney
Percy Blakeney
Percy Blakeney
Percy Blakeney...
Percy Blakeney
When the cell's discovered then
The Pimpernel's not there!