OCTOBER EDITORIAL

 

The following conversation is ficticious. It never happened (You know what I mean?)The distressing part is that it could happen. (You know what I mean?)

(We are at the Sons of Salerno Social Club in a Toronto neighbourhood. It is a Sunday and the wives and children are at a local church while their menfolk pass the time playing cards, watching soccer on the television and discussing business affairs. The air is filled with stale cigarette smoke and wine fumes.) We listen in:
(Big Gianni) Hey, youse guys hear about Don Vito?
(Others) Naw, waddya heard?
(B.G.) He's up on charges on accounta somebody file a complaint.
(Luigi) No shit? That's a shame. Whadid he do, whack somebody?
(B.G.) No way. Vito's a stand-up guy. He wouldn't do that. That's not a job for a Boss, he would send a soldier.
(Sal) That's true what you say, but he's in trouble now, alla same.
(Uggi) How come?
(B.G.) Aw, he no like dis guy froma barbershop, sweepa da hair up  when he have espresso - so he grabba da broom            an tella dis guy to sit the fuck down until he is finish his coffee.
(Luigi) Then what? Did this guy pulla knife on him?
(B.G.) Worse. He go to the Human Rights Commission and file a complaint for workplace violence. He say Vito                     create a poisoned work environment.
(Sal) Basta! It's true. He's inna big trouble now.
(Frankie) Mannage misere! Don Vito was a good Boss. He had guts - and seniority.
(B.G.) Well, that's too bad for him. He no gonna be a Boss no more. Human Rights say he gotta step down.
(Sal) It stinks. Hey, who is gonna be da new Boss?
(Luigi) It better not be the broom guy!
(B.G.) Naw, can't be him. Human Rights say he has to be a visible minority. They want dis other guy, Ranjit Singh.
(Others) What the hell?
(B.G.) He owns da Indian grocery store next to da barbershop.
(Frank) But he's a goddamn Paki, for Chrissakes!
(Others) Shhh!
(Uggi) Oh boy Frank, you done it now! Whatsa matter with you, you crazy?
(Others) Shhhh!
(Sal) You guys better go home and hide. (points at Frank and Uggi) Human Rights find out what you just said you                gonna be done like dinner.
(Frankie) Whaddya mean?
(Sal) You (points at Frankie) can't say "Paki" - is racial discrimination. And you (points at Uggi) can't calla Frankie            crazy because he maybe gonna be offended, or even the really crazy people gonna complain because you                    include him in with them, when he is no crazy.
(Frankie) So what, I can deny I said it.
(Sal) Doesn't matter, they no have to prove you said it. You have to prove you no said it!
(Uggi) That's no right. Should be innocenta until prove guilty.
(Sal) No, is Human Rights. Different way with this law. Guilty unless prove innocent.
(B.G.) Madonna Mia! This Human Rights is a strong thing, maybe even stronger than "Our Thing".
(Sal) Forgeddaboutit!
(At this point, the bells in the local church start to ring, signalling the end of Mass. The men rise, say their good-byes and gradually leave the club until only Frankie, who has wandered to the pay phone in the back, is left inside. He deposits a coin into the phone and pecks out a number on the keypad. After two rings, the call is answered automatically. "Hello, you have reached the Ontario Human Rights Hotline. To inform on a family member - press one. To inform on a friend - press two. To inform on a business associate - press three.")
FADE OUT

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